Cherreads

Chapter 10 - Chapter 9: The Dumb and Dumber

Ravenhold Estate - The Courtyard

A massive black Wyvern, Shadow-Wing, was saddled and waiting in the courtyard. Steam hissed from its nostrils, melting the snow, because the place they are going, no planes can go due to the high mana, which causes failures in the system.

Standing by the beast was Uncle Caelan. He looked like he was going on a vacation to a beach, not an escort mission to a high-magic zone. He wore his shirt unbuttoned, a loose grin on his face, and was currently trying to shove a crate marked "Emergency Supplies" into the saddlebags.

"Stop right there."

The temperature in the courtyard dropped ten degrees. It wasn't magic. It was pure, distilled authority.

Caelan froze. The crate in his hands trembled slightly.

Walking down the steps was a woman who moved with the grace of a panther and the warmth of an iceberg. She wore a high-collared dress of dark grey silk, and her eyes were sharp enough to cut glass.

Lady Lyx Raven.

Rank: S-Rank (Assassin).

Title: The Information Dealer

 Relation: Caelan's Wife (and the only thing he fears).

"H-Hey, honey!" Caelan stammered, trying to hide the crate behind his back. "Just... just packing the essentials for the boy! You know, bandages, rations..."

"Open it," Lyx commanded, crossing her arms.

"Now, Lyx, let's not—"

"Open. It."

Caelan sighed, defeated. He opened the crate.

It was filled to the brim with bottles of Fire-Breath Whiskey, a deck of golden playing cards, and what looked like illegal fireworks.

Kael, standing nearby with his actual luggage, let out a small sigh.

"Discipline," Lyx whispered, walking up to her husband. She reached up and buttoned his shirt. She smoothed his collar. Then she grabbed his ear.

"Ow! Ow! Mercy!" Caelan yelped, tiptoeing to alleviate the pressure.

"You are escorting your nephew to the Silver Spire," Lyx hissed. "You represent House Raven. If I hear that you taught Kael how to gamble, drink, or set fire to a historic monument again, I will shave your head while you sleep."

She twisted his ear.

"Do you understand, husband?"

"Loud and clear! No fun! Zero fun allowed!"

Lyx released him. She turned to Kael. Her expression softened instantly, becoming almost maternal.

"Kael, dear," she said, handing him a small, heavy pouch. "These are actual healing potions. Do not let your Uncle drink them. He thinks they taste like cherries."

"Thank you, Aunt Lyx," Kael said, bowing.

Duke Aleric and Duchess Serephina were watching from the balcony, sipping his morning tea. He looked at his younger brother, who was rubbing his red ear.

"Try not to start a war with the Vanes, Caelan," Aleric called down. "Magnus is still touchy about the last time you visited."

"How would I know that it was not sugar, but his mother's ashes?" Caelan shouted back. He leapt onto the Wyvern, eager to escape his wife's gaze. "Let's go, kid! Before she checks my other bag!"

Kael climbed on behind him. The Wyvern roared, extended its massive wings, and launched into the sky.

As they pierced the cloud layer, Caelan finally relaxed. He pulled a flask from his boot (which Lyx had missed) and took a swig.

"Marriage," Caelan shouted over the wind, grinning wildly. "Best thing that ever happened to me. Also, the scariest. Now hold on! I want to see if this lizard can do a barrel roll!"

The Valnecrest Estate - The Silver Spire

Three hours later, the Wyvern slammed onto the floating docking platform of the Vane Estate.

Kael stepped off, looking composed. Caelan leapt off, looking like he had just survived a roller coaster and wanted to go again.

"Nice view!" Caelan whistled, balancing on the railing with his flask. "A bit nerdy", he saw lots of mages carrying books and other essentials with them, rubbed his eyes just to make sure he was seeing correctly, and asked, "Why is that sheep floating upside down?"

"Gravity experiments, Uncle," Kael said. "Please get down."

Suddenly, the massive doors of the Silver Spire burst open.

"EUREKA! I HAVE ISOLATED THE SCREAM OF A MANDRAKE ROOT!"

A man in scorched blue robes sprinted out, wearing magnifying goggles and holding a vibrating purple crystal.

Sylas Valnecrest(Kael's Uncle and Serphina's brother)

 Rank: King III(Arcane Researcher)

Title: The Disaster.

Sylas skidded to a halt. He looked at the massive Wyvern, then at Kael, then at the wild-haired man drinking on the railing.

"INTRUDERS!" Sylas shrieked. "Identify yourselves! Are you combustible? I need something combustible!"

Caelan's eyes lit up. He capped his flask and grinned.

"Combustible?" Caelan asked, stepping forward. "Buddy, I am the definition of combustible."

Sylas blinked, adjusting his goggles. "You exhibit high levels of chaotic energy! Are you a test subject?"

"I'm the chaperone," Caelan said, walking around Sylas and poking the vibrating crystal. "What does this do? Can I eat it?"

"NO!" Sylas slapped his hand away. "It's a Sonic Bomb! If you drop it, it liquifies your bones!"

Most people would back away. Caelan laughed. "Wicked."

He snatched the crystal from Sylas's hand and tossed it into the air like a ball.

Sylas screamed. "YOU MADMAN! THE TRAJECTORY IS UNSTABLE!"

Caelan caught it behind his back, spun around, and tossed it to Kael. Kael caught it, sighing, and placed it gently on a floating table.

"Uncle Sylas," Kael said calmly. "This is Uncle Caelan. He's... on vacation."

Sylas stared at Caelan. "You... you have zero regard for personal safety."

"Safety is boring," Caelan winked. "My wife isn't here, which means the laws of physics are merely suggestions."

Sylas pulled out a notebook, his hands shaking with excitement, and wrote down the things Caelan said

"I like him!" Sylas announced. "Come! I have a cannon that shoots lightning, but I'm too scared to pull the trigger!"

Caelan threw his arm around Sylas's shoulder.

"Point me at it, Goggles. Let's make some noise."

As the two uncles wandered off toward the lab, Caelan asking if the cannon could kill a dragon, and Sylas frantically calculating the odds, Kael shook his head.

"Why do I have such weird Uncles?" he sighed

"Oh no," Klaus rumbled in Kael's mind. "The Wild One and the Mad One have united. We are doomed."

The High Office

While the uncles initiated chaos, Kael stood before his grandparents.

Grandfather Aurelius Valencrest (Archmage) sat behind a desk of starlight. Grandmother Mirielle Valencrest (High Enchanter) stood by a chalkboard.

"Your Uncle Caelan is a headache, and I still haven't forgiven him", Magnus noted as a distant explosion shook the floor. "But he is effective."

"Mirielle," Magnus nodded to his wife.

Mirielle waved her hand. The room darkened. Illusion magic created a model of a massive stone golem.

"The Ravens taught you to be a dagger," Mirielle said. "To strike hard."

She pointed at the golem.

"But Corrosion is not a dagger, Kael. It is a rot."

Magnus stood up, his eyes glowing blue.

"To use the Star-Breathing Sutra effectively, you cannot just blast mana like your Uncle Caelan. You must understand Structure."

Magnus snapped his fingers. The illusion zoomed in, showing microscopic cracks in the stone.

"Every object in the universe has a flaw," Magnus explained. "A weak point. A tiny fracture in reality."

"If Caelan hits the golem," Mirielle continued, "he uses brute force. But you?"

She looked at Kael.

"If you pour your Corrosion mana into that one tiny crack..."

The illusory golem didn't explode. It simply... fell apart. It turned to dust instantly.

"...the golem destroys itself."

Kael's eyes widened.

"So I don't need to be stronger," Kael whispered. "I just need to know how they are built."

"Precisely," Magnus grinned. "We are going to teach you Magical Structural Analysis. Physics. Chemistry. Biology."

Lydia slammed a stack of books onto the table.

Advanced Arcane Physics

The Anatomy of Dragons

Structural Engineering for Saboteurs

"Three years," Lydia said. "Sylas will teach you creativity. Caelan will teach you unpredictability. And we..."

Magnus's aura flared.

"...We will teach you how to look at a god and see the crack in his armour."

"Finally," Klaus hissed, sounding pleased. "The boy learns to bite."

From down the hall, a massive BOOM shook the tower.

"HAHAHA!" Caelan's laughter echoed. "IT TURNED BLUE! SYLAS, WHY DID IT TURN BLUE?!"

"RUN!" Sylas screamed back.

Kael smiled, opening the first book.

"Let's begin."

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