Brienne's heart raced as she left the yard and headed back toward the keep, smiling like a lovesick fool. Jaime Lannister still wanted her, and later that night, she would finally find herself in his arms again, even if it was only to grant him a single dance. Of course, Brienne knew she could go to Jaime's chamber any time she liked and offer herself to him, but that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to test the waters a bit, to see what he would do and say if given the chance. Jaime would be staying at the Red Keep for the foreseeable future, and there was no reason to rush anything.
An hour after Brienne returned to the White Sword Tower, Podrick was at her door with a message from Sansa. "The queen has finished with King Bran," Podrick said, "and she would like you to join her in her chamber as soon as you are able."
As it was a feast day, Brienne had no other demands on her time, so she followed Podrick to Sansa's room, dismissing him once he'd shown her the door.
Two of Sansa's own guards were posted outside her chamber, but they let Brienne pass. She quietly approached the door and knocked, waiting for Sansa to permit her entry.
"Who's there?" Sansa called from within.
"It is Lady Brienne, Your Grace."
"Come in, Lady Brienne."
Brienne opened the door and stepped inside. She found Sansa seated at the small table by the window, a delicate porcelain tea service set out before her.
"Please, close the door," Sansa said, her tone firm yet not altogether unfriendly.
Brienne did as she was instructed, moving a little farther into the room.
Sansa held her hand out toward the empty seat across from her. "Will you join me? I would like the company."
Brienne crossed the floor, happy that Sansa had asked her to sit for a while so they could talk, not as a queen and a loyal servant, but as friends.
Brienne lowered herself into the chair and turned her attention to Sansa, offering her a warm smile. "It's good to see you again. When Bran told me you were coming, I must admit, I was a bit surprised, but not the least bit sorry. I'm glad that you're here."
"And I'm glad to be here. And to see you." Sansa smiled softly at Brienne, though the smile didn't quite reach her eyes.
"How was your journey?" Brienne questioned, not wanting to ask anything too personal if Sansa wasn't ready to talk.
"Tiresome," she said as she began to serve the tea. "And disheartening. Bran has been king for more than half a year now. I had thought things would be better, but much of the countryside is still in ruins, and King's Landing . . ." She couldn't seem to finish the thought.
"I'm sure it was an unexpected sight."
Sansa handed Brienne a cup of tea and then lifted the pot to pour some for herself. "I had heard about the tent city and the chaos in the streets, but the reports I received did nothing to prepare me for the reality of it all. Things are difficult up north, but nothing compared to how they are here. I wish there was something I could do to make things better, though I know Bran is doing all he can."
"He is, and so is the small council. Lord Tyrion has worked tirelessly—"
Sansa's eyes instantly met Brienne's, stopping her cold. "Has he really?" There was a hardness in her voice that had nothing to do with her doubts about Tyrion's competence as Hand of the King and everything to do with her anger at him for suggesting that she marry Gendry Baratheon.
"He has, Your Grace," Brienne answered, suddenly feeling uncomfortable beneath Sansa's steely gaze.
"And when he is not working tirelessly to help the people, what does he do with his time? Now that he's in his natural habitat, has he resumed all his old habits?"
"You mean the drinking and whoring?"
Sansa flinched, though the movement was so subtle that if Brienne hadn't known her so well, she might not have recognized it for what it was.
"Yes, that is exactly what I mean."
"No, I can't say that he has. He's been surprisingly responsible since he returned to King's Landing." Brienne laughed. "Once or twice, I've even heard Lord Bronn accuse him of being an insufferable bore."
"Tyrion? A bore?" Sansa looked as if she could scarcely believe it.
"Yes, at least as far as Bronn is concerned. Lord Tyrion doesn't drink to excess anymore. He doesn't visit the local brothels. He doesn't even sneak whores into his bedchamber at night, though he certainly could."
"Perhaps he's afraid of what Bran would think," Sansa said thoughtfully as she lifted her cup and took a sip of tea.
"No, I don't think it's that. He had no problem sneaking a whore into Lord Jaime's room, so I doubt he'd worry about sneaking one into his own."
Sansa went perfectly still, her eyes locked with Brienne's over the rim of her teacup. "Tyrion . . . Tyrion sent Lord Jaime a whore?"
Brienne's cheeks flushed warmly, the subject making her highly uncomfortable, but she forged ahead, nonetheless. "He did. Though, from what I've been told, it was to give Lord Jaime dance lessons, not to offer him her other services."
Sansa's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "And do you believe that?"
"I do. Jaime Lannister may have done some despicable things in his time, but he's no liar, and I have no reason to doubt him."
"Because you don't want to doubt him."
"No, because I know him, better than he knows himself."
Sansa nodded. She took another sip of tea before lowering her cup. "And has anything happened between you since his return?"
"You mean . . .?"
"Yes, that."
"No. Nothing. It's not that I don't want to—"
A knowing smile slowly curved Sansa's lips. "It's just . . .?"
Brienne put down her teacup, having yet to take a single sip. "It's just, I'm not sure that I'm ready, or that we're ready. I know that Jaime is sorry for what he's done. I know that he loves me—"
"Has he said that he loves you?"
"He has, and I believe him."
"And you obviously love him."
"I do. But I'm not sure if that's enough. I've spent the past two months questioning my own motives at every turn. I can't help but wonder if I'm eager to forgive him because he's actually earned my trust or just because I want him so badly."
"I know what that's like," Sansa said. "I've spent more than half a year questioning my own feelings, my own motivations, and I don't think I'm any closer to figuring it all out than I was when I started."
Clearly, Sansa was talking about her feelings for Tyrion, even though she hadn't mentioned his name.
"Maybe being here in King's Landing will give you some perspective," Brienne replied, trying to be helpful. "Sometimes, a change of scenery can do a person a world of good."
"And a change of company."
"Yes, that too. I'm sure you were quite eager to be free of the northern lords and all their blustering."
Sansa laughed. It was the first time she had laughed since they had sat down to tea, and it was a surprisingly welcome sound.
"I am," she said. "But it's more than that. It's lonely up north. I have no one—no family, no friends. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could live that kind of life, solitary but not lonely. But I am lonely, all the time. I miss you and Arya and Jon and Bran. I even miss Tyrion, though he hardly deserves it. I miss being around people I love and care about. Of course, I love all my subjects, as any queen should, but I don't have anyone close to me. I don't love anyone like family, and I miss that."
"Do you think you'll feel differently if you take a husband?"
"Perhaps, but my prospects are still quite grim in that regard, and I don't have very high hopes for finding someone I can truly be happy with."
"What about Gendry Baratheon?" Brienne asked, a teasing smile on her lips.
"Don't even joke about that," Sansa scolded. "I swear by the Seven, if Tyrion Lannister were in front of me right now, I'd tell him exactly what I think of him and his ridiculous idea that I marry Gendry Baratheon."
"Are you actually planning to talk to him any time soon, or are you just going to keep ignoring him until he once again turns to drink?"
"I think he's more than earned my cold silence, at least for a little while. Honestly, how could he possibly think that I could ever marry Gendry? Who does he think he is, telling me what's best for my own good?"
"To be perfectly fair," Brienne said gently, "you did ask for his opinion on the matter. If you didn't want to know, maybe you shouldn't have asked."
Sansa sighed heavily, her gaze falling to the teacup in her hands. "I had more faith in him than that. I thought he was going to suggest . . ." Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head sadly. "It doesn't matter what I thought. I was obviously wrong."
"I don't really think you were."
Sansa's eyes met Brienne's again, a hint of curiosity in her gaze. "What do you mean?"
Brienne's pulse quickened, and she held her breath for a moment, wondering just how honest she should be with Sansa. Although they'd grown quite close over the past few years, Sansa was still a queen and Brienne was just the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
"What is it?" Sansa asked when Brienne continued to hesitate. "It's all right. You can speak freely with me. You know you can."
Brienne swallowed the lump in her throat and squared her shoulders, preparing to expose, not just Tyrion's secrets, but Sansa's as well. "You're in love with Tyrion Lannister," Brienne said plainly.
Sansa's gaze darted to her teacup, a clear indication that Brienne had been right all along.
Brienne went on, "You don't have to confirm or deny it. I've read your letters. I know how you feel about him. You were hoping that by asking for his advice regarding a prospective husband, you might force his hand. But it didn't work. Not because Tyrion doesn't want you, but because Tyrion truly believes that he's not worthy of you. He loves you desperately, but he thinks you deserve better. It caused him a great deal of pain to offer you another man's name instead of his own, but he did it because he does love you and because all he wants is for you to be happy, even if it's with someone else."
Sansa finally looked up at Brienne, her bright blue eyes unreadable. Brienne was afraid she had gone too far, said too much, overstepped her bounds, but what was done was done, and she couldn't take any of it back. Everything she had said was true, and Brienne didn't believe in hiding from the truth.
After a long moment, Sansa turned away, staring out the window beside her. Her eyes seemed to focus on some far-off place in the distance, and Brienne waited anxiously for her to reply.
Nearly another minute passed before Sansa finally spoke. "I'm not really sure that I know what love is anymore," she said, her voice so soft and vulnerable that she sounded almost like a little girl. "I lie awake every night, missing my family—those who are gone and those who still walk this earth—missing them and wishing they were with me. When I was a child, all I wanted was to grow up and fall in love with a handsome prince or a dashing knight, the kind of man you read about in fairy stories. A man very much like Jaime Lannister," she said with a shallow laugh. "And then, the world fell apart and it changed me. It changed who I was and what I wanted. It changed all my silly notions about love. And then, after all of it, Tyrion Lannister came back into my life, and for the very first time, I saw him as a man—not a dwarf, not just someone who had been kind to me back in King's Landing—but a real man, the kind they write ballads about."
Sansa turned away from the window and looked at Brienne again. There were unshed tears in her eyes, but she seemed determined to keep them from falling. She just sat there, head high, shoulders back, every bit the queen, telling Brienne exactly how she felt about Tyrion Lannister.
"When we were down in the crypts together, the night of the battle, something happened between us. It was nothing untoward, of course, but it was real and it affected me profoundly. For the first time since I reached womanhood, I found myself actually wanting a man." Sansa laughed, the sound awkward, almost embarrassed. "Can you imagine? Me, Sansa Stark, wanting Tyrion Lannister? I thought I had gone mad, that I was just being irrational because I thought we were both about to die. But then, one day passed, and then another, and then another, and I still felt it. I still wanted him. And I didn't know what to do about it. So, when Tyrion became Hand of the King, I started writing to him, and my affections only grew."
"You should tell him this," Brienne said, finally finding her voice.
Sansa shook her head. "How can I? He wants me to marry Gendry."
"He doesn't want you to marry Gendry. He wants to marry you himself. Why else would he have given up drinking and whoring? He's in love with you, and I think it's well past time he knew that you're in love with him too."
"I can't marry him," Sansa said. "Bran—"
"Pardon my language, Your Grace, but fuck Bran."
Sansa's cheeks darkened, and her eyes widened just a bit. "Lady Brienne!"
"I mean your brother no disrespect. I think he is a fine ruler, and I trust his judgment in most things. But on this, I think he's wrong. Talk to him. Ask him to let Tyrion go. I think, for you, he just might concede. And then, you and Tyrion can return to Winterfell and rule together as the gods have always intended."
The hint of a smile quirked Sansa's lips. "Do you really think so?"
"That Bran will say yes? Of course I do."
"No, that the gods have always intended for Tyrion and I to rule together."
"Yes. I believe that with all my heart."
Sansa's eyes drifted away for a moment, and her smile broadened. Brienne couldn't help but wonder if she was imagining what it would be like to live happily ever after with Tyrion Lannister by her side.
When Sansa finally looked at Brienne again, she said, "Maybe I'm not the only one the gods want to be happy. Maybe you could be happy too, with Jaime Lannister."
Brienne laughed. "And then we'd be sisters-in-law, wouldn't we?"
"Yes, we would. And I could use another sister. I seem to have misplaced mine."
"Have you heard from Arya recently?" Brienne asked, curious to know how she was faring.
Sansa's smile faded. "The last raven I received from her arrived over a moonturn ago. Bran says she is well, that she's made it safely to the other side of the world. And even though I trust my brother, I wish Arya were standing here before me now. I miss her, and I wish she'd stayed in Westeros. To be honest, I wish she had married Gendry."
"Even though she's never aspired to be a lady or a wife?"
"Even though. I know it's selfish, but I'm allowed to be selfish sometimes, aren't I?"
"You are."
"In that case, would it be terribly wrong of me to ignore Tyrion Lannister for just one more night and spend the entire evening dancing with Gendry Baratheon?"
Brienne laughed again. "Oh, no, I don't think that would be wrong at all. Lord Tyrion has spent the last two months making my life a misery. The least he deserves is one night of being miserable himself. Maybe it'll make him come to his senses and he'll propose on the spot."