Chapter 136: Penny's Moment of Clarity
The moment Sheldon solved his problem, he disappeared immediately.
Penny's living room instantly transformed from "Sheldon talking nonstop" into a silence so complete it became awkward.
Penny sat on one side of the couch.
Ethan sat on the other.
A noticeable distance separated them.
And suddenly, Ethan realized something horrifying:
He might have accidentally ruined things.
Originally, he had only tried to "help" by giving Leonard a little push.
Instead, he had somehow pushed himself and Penny into an incredibly awkward social situation.
That easy atmosphere they used to have—
where they could casually talk about anything, even dating or sex jokes without it feeling weird—
seemed to be gone now.
Ethan steadied himself, organized his thoughts, and finally spoke.
"I really was trying to set you up with Leonard before."
"I never thought you were trying to set me up with Leonard."
They spoke at the exact same time.
Then both froze.
Silence returned.
This time somehow even worse.
Penny narrowed her eyes slowly at him.
"I'm sorry," Ethan said immediately before she could speak.
"You said you wanted to date someone kind, honest, and someone who genuinely cared about you…"
"So my first thought was Leonard."
He paused before continuing honestly.
"At the time, I just wanted to cheer you up."
"But looking back now…"
"…it was probably a pretty stupid thing to do."
He thought about it for another second.
"Also…"
"At the very least, I'm definitely not as kind and honest as Leonard looks."
"For example, just now I literally helped you lie to Sheldon."
Penny stared at him for a second.
Then suddenly burst out laughing.
"That's honestly the first time I've ever heard a guy voluntarily admit he isn't honest."
She looked him up and down teasingly.
"Especially a guy who looks like you."
"You know…"
"The handsome type women naturally like."
Finally, the tension in the room loosened a little.
Ethan secretly exhaled in relief.
Unfortunately, Penny immediately followed up with the real question.
"So."
"Do you actually think Leonard and I are a good match?"
Ethan spread his hands helplessly.
"…Honestly?"
"I genuinely don't know anymore."
Then he added:
"But I do know those last few minutes taught me a very valuable lesson."
"So I promise…"
"From now on, I'm never setting you up with anyone ever again."
"No matter who you decide to date, as your friend, my only job is to be happy for you."
"Really?" Penny raised a brow.
"Even if I go back to dating some gorgeous toxic jerk?"
"Or…"
"…my ex?"
"Of course."
Ethan nodded immediately.
"That's part of the basic friendship contract."
Penny looked at him quietly for a few seconds.
"Thank you, Ethan."
This time, her voice was genuinely sincere.
"That actually means a lot to me."
She hesitated briefly before continuing.
"I don't really know why…"
"But both you and Leonard make me feel pressured."
"…What?"
Ethan blinked.
"Pressured?"
"Yeah." Penny nodded slowly.
"But in completely different ways."
Penny looked at Ethan, hesitation flickering across her face.
"When I'm around you sometimes… I feel embarrassed."
Ethan instinctively opened his mouth to respond—
then realized he had no idea what to say.
"I think it started after the last time you helped me," Penny continued quietly.
"You gave me that eighteen hundred dollars and told me you'd 'gotten it back' for me."
"I got my money back…"
"And I didn't have to go crawling back to Kurt."
She shrugged lightly.
"That sounds like a good thing, right?"
Ethan hesitated.
"…Right?"
"It was a good thing," Penny admitted.
"But the problem is…"
"Ever since then, whenever I'm around you, I keep thinking—"
"Why do I always make such a mess of my life?"
She leaned back against the couch.
"You never actually said anything."
"But I still end up feeling ashamed."
Ethan fell silent.
"As for Leonard…"
Penny shifted into a more serious posture.
"That pressure is completely different."
Ethan didn't interrupt.
He simply listened.
"Let me ask you something."
Penny looked directly at him.
"When you gave me that money and helped me out…"
"Did you expect anything in return?"
She paused before asking bluntly:
"Like me becoming your girlfriend?"
"Or sleeping with you?"
"Of course not," Ethan denied immediately.
"And honestly, Leonard wanted to help too."
"He just doesn't have that kind of money."
"So instead, he tried helping you get the money back."
"Yes, I know."
Penny nodded.
"But if Leonard had been the one who gave me eighteen hundred dollars…"
"What do you think he'd secretly expect?"
Ethan thought for a moment.
"…Maybe that you'd start liking him?"
"And after that?"
Ethan couldn't continue.
Because the answer was obvious.
Penny sighed softly.
"I don't know psychology."
"And I haven't read any of those books."
"But I do understand men."
She raised a hand and gestured lightly.
"If I had ten thousand dollars and gave a homeless guy ten bucks…"
"I wouldn't expect anything back."
"That's just helping someone."
"But if I only had ten dollars…"
"And I gave him all of it—"
Penny looked directly at Ethan.
"If he gave me absolutely nothing back…"
"I'd feel bad about it."
Ethan froze slightly.
And in that moment, he suddenly realized something:
He might have underestimated Penny this entire time.
Every time he saw her dating one terrible boyfriend after another, he always had the same instinctive reaction—
What a waste.
Like a beautiful flower planted in garbage.
Like someone far better than the men she kept choosing.
He had never actually said it aloud.
But clearly, Penny had sensed it anyway.
And Leonard…
Leonard truly did like her.
But he also undeniably had expectations.
Psychology taught that people couldn't endure imbalance forever:
I've given so much… but I still haven't gotten what I wanted.
Eventually, that imbalance became painful.
And once the pain started, the brain naturally began rewriting the story:
It's not that my effort was misplaced.
It's that you're ungrateful.
You're not good enough.
You don't deserve it.
So from Penny's perspective—
if she couldn't give Leonard the thing he truly wanted in return—
then his "kindness" would eventually stop feeling like kindness.
And start feeling like pressure.
Penny suddenly interrupted his thoughts.
"Hey, Ethan?"
Ethan looked up.
"What?"
She suddenly smiled playfully.
"I'm twenty-one."
"…What?!"
Ethan stared at her in shock.
"You're only twenty-one?!"
He knew Penny was young.
But not that young.
"Yes." Penny nodded casually.
"So just like you have hundreds of thousands of dollars…"
"I still have a ton of youth left."
Her tone became relaxed again.
"If I spend a year dating someone, I'm not expecting marriage or forever."
"Actually…"
"I don't want that at all right now."
Ethan nodded slowly.
"…Okay."
Now he really understood.
Honestly, if she had opened with "I'm twenty-one", he probably would've understood everything immediately.
"My whole philosophy right now," Penny continued, "is basically just enjoying life while it's happening."
"So…"
"Let's go back to being the kind of friends who simply care about each other."
"That way, I won't feel pressured around you anymore."
"And you won't have to worry about me dating the wrong people."
"There are still infinite possibilities ahead."
"That's better for both of us."
"Okay."
Ethan answered almost instantly.
"And one more thing."
Penny looked at him seriously.
"No matter what happens between me and Leonard…"
"Even if things get weird between us someday…"
"We can still always be friends, right?"
"No problem," Ethan answered immediately.
"Good." Penny nodded.
Then, after a brief pause—
"So…"
"Purely as a concerned friend…"
"How was the date with Leonard really?"
Penny groaned instantly.
"It was terrible."
"He made me feel stupid."
"Like if I didn't have a certain level of education, I wasn't qualified to keep dating him."
"I honestly don't think that's what Leonard meant," Ethan said quickly.
"I'm pretty sure he genuinely wouldn't care."
"So…" Penny narrowed her eyes at him.
"You're saying it's okay if I'm not that smart?"
"…Uh…"
Ethan instantly realized he had trapped himself.
Every possible answer led directly into a minefield.
He absolutely should not have brought Leonard up again.
And then—
"Knock knock knock—Penny and Ethan."
"Knock knock knock—Penny and Ethan."
"Knock knock knock—Penny and Ethan."
Thank God for Sheldon.
For the first time in his life, Ethan had never felt more grateful for Sheldon's existence.
He practically launched himself off the couch to open the door.
Sheldon stood outside calmly.
"Hello, Ethan."
"Twenty minutes have elapsed."
"Okay!" Ethan answered immediately.
Then he turned back toward Penny.
"Goodnight, Penny."
"…Yeah."
"Goodnight."