"I forgot to write the emotions that I had once felt. They were nowhere to be found now. No matter how much I tried, how much I looked for them. I couldn't find them anymore in my self. I remember vaguely that there was once in me, or I'd say the real self of me, the real self of mine that i had lost now i could sometimes feel it like some buried seed in sand that couldn't be born or the tree that should've been in the place of this very cactus life of mine, I could feel it sometimes, vaguely, very faintly, very once in a while or should I say once in a while I could feel it sometimes.
As I grew up, I stopped looking myself in the mirror. Not because of how this hideous self of mine looked but because I couldn't look myself in the eye anymore. I knew it vaguely, that this was not who I was meant to be. This was not me. i never wanted to be like this. Why was i going on the very path that I despised, that i hated From the depths of my core, i did not know.
And yet even after knowing it, even after knowing everything, I treaded on that path. Uncontrollably, i walked the same aisle that once would made me hurl from the very depths of my core. And before I knew it. I had become that. Very self of mine had become that filth that I had ever hated. "
Wake up before food gets too cold captain. You've been sleeping like horse in here. Look up at the sky, the sun is already up on our heads. Wash up, get ready and head quickly down the stairs for breakfast.
Look who's woken up so early. why don't you get a shut eye a little more, must've been hard sleeping through all might after chugging through all those mugs of booze. How many times do I have to tell you, that stuff ain't good for your health. You don't even like that stuff, then why do you even drink that stuff.
...
alright forget it, go get a bath before i serve breakfast for you.