Season 2 chapter 36
The Formal Interrogation
Kniya took a deep, infuriated breath, staring at the shattered remains of his door and his heavily armed best friend sitting in the middle of the room. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to regain some semblance of corporate authority.
"What the fuck?" Kniya muttered, violently tossing his pen onto the desk. "Okay. Let's begin the interview anyway, right fucking now."
Kniya pulled a massive, leather-bound company register toward him and glared across the desk at Salesh. He decided the best way to regain dominance was absolute, petty humiliation.
"Alright, applicant," Kniya sneered. "For the official corporate record... what is your fucking name?"
Salesh let out a heavy sigh, looking at Kniya with complete and utter annoyance. "My name is Sallu Balu."
Malesh, sitting right next to Salesh, suddenly choked. He instantly raised a hand to cover his mouth, his shoulders shaking slightly as he desperately tried to maintain his deadpan composure.
"Sallu Balu?" Kniya asked, his face twisting in disgust. "What kind of fucking name you have to come with? This is not a real name! That is not your fucking name, and we both know it!"
"You know my name," Salesh shot back, crossing his arms. "And then you are already asking me what my name is. When you ask a stupid fucking question, then Sallu Balu is the fuck you are getting as a reply."
Kniya glared at him with pure hatred. "Okay. Fine. I am going to write this in my company register right now."
Kniya aggressively grabbed his gold pen and, with violent, slashing strokes, officially registered the President of Kavilson Steel under the name Sallu Balu. Beside them, Malesh let out a singular, high-pitched wheeze of contained laughter before instantly forcing his face back into a cold, emotionless mask.
The Income Humiliation
Kniya pushed the register aside. "Next question. Since you want to run my empire, let's talk about your current financial standing. What is your income?"
Kniya leaned back, waiting to humiliate the guy. But Salesh didn't flinch.
Instead, a slow, incredibly smug smile spread across Salesh's bruised face. He looked around the destroyed, bullet-ridden office.
"My income?" Salesh laughed out of pure, unadulterated happiness. "Kniya, I am earning more than your entire fucking company. Haha!"
Salesh burst into a fit of arrogant laughter.
Kniya's smug expression instantly vanished. He stared at Salesh, the harsh reality hitting him like a freight train. Salesh owned forty-six percent of Salvesh Industries, the fourth-largest conglomerate on the planet. He literally had more liquid cash than Kavilson Steel and Kniya Airlines combined.
"Ah, fuck," Kniya grumbled under his breath, completely losing his motivation. He tossed his pen on the desk. "I cannot ask him any questions related to money because he is a lot richer than me. This is bullshit."
Kniya cleared his throat, pivoting to standard corporate garbage. "Fine. What are you going to do in five years for this company?"
Salesh frowned, looking genuinely confused. "Why do I need to tell you what I am going to do after five years for this company? That is a long time from now."
"Are you deaf or what, you fucking idiot?!" Kniya exploded, slamming his hands on the desk. "I am saying what are you going to do in the five years! During the five years! Not after five years, you idiot!"
Salesh leaned back in his chair, completely unbothered by the screaming. "I cannot tell you."
"Why not?!"
"This is a fucking secret," Salesh replied flatly.
"Fuck this shit!" Kniya yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "Let's discuss another thing before I shoot the ceiling again!"
The Grand Negotiation
Kniya grabbed a fresh piece of paper. "Okay. Let's discuss your paycheck."
"Yes," Salesh nodded, leaning forward. "That is the fucking topic I want to talk about the most."
"Good," Kniya said. "On the count of three, we both state our initial salary demands. One. Two. Three."
"Five billion credits per month," Salesh demanded loudly.
"Five hundred credits per month," Kniya offered at the exact same time.
The entire office went dead silent.
Kniya and Salesh stared at each other in pure, unfiltered shock. Their demands and supplies weren't just on opposite ends of the spectrum; they were in completely different galaxies.
"Five billion?!" Kniya shrieked. "This is not going to be there! I am only going to pay you five hundred credits! Total!"
"What?! Five hundred?!" Salesh yelled, looking genuinely offended. "I am not going to work for that cheap, you idiot! I am the President of the company! You need to pay me more, or else I am going to do another thing!"
"What another thing can you do?!" Kniya demanded.
"I am also going to take bribes!" Salesh cheered happily, throwing his hands up in victory. "Yay!"
"No! No, you cannot do that!" Kniya screamed, completely losing his mind. "Everyone in the company is fucking taking bribes! My guards take bribes! My logistics team takes bribes! Is this a country or a fucking bribe country?! What the fuck is happening?! No, no, you cannot take bribes!"
"I am going to take bribes in the company," Salesh stated firmly, ignoring Kniya's mental breakdown. "And I am going to take a massive amount of illicit kickbacks and commissions to ensure that my income is high. I don't think it will be as high as a billion credits per month, but a few million credits per month in dirty money is good. Because five hundred fucking credits per month is quite fucking low."
Kniya rubbed his temples, feeling a massive migraine coming on. "Okay... okay. I just want to end this fucking interview. Do you want to become the President or the Vice President of the company?"
"We have talked about this previously," Salesh scoffed. "But I'm not going to tell you again. Figure it out."
"Okay, if you want to become the President," Kniya ground out through gritted teeth, "you are only going to get five hundred credits."
"And I am going to take illegal commissions," Salesh confirmed happily. "It will be ensured."
The Serious Questions
Kniya exhaled heavily. He glanced over at Malesh. The "Comedy Supervisor" was sitting there with his arms crossed, looking absolutely, terrifyingly serious, showing zero emotion at the absolute trainwreck of an interview.
Kniya decided he needed to break Malesh's deadpan face.
"Okay," Kniya said, a chaotic smirk creeping onto his face. "Look at Malesh. He is so serious right now. I think, to make him laugh, I need to ask some serious questions. The time for serious questions... begins! Yay!"
Kniya slammed another custom brass button on his desk. Instantly, intense, highly dramatic, pulsing game-show music started blasting through the office speakers, complete with flashing overhead lights.
"Turn that fucking music off," Malesh ordered flatly.
Kniya ignored him, leaning over the desk and pointing his pen directly at Salesh.
"Okay, Salesh," Kniya said in a deep, overly dramatic broadcaster voice. "As we all know, you recently had a girlfriend. And after some time, you are probably going to get married. So, as your Managing Director and the largest shareholder of the company, I need to ensure that you don't do some wrong things in the office."
Salesh blinked. "Wrong things?"
"You know what I mean," Kniya grinned wickedly. "Intimate things. All the decorum of the office should be maintained. If I find someone doing this thing on company property... I will definitely ensure that I have a picture or a highly detailed portrait of them commissioned, and I will hang it right here in my office."
Salesh stared at Kniya in sheer, unadulterated horror.
"What the fuck, Kniya?!" Salesh yelled. "What the fuck?! This was your serious question?! You fucking pervert!"
Malesh finally stepped in, raising a hand. "Okay, okay, Kniya. This is enough. You can ask any other question. This is not good for corporate HR liability."
"Fine, it was definitely a serious question but you didn't understood the seriousness of it and you know you should have answered that.. anyways I am going to figure out this thing without your help." Kniya shrugged, turning the game show music off. "Okay, Salesh. We all know how you got your ass beat at the amusement park. But you need to tell us the story about how you were even able to make a girlfriend in the first place."
Salesh stood up from his chair, completely outraged. "An absolute no, Kniya! I am here for a fucking interview! Not for this shit! I am not here for this fucking talk related to my personal life!"
"Oh, but it's really important!" Kniya cackled, completely reveling in the chaos. "We have to publish this! We made a deal with the local Woolly Booley newspapers! They want an exclusive on your dating life! You know who owns Woolly Booley newspapers.. I am the guy who owns the maximum shares in the company approximately to 70%."
Salesh's eyes widened in sheer panic.
"What?!" Salesh screamed at the top of his lungs. "You are going to publish my story into the newspaper?! Fuck you! Fuck you, Kniya!"