The ruined church's basement was filled with the sound of flowing water and skin rubbing against skin. A single magic stone lamp illuminated the small room with a dim yellow glow.
I watched silently as the flowing water softened the dried blood that had encased my hands. The black crust lightened and transitioned back to its dark red shade.
A rust-colored mixture of fluids washed down the drain as Hestia's small hands scrubbed an ever-increasing amount of muck off my limbs.
"Goddess… you really don't have to do this."
The short woman glared up at me.
"You!" she forced out. "You leave me here, all alone, for an entire day!" Her azure eyes burned. "Then you come back late at night, covered in blood. You refuse to explain what happened when I ask… and now you don't even want me to help you get cleaned up?"
My head drew back a fraction. "That's… not what I meant.."
The last drops of blood washed away and revealed unblemished bronze skin.
Hestia lowered her arms and silently passed me the towel after she finished drying her own hands.
My lips twitched slightly as the water in the sink lost its rusty color and returned to a translucent state.
"Looking at the bright side of things…. at least most of that blood was not actually mine."
My lopsided smile was short-lived as Hestia glowered up at me.
"That is not funny, Cain." Her eyes narrowed. "Do you have any idea how worried I was over the last few hours? How worried I still am." Her fists clenched at her sides as her bottom lip trembled. "And you don't even care! You're acting like this is a joke!"
My gaze fell to her lips and then back to her eyes.
I bent forwards and angled my head so that I was face-to-face with the goddess.
I gently cupped her cheek with my hand. My eyes locked with hers.
"You're wrong, I do care, Hestia. I care… a lot." My free hand settled on her other cheek. "This is not a joke to me at all… far from it."
The tremble in her lips slowly stilled. "Then why… why will you not tell me what happened?" Her brows furrowed. "I am your goddess, am I not? Do… do you not trust me?"
My eyes widened.
I studied her expression for a moment and then breathed out deeply.
"Come."
I reached out with both hands and grasped onto hers. With a gentle tug, I directed the raven-haired goddess toward the multicolored patchwork couch behind us.
Our hands remained connected as I took a seat. Hestia's eyes did not stray from mine even once as she settled down next to me.
I broke our eye contact first.
"It's not that I don't trust you, Hestia." I shook my head. "It's the opposite! There isn't a single person in this world that I trust more than you. Neither do I want to keep secrets from you. It's just that I… I don't know what to tell you."
I paused, struggling to find the right words
"I don't even know what it is that I'm feeling right now."
My gaze snapped back to her when she squeezed my hands. The tension left my muscles as her expression softened.
"Something happened while I was in the Dunge–"
Hestia's grip on my fingers tightened.
A small smile grew on my face as my thumbs drew slow circles on the back of her hands. "Not to me. I am fine. This isn't about me. There was a… boy there." My forehead creased. "A child, really. And he died. Right in front of me. There was… nothing I could do."
The grip on my hands loosened as she peered up at me. "Are you sure it was a child?" She tilted her head. "Could it not have been a pallum?"
I blinked. "A… pallum? What's a pallum?"
The light left the goddess's eyes as her mouth opened and closed repeatedly.
"Cain… one of these days, the two of us really need to sit down and have a conversation about the common knowledge and sense of this world."
She shook her head. "Pallum are a demi-human race of small people. They have childish bodies and are generally considered to be the weakest of all races."
My eyes went distant. "Yes. I am sure. He was a child. A human child." I hesitate for a moment. "There was another adventurer. I think it might have been his sister. No, I'm sure that's who she was…. She was a normally sized person."
"Oh." Hestia squeezed my hands again. "And how… did he die?" Her voice faltered.
I exhaled deeply. "It was a monster. A Dungeon lizard. I killed it, but..." I flicked my eyes to the side. "That is not really the part I'm struggling with."
Silence settled between us.
"Whatever happened, you can tell me," she said. "Don't worry… Even if you did something bad, I will still be here for you."
I stared at her intensely. "Hestia… tell me. If you walked in on somebody… and saw them dying. They're suffering, and you know that there is nothing you can do to save them."
My expression hardened.
"However, there is one thing you can do. You can make their passing… easier. You can take away their pain, in return for their life." The intensity left my eyes as I leaned back into the couch. "In that situation… what would be the right thing to do? Killing an innocent… or standing by as they suffer."
Hestia's eyes widened.
She did not speak for a few more seconds. "I… are you certain you want to hear my opinion on this?" Her gaze shifted to the side. "I'm not… I am not human. My view on things is… different compared to yours."
I looked at her quietly and did not respond until her eyes met mine again. "Yes. Your opinion is important to me."
The goddess sighed and glanced up at the ceiling.
"Death… dying… it is what mortals do," she said. "All children die eventually. Some sooner, some later, but in the end they all did, without fail."
The usual spark in her eyes was absent.
"So… yes. I would kill that person. Mortal life is already filled with so much suffering. If I had to choose… at least their deaths would be without pain."
My gaze dropped from the goddess's face to the floor.
I chewed on my bottom lip.
At my side, Hestia fidgeted in place at an increasing pace the longer the silence stretched on.
Her hair whipped upwards when she perked up and sprung to her feet.
She raised herself up in front of me and smiled.
"If you really want me to understand how you feel…there is an easy way to do that!"
A slow smile rose on my face to match her own. "A way for you to understand what I feel?… And what way would that be?"
The goddess grinned. "It's time to update your Falna!"
————
Hestia's eyes glinted as she positioned her knees on either side of Cain's hips and took a seat on his backside.
Her child's muscled back and the Falna bearing her sigil were laid bare before her eyes.
She retrieved the clean needle she had previously prepared and pricked a hole into her index finger.
A single drop of divine ichor trickled out of the small wound and from there, guided by her will, fell onto his back.
With familiar ease, she called on the permitted amount of arcanum granted to her while she dwelled in the lower world and directed her heavenly gaze into Cain's soul.
Following her desire, the Excelia her child had accumulated in the Dungeon moved. Its state altered into pure potential and entered the Falna as status points.
Acting as the conduit for the magical substance to reach its destination, Hestia witnessed a compressed version of the feats Cain achieved to earn the Excelia.
Cain's lips thinned as he smashed a goblin's head against the wall until it caved in and spilled gore onto the rocky floor.
Cain squeezed his hand tightly together until the twitching kobold beneath him exploded into dark mist.
Cain's muscles burned as he pushed his finger deep into a Dungeon lizard's eyes until he reached far enough to gouge out its squishy brain.
Hestia lips pursed as she watched the assortment of violence perpetrated by her child. At the same time as the images blurred through her mind, so did the emotions that Cain experienced while living through them.
This… isn't right… It's all wrong!
The face of a red-haired woman flashed before her narrowed eyes,
Having children that regularly explore the Dungeon is stressful. It really is. You never know if they'll make it back or not… but if there is one thing that makes it all worth it… then it's the privilege to witness their adventures when updating their Falna. You'll understand when you finally get your own Familia, Hestia. Their fear…their courage… their pride… their joy. It is a beautiful experience unlike anything else Gekai has to offer.
Hestia's gaze contorted into a glare as she stared into Cain's soul.
This is wrong!
Within the Excelia she was channeling, none of the emotions Hephaestus had described could be found.
The only feelings that continuously rushed through her as she witnessed her child tear apart monster after monster were apathy, boredom, and disappointment.
This is not how an adventure is supposed to feel!
Hestia's eyebrows knitted together. When the visions ran out and the update was finished, her child's status had risen a few points across the corresponding stats.
Just as she was about to close the lid to her arcanum and finalise the ritual, her eyes widened.
Hidden away in a separate corner of Cain's soul, was a spot so dark not even her divine sight could peer through it.
When her heavenly gaze fell on it fully, a stark light gleamed out of the darkness. Without explanation as to how, a cluster of sparkling Excelia revealed itself to her eyes.
Hestia's jaw dropped.
She studied the anomaly closely and then probed it with her divine will. Her eyes widened even further at what her examination revealed.
"Cain… if you could choose to raise any of your stats… which one would it be?"
Her child tilted his head and sent her a sidelong glance over his shoulder. "If I could choose? Well… I guess I don't really have a preference. Any is fine."
Hestia chewed on her bottom lip and then shrugged her shoulders. She tapped into the cluster of excelia, incomparably more dense than the one she had previously channelled, and manually allocated them equally amongst each of Cain's stats.
The moment her will made active use of the Excelia, the accompanying visions shot through her like lightning.
Once the first memory crashed into her, she almost leapt off of her child's back and ruined the entire update.
Compared to the graphic images that came before, the fragments of battle that flashed before her eyes this time were almost serene.
Cain was laughing loudly as he slapped a goblin across the face.
Cain whistling as he tapped a kobold between its bulging eyes with his index finger.
Cain grinned widely as he put his entire arm into a Dungeon lizard's mouth.
A single touch of the young man's hands was enough to bring death to anything the Dungeon threw at him.
Despite the striking image they presented, it was not the visuals of the memories that nearly made Hestia retreat.
It was the accompanying emotions.
Pure, concentrated pleasure raged through her body. The intensity of it was almost too much for her body to handle while constricted to its earthly state.
The goddess's face flushed a deep red, and her breath grew labored. Sweat glistened on her pristine skin.
When the final portion of Excelia was finally absorbed by the Falna, Hestia almost toppled over.
"Goddess?… Are you… are you alright?" Cain asked.
Hestia's breath hitched. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Once they opened again, she exhaled audibly and peered down at her child's freshly updated status.
Name: Cain
Level: 1
Strength: I 0 -> I 47
Endurance: I 0 -> I 45
Dexterity: I 0 -> I 42
Agility: I 0 -> I 41
Magic: I 0 -> I 40
Skills:
Morsalis
Each life taken with the Blessing of Death is used to empower the host.
Magic:
— None
This… It's that skill of his… Morsalis… If the others found out that something like this existed…
Hestias frowned as she positioned a blank piece of paper over Cain's back and permitted his status to be copied onto it.
Her frown shifted into a grimace.
Mind-numbing pleasure was not the only thing she felt when channeling the Excelia Cain had gathered with his skill.
She placed the newly marked paper to the side and leaned forwards until her body was squished down flat against his back.
With a deep exhale, she encircled his broad upper body with her arms and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Cain… are you sure you….
———-
… want to be an adventurer?" Hestia asked quietly
Her breath tickled my ear as I froze in place. For a long moment, I did not move from my position.
I abruptly rolled myself over until my back faced the bed and swiftly pulled the yelping goddess onto my bare chest.
I crossed my arms over her lower back and peered into her wide blue eyes. "Why do you ask?"
The goddess exhaled slowly. The released air tickled my nose. "When gods update their children's Falna… we get a kind of… summary of what you experienced... I felt the emotions you experienced when you fought in the Dungeon." Her eyes narrowed. "Cain… that is not what adventuring is supposed to feel like."
A single eyebrow rose. "Are you telling me that there are… rules for what I'm allowed to feel when killing monsters?"
The goddess glared at me. "I'm serious, Cain! You're supposed to feel happy!"
"...Happy?"
"Yes. Happy!" Her gaze softened. "Not before, or even during, but definitely after!"
She propped her hands on my shoulders and leaned back. "You felt nothing at all while exploring the Dungeon… that is not how it's supposed to be. You should feel proud when you defeat a monster. Happy when you win a fight. Joy when the day is done and you have attained victory."
She lowered herself back down until her face hovered over mine. "You felt none of that… the only times you felt anything even remotely similar were when you used that skill."
Her voice was strained as she spat out the word "skill".
Ah… So that's what this is about.
"You don't like me using my Blessing, do you?"
Hestia flinched and unwrapped her body from mine. She shuffled backwards and seated herself next to me.
"Yes. I don't like it. It is not a blessing, Cain." Her gaze darkened. "That skill… it doesn't just kill. It alters your very being each time you use it. It is not good for you!"
Her shoulders dropped. "I felt the after effects of it… I know."
I averted my eyes.
I would have preferred it if she didn't.
"Please, don't use it again," she said. "You don't need it!"
I sighed. "I can't do that, Hestia. I… I just can't. I do need it."
And I don't want to stop.
"If it wasn't for Morsalis… I would not be here right now."
Hestia's fists clenched. "Yes! But that's only because you fought with just your body as a weapon… and you had to do that because—"
I reached out and took her balled fists into mine. They unclenched as I squeezed gently.
"Yes… if I had a weapon, things would have been easier. But even then, I still would have used my Blessing. It is a part of me."
The goddess peered into my eyes and then exhaled deeply.
She lowered herself back down until her turned head lay flat on my chest again.
"Just… please be careful, okay?" she whispered.
I smiled and tangled my fingers in her raven hair. "I will."
My head cocked to the side. "Actually… I am already working on that." I brushed my finger over her temple. "What do you know about guild advisors, goddess?"
Hestia stilled. "Advisors?"
She glanced up at me through a thick curtain of dark hair. "From what I've heard… they're guild employees who take a favored adventurer under their wing and then advise them on anything they might need to do well in the Dungeon… though it's supposed to be almost impossible to get them to actually pick someone."
A smirk grew on my face. "It is not confirmed yet…but I'm confident that there is an advisor waiting for me at the guild tomorrow morning."
She frowned. "Why do you think that?"
"Call it a hunch."
The goddess's frown shifted into a glare. "Don't tell me… is it a woman?"
I repositioned my arms and squeezed her body closer to mine.
"Say, Hestia… how about after I'm done with the guild tomorrow, we spend some time together? Just you and me."
The glare vanished as quickly as it came.