For as long as Ayanami Rei could remember existing, most places around her had always seemed divided into shades of pale and crimson.
And today, those colours simply stretched out ahead of her in one long wait as she sat quietly in the hospital lobby, using only her one healthy hand to turn the pages of the book resting in her lap.
'The Iliad'
She had already been waiting there for several hours. The hospital remained overcrowded with civilians and rescue personnel injured during the recent Angel attack, yet Rei felt little urgency about the passing time. If she returned to her apartment, she would most likely spend the hours in much the same way.
Outside, the siren of another arriving ambulance briefly painted the white walls of the lobby with red light. A medical team rushed past, pushing a high-speed stretcher toward the emergency ward. Rei followed their frantic movements with her eyes. As she shifted her focus, her grip on the heavy book resting in her lap slipped, and the sharp, rigid corner of the book's cover caught the side of her finger.
The stiff edge sliced cleanly into her pale skin. Her eyes twitched slightly at the sudden sting. Small, dark beads of blood formed against her white skin, welling up before slowly sliding downward.
Pale skin. Pale hair.
Red eyes.
Crimson blood.
Along with the gauze covering her left eye, the cast on her right arm, and the bandaging visible at her collar.
That was exactly what she saw in the restroom mirror a few moments later. She held her finger under the running tap, watching the crimson dilute and disappear down the drain.
Suddenly the lights above her flickered a few times and then they turned off. For a brief moment the restroom went dark before emergency lights switched on, covering the room in dim red light.
A voice came over the loudspeaker: "May I have your attention please. Due to damage sustained during yesterday's Angel attack, the Seventh Sector Civil Hospital is currently operating on emergency backup power while connection to the main electrical grid is being restored. Please remain calm. Emergency systems will resume normal operation shortly."
For several seconds, only the soft hum of the emergency lights remained. Then the fluorescent lamps overhead flickered weakly before returning one after another, washing the restroom in their usual pale glow.
Rei looked up to see them flicker. Like the neon in her apartment, these glowed pale light. Sickly fluorescent illumination washing the room in the kind of lifeless brightness hospitals and laboratories preferred. Light that erased shadows instead of comforting them.
After drying her hand, Rei returned to the lobby, she couldn't help noticing once again how pale other people looked too. Their smiles, their curiosity, and their fear all felt muted, as if their emotions were dulled by distance before they could ever reach her.
Someone else had already taken the seat she had occupied. Rei wandered through the rows for a moment before finding an empty plastic chair near the edge of the room. She sat down and opened her book once more.
A few pages later, Rei became aware of someone staring at the cover of her book.
A girl sitting nearby had leaned sideways in her chair just enough to openly read the title resting in Rei's lap. Unlike most people who glanced at Rei and quickly looked away afterward, this girl continued staring with obvious interest.
"Excuse me," the girl said politely, "Is that The Iliad?"
"Yes,"
"Wow. You don't see many people reading classic Greek epics in a hospital waiting room," the girl said, offering a friendly smile. "If you don't mind me asking but are you reading it for some school project, or just for fun?"
"Neither."
The girl looked briefly confused by the answer before recovering almost immediately.
"Just passing the time then?" she guessed. "It's a pretty long book. How are you liking the themes so far?"
"It is about a war," Rei stated.
"Right, the Trojan War, but I mean more the actual dynamics between the characters. The emotional core of the story. The tragedy behind everything."
The girl paused before laughing awkwardly at herself. "Sorry, sorry. I'm probably sounding weird right now. It's just the first time I've ever seen someone else reading it, so I got a little excited."
Rei turned another page quietly.
"The characters fight and they die," she answered. "That is the nature of their existence."
The girl stared at Rei for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond. Rei answered every question sincerely, yet somehow made the conversation feel strangely difficult to continue.
But instead of looking discouraged, though, a strange, knowing gleam suddenly flared behind the girl's glasses. She reached up, pushing the frames higher up her nose as her posture shifted entirely.
"Okay, okay… you seem cool enough that I can probably ask this," she said. "What do you think about Achilles and Patroclus? Because come on a legendary warrior goes clinically insane, refuses to eat, and literally chokes a river with corpses just because his 'best friend' dies? That is peak fiction."
She leaned a little closer. "They were absolutely together… like together. You can feel that too, right?"
Rei looked at the girl quietly for a moment. She didn't fully understand why the girl suddenly seemed so enthusiastic about something that already felt obvious from the story itself.
So she just said, "…Yes."
The girl's eyes went wide. She quickly slapped both hands over her mouth, stifling a gasp that was half-giggle. "You AGREED."
"There was nothing to disagree about," Rei said. "They mattered to one another."
The girl tore her hands away from her face, her polite expression from before vanishing completely as she suddenly had a strange look on her face.
"Yes! Exactly! You totally get the vibe! That means you see it too! Well, I'm Hina Ebina and actually no wait, if you think about it, Achilles totally looked like a bottom, but emotionally he was probably the possessive type. Patroclus definitely had exhausted housewife energy though. Like, 'Achilles, please stop desecrating corpses in front of the guests.'"
"…"
"Does that silence of yours mean agreement?"
"It means silence."
"Well, I can take that too, at least that doesn't mean no!" the girl named Ebina said excitedly. "And Hector? Tragic third wheel! This is basically just a doomed love polygon—"
"There you are, Hina! I've been looking everywhere for you."
The sudden voice cut Ebina off mid-sentence. A blonde girl approached their row of chairs, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. By the time she stopped in front of them, the irritation on her face was impossible to miss.
"There weren't any seats left over there," Ebina replied. "So, I came here."
She adjusted her glasses and leaned forward slightly. "So, how did it go, Yumiko? Did you find out what we came here for?"
"Finally, after looking around for a while, the person in charge told me that my folks are fine," Yumiko replied.
"I mean, that's good news, right?"
"Yeah, except then I asked if I could see them. And can you believe it? He told me they're really busy right now and that they'll see me later! I mean, just yesterday we all went through that, and now they're busy again without even bothering to tell me first. Ugh."
She sighed, running a hand through her hair, and then her gaze finally landed on Rei.
"And who's this, Hina? Your new friend or something?"
"That is not correct." Rei said.
The denial came out flat, almost rude in its simplicity.
"Wait, what? Really?" Ebina blinked, clearly taken aback. "I thought we were having such a great discussion!"
Rei tilted her head slightly, confusion flickering across her pale features. "We were? Since when?"
"What?!" Ebina gasped, clutching her chest as if she'd been physically struck. "Don't tell me it was entirely one-sided! That genuinely makes me sad, you know!"
Yumiko sighed, crossing her arms tighter. "Honestly, Hina, she's right. Not everyone wants to keep up with your weird inner fantasies. I think you might have cornered her a little too much there with that."
Then she turned back to Rei, "Though, even if you're not wrong, you don't have to be so rude about it."
Rei stared up at the blonde girl and asked. "I was rude?"
"Yeah, you totally were, there is definitely a better way to say that, especially since Hina was being pretty nice to you."
"I do not know any other way, this is how I speak." Rei stated it simply, without a trace of defensiveness.
A faint awkwardness settled over the conversation. It wasn't enough to be called an argument, but it was there all the same. Before it could grow into anything more, Hina suddenly jumped into the space between them, waving her hands frantically.
"Come on, Yumiko! Let's go. We've already spent way too much time standing around here anyway. We should go try to find your folks again, maybe they'll actually be free by now!"
"Fine. Whatever."
She turned on her heel and started walking away down the pale corridor, fully expecting Hina to follow. Hina hurriedly gathered her bag and rushed after her, but after only a few steps she stopped and looked back toward Rei. Despite everything, a grin appeared on her face.
"It was really nice talking to you about the book. I hope we can meet again! Maybe next time we can have a detailed discussion, especially when it's about men dilly-dallying with their spears and their as—"
"Come on, let's go. You're making a scene," Yumiko snapped, grabbing Ebina by the ear and tugging her away.
"Yumiko! Ouch, ouch, ouch!"
________________________________________
"Number 89"
When her number was called, Rei stepped up to the reception desk and carefully pulled her NERV identification badge from her pocket. For a brief second, the red lettering caught the pale overhead light.
She placed the badge on the counter. "I am here to visit a patient named Hikigaya Hachiman."
The nurse looked at the badge, then at Rei. Her expression softened with discomfort.
"I'm sorry, but this person has requested that visitors from NERV not be allowed to see him at this time."
"I see,"
Rei didn't argue. She simply accepted the answer as fact. Still, she lingered for a moment longer than necessary before bowing her head slightly.
"I understand."
And she left the reception desk without another word.
Outside the lobby, the hospital corridors stretched out long and sterile, filled with pale light and washed-out surfaces. The ceiling lamps flickered faintly in a rhythm that felt almost like breathing, except nothing here was alive enough to breathe properly.
Rei walked through it all without changing pace. In her hand, the red bandage looked like a single drop of unnecessary colour against the perfectly controlled, white environment.
"Hey it's you, Ayanami."
Suddenly a familiar voice called out to her. Rei stopped and turned her head slowly.
A woman was standing near a window. She had long hair and wore a lab coat, though she clearly wasn't a doctor. She nodded at Rei, holding a paper cup of coffee that had already gone cold, while casually stubbing out a cigarette directly against a "No Smoking" sign.
"Hiratsuka-sensei,"
"It's been a while since I last saw you," The teacher said, looking genuinely surprised to see her there.
She looked Rei up and down, taking in the pale girl's bandages, the covered eye, and the cast on her arm.
"Ayanami, those injuries don't look like they're from yesterday. They've been there for a while, haven't they? Is this the reason you've been missing school these past few days?"
Rei remained silent for a moment before answering. "I cannot share any classified information with you."
"Jeez," Hiratsuka muttered, scratching her head. "I really can't stand how they treat you kids sometimes."
She lifted her paper cup and took a sip, only to grimace immediately. The taste twisted her face, but she forced herself to swallow before tossing the rest of the coffee into a nearby trash can.
"So you're here to see Hikigaya too?"
"Yes," Rei answered. "However, as an associate of NERV, I was not permitted to enter."
Hiratsuka let out a heavy sigh, a mixture of amusement and exhaustion crossing her face. "Yeah, that sounds exactly like him. That kid really knows how to be petty when he wants to be, huh? I mean, he literally demanded a transfer from NERV's top-class medical facility to a public sector hospital like this just to make a point. But don't worry too much, Ayanami. I think he'll come around eventually."
Rei tilted her head slightly. "I do not understand. Why would he refuse?"
Hiratsuka didn't answer right away. Instead, she looked at her for a long moment, studying the girl's expression before asking, "Did someone order you to come check on him? Katsuragi? Or maybe Akagi?"
Rei's posture stiffened slightly, her fingers tightening against the edge of The Iliad.
"No. I was not ordered."
Hearing that, a small smile appeared on Hiratsuka's face. She turned her back toward Rei, casually tossing her empty paper cup into a nearby disposal bin with a clean flick of her wrist.
"Then I think you understand more than you're pretending to, Ayanami. Which means you can definitely go in and visit him."
"But as NERV personnel, I am not allowed, the nurse informed me that this was his request."
Hiratsuka slowly turned back toward her. For a moment, her eyes took in the full sight of the pale, bandaged girl standing alone beneath the harsh hospital lights.
Then she asked, "Let me ask you something, Ayanami. If you weren't here as a member of NERV, would you still have come?"
"No, Then I—"
"Ehp ehp ehp! Think before you answer." Hiratsuka immediately raised a finger. "Because what I'm asking isn't whether NERV gave you a reason to come. I'm asking whether NERV is the only reason you're standing here right now. Is your connection to Hikigaya really only through NERV?"
"Consider this your homework, let your brain actually process that question, and then act on it. You aren't allowed to leave this hospital until you have a real, definitive answer for yourself."
"...Reason?" Rei repeated quietly. "Connection…?"
"Yep. Those are the important words here." Hiratsuka nodded. "Take some time and think about it. I'll be around, so don't try to skip the assignment."
Before Rei could respond, someone tugged at Hiratsuka's coat from behind. The teacher blinked and looked over her shoulder.
"Excuse me, doctor," a man said, looking thoroughly exhausted. "I keep asking the front desk for help finding some pain medication, but nobody is bringing it. Could you please help me?"
"What? Hey, buddy, I don't work here." Hiratsuka sighed. Apparently, this was the third time today she had been mistaken for a doctor.
The patient didn't let go of her sleeve and kept looking at her with tired eyes. "So... you're not a doctor at this hospital? But you're still a doctor, right? Could you at least help me figure out that medication? Just a quick look?"
"Hey, look at me. I don't know the first thing about medication. Go find a nurse or ask someone else who actually knows how to read a prescription."
The patient froze, his expression shifting from exhaustion to sheer disbelief. "Eh? Then does that mean you're not a doctor at all? Then why the heck are you roaming around a hospital in a lab coat if you aren't one?!"
"First of all, I am a doctor. I have a doctorate in classical literature, thank you very much. Secondly, I do not criticize your fashion choices. That pale-coloured gown makes you look incredibly sick."
The patient stared at her in complete disbelief.
"I am sick, you crazy woman. This is a hospital gown."
"Oh, sorry, sorry," Hiratsuka said, waving her hand dismissively, "But you didn't have to go and call me crazy, you know. That's just uncalled for."
"I have every right to call you one! Who even wanders around a hospital in a lab coat while smoking directly under a 'No Smoking' sign?!"
"Th...that is completely unrelated."
"It is exactly related."
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is."
The commotion had apparently attracted attention.
"Hey, what's going on over here?"
Two hospital security guards appeared from a nearby corridor alongside a stern-looking head nurse and quickly stepped between the increasingly irritated patient and Hiratsuka.
"Thank goodness," the patient said, immediately pointing at the teacher. "This woman is pretending to be a medical professional and smoking indoors!"
The head nurse's eyes lingered briefly on the cigarette box in her hand, then on the no-smoking sign directly behind her, before finally settling on Hiratsuka herself.
"Ma'am, we've already had complaints about someone matching your description on the lower floors. You're disrupting the patients. We're going to have to ask you to leave the premises immediately."
"Wait, hold on, I was just leaving anyway—hey, hands off the coat!" Hiratsuka protested as the two security guards firmly took her by the arms and began escorting her down the hall despite her complaints.
As they led her away, she caught sight of Rei still standing in the middle of the corridor. Hiratsuka immediately craned her neck back and shouted one last time.
"Ayanami! Don't you dare forget about your assignment! I will look forward to the result."
"Ma'am, please keep your voice down," a guard grunted.
The corridor gradually fell quiet again after Hiratsuka-sensei was escorted away. Rei remained where she was for a while, staring at the empty hallway.
'...Reason.' The word stayed in her mind. '...Connection.'
She looked down at the book resting in her hand.
'The Iliad.'
The Zeroth Child, or more accurately Hikigaya Hachiman, had given this to her, just as he had given her many books before. She didn't know why he kept giving her books all the time.
They had orbited the same spaces for years. Elevators. Testing rooms. Briefings. Silences.
Neither of them spoke much naturally. Well, at least he used to try when they first met. Yet somehow, words accumulated between them anyway.
Small things, mostly. A comment during a synchronization test. A book placed beside her without explanation. A conversation that wandered from one subject to another before quietly ending.
None of it seemed particularly important, yet she remembered it all, just as she remembered that he had never looked at her the way the others did.
Rei ran her thumb lightly along the edge of the cover. People exchanged things. That much she understood. A gift was returned with a gift, a favor with a favor, and actions usually had reasons behind them. Then why had Hikigaya given her those books, and why had she come here today?
After standing there for several more seconds, thinking about the question Hiratsuka-sensei had given her, Rei quietly closed the book and turned toward the hospital exit.
________________________________________
Thirty minutes later, Rei found herself standing in front of a bookstore. After a brief look through the glass window, she pushed the door open and entered.
The place was surprisingly quiet. Only a handful of customers wandered between the shelves, and even they spoke in hushed voices. Shelves stretched in every direction, packed tightly with books.
Rei slowly turned her head from one section to another. There were too many choices. She had no idea where to begin not only that everywhere she looked she can see stra—
"Hey! It's you! We meet again."
Rei stopped and turned toward the voice. The girl she had met earlier at the hospital, Hina Ebina, was standing a few shelves away with quite a lot of books pressed tightly against her chest.
She hurried over, carefully balancing the stack of books in her arms. Up close, Rei could now read some of the titles. The colorful covers showed illustrations of guys standing way too close to each other, with titles like Forbidden Bond and Gasping in the Dark. It was definitely a pretty suspicious-looking pile of books.
Then, to Rei's surprise, Ebina scratched the back of her head awkwardly.
"Listen... about earlier at the hospital. I'm really sorry if I came on a little too strong. Yumiko was right—I kind of just cornered you and started rambling. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything."
"I was not uncomfortable,"
"Whew, that's a relief! Good to hear. So, what brings you to a bookstore like this? You look a little lost."
"I am looking for a book," Rei said.
"Well, you definitely came to the right place," Ebina laughed, gesturing to the shelves around them. "What kind of book are you looking for?"
"I do not know."
"Huh? You don't know?" Ebina tilted her head, "That's pretty vague. Are you shopping for yourself, or...?"
"I wish to give it to someone," Rei explained, looking down at 'The Iliad' still tucked under her arm. "Because I have been given books before. I believe I should give one in return."
"...In return?" Ebina whispered,
"Yes."
"To someone important?"
"I did not say that," Rei stated.
"But you didn't deny it either!"
"Okay, okay. I get it," Ebina said, nodding vigorously to herself as her mind clearly raced through a dozen different scenarios.
"You do?" Rei asked.
"Absolutely not!" Ebina chirped cheerfully.
"..."
"But I can definitely help you find something! Leave it to me! When it comes to matching the perfect book to a specific... dynamic, I am an absolute expert."
She shifted the stack of books in her arms and pushed her glasses higher up her nose.
"First things first though." She pointed at Rei. "You still haven't told me your name."
"Ayanami Rei."
"Ayanami Rei... okay, that's a cool name." Ebina repeated it once under her breath.
Suddenly, for reasons Rei couldn't quite understand, she found herself watching Ebina adjust her glasses again. The lenses caught the light for a brief moment. Something about that expression made her vaguely uneasy.
"Alright, Ayanami-san, if we're going to find the book for you, I need to know what we're working with. Tell me, what kind of books did you see this person reading the last time?"
________________________________________
"Number 89,"
When her number was called, Rei once again stepped up to the reception desk. This time, she didn't reach into her pocket for her NERV identification card. Instead, she placed a small paper bag on the counter, a faint rustle coming from the book settled inside.
"I am here to visit a patient named Hikigaya Hachiman,"
The nurse looked up, recognizing her instantly "Listen, didn't I already tell you? That patient has requested not to receive visitors with NERV business. It's really best if you—"
"I am not here as NERV personnel," Rei interrupted softly. "I am here as a fellow schoolmate. We also exchange books with one another. My connection to him is not only through NERV. I simply wish to give this to him. It would barely take any time."
She pointed her pale finger toward the bag resting on the counter.
The nurse stared at her for a moment, her eyes moving from the heavy bandages covering Rei's injuries to the simple paper bag. Finally, her expression softened and she let out a defeated but gentle sigh.
"Alright, you can go back and see him. But just so you know, he's currently passed out from his treatment, so you won't be able to actually talk to him right now."
"That is fine."
The nurse gave a small nod and handed her a visitor's slip. Taking the slip and the paper bag, Rei walked down the long corridor once more. The flickering lights overhead didn't seem quite as cold as before.
When she reached the room, she stood quietly in front of the door for a few seconds, holding the paper bag securely in her good hand. Then, without hesitation, she reached for the handle.
The door slowly opened and Rei stepped inside.
________________________________________
Authors Note:
Hey everyone, Chapter 7 is finally done! We hope you enjoyed this one.
Originally, this chapter was supposed to be a lot bigger. The plan was to include Hachiman's side of the story and his return as well, but as we worked on it, we found ourselves going back and forth on how we wanted to handle those scenes. If we had tried to cram everything into a single chapter, it probably would've taken us quite a bit longer to finish.
So in the end, we decided it would be better to split it up and let Rei's side of the story stand on its own. This is actually a pretty important chapter for the story, and probably one of the trickier ones for us to write. Rei is in a bit of a unique position in this story compared to her canon counterpart, where the only real connection she had, at least to some extent, was Gendou. Here, Hachiman occupies that space as well to some degree, so finding the right balance between staying true to her character and accounting for everything that's happened so far took us a fair amount of thought. Hopefully we managed to do her justice here.
As for the next chapter, we'll do our best to get it out as soon as possible. It should properly wrap up this part of the story and finally move us into the next arc, which we're really excited to start writing.
That's all for now. Thank you very much for reading and for sticking with the story so far. We genuinely appreciate all the support, comments, and encouragement you've given this project.
As always, feel free to share your thoughts below. We always enjoy reading your feedback and hearing what you think.
Stay tuned for more.
—CacciaFulmini & Raijinmaru_K2