Using "Kakashi is in love with my grandma" as the premise, the Masked Man looked back over everything that had happened.
Suddenly, it all made sense!
Why didn't Kakashi like the adorable Rin? No one in the world should've been able to reject Rin!
Originally, the Masked Man thought Kakashi was secretly in love with him.
He figured Kakashi's earlier attitude was just tsundere behavior.
Then, after being won over, Kakashi had softened, and after his death, Kakashi had cried so bitterly.
But thinking about it now, it wasn't like that at all.
Kakashi had been grieving because he failed to keep his promise to Grandma!
No wonder the way Kakashi used to look at him made him uncomfortable. It always carried this feeling of looking down from above.
Kakashi wasn't viewing him from the standpoint of a jōnin looking at a genin.
Kakashi was viewing him from the standpoint of an elder!
"Damn you, Kakashi! I treated you like a friend, and you wanted to become my grandpa?!"
Furious beyond measure, the Masked Man slammed his fist into the dirt.
After calming down a little, he returned outside to hear what else Kakashi had said.
"Kakashi-sensei, we understand. This is what they call true love in the books, right? Ignoring looks, ignoring age, ignoring gossip, ignoring even life and death… it's so moving."
"Kakashi, don't worry. We'll help you keep this secret."
After listening to Kakashi's story, Naruto and Sasuke each gave their assurances.
"No need." Kakashi shook his head.
He'd already prepared himself to bear this sin, so hiding it served no purpose.
The whole reason he was doing this was to create a justification the Masked Man would learn about.
If Naruto and Sasuke kept it secret, wouldn't all his effort be for nothing?
—Though Kakashi didn't believe Naruto's mouth could keep a secret anyway.
"I kept this hidden back then so Obito wouldn't be put in a difficult position. But now that Obito is already… sigh, there's no need to suppress my heart anymore. I'm going to announce my love for Mii-chan to the entire world. Chiyo, Koharu—none of them were anything more than Mii-chan's shadow."
Two more streams of tears rolled down Kakashi's face.
Sometimes, having a vivid imagination wasn't a good thing.
While saying this, Kakashi couldn't help picturing all kinds of awful scenarios involving himself and those three old ladies.
"..." The Masked Man fell silent again.
'You even did it so I wouldn't be put in a difficult position. How considerate, should I be thanking you for that, Kakashi?!'
"Kakashi-sensei, don't rush. Sasuke is Orochimaru's disciple, so he can have him use Impure World Reincarnation to bring the old lady back. Then the two of you can be together, so don't be in such a hurry to announce this to the shinobi world."
Naruto quickly explained their plan.
In his eyes, Kakashi just reawakened his feelings for his long-lost beloved.
"What? Orochimaru? Impure World Reincarnation? — No way!" Kakashi's expression shifted.
Even with only his eye visible above the mask, it was an eye full of story.
"Someone revived through Impure World Reincarnation can be controlled by the caster. What if that evil Orochimaru covets Mii-chan's beauty? Wouldn't Mii-chan fall right into his clutches? No way!"
"..."
"Kakashi, you don't need to worry. Orochimaru is a woman now. Even if she wanted to covet some old lady's beauty, she wouldn't have the necessary equipment." Sasuke took a deep breath and calmly reasoned with him.
"Sasuke, you trained under Orochimaru for so long, and yet you still understand him so little? If he wants that kind of equipment, he can transplant one onto himself at any time." Kakashi shook his head.
Sasuke's expression stiffened.
That was actually true!
"Kakashi-sensei, this is a secret I should keep for Pervy Sage. But to put your mind at ease, I have no choice but to tell you. I just hope you don't tell anyone else." Naruto looked melancholy. "Actually, Orochimaru is in love with Pervy Sage! And Pervy Sage also likes Orochimaru's supple, smooth body."
"?"
"Didn't Jiraiya-sama like Lady Tsunade?" Kakashi was stunned too!
He was acting, but Naruto and Sasuke weren't.
Everything they were saying was supposed to be the truth.
So what's going on with Jiraiya?
"It wasn't that he liked Granny Tsunade. Just like you, Kakashi-sensei, that was only Pervy Sage's disguise. Makoto-nii told me some things about the future. In that future, Orochimaru would be killed by Sasuke. After Orochimaru died, Pervy Sage developed self-destructive tendencies. He deliberately accepted the most dangerous intelligence mission, didn't use Reverse Summoning to escape, and chose to die in battle to accompany Orochimaru."
"There was something like that?" Kakashi never expected that while smearing his own name, he'd hear bonus lore on the side.
"No, wait. Based on the stories Makoto told during the Chūnin Exams, wasn't Orochimaru still alive twenty years later?"
"Orochimaru has cursed seals and the Living Corpse Reincarnation technique. He can revive from death at any time," Sasuke gave the explanation.
"So Jiraiya-sama died for nothing in the end?" The corner of Kakashi's mouth twitched.
Dying for love was one thing, but dying for love and then discovering the other person wasn't actually dead was a bit...
"He didn't die for nothing! Makoto-nii told me Pervy Sage wanted to die for love, but failed. After sinking heavily wounded to the bottom of the sea, he was rescued by a deep-sea summon named 'Little Sponge' and spent a long time recovering."
"After finally healing up, Pervy Sage bid farewell to the deep-sea summon and had only just swum up to the surface when he heard someone say, 'These six hundred billion paper bombs were prepared for you.' Then Pervy Sage was blasted heavily injured again and sank into the deep sea, where he was rescued by another summon, 'Little Octopus'."
"After recovering, Pervy Sage once more swam up to the surface. The moment he reached it, he heard someone say, 'I've already transferred the Ten-Tails' Tailed Beast Bomb to the sea surface.'"
"Then that still counts as dying for nothing," Sasuke said, speechless.
"...Jiraiya-sama really did have a rough fate," Kakashi sighed.
By this point, the Masked Man had already left.
But he didn't go back to base.
The moment he heard Kakashi and the others planning to use Impure World Reincarnation on his grandmother, he rushed straight toward Konoha's cemetery!
He had to move his grandmother's grave.
Otherwise it'd be desecrated by Kakashi and that cursed Team 7.
"What?! It's already gone?!"
The Masked Man found his grandmother's grave, only to discover that everything inside had already been emptied out.
Looking closer, it wasn't just his grandmother's grave.
Across the entire cemetery—even the Memorial Stone area nearby—wherever there should've been remains, the soil and bricks all showed signs of being disturbed.
He randomly checked several spots to confirm.
Sure enough, every single one was empty!
Did Konoha have grave robbers?