Uchiha Itachi and Kisame Hoshigaki finally departed their comfortable posts in the Land of Waves, embarking on their new, highly classified mission.
As the current beloved movie star of the Akatsuki, Kisame naturally had to operate in the open as the public face of the operation.
Logically, Deidara and Sasori would have been more suitable choices for a solo diplomatic feature, given their flashy abilities.
But both had severe PR issues.
Deidara, obsessed with explosive art, was highly prone to impulsive, mass-casualty actions that did not look good on camera.
Sasori, originally cold and ruthlessly rational, had recently come to understand the necessity of retaining human emotions after Makoto's psychological tortures.
He was currently experimenting with highly disturbing, fleshy modifications to his human puppet body, requiring various "stimuli" for his research.
Choosing Sasori as the public star would have risked unpredictable, PR-ruining consequences.
Only Kisame, the Akatsuki's most reliable and level-headed member, had demonstrated a natural talent for administration and public performance during their initial takeover of the Land of Waves.
This made him the perfect political fit.
Kisame and Itachi, operating in the open and from the shadows respectively, systematically moved through the collapsing smaller nations.
As previously mentioned, the daimyo of these nations had completely mismanaged their economies into the ground.
The starving populace, heavily influenced by the constant high-budget cinematic propaganda from the Hidden Rain, was already highly familiar with the Akatsuki as heroic liberators.
Thus, they eagerly requested the mercenary group to take over their governments.
Whether openly or covertly, the daimyo of these small nations had always maintained a pitifully weak military grip on their countries and lacked any real means to retaliate against S-rank shinobi.
Moreover, their primary concern at this point was not the welfare of their impoverished subjects, but rather how to cut their losses, pack their gold, and flee.
After all, how else would they maintain their lavish lifestyles in exile?
Their grim journey took them through tiny, obscure buffer countries like the Land of Claws and the Land of Fangs—nations so small they weren't even officially marked on the standard maps of the Shinobi World—as well as slightly larger, though still failing, nations like the Land of Rivers and the Land of Birds.
Kisame handled all the public bureaucratic affairs.
He would arrive in a town, select a capable and respected local civilian leader, establish a new, fair system of governance based on the Rain Village model, and formally invite them to join the Economic Mutual Assistance Alliance.
Having already perfected this exact strategy in the Land of Waves, Kisame was intimately familiar with the tedious process.
As for Itachi?
He carried out his highly specific specialty from the shadows.
Wiping out the corrupt daimyo and their most loyal oppressive ministers, completely cleansing the land of their bloodlines to prevent any future civil wars or claims to the throne.
With his extensive traumatizing experience in efficiently exterminating his own clan in a single night, Itachi could effortlessly track down any survivors trying to hide in the region.
Whether Itachi would actually carry out such brutal tasks was never in doubt.
With just a few carefully chosen words from Makoto—"They all bear the original sin of oppression," "This is a necessary sacrifice for global peace," "Someone must bear this hatred to break the cycle"—Makoto could manipulate Itachi into carrying out these massacres without a single complaint, even with a dark sense of grim satisfaction.
When Makoto had assured Nagato and Konan years ago that they needn't worry about Itachi being a Konoha spy, one major logical reason was that this so-called spy had done absolutely nothing to hinder the Akatsuki in the original timeline, even without Makoto's active persuasion.
If Itachi had truly acted like a loyal spy, relaying even a single piece of actionable Akatsuki intelligence back to Konoha over the years, the village would not have remained utterly clueless about their base locations and jutsu.
Yet he diligently captured Tailed Beasts and completed every mission without fail.
If the original "Spy Itachi" had been so dedicated to his cover, how much more loyal would the current Itachi be, having already met the time-traveling future Sasuke and been explicitly entrusted with his new, global beliefs?
To this end, Itachi had even forged a new blood-red blade, fully embracing his role as the necessary shadow.
After all, Itachi's terminal illness had yet to be fully healed by Tsunade.
He remained a wanted Rogue Ninja, unable to return to the light of Konoha.
He was waiting—waiting for Sasuke to mature, waiting to perform enough bloody deeds in the shadows to fully atone for his past sins against his clan.
Only then would he feel he had earned the right to be reborn, to rise from his lingering guilty existence and confront the Ōtsutsuki Clan alongside his brother.
But for now?
Itachi, still feeling physically prickly and sick all over from his illness, did not even want to waste the chakra to use Fire Release, let alone his Mangekyō Sharingan.
A single sharp blade in the dark was more than enough to deal with these ordinary, corrupt politicians.
...
Meanwhile, in the Land of Rice Fields, hidden deep within Orochimaru's former underground base, Uchiha Sasuke was diligently training according to the grueling goals set by his absent master.
Today was the day Orochimaru's new, highly anticipated training scroll was scheduled to arrive via summon.
"Summoning Technique."
Sasuke bit his thumb, smearing blood on his palm, and slammed it onto the stone floor.
With a puff of smoke, a giant Blue Snake appeared, dutifully spitting out a slimy scroll from its mouth.
Sasuke wiped the saliva off the scroll, opened it, and began reading the instructions.
Sasuke's actual IQ was not that high.
The only reason he seemed so much smarter and cooler than Naruto was simply because he kept his mouth shut and brooded when he didn't understand something, rather than loudly shouting his confusion for everyone to hear like his teammate.
"What in the...?"
The very first line of text on the scroll sent a chill down Sasuke's spine, causing him to break out in a cold sweat.
The sheer shock forcibly activated his Sharingan.
Sasuke currently possessed the Two-Tomoe Sharingan.
After Orochimaru's brutal physical training, he should have easily met the conditions to unlock the final Three-Tomoe stage.
However, he still lacked the necessary, intense emotional catalyst to trigger the evolution.
Now, that emotional catalyst had arrived in the form of pure unadulterated terror, instantly unlocking the Three-Tomoe Sharingan in both of his eyes as they spun wildly.
As for what Sasuke had read?
It was simply a casual update regarding something Orochimaru had promised the future, adult Sasuke.
The scroll read: Sasuke-kun, I promised a dear friend from the future that I would help you produce a daughter. I have prepared the necessary facilities. I will come to collect you when I have time in a few days. Prepare yourself.
How could a teenager not be terrified by this highly predatory message?
The first half of the Chūnin Exams had remained largely unchanged in this timeline, unaffected by Makoto's influence.
Sasuke had still been bitten on the neck by Orochimaru in the Forest of Death, receiving the cursed hickey.
Sasuke had later learned that Orochimaru's current true form was that of a woman and that the Sannin was using the promise of power to lure him in, actively seeking his body and coveting the genetic power of the Sharingan.
But Sasuke had never in his wildest nightmares imagined that Orochimaru "coveting his body" would take this literal form.
That "coveting the Sharingan's power" would manifest in a forced breeding program!
He knew that only he and Itachi remained of the Uchiha Clan.
If Orochimaru succeeded in this sick plan, the proud Uchiha Clan would forever carry the snake freak's DNA, no matter what.
Sasuke instinctively wanted to drop the scroll and flee into the woods.
But as soon as he stood up, his legs froze in place.
If Orochimaru had not changed after the Konoha Crush Plan—if he truly intended to possess Sasuke's body as a vessel as originally planned—would Sasuke have fled?
Would he have remained safe in Konoha?
No!
He would still have chosen this dark path for the sake of acquiring the power to kill Itachi!
If that were the case, he would literally be wagering his soul and his life.
But now, it was merely his physical dignity at stake.
Even if he failed to fight her off, he could endure the immense humiliation and continue his training to get stronger.
So why would he run like a coward?
Besides, where could he even run to now?
Back to Konoha to become a weak coddled mascot while Itachi roamed free?
Sasuke took a deep shaky breath, calmed his racing heart and forced himself to continue reading the scroll.
The next passage further solidified his horrifying conviction of Orochimaru's sinister, grooming ambitions.
In this section, Orochimaru detailed how, under the guise of assisting Naruto and helping him prematurely unlock part of the Nine-Tails' seal, he had secretly instructed Jiraiya to send a spy toad to Mount Myōboku to constantly monitor Naruto's private training progress and report back regularly.
This spy toad was clearly far more reliable at gathering intel than Uchiha Itachi ever was.
The spy toad had recently witnessed Naruto creating a thousand Shadow Clones and simultaneously achieving "post-nut clarity" to instantly enter Sage Mode, and immediately relayed this highly disturbing, yet effective, information back to Jiraiya and Orochimaru.
Orochimaru and Jiraiya marveled at the blond brat, noting he truly lived up to his reputation as the most unpredictable ninja.
He had actually devised such a degenerate, yet sound method to rapidly master the impossible Sage Mode.
At the same time, reading the report, Orochimaru suddenly realized something highly relevant to his own student.
If Naruto could biologically hack his brain chemistry to achieve absolute mental clarity and focus, Sasuke might be able to use the same method to stabilize his Sharingan.
Orochimaru immediately added a postscript to the bottom of the scroll for Sasuke:
'Sasuke-kun, I have heard of a new, highly effective mental focusing technique from Naruto. I need you to take a photo of your lower half with the provided camera and have Aoda bring it to me immediately. I need to medically check if your physical development is progressing normally enough to attempt this advanced training.'
'Also, Sasuke-kun, do not attempt Naruto's technique on your own yet.'
'The ocular power of the standard Tomoe Sharingan replenishes automatically over time.'
'Even if you exhaust it in battle, simply resting your eyes will restore your vision.'
'But if you keep 'beating your meat' and flooding your brain with those specific chemicals while the Sharingan is active, the hormonal imbalance will permanently blur your vision.'
'If you go blind from sheer degeneracy without even activating the Mangekyō, that would be a disastrous waste of your genetics.'
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Its true btw, masturbate too much and you got an eye problem soon.... bet some of you already have it 😭