Don's pov
She is sweetness, a dream come true, a wish granted, my fulfilment, the little good in our rotten existence, my blessing, a Joy, the light at the end of our tunnel. How did you make us love you so much.
We can't go on with this Pur, we don't dare continue this fantasy, we can't be with you, we can't wish for you anymore, you're a dream that could only last so long, a spell that can't pass midnight, and when you do disappear to thin air, when finally you're unbound by it's whispers, you'll be gone, the fantasy broken, the light ruthlessly snatched from our winding dark tunnels. And you'll leave behind two cursed men. Men who had a taste of heaven only to be forced to give it up. Do you know what true pain is Pur. It isn't 'never having ' It is 'letting go after finally getting. ' So yes maybe, in the end we'll die of longing and our feet will always trace us back to your closed doors.
But we'll remain cowards of the assured pain.
We've been rained bullets, Pur. That was our training. Dealing with minor bullet wounds. We've been burned, daggered, slashed and left with gushes. Left to rot to patch our own wounds and not die of it.
We were forced to fight with our disfigured selves and our broken limbs. And it was hell. The second of every Darcens' training was the call to death. Some died, others wished for death. The path we chose had decided the level of our training.
And yet they hadn't budged, they'd chosen the most brutal of them, to live on the dark side. We whispered to the heavens, we begged to have enough time to finish the drug, enough to finish our tamer before we met you and we did, a wicked man's prayer. And yet we were given a blessing, you are our grace Pur. Every Darcen had their own nightmares that startled them awake. You're ours Pur. The thought of waking up to you gone, the thought of the drug loosing it's grip on you, not holding you in place long enough for me to love you more, to keep you longer, to kiss you better, the thought of having you slip through my ruthless grip, hunts me awake.
We'd thought we would have enough by now. We'd be drunk on your love enough, to let go. We would have enough of your light, to scatter wide across our barren dark lives when it does wain.
We had planned for that. The day you finally found your past.
And yet here we are, thoughtless, our solid plans a liquid mess. Drunk men at your feet, begging for more and more,
desperate and needy.
We have felt all pain possibly inflicted. Who would've thought, having to loose you would surpass being rained bullets, being gashed and daggered.
Maybe you'd wonder why we quietly stood aside. And where we got the strength to ignore you, to not come crawling and begging. Well, we know now, the drug had been a fantasy, it is a fantasy, a soon fading dream, and we had to wake up, we have to let go, or we'll be left broken men, more broken and more obsessed, more hungry and less restrained. We can't have you Pur. We never knew loosing you could be this suffocating. We never planned for this, for any of this. You were never supposed to make us love you this much.
Life mocks our strong walls though. The pieces we managed to nail together after you left it a broken mess. Their edges still gooey and dripping in the love you soaked them in. That was how you'd broken them, with care and with love, with soft kisses and whispered words, with careful touches and cheerful giggles, with all of you.
And so, life mocks us for claiming to build a wall already broken, making a bridge that only leads us back to you.
We say we can't love you and our dead hearts only breathes in your presence, we say we don't need you, a lie, one that slips out so easily, a desperate man's call for saving, we can't have you Pur and yet we want to. We can't love you, yet, we can't help it. We lost all strength to put our love soaked walls back together.
You are so wicked though Pur, how could you so effortlessly and so ruthlessly trample on our efforts like that. How could you weaken our already fragile will like that, how could you show us the one thing our broken selves could definitely never resist. Our minds would surely buckle at it's sight.
You.
An enchanting you.
Our beautiful Purple, sway with the moon's light. The moon that had blessed them with her, and the night that had stolen her away.
You are insufferable, our little breath of life.
"Dan, we need to talk... "
Back into reality and my eyes still can't tear away from the sight of her. Her perfect form hanging loosely on Dan's arm. She was so careless sometimes. And yet she found a way to be perfect whiles at it.
The nights winds passed us by, carrying her voice to my eager ears, the wave of it a hymn, a hymn to a prayer.
She really wishes to speak with us...
But why? Was she not angry before?
She had even granted them her deliberate attention by spicing their foods and enhancing their drinks in a very unpleasant way.
But it was enough attention for their weakening minds.
"Okay, let's talk... "
Before he could comprehend what was going on, Dan had swiftly lifted Purple onto his arms , their feet moving towards the one room they've been avoiding all week, and the breath he whiffed into his lungs was a justified obsession, he missed this place, their little love nest. His heaving breaths caught in his throat when he followed Dan's actions. He had dropped Pur softly on the bed and she watched his back turn away towards the doors with pained eyes. But she didn't have to be. He knew what his brother was doing. And it was no where near walking out that door. Their yearning bound them in here. Their longing made chains round their ankles and their necks. They couldn't leave. No, he was bounding her too. He was trapping her in the longing net they found themselves in. He was freeing them of their yearning.
But...No he couldn't, they had discussed this;. They had to stay away from her before they got worse. They realize that night when they returned to find her gone that if one day she truly left and never returned, they were going to cause another hell, another mayhem. One greater than what they'd mad Kantama into, in their haste to make a home for their bride and to provide a good cover for enhancing the forget -not.
And so, they had to get used to her absence, they had to get used to the pain and not cause anymore.
But he'd forgotten too. That Dan was the first to loose it. Dan's control was as fragile as a shell and Pur had weakened it even further.
Dan was broken too, and he couldn't hide it anymore, his brother couldn't hold on any longer.
He wasn't sure he would've held on much either. They couldn't get used to this pain. It was too much, too heavy. They needed their Pur, their drug, their addiction their obsession.
Click. The bells rang. The key to the door turned and tossed aside. It was a saving, this time. A call to grace, a call to freedom.They were going to be saved from those sickly claws of longing.
And later somewhere in the distant or near future, they were probably going to wish they never locked that door, they were going to regret giving in so readily later, but that was indeed a problem for later, tonight they were going to solve a much more hazel puzzle, a puzzle with eyes so amber. A puzzle named Pur.
... ... ...
Did he... Wait did he just... He just locked the door right? She wasn't seeing things, she was sure she had just seen him toss the keys out the window as though it was his enemy. They were still just going to talk right? Right?!
"Let's talk, little Purple..."
Ugh so... they were just going to talk then. Was that disappointed she felt. No no... shoo go away bad thoughts. This was good, it was fine too but..
"The door, why'd you lock it...? "
Dan had never looked so lost so lacking of strength, he couldn't even master enough to plaster his unique grin. And when he did smile, he looked so tired. She saw how his eyes dimmed when he traced her line of sight to the door and then back into her eyes...
"Oh, that, just making sure no one leaves until we're done in here."
Somehow, she could tell those words weren't just for her, and that maybe he might have given a side glance to his brother when he said them. And as though to confirm her thoughts, she watched Dan turn to the stone stiff Don and say;
"Brother, I'm not as strong as you are. I'll always loose it first. But I know you loose it worse, you try to avoid that. I tried to hold on too even though I was in less a state to do so. But tonight, I have no strength left, I can't hold back long enough to be like you or stop you when you do loose control. But you heard her, she's fine with it. Purple, you said it yourself, you're fine with him like that are you not?"
She didn't get to answer that as he kept on , but well even if it was rethorical, she surely didn't mind,.. who was she kidding she didn't mind at all!
" So yes, we're are going to talk little purple, but you see, it's been a hundred and ninety eight hours and in it are thousands of seconds without touching you, without kissing you, without your touch, without your lips, and without our drug and so forgive us purple, if we're a bit distracted tonight. Because clearly we aren't going to hold on long enough. And Don, (he faced his brother, eyes boring into his , a look she'd never seen the brothers share.) I hate holding back. I'm not you, and Purple made me realize I can never be. But it's fine, she doesn't hate me for it, and I can live with that. So, brother, don't hold on too long, she wouldn't hate you and you know that. Our Purple loves us anyway, right Little purple?"
Was she too shocked to talk? Was she too amazed, too baffled or too deeply drowned in Dan's words to comprehend the question? Yes. She was fumbling at the edges of the words he just spilled on her. She had yet to see her men this way, so unbound,so bare, so open and she had done nothing to provoke that. However she could give an answer to that question,she knew they'd answer the same for her... It was a question already answered but it seems they wished to hear her say it all over again. And why not, she would say it a hundred times over if it made them happier.
" I love you. All of you. Broken, unhinged and a little burned at the edges you. Also, Dan, you slipped in your understanding of my words. You say I don't hate it, your loosing control, as though I'm making do with it, I'm putting up with a nasty child's temper, but that is not true that is not what I meant when I said I'd never hate you for it. It was never a compromise. You should see what my eyes stare at when you're both like that. The mess you are, the broken you think you are, I love that. I would live for that and yes it's been a...a hundred and ninety eight hours and within them, are thousands of seconds without seeing my men like that, without having them by my side and on their knees, without watching them yearn for my kiss and for my touch, without having to return that favour with all I have and all I could possibly give. You think I was fine with that? Then sorry to disappoint but I hated it. I hated you both for it, for leaving me in my own guilty mess, without letting me say a word of justification or apology. I'd rather I begged at your feet than hide here in this lonely mess. I'd rather be locked in a coffin than have my days without you. But I guess you don't understand that. How could you? All you see is your own clouded and crooked judgement. You only see me as you wish to. Only understand what you want to. And so, why not, let's talk. Let's do exactly that because it seems we'd gotten it all wrong from the start. Let's talk, if that's what's going to solve the winding hours of longing. Let's just sit here, on our long gone cold bed, and just...talk. Stupid assholes!"
They didn't understand her at all, what did they thing she was, a glass artifact? She didn't know why she was angry but she was, she couldn't even tell what was wrong with her. Why was she so pissed. Why do they still wish to hold back after so long, did they not want her as much as she did them. But then again they knew nothing about how much she needed them, how much she wanted them, how much she missed them and how many nights she'd spent loosing her grip on her mind on this lonely bed. If they did, they wouldn't accept to just sit here and talk. Making excuses about her fragility and... and understanding, they knew nothing.!...
"Let's skip it. Let's skip the talking then,Pur."
"I definitely like that idea Purple."
She had no time to finish her thoughts or answer their sudden outburst. Right before her eyes, she watched as the suit ties around their necks were tugged away, the strips of cloth gripped loosely in their palm. She watched them lay it before her, their grip loosening in unison and it took all her strength to stand still on her feet and not buckle to her knees in excitement. Because she knew what they meant before they even said it out loud.
"Have your fun first." They understood what she said. They'd listened to her outburst and somehow she felt lightheaded and embarrassed that she let go of her petty little secret. She likes her men putty in her hands, down on their knees and begging. Needy and vying for her attention because she knew they'd only be that way for her. They were only that way with her. They only begged for her, knelt for her and loved her. Maybe she was treading on a dangerous path, maybe she'd already fallen into the dark without realizing, but that was what they did to her too. They pushed her down a path she would have never wandered into. And so she looked down at her men, on their knees and at her feet, presenting her crown, their binding, and her fun.
Her smile bubbled into a giggle. And she had never felt so giddy.
She loves these men.