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Chapter 40: Collaboration: Tensura x Laurier (Volume 1, Part 1)
"Supporterrrrr!!!"
The peaceful, mundane afternoon was shattered in an instant.
Returning from her part-time job, Hestia violently flung open the heavy front door of the hearth mansion. The heavy wood slammed against the wall with a deafening thud as she bellowed for Liliruca, her voice carrying an angry, reverberating roar that shook the very dust from the rafters.
Sitting in the living room, surrounded by piles of sorted magic stones and half-finished accounting ledgers, Liliruca didn't even bother hiding her profound exasperation. She let her quill drop onto the parchment with a soft clack. Wondering what in the world had provoked her goddess's ire this time, she pushed herself up from the desk with a heavy sigh and headed out to answer the summons.
Upon entering the grand foyer where the voice had echoed from, Liliruca was greeted by the sight of Hestia standing firmly with her hands planted on her hips, her chest heaving with righteous indignation. Seeing her in such a furious, bristling state, Liliruca sighed inwardly, resigning herself to the fact that her patron goddess was going on yet another rampage.
"What in the world is the matter, Goddess Hestia?" Liliruca asked, her tone entirely deadpan.
"I have a single question for you." Hestia pointed a dramatic finger at the small pallum. "And let me preface this by saying that lies do not work on gods, and silence is strictly forbidden!"
"...Gulp." Liliruca swallowed hard, genuinely unnerved by the sheer intensity radiating from the goddess. "Just what exactly are you planning to ask Liliruca?"
"It's about... the fact that Bell has recently been engaging in impure romantic relationships with an unspecified number of girls!!!"
Crash! Liliruca almost thought she heard a crack of localized thunder strike directly above Hestia's head. At the same time, the pallum looked up at the ceiling, a silent prayer leaving her lips as she realized that this fateful moment had finally arrived.
No, she had been mentally prepared for this for a long time. It was the elephant in the room that no one in the Familia dared acknowledge. Right now, the explicit, R-18 erotic doujinshi featuring Bell Cranel weren't exactly sold out in the open, but they had spread like a virulent plague through the underground networks of Orario. It was a pandemic of pure, unfiltered thirst. It was only obvious that the scandalous rumors would eventually breach the walls of their home and reach the ears of their goddess—or worse, Bell himself.
"Where did you hear that...?" Liliruca asked cautiously, testing the waters.
"The old lady at my part-time job told me!!" Hestia stomped her foot, her twintails whipping through the air. "She pulled me aside and warned me, saying, 'I hear that boy from your Familia has been playing with fire with all sorts of girls lately. As his guardian, you need to keep a closer eye on him or he'll get stabbed!' What in the world is going on here!!!"
I see. She found out through the gossip mill at her job, Liliruca realized in understanding. The old women of the market were notorious for their information networks.
"In that case, Goddess Hestia, Liliruca will answer you honestly." Liliruca folded her hands in front of her apron. "That rumor is both true and false."
"What do you mean by that...?"
Hestia blinked, the sheer momentum of her anger momentarily derailed. She could tell with her divine intuition that her dependent wasn't lying, but how could something be both true and false? Completely baffled, Hestia tilted her head.
Liliruca paused for a beat, steeling her nerves before delivering the crushing reality of the situation.
Slowly, carefully, she explained that lately, illicit, highly-detailed books modeled after Bell had been circulating in the shadows. The insidious reach of these publications extended not only to the prominent women within their own Familia, but also to high-ranking executives from other factions and unaffiliated civilian girls. There were even some avant-garde editions depicting him with other men, and the ravenous popularity of these works showed absolutely no signs of stopping.
Hearing Liliruca outline the terrifying, city-wide scope of Bell Cranel's erotic fanfiction empire, Hestia's face turned a violent shade of beet red. Her divine anger seemingly reaching a boiling point, she flew into a hysterical rage, practically blowing visible steam from her ears.
"Are you kidding me!!!" Hestia shrieked, clutching her head. "Bell is the dependent of a virgin goddess!! Using him as a model for impure relationships with an unspecified number of people... are they trying to pick a fight with me!!!! I'll smite them! I'll smite every last one of them!"
Hestia's shouting was completely justified, and for once, Liliruca fully, wholeheartedly agreed with her.
"D-Don't tell me..." Hestia choked out, a look of pure horror dawning on her face. "Wallen-whatsit is also in those books, doing that with Bell..."
"Just as you imagine, Goddess Hestia. There are several volumes."
"~~~~~!!?"
Hestia's face contorted into an expression reminiscent of a famous scream painting, all color draining from her cheeks. Seeing her goddess reeling, Liliruca ruthlessly delivered another blow.
"By the way, there are also books featuring Liliruca and Master Bell. Two of them, in fact. The plot was surprisingly intricate..."
"Gahhh~!!" Hestia lunged forward, grabbing Liliruca by the collar and shaking her back and forth. "Was it really necessary to say that right now, Supporter?! And besides, you're the dependent of a virgin goddess too, so you should have at least a little aversion to this kind of talk!!! Stop sounding so proud of it!"
Hestia turned the full brunt of her manic anger toward Liliruca. Just as a full-blown, hair-pulling catfight was about to break out between the two of them in the middle of the foyer, the living room door was forcefully thrown open.
"Lady Lili, it's a disaster!!"
Haruhime stumbled into the room, her golden fox ears flattened against her head in sheer panic, her tail bristled out to twice its normal size.
"Lady Haruhime?! What's wrong, why are you in such a panic?" Liliruca asked, prying herself out of Hestia's grip.
"Actually...!?" Haruhime looked up, her emerald eyes widening in dismay. "O-Oh, Goddess Hestia, you're here as well..."
The moment she saw Hestia's face, Haruhime clamped her mouth shut so fast her teeth clicked. She reflexively hid something behind her back. Seeing the Renard's terrified reaction, Liliruca immediately understood the gravity of the situation.
—This is an urgent matter that she absolutely has to tell me.
—And it's a topic that absolutely cannot be brought up in front of Goddess Hestia.
Deducing the general nature of the issue from those two facts, Liliruca let out a long, exhausted sigh and urged Haruhime to continue.
"It's fine, Lady Haruhime. You can speak freely. It seems Goddess Hestia has already found out about the books featuring Master Bell."
"I-Is that really true!?" Haruhime squeaked, her face flushing crimson.
"What's this?" Hestia narrowed her eyes, stepping closer. "The topic of Bell's books was suddenly brought up, and I have nothing but a very, very bad feeling about this..."
Perhaps her divine intuition had kicked in to warn her of impending psychological trauma. Ignoring the trembling Hestia, Haruhime slowly pulled two freshly printed books out from within the folds of her robes.
When she saw the covers, Liliruca felt a flash of confusion. Instead of the usual provocative art, the cover featured an illustration of an unusual, perfectly round blue slime that she had never seen before in any Dungeon bestiary. However, that fleeting question was instantly blown away by Haruhime's next panicked words.
"Lady Laurier Swar has released a new publication! And it's a two-volume set, part one and part two!!!"
"W-What did you just say!!?" Liliruca shrieked, her composed facade shattering completely.
"Whoa!? That startled me!!" Hestia flinched back. "What's wrong, Supporter? This Laurier Swar person... why are you so shocked just because she released a book? Is she some kind of dark guild mastermind?"
Seeing that Hestia completely failed to grasp the apocalyptic severity of the situation, Liliruca practically grabbed her goddess by the shoulders to explain just how terrifying of an existence Laurier Swar truly was.
"She is—the model for the one and only 'pure love story' ever drawn by an author who normally only creates books about impure relationships."
"...Huh?"
"Furthermore, it wasn't just any pure romance," Liliruca continued, her voice grave. "They arbitrarily altered the past events Master Bell went through, twisting reality to turn it into an idealized, fateful heroic tale between him and her. The sheer quality of the writing and the artwork captivated everyone who read it, making it a massive hit all throughout Orario."
Hestia's face visibly paled.
"W-Wait... does that mean..."
"Yes. Lady Laurier is 'the woman who established a romantic relationship with Master Bell in a format that borders on official canon'."
"Official canon!!?"
Hestia screamed at the top of her lungs, clutching her head as if her mind was breaking. However, Liliruca's explanation wasn't over yet.
"And what's even more terrifying... a few days after that book went on sale, she somehow petitioned to create a brand new category in the official Adventurer Rankings titled the 'Best Female Adventurer for Rabbit Foot'—and brazenly placed her own name in the number one spot."
"Isn't she just rigging it herself!!?"
Hestia whipped her twintails back and forth in a frenzy, expressing her intense, burning indignation at the sheer audacity of this unknown elf.
"It's no exaggeration to say that she is currently the woman who has most thoroughly cornered Master Bell's outer defenses! She is weaponizing public perception!"
"W-W-What did you say~!? As if I'd ever allow something like that!! Haruhime! Let me see that book for a second! I need to know my enemy!"
"Ah, no fair, Goddess Hestia! Let Liliruca read it too!!"
"Truthfully, I just bought it myself from a shady merchant in an alleyway, so I haven't even looked at the contents yet!" Haruhime confessed, her face burning.
After Hestia snatched the glossy book away, Liliruca and Haruhime immediately crowded around her, leaning in from her left and right to read over her shoulders. The three of them stared at the opening pages.
Ding-dong! The sound of ringing bells almost seemed to echo physically out of the beautifully inked pages. Inside a grand, pure white church illuminated by stained glass, Bell, wearing a pristine, tailored white tuxedo, and Laurier, dressed in a flawless, extravagant white wedding gown, were about to hold their holy matrimony.
The attendees filling the pews consisted of gods and high-ranking adventurers from all across Orario. Everyone wore bright smiles of blessing, delicate flower petals danced gracefully through the air, and radiant, angelic light streamed into the room.
"Gaha!!?"
"Goddess Hestia!!!"
Having an absolute, undisputed climax scene shoved directly into her retinas right from the very first page, Hestia took a critical hit straight to the solar plexus of her heart. She let out a strangled gasp and collapsed onto her knees on the spot. Liliruca and Haruhime hurriedly grabbed her arms, supporting her from both sides and dragging her back up.
"Goddess Hestia, please pull yourself together! Deep breaths, take deep breaths!" Liliruca coached frantically.
"Water... no, first, we need a breathing technique to calm down...! Inhale, exhale!" Haruhime pleaded, fanning the goddess with her hand.
With her eyes literally rolled back into her head, Hestia pointed a trembling, accusing finger at the cursed book.
"W... What is this? My Bell is... getting married...!?"
"Goddess Hestia, I say this fully prepared to deal the finishing blow," Liliruca began, her tone somber, "but an opening wedding ceremony is actually on the tamer side when it comes to books featuring Master Bell."
"W... What did you say!!?"
Seeing absolutely no trace of a lie in Liliruca's dead serious eyes, Hestia received a shock so profound she practically heard an exaggerated sound effect of despair ringing in her ears, echoing like a cracked gong.
"T-Tame, you say... Then, then what on earth happens after this...!"
"...Considering your mental and spiritual health, Goddess Hestia, it would be best if you didn't read any further. Throw it in the fireplace."
"Nugugugu!! No, I'm reading it! Do you think I can just stop here without finishing it!!! I have to know what this homewrecker is planning!"
Standing up with a violent burst of sheer, territorial stubbornness, Hestia grabbed the book once more and began to read. She aggressively flipped through the pages, doing her utmost to skim past the detailed vows and the blushing expressions as quickly as possible.
"...Yeah, yeah, the wedding vows, kissing, alright, next...!"
Watching her practically tear the pages from the sidelines, Liliruca and Haruhime didn't say it out loud, but they honestly wished she would read a little slower so they could appreciate the artwork. Well, they figured they could just confiscate it and reread it later in private, so it wasn't a huge problem. Though, it went without saying that the very fact they were thinking that proved those two had also been deeply tainted by the Bell Cranel doujinshi series.
Eventually, Bell and Laurier finished their vow-sealing kiss, and the setting shifted seamlessly from the church to a rustic, idyllic small village located outside of Orario. A stylized monologue box smoothly provided the explanation:
『 A village we stopped at for our honeymoon. 』
Recognizing the architectural style of the village in the background art, Hestia reflexively tilted her head.
"...Huh? This village... isn't this..."
However, that fleeting, analytical thought was completely obliterated in the very next instant. Depicted on the following, exquisitely detailed page were Bell and Laurier, walking toward the center of the village with their hands entwined—and of all things, they were holding hands with intertwined fingers, palms flush together, like true, intimately devoted lovers.
"...!!!"
Hestia's back teeth ground together so audibly it sounded like rocks being crushed. Stepping slightly away from the goddess, who was now vibrating with so much rage that her divine blue aura was on the verge of leaking out and cracking the floorboards, Liliruca leaned in and whispered into Haruhime's ear.
"If Goddess Hestia sees Master Bell doing 'that' kind of scene later on, won't she literally die of anger and get forcefully sent back to the Celestial World?"
"Lady Lili, shh! If Goddess Hestia hears you, it'll be a disaster! But... yes, she might actually explode."
Liliruca and Haruhime whispered secretly behind Hestia's back, sweat beading on their foreheads. Completely oblivious to their exchange, Hestia trembled with pure, unfiltered jealousy. Even so, driven by morbid curiosity, her hands didn't stop, turning the book to the next page.
『 Apparently, this is a Black Dragon's scale. 』
『 I was surprised when I heard it was dropped by the Black Dragon that the great hero Albert drove away from Orario, but to think a single scale could be this massive... 』
Perhaps treating it as some sort of romantic tourist attraction, the two characters were shown conversing amiably while looking up at a colossal, obsidian-black dragon scale embedded deep into the earth. Just as Hestia and the other two began to sigh, thinking they were going to be forced to watch the couple's leisurely, sickeningly sweet journey continue for the rest of the volume—it happened.
Upon turning the page, a dramatic two-page spread unfolded where a jagged black crack suddenly materialized in the air with a sharp shatter! drawn in stylized sound effects. Then, acting like a violent vacuum, the spatial rift began to suck in everything in the surrounding area. Dirt, trees, and finally, Laurier was swallowed up by the vortex. Without a second thought, Bell willingly dove into the chaotic rift right after her.
『 Bell, don't come! No!! 』
『 I won't! Like hell I'd ever abandon you!! 』
Without a moment's hesitation, Bell threw himself into the magical anomaly. And the moment the two of them were completely swallowed, the very next panel depicted a chilling scene where absolutely everything had vanished, leaving only an empty field behind.
Faced with such an absurdly abrupt, genre-shifting development, Hestia looked utterly bewildered, her rage entirely replaced by confusion.
"Hey, hey, talk about a sudden twist! Isn't this a bit too abrupt!? What happened to the honeymoon!?"
"Hold on, Goddess Hestia! Hurry up and turn the page!" Liliruca urged, tapping the paper.
"What in the world is going to happen to Master Bell and Lady Laurier!?" Haruhime gasped, fully invested in the drama.
Liliruca and Haruhime urged Hestia on, practically begging to see what happened next. However, the instant she opened the next page, an even more shocking situation unfolded before their eyes.
『 Nnn... Huh? Where... are we!? 』
『 Could this be... a city of monsters!!? 』
When Bell and Laurier awoke from their dimensional transit, they found themselves in the middle of a well-ordered, bustling cityscape completely unlike the human village from before. That abnormal situation alone was enough to make their heads spin, but an even more bizarre presence had surrounded them.
Goblins, orcs, and races that looked like beastmen but possessed far stronger animalistic traits than any beastman they knew. In addition, monstrous entities they had never once seen in the deepest, darkest floors of the Dungeon were watching them from a distance.
『 Laurier, don't leave my side... 』
『 Right... 』
Gripping the obsidian blade of the Hestia Knife at his hip, Bell kept a hyper-vigilant eye on the monsters surrounding them. Behind him, Laurier also drew her beloved sword, displaying enough tactical vigilance to protect herself without needlessly provoking the other side.
"Hey, I said it was rushed, but this takes the cake. Are these books always like this?" Hestia muttered, thoroughly confused by the sudden fantasy-adventure turn.
"No, this time seems a bit special, I suppose..." Liliruca mused, rubbing her chin. "None of the previous books have had such wild, out-of-nowhere plot developments. They usually just focus on... anatomy."
"But there's something about these monsters they've drawn," Haruhime pointed out, her voice dropping to a whisper. "They feel different from the ones we usually fight in the Dungeon. It gives off the same impression as Lady Wiene and the other Xenos."
Hearing Haruhime's words, Liliruca and Hestia froze, falling deep into thought.
It was true; the way these monsters were illustrated—neither attacking mindlessly nor baring their fangs in feral hostility—was highly reminiscent of the Xenos. More than anything, it was their eyes. The eyes of the monsters surrounding Bell and Laurier were drawn with clear, undeniable intelligence and social curiosity.
"Goddess Hestia, please turn to the next page."
Liliruca's tone was uncharacteristically serious. The comedic atmosphere had vanished from the room, replaced by a sudden, icy chill.
"There's a possibility that the author of this book knows about the Xenos," Liliruca whispered, her mind racing through the catastrophic political implications. "If the adventurers who read this learn about their existence through this story... If we handle this poorly, it might birth a second Ikelos Familia. The Guild could launch an inquisition."
"...Yeah, you're right."
Hestia's expression instantly hardened into that of a true deity. It was hard to believe she was the same goddess who had been rolling her eyes back over "Bell's marriage" just moments ago; a genuine, heavy sense of crisis now dwelled in her gaze. Driven by that sense of urgency and the need to protect their secret, Hestia turned to the next page.
『 Something—is coming!! 』
Beyond Bell's line of sight, from the very depths of the monstrous crowd, the creeping edge of an incredibly dense, ominous aura began to seep through the panels. The artwork darkened dramatically. The moment he noticed it, Bell reflexively drew the Hestia Knife with a sharp metallic schwing, dropping into a low, combat-ready stance.
In a flash, the surrounding monsters began to murmur and shift. Was their stirring born of fear, hostility, or warning? A volatile, explosive tension crackled between Bell and the monsters, beautifully rendered by the artist's heavy line work.
Laurier gripped her sword tightly behind Bell's back, still careful not to provoke them, yet tensing her body so she could move at a moment's notice. However, in the very next moment, that suffocating tension dissipated completely, snapping like a cut thread.
It wasn't that Bell had lowered his weapon. Nor had Laurier backed down.
Simply put, the monsters' sense of caution had vanished. It was as if they realized that something they placed their absolute, unquestioning trust in had finally arrived on the scene.
『 Just what in the world...!? 』
The group of monsters directly in front of the wary Bell parted to the left and right, bowing their heads respectfully. From the shadowy depths of their ranks, the supreme entity emerged.
A perfectly round, blue slime suddenly popped out.
『 Hey there, hello! I'm Rimuru. I'm not a bad slime, you know? 』
"A slime?" x3
At the appearance of this utterly derpy, jiggly, and adorable creature acting as the grand climax to all that intense narrative buildup, Hestia, Liliruca, and Haruhime all tilted their heads in unison, the profound tension leaving their bodies in a massive wave of sheer anticlimax.
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