When I sat atop Buzzard, everything felt right. Without much room to exercise him, I hadn't spent much time with him the past couple of days, and it showed. I was a wreck without him.
Buzzard and I led the legion I was about to hand over to Sanna. He loved walking ahead of everyone else. His independent streak was strong, and his desire to be left alone by everyone but me was mutual most of the time.
We marched for days. As painful as it was, I avoided Cisco. We said a meaningful goodbye after I woke from hibernation. That was the best I could ask for. Prolonging the goodbye even more would only prolong our suffering. At least that's what I kept telling myself.
On paper, I had strict orders to steer clear of Cisco. It would be easy to circumvent that rule, but if I was caught my reputation would be tarnished. I'd go back to being seen as a lovesick teenager who lacked the ability for independent thought.
That insult would linger with me for years.
At least I had Buzzard. My mind circled back to the two nights we spent together traveling from the palace to Quantum Fortress. I could still feel the weight of Cisco's arm around my shoulders as I laid in my cot at the end of the day. And with nothing to distract me but the rustling leaves in the trees that ushered us toward Bedrock Fortress, my mind circled back to him often. Maybe I'd sleep in the stables with Buzzard just so I wouldn't feel so alone at night.
Bedrock Fortress was stationed at the Calidonican edge of a passage through the mountains between Calidonica and Espazota. When we arrived, the fortress was eerily quiet. I motioned for my legion to wait outside as I passed through the gate alone. The gate rose, allowing me to pass beneath it. It seemed to know who I was and that I had been invited there.
Sanna trotted after me and walked into the fortress alongside me.
"Something tells me this is a trap," Sanna said under her breath.
"I agree. But if anyone can survive springing a trap, it's me." I glanced over my shoulder to see Sanna's concern barely concealed by her tough exterior.
The courtyard of the fortress was completely empty — it was as if it had been abandoned. But when I looked up into the ramparts I saw archers stationed along the walls and the top of the fortress, their arrows aimed at me.
"Stay back!" I called over my shoulder, but that only made Sanna gallop toward me. As the words left my mouth an arrow sunk between the segments of my armor. It was a near-impossible feat, but another arrow stuck me between the segments of my armor. It was the second arrow that made my vision go black. I awoke on the ground with a sharp pain in my head that faded just as quickly as it had occurred. However I needed to remove the arrows from my body.
Buzzard nuzzled his nose into my neck, a comfort no one else would offer me as I ripped the arrows from my abdomen. A shriek tore from my throat as I pulled them out, but the pain subsided almost instantly. This was one of those instances where many would say I was a monster that needed to be taken out. Resilience unnerved people, especially when you were as powerful as I was.
By the time I stood, Baruuk stood just in front of me. I forced myself not to cower. I would not let him see me or any of my soldiers defer to him so easily. There were dozens of arrows nocked and aimed at my vulnerable points. I could catch most of them midflight with my mind, but it would distract me from the villain before me.
"Try anything and they'll kill you," Baruuk said, his words calm but with weight behind them.
Sanna had not stayed back, as I'd ordered her, and more of my legion came flooding into the fortress's courtyard. Many drew short as they caught sight of Baruuk, though their swords were still drawn.
"What is the meaning of this?" I asked, forcing my voice not to shake. Baruuk could kill me right then and there, but there were far worse punishments than death.
A familiar voice, muffled by a gag, grunted from behind me. I whipped my head around to see Cisco being dragged along by Baruuk's soldiers, his hands bound behind his back and his mouth gagged. He struggled against his captors. Several soldiers laid prostrate in his wake. He must have taken several out, even bound and gagged, as they dragged him out of his car.
My soldiers closed ranks around me, but to defy the king would be treason. They weren't up to the task of rebelling against him — not yet. Maybe whatever happened next would convince them, whether I was around to lead them or if I died a martyr. My pulse quickened as the image of my head separated from my body wracked me with fear, but I refused to let Baruuk see me cower.
"Let it be known that my protege and the Crown Prince of Espazota conspired to overthrow me, and now they will pay the price." Baruuk's gaze darkened. His eyes settled back on me.
Cisco stood beside me, defiant despite being bound. He didn't beg for mercy. The look in his eyes was lethal. I gave Baruuk a lot of credit for not wavering. Cisco's courage and resolve strengthened me. I would not falter. Neither of us would.
"As punishment," he said to the gathering crowd, then narrowed his gaze on the two of us, "they will fight to the death."
"What?" I gasped. It defied logic to put an enemy prince's life in danger — not unless Baruuk was prepared to fight a war on two borders — until I thought more about it.
I had betrayed Baruuk. I had chosen my freedom, and Cisco. That wasn't a choice Baruuk wanted me to make. He wanted me dependent on him and complacent. He had worked so hard to erode my faith in myself, and my faith in Cisco.
But Cisco had shown me what true compassion was. It wasn't control, it was a willingness to walk away if that was what was best. Compassion didn't make you question everything about yourself. Instead, it made you comfortable to be your sloppy, disastrous self, out loud and in your loved one's face. Baruuk's version of compassion came at a price while Cisco asked nothing of me. We offered each other our best because we wanted to, not because we were coerced.
"If you kill the prince, Lura, you will survive to live another day, and survive to overthrow me without the assistance of anyone else." While he delivered brutal news, his tone was warm and gentle, like a caress. My treacherous heart focused on his last words — that I would survive to overthrow him. It sounded like he wanted that — that he believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself.
Do not let his faith in you disarm you, I told myself.
"You will be queen one day." He lifted his chin, though he was too short to look down at me. His face contorted, looking like the gruesome face of the monster hiding under your bed. "But you will have to claw your way to the top, bit by bloody bit." Turning to the soldiers surrounding him, he exclaimed, "If Prince Cisco-Zabriel is victorious, Lura will have paid for her crimes in total. The prince will return to Espazota unharmed, and everything that Lura holds dear will be protected."
I read the subtext: he would release Hetty if I died at Cisco's hands.
"Make it a fair fight," Baruuk said just to me. "No using your powers. If you lose, but you want Hetty to survive, you'll let yourself die rather than heal yourself."
I'd never felt such an immediate flood of relief. "If I die in battle, you'll free Hetty?"
I tried not to let Baruuk see how eager I was for that to be a reality. I had lived nineteen years of life basking in the daylight. If Hetty spent just as much time above ground after I died, all would be right. But tears still stung the corners of my eyes. After so long of being blown around by every gust of wind Baruuk sent my way, I had finally found direction. I had found clarity. I knew who I was and what I was capable of. Why did my life have to end right then?
"May the best soldier win," Baruuk said, stepping out of the line of fire as his soldiers cut Cisco free.
Cisco shook his wrists out, but that was his only sign of discomfort. When he faced me, he showed no signs of sympathy. From head to toe, he dripped with lethal energy. Someone handed him a sword and he tested its weight in his hand.
"Are you ready to die?" Cisco asked, a wicked grin shattering his cool facade. Baruuk's soldiers unstrapped my armor. They must not have wanted either of us to have an advantage over the other, and Cisco was not wearing armor.
I drew my own sword, which was lighter than Cisco's but just as deadly. "I could ask you the same."
Cisco had seen this version of me many times — the look of an animal focused on its prey — but it had never been directed at him. Even when I attacked him back at Quantum Fortress, I suspected I looked more deranged and bedragled than anything. But Cisco was leveling me with that same stare.
We circled each other, our gaze never flickering from the other. His dark brows arched down, the sharp edge of his stubbled jaw ticked. His entire body was covered in muscles that swelled as the waves of the sea. His gait was steady. Everything about him screamed danger.
"So it's come to this?" Cisco asked as his sword arced downward, beginning the battle with a powerful blow. I parried, spinning out of his reach with minimal effort.
Based on his size and brute strength alone, Cisco could best me in hand-to-hand combat, and the force that drove the blows of his sword was almost impossible for someone of my stature to beat, no matter how much I practiced.
There was no way I'd beat Cisco in a sword fight. If Cisco chose to, he could kill me after a few short minutes of struggle, if that.
But I did not feel a single pang of fear as I fought him. Even as our blows quickened, he showed restraint. Someone unfamiliar with his fighting style would not notice that he was holding back, but I had sparred with him since we were using wooden swords. I had rarely beaten Cisco in a swordfight. But I was slowly gaining the upperhand then.
"I thought we were a team!" Cisco yelled as he struck an especially powerful blow that knocked me backward. I didn't lose my footing though, instead spinning into an attack from another angle.
Cisco seemed to be seething with anger, and that is what unsettled me. His words were exactly what he would say if he believed I'd actually kill him. How could he not know that I could never take his life?
"You used me to take the throne and now you'll dispose of me when I'm no longer useful?"
Just as he said it, his eye twitched in an almost imperceptible wink. A soft smile flicked across his face for just a moment. That smile said there were secrets we shared that no one would ever know, and that the truth of this battle was one of them. The thrill his silent communication gave me sent me swinging several forceful blows, always meeting his own sword. As he blocked my attack, his glare returned. My attack seemed to surprise him, and I drove him back several paces.
"Finish him!" the soldiers around us screamed. Their support bolstered me, but I was stalling the eventuality of this fight. I didn't want to cause Cisco anymore pain, and it was clear to see that he didn't want to kill me either.
Cisco inclined his chin. "You heard them," he growled under his breath. "Finish me."
It was a challenge. Even before the fight began, I could see it in his eyes — he had placed his life wholly in my hands. His fate was mine to choose. I would decide whether he lived or died.
This realization hit me so violently that I faltered and Cisco was able to slice me on the thigh. He grimaced and looked away, as if he couldn't look me in the eyes knowing what he'd just done. His grief knocked him off balance, and both of us fell back to a safe distance, circling each other once again.
Cisco was so unwilling to control me, and so unwilling to hurt me, that he didn't even try to control the outcome of his life. His love for me came into full clarity then. His feelings for me weren't a passing attraction. I wasn't just one of many girls he flirted with. Our relationship had transcended friendship long ago, I just hadn't seen it until that moment.
Cisco would always be caught between his duty as crown prince and his own desires, but at that moment, he was choosing me. No matter who he allied with, even my sworn enemy, our devotion to each other ran deeper.
I could imagine how painful it was to have to choose between your duty to society at large and those who were so important to you they were woven into your soul. But I knew then that Cisco's heart would define him as a ruler. His father wanted him to be the best king Espazota had ever seen, and he just might become that — not because he would walk the path his father had set before him, but because his mother had raised him to lead with compassion.
I didn't know who I would be without Cisco's friendship for sure, but I knew I would be far more jaded. My faith in humanity would be minimal, and I would feel far less human. Cisco tethered me to my humanity. Even at moments when my actions tore me violently away from my humanity, his kindness, his humor, his belief in me, kept me from losing myself completely.
That made what I had to do that much harder.
I dove back into the fight, ramming my sword into Cisco's, but I would no longer aim my blows at his sword. This time, I was determined to wound him. Our swords clashed and we both put equal pressure into it.
Our faces close, his guard dropped, and he looked at me as if I were a strange, mystical beast that struck him with both wonder and fear. I'd inspired awe and fear in many over the years, but this was different. This was the look of someone who saw the secret places within me and still believed that my existence was a miracle.
"You're stunning when you've decided to kill," he said, a smile playing on his lips.
His words took me off guard, which he used to his advantage. He pushed me several steps backward. He landed another blow that brought us close together. He couldn't mean that. Because that would mean that at my ugliest moment, he thought there was something beautiful about me.
"You're a fool," I grunted.
Cisco shook his head. "Believing in you is not foolish."
My eyes burned, his words a soothing balm on my wounded heart. "Forgive me, Cisco," I breathed. "This will only hurt for a moment."
His eyes darkened, and he nodded slowly, conveying that he understood my meaning.
After a few quick moves, I slashed Cisco's hand, and he dropped his sword. For a moment, panic overtook him, and his jaw slackened. The crowd cheered for me and jeered Cisco. I nodded silently, and hoped my intent stare communicated that he didn't need to be afraid. As I plunged toward him, his glare hardened, and without hesitation, I ran him through.
Cisco took a sharp breath in, his eyes widening. He fell to his knees with my sword still embedded in his abdomen. I wanted so desperately to comfort him, to catch him as he fell and to cradle his head in my lap as life drained from his body. Instead, I shoved him backward with the sole of my boot, freeing my sword and toppling him onto the ground.
I prowled toward him. His eyes stared vacantly into the sky. He was close to death, but I could still feel his heartbeat from the senses my power of healing gave me. I knelt beside him, my knees soaked in his blood, and placed my hand on his cheek.
The touch of my hand drew his attention back to the present — I could see his mind was already making peace with fading into nonexistence. His brown eyes stared into mine and his mouth fell open. He fought for every word that followed.
"I always knew... you would be... my undoing," he said, a painful smile that spoke of untold grief shuttering across his face.
"I never knew you would be mine," I said, before crushing my lips to his.
Kissing Cisco confirmed what Baruuk and many of our soldiers already believed — that I was a lovesick fool, but that I would put my power above all else. This would go a long way in shaping the public's perception of me. It also made me look sadistic — that I would taunt my discarded lover with a kiss after choosing my power over him.
But when Cisco's fingers laced through my hair and his lips moved against mine, I remembered that this was a kiss, not just a strategy. I was kissing my love for the first time. For a moment I gave into the warmth that washed over me we kissed.
For a moment I allowed myself to kiss him back. I imagined that we had not just finished a fight to the death, but that we were by the lake back in Malosiaga. We had swum all afternoon, until our fingertips wrinkled and the weight of our bodies on land felt heavy. Cisco laid on the sand, and I knelt over him. In the vision, I had teased him with the hope of the kiss all afternoon, and even as I inched closer to his face, I left him wondering whether it would happen or not.
Then, when neither of us could resist the attraction anymore, I lowered my lips to his, and on a lazy summer day, we shared our first kiss.
I savored the vision, but the roar of the crowd surrounding us, cheering their fearless Grand General on, could not allow me to fully immerse myself in the dream. Cisco's lips softened and the hand that had sunk into my thick hair fell away. I drew back to see his eyes closed, his face lifeless, but his expression peaceful, as many looked in death.
I pushed myself to my feet, my knees shaking, hoisted my blood-drenched sword in the air and unleashed a blood-curdling war cry as I stood over Cisco's lifeless body.