"Good kitty." I smiled, my fingers running through soft fur.
(She's so cute.) I thought as a loud purring sound filled the air around me.
I was currently sitting cross‑legged, my back to a tree, my body cooled by the shade of its leaves above me. The sun was high in the sky, and the sound of wooden weapons clashing against each other filled the air. Despite all of this, my focus was elsewhere, to put it mildly.
As for what had managed to get my full attention, well, that would be my new little friend. Lying in my lap, purring happily, was a very cute kitten of all things. It had two tails and mostly black fur, although it had some white patches here and there. According to my investigations, which narrowed down to just asking Great Sage, this adorable little thing was named a twin‑tailed cat, not really the most creative of names i know, but what can you do. Anyway, it a type of feline monster that is quite rare and is said to apparently bring luck to those who come across them. Although Great Sage made it clear that the whole "luck" thing was mainly just a myth.
Anyway, I had gotten myself into this situation through a series of events over the last few days. Mainly, I had fed her, yes, her; Great Sage was able to clarify that for me. Back on topic however, I had been leaving food out ever since I saw her a day or two ago, and eventually she had warmed up to me enough to suddenly walk up out of nowhere and lie in my lap as I was watching the hobgoblins in their training.
(Cuteness overload...) I chuckled as she rubbed her head into my hand happily.
Just then, however, our moment was interrupted when I felt someone approach. "Ahem."
"O‑oh, hey, Hakurou." I said, my face turning red in embarrassment.
Unfortunately, the fuzzball in my lap also noticed him; she seemed to panic before springing off me and dashing into the bushes. (Nooo, kitty, don't go.) I thought with a sad expression, my eyes lingering on where she had gone before I sighed and turned back to my trainer.
"My apologies for interrupting your fun, but it's time for your training." Hakurou mused, an amused glint in his eyes.
"Already? I must have lost track of time." I muttered gloomily.
The tone of my voice made him chuckle as he began to reassure me. "Now now, from what I've seen your new friend will more than likely return later, so there's no need to be so glum."
"Anyway though, like I just said, it's time for your training, young miss." He hummed, gesturing for me to follow him.
"Fine..." I sighed as I stood up.
It had been a bit since my more... physical training had begun with Hakurou and the others. I will admit that this whole experience had definitely helped me, especially in the art of using my skills in actual combat. Of course, I had only been trying for around a day and a half, so I still had a massive amount to properly learn.
Overall though, my training had consisted mainly of sparring, something that I had found a bit nerve‑wracking the first few times. Thankfully, I had gotten somewhat used to things; of course that didn't mean I was any good at it just yet. I wasn't some kind of prodigy or anything, so it made sense that I ended up losing almost one hundred percent of the time. Of course I was trying, and according to Hakurou I was steadily improving, even if I myself didn't see it.
As we walked over to the centre of the field, I couldn't help but wince ever so slightly when I saw Gobta and some of the other hobgoblins lying off to the side after being thoroughly "trained" by Hakurou. (He really doesn't go easy on them, huh.)
(Well, they should be fine and back on their feet in a bit.) I thought, mentally wishing them the best in their recovery. (At least I hope so.)
"Now then." My teacher said, clapping his hands together to get my full, undivided attention. "Can you remind me where we left off last time?"
"You were trying to help me understand my "super phoenix battle mode," as Gobta so annoyingly insists on calling it." I groaned in displeasure.
(I really... really hate that name...) I thought with clear annoyance.
What exactly is my "super phoenix battle mode," you may be asking? Well, it was a name referring to that strange trance like state I entered during that little skirmish of ours. Beyond that though, we don't really know what it is; however, Hakurou was able to make a guess after I explained what it felt like to him. He believes it might have been my phoenix instincts, so to speak. According to him, my race were all know to be great warriors and guardians, battle was simply built into their very DNA. Of course, he himself had never met a phoenix, but he had heard stories. He also believed that it might have something to do with my amnesia temporarily clearing up slightly; however, I didn't actually have amnesia, but I couldn't exactly tell him that.
"Yes, well, whatever you decide to call it is irrelevant right now." Hakurou mused, though it was clear that he, like myself, wasn't very fond of the name.
Anyway, he was quick to move on to the main topic. "Let's start from where we left off last time, shall we?"
"Alright." I nodded, sitting down in front of him, and closing my eyes.
(Welp, here we go again...) I thought, letting out a low breath.
And so I tried, key word was tried. I sat there, eyes closed, as I attempted to tap into that bizarre mindset from before. Honestly though, I call it a "mindset" but I have no real idea what it really was, although I did have a theory. Like Hakurou had suggested before, I believed it had something to do with my phoenix instincts kicking in; however, I believe my old personality also had a part to play. Basically, I think it was a mixture of the two, you could say that i had momentarily relapsed back into my old self in a way, well, a version of my old self that just so happened to be fuelled by the primal instincts of a legendary creature.
Anyway, that's all beside the point. Right now I was focusing on achieving my current task... and failing. Yeah, I was failing miserably. Despite all of this effort, nothing seemed to happen. I sat there for what felt like quite a while, unable to completely clear my consciousness like I had done previously. While I understood what it felt like to have little to no emotion, I was unable to tap into that state of mind again, and I think I know why. Despite knowing it could be useful in combat, I was... well, I was afraid. I didn't want to go back to how I was before; I has grown to rather like my current self as well as my ability to feel, so I was afraid of becoming hollow and empty again. It was a fear that I didn't want to admit out loud, so I didn't.
"Anything?" Hakurou asked when I opened my eyes and looked up at him.
"No." I said, disheartened, shaking my head from side to side. "No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to get into that mindset again."
"Even when we spar, I just can't." I sighed, my shoulders visibly sagging. "When we train I overthink things, I panic, and end up eating dirt as a result."
"True, you do seem to have problems controlling your emotions." Hakurou nodded, not denying my words.
(Considering the fact that I was practically emotionless in my past life, it only makes sense that I'd have a hard time understanding how to properly manage them.) I mumbled internally. (Especially when I'm in a stressful situation, like a sparring session or a battle to the death.)
Despite my thoughts, however, Hakurou wasn't finished and was quick to continue. "However, you are making steady progress and are improving by the day."
"Really? I thought I was doing awful." I said, only half‑jokingly.
He chuckled at that before staring down at me with a steady gaze. "While I will not deny that you have a long way to go, you do not lack in potential."
"Additionally, you don't complain despite my harsh training; your work ethic and desire to improve yourself are quite admirable." He said, his words completely genuine. "Some of my other students should learn from your example."
"Haha... thanks, I appreciate your words." I shifted awkwardly, responding with sheepish expression.
"Anytime, little miss; it is my honour to help in any way I can." He hummed with a nod. We then began to just talk for a moment about various unrelated things.
(Unfortunately, while I am happy about the praise I don't exactly have time to improve at a slow pace, considering the orcs and all that.) I thought as we chatted.
(Maybe it might help if I spar with a wider range of people? It could probably help me improve faster.)
That thought would have surprised me a few days ago, but now? Now I was adjusting, to put it simply. I was far more talkative than I had been before, far more open to speaking with others. I wasn't as opposed to social interaction or the prospect of asking for help anymore; I still didn't like being the centre of attention and preferred to do things myself if at all possible, but I was definitely starting to open up.
"Anyway, while we're having a quick breather, I suppose I should ask." Hakurou suddenly said, causing me to look at him curiously. "Have you decided on a weapon yet?"
"Unfortunately I have not." I shook my head slightly. "Although not for lack of trying, of course."
(There are just so many options...) I sighed internally. Simply put, Hakurou had suggested I look for something that suited me better after he noticed that I didn't have much compatibility with the sword.
"Sorry it's taking me so long, by the way."
"That's quite alright; after all, a weapon is a partner and should not define a fighting style but flow with it." He mused reassuringly.
"I guess that makes sense." I muttered in contemplation
I had actually tried quite a few, but none of them really felt right to me. I mean, sure, I had been using several different ones so far, and Hakurou had said that it wouldn't hurt to get a feel for multiple weapons, but none of the ones I'd tried so far had really resonated with me. I had hoped that my Wind Speaker skill would help somewhat, but so far it hadn't. I would occasionally feel a slight pull, so to speak, but nothing all that concrete.
Thankfully I wouldn't have to figure out how to make a weapon personally, since Kurobe had already promised to help in that regard, alongside Kaijin of course. On some level I didn't want to rely on them; that little voice in the back of my head was quite stubborn. Despite this though, as previously mentioned, as I continued to interact with others my perspective continued to change. I didn't mind asking for help as much when I needed it anymore.
"Well, no matter what you end up deciding on, just make sure it resonates with you." Hakurou said after a moment of silence.
"What do you mean it should 'resonate' with me?" I asked, confused.
In response, he simply smiled mysteriously without answering, something that caused me to grumble under my breath as I thought. (Why are you being so cryptic?)
"Now then, I think that's enough standing around, don't you?" Hakurou mused, gesturing for me to get up.
"Alright…"