Calamity/binary self
That which issues
From the Heart alone,
Will bend the Hearts of others
To your Own.
Combatants remaining: ERROR
I see my Discourse leaves you cold;
Dear Kids, I do not take Offense;
Recall: The Devil, he is old,
Grow old yourselves, and he'll make sense!
When we return from the Coliseum, the school is still the same. Is this how it is supposed to be? I should be the last person here, along with my Servant. Rin is nothing but an anomaly, so she would not count. We are approached by Rin, as soon as she spots us.
"Haru, you made it!" She hugs me, to congratulate me (and Saber) on the victory. I notice now, this school is too quiet.
"What happened?" I ask Rin. She has been here while we fought Leo and Gawain, so she should have noticed anything that may have changed.
"All the NPC disappeared. Well, the war has ended," Rin explains. So, this is how it is supposed to be?
"And, what to do now?" Saber's gaze wanders to the door to the Coliseum. This is the only place we could go now, right? Even though we just came from there. But, this is not real life, but a simulation run by the Moon Cell's core so it is possible that it will lead elsewhere now. "Are you ready?" I ask Saber. We do not know what may happen, and we may be separated any moment. In return, Saber holds my hand. This is the first time she ever did this…
"Are you?" I nod at her, and strengthen my grip on her hand. Holding her hand makes me feel safer, I am not as afraid of what may be coming at us.
With that, we open the door again to step in.
What we find, reminds me of when got into this mess of a tournament. It may even be the very same path that I walked back then, the only difference being that I am fine. I do not feel dizzy or sick, and I am not alone.
The path feels endlessly long, supported by the fact that every metre looks just like the last one—you would never be able to see whether you move forward or stay in the same spot, especially since the door back to the school has vanished as we went through.
Keeping going, the path is now illuminated and at the end of it, I find myself in a room that is all too familiar—this is where I met Saber. It feels nostalgic to get back here, and never would I have imagined to see this room again. This room, where I almost died, but was saved by my own will to live on. And Saber, who decided at that moment to fight for me and protect me.
"This is the beginning room," comments Rin. So, every Master has been here at their start. "This is… where I met Lancer." I wonder if Rin went through the same as I did, but it feels like the wrong time to ask.
"Someone's there," says Saber, glaring at the darkness. "Come out, coward!" Who could still be here? Maybe it is some sort of NPC to guide the winner or—
Out of the darkness, a boy materialises. His spiky, red hair is the same colour as mine, his eyes are the very same moonish gold as mine. Our height is almost the same, he is just a slight bit taller. The same expression decorates his face, the one Rin would call bland.
"Nice to meet you… or, well, me," he says, holding up his right hand. This… cannot be, right?
"You are me," I state. There is no other way, the similarities cannot be a mere coincidence. Neither the fact that he is still around.
"Your Mind," he corrects me. "And you are my Soul."
Both, Saber and Rin look back and forth between me and Haru—the other one—possibly to take in all our similar features.
"Why are you male when Haru is female ?" Rin seems the most observant. But now that she asks this… Really, why? What am I? He softly chuckles.
"That really seems weird, does it not? Well… as you probably know, our Body broke, for the most part. Mind and Soul, so, me and you, both remember the most distinct features, so we inhabited NPC bodies that were similar enough. For you, it was a female. For me, it was a male," he explains. How come he knows more about our state than I do?
"What am I, then? In… real life," I ask. He smiles at me softly, and I can feel he really is me. He would not fight or hurt me, for sure. That is just who we are.
"A girl. The Soul cares about what feels right, so it chose a female body. The Mind… takes the body that would objectively be advantageous. And, that was this body. Physically speaking, it is stronger. That was enough, it seems." In the end, that would make me the truer version, I suppose.
"How do you know all that?" Rin asks him. There are so many questions we could ask Haru, he seems so knowledgeable about everything. Is that really me ? Maybe it is because he is the Mind.
"I am the Mind, so I have the memories of… our life. Rani helped me with some things, though. I really did not know anything about the Moon Cell when I started, but for that… well, let us say, I had a good teacher." So, he was the one who saved Rani, the one she talked about. She was so loyal to him, maybe she felt the same about him that Rin does about me?
"How… was our life?" I have to ask this. There is no other chance for me to ever find out, possibly. And if he knows, I trust him to tell me. Haru closes his eyes, then looks up.
"We are an only child, born to two loving parents. Nothing special about them or us, but… they loved us. However, we are sick. Our brain is infected with… some sort of disorder. Nothing much was known, and there was barely any progress on a cure. It would lock our access to memories and at the same time this would stress the brain so much, that in the long run, it would be lethal.
Our parents and we, we all got it. No one even knew how it spreads, it was too rare for most renowned doctors to care. All but one—Twice H. Pieceman. He made progress, but one day he just vanished. We were just a little child, back then. Our parents argued a lot, for years, but in the end, they decided to put us to cold sleep when we were 17.
It would prevent us from dying, and with Dr. Pieceman gone, there was no hope for a cure to save our life. This meant hope. It was about 10 years ago, but I do not think we have aged. The Moon Cell made some sort of backup copy of our conscience, so the cold sleep would not harm us. That is about all," he concludes.
"So, I… we are alive?" He nods.
"More or less. That does not change that we should not exist here, though. We did not get here naturally, the Moon Cell's core should delete us when we get into it. There is some time left, possibly enough to make at least some sort of wish come true… But that is it. No guarantee we would see it in this decade or century ourselves," he states, matter-of-factly.
"What do you think?" I ask Saber, and Rin. We have no proof that he is really me, or my Mind. But what other explanation is there for his existence?
"He definitely feels like you, Master. I don't doubt it's you one bit," admits Saber, though she does not seem to like that idea.
"The similarities can't be some coincidence. Though I feel like he's somewhat better looking than you." Thanks, Rin. That is what worried me, I think, ironically.
"What are you here for? I mean…" But I do not have to finish. As he is me, and I am him, he knows what I am getting at.
"Yes, one of us has to disappear. I was asked to be the one to get to the Moon Cell, thus I fought. Just like you, I had to kill several Servants, and with them their Masters and their hopes and dreams. I wish I would not have had to but… There is no other way. I need to be the one to make a wish, to help the world progress. I will get rid of this brain disorder." Haru seems determined. But this means…
"We will have to fight?" I ask, saddened. How could I fight myself? He nods, apologetically.
"I fear we do… or rather, our Servants. I am sorry, really." His Servant materialises behind him. On first glance, I know it is a Saber.
Blonde hair, a blue dress decorated with silver armour, a holy sword in her hand and the very same eyes I grew to love. This… cannot be.
Saber drops Clarent in shock. "Father…? How…"
"So we meet again, Mordred," Arturia smiles softly.
This is the king who took my knight's life, the one who distressed her more than anything. Any, just any other opponent would have been fine. But this? Mordred should not have to face this nightmare again.
"I can't fight you," states Mordred. I can see she is on the verge of crying. I know she does not want to repeat the same rebellion as she once did, especially not against her father. Why must fate be so cruel?
"There is no helping it. Prepare," says Arturia, before charging it. Mordred grits her teeth, but grips her sword fast enough to protect herself against the attack. "Your reflexes are as good as always," comments Arturia.
"I don't want praise from you," barks Mordred, pushing Arturia back, who still lands on her feet. Then, she charges right back in, Clarent clashing with Excalibur.
The King of Knights fighting the Knight of Treachery—father against son. They both are about the same in strength, I am not sure any of them could win.
"Do we not…?" I ask Haru, who shakes his head.
"No, I think the two of them need to settle this." I bite my lip. I do not like the idea of not to support Mordred, but on the other hand, this is something between the two of them. Haru is right, we should not interfere.
"What if you lose?" He chuckles.
"Then the rebellion wins over the ideals, I suppose."
"Why are you so perfect?!" shouts Mordred, as yet another strike of her was easily deflected. She has not laid a single scratch on even the armour of her opponent, so very unlikely for her.
"I am far from perfect, Mordred. Why do you fight so uncovered?" Another swift strike from Excalibur, but Mordred jumps above it and tries to strike Arturia from above, who jumps back.
"Why do you hide behind armour, father?!" Mordred bites back, halting her movements.
"As you wish," says Arturia, as she dematerialises her armour, leaving her just in a blue dress. She is pretty in her own way, but not as striking as Mordred, I notice. "Now we are even." And again, Arturia tries to strike Mordred, who was less than a second too slow, but still had the side of her stomach cut. Not a deep wound, but bleeding nonetheless.
"This was the first time you called me your equal," Mordred sobs. She is hiding her face, looking down as she grips her wound, hiding her tears. Even though this was nothing but a small observation for Arturia, for her, Mordred, it means so much more.
"I have always seen you as a skilled swordsman," Arturia says. She is still observant, but she does not seem to want to strike an opponent who is on the ground. A knight of chivalry, apparently.
"Then why… Why did you not give me the crown?!" Mordred shouts at her. This is a question that has always bothered her, and now is probably the only time she could ask this.
"The crown means pain and suffering. Giving yourself up for your people, and still ending in ruin. I was too young myself when I got it, I would not burden anyone else with this. At the same time… you did not have the capacity of a king. Just like I did not."
This is unexpected. The great king of Britain found herself unfitting for the crown all along? No legend was told about her in this way. She was seen as a role model of a king, never as someone who regrets it.
"You're the perfect king," Mordred states stubbornly.
"That is not true. I have committed many mistakes, you should know this the best, Mordred. Even without your rebellion, my kingdom was crumbling. I could not have saved it."
Arturia drops her sword.
"We were wrong?" asks Haru. Arturia nods at him.
"There is a reason I answered your summoning, and a reason Mordred answered hers. We are alike," she says, softly. Haru sighs, looking at me tending to Saber's wound, now that it seems they stopped fighting.
"Maybe I have lost my way. I do not possess the same strength as she does, I am not… this kind."
"Neither am I," says Arturia.
"Haru! We surrender," he tells me. This easily…?
"But, why?" I cannot help but ask. He seemed so determined about his goal and wish. He shrugs, smiling softly.
"I trust you more than myself to make the right decision, I guess. I have no guts to trust," he says. "So, just end this," he turns to Mordred, whose eyes widen in shock.
"I… I can't possibly kill you. I just can't," says Mordred, looking at her father. "I shouldn't… This is wrong," she cries. Arturia shakes her head and approaches her.
"It is fine, I assure you. This is your way, your kingdom." She hugs Mordred. "You have grown up so well since I last saw you. I think that, at this point, you are more fit to be a king than I ever was."
Even I can feel that she speaks the truth.
"Why… didn't you accept me back then?" Mordred sobs. "Everything could've turned out better."
"I could not, because I was faulted. I never despised you, as you thought. Had I been more considerate, and a better father… Maybe you could have become a king surpassing me and saved the country."
"There's no way," whispers Mordred, barely audible for anyone but herself and Arturia… and me, since I am close to her. "Father was and always will be flawless," she smiles.
I am glad the two of them could make up, but this still leaves one thing to do. No matter how painful it is—Mordred must kill Arturia.
"I didn't think I'd use my Noble Phantasm ever," she says, almost smiling. Arturia smiles at her as well.
"Who else would it be more fitting to meet than me?"
With that, Mordred raises her sword, concentrating a high amount of energy on it. A black light with red lightning engulfs the whole blade.
"Rebellion against my beautiful father…" Mordred chants, before looking, probably last time at her father, Arturia, who smiles at her.
"I am proud of your growth, and proud of you," Arturia says.
"Clarent Blood Arthur!" Mordred shouts, bringing her sword down at Arturia. The dark light is too blinding for me to see anything, but when my vision is back, Arturia is gone and only Haru, as a buggy mess, is left.
"You won," he says. "Will you accept my memories?" This is probably some sort of NPC or mechanism overtaking already.
I shake my head. "No, those memories are yours, not mine. I will only take the Mind."
His remaining frame disappears, being sucked into my chest. I feel dizzy for a while, but Rin supports my stance.
"Are you all right?" she asks me, and I nod.
"What about you, Mordred?" I completely forget about calling her by her class' name, but at this point I feel like I can drop this anyway. Now Rin knows her identity as well, it is not a secret to keep anymore. Mordred wipes her teeth.
"Am fine. Let's move on," she says.
Now, we will have to reach the Moon Cell's core—and trust that Haru was right to entrust this to me, and Mordred.