"No."
No? What did this "no" mean? I come to him, ready for anything, almost begging on my knees, and he — he just refuses. I am overwhelmed with a mix of bewilderment, hurt, and even shame, as if I am standing naked before him and he is turning away. Why? Why did he say "no"?
"Hey, man. What does this "no" mean? The girl is ready to give herself to you right here. And you are refusing her for some reason?" his friend won't let it go. His words are crude, but I am almost glad he asks this question.
"The truth is, you are no longer interesting to me. I promised that I would not touch you, and I am doing just that," Ivan answers me, ignoring his friend.
"Since when are you so righteous? I said that I wanted to change my wish or negotiate other terms," I try to object, but my voice trembles, giving away my confusion, my pain.
"No. I will not repeat myself," he flatly refuses.
"What changed? Why don't you want me anymore?" I blurt out.
"You ruined everything yourself. You came here thinking that you could decide everything as it is convenient for you. But I am not a toy, Katrin. And I am not your tool for manipulation," his words are sharp, and I stand there, feeling the ground slip from under my feet. Everything I planned, everything I hoped for, is crumbling in one moment. And I don't know what to do next.
"I am just that kind of person. If a girl is ready to throw herself at me, then I don't want her anymore. I love to cause pain and watch how others suffer," Ivan approaches me, his voice is quiet, but every word hits my nerves like a hammer. His disgusting hand grabs my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. They are cold, empty, as if there is nothing human in them.
"I like to watch how you suffer because you cannot protect him, and this gives me more pleasure than if I had fucked you," the guy laughs.
I want to cry, everything inside me shrinks, as if I have fallen into a trap from which there is no escape. I could not negotiate with him, and now he wants to cause even more pain by harming him. I take a step back and break free from his hand, feeling my body tremble with fear and despair.
"I will give you a month, and then I will come for him," his words sound like a sentence.
"Why a month?" I ask, not understanding his sinister plans.
"There are a few reasons for this. First, I will be busy all this time. Business, you understand yourself," he shrugs, and by his smirk, I understand that he is involved in something illegal. I could report him, but it would not help, it would only aggravate the situation.
"Secondly, I want to see how you will suffer all this time, knowing that I am nearby and will soon destroy your happiness," Ivan laughs even more, and this laughter is like poison, corroding my soul. I want to die from the grief that has fallen upon me.
"Don't even think that you will be able to hide from me with him. I will find you, and then it will not end with an ordinary beating, but with his death. I am warning you right away."
He is right. He has many connections, and I know it. I know that he is a dangerous person, and yet I continued to be friends with him. And this is how it ended for me. I stand there, feeling the world around me collapsing. A month. Just a month. And what can I do in this time? Run? Hide? But he will find us. Inside, everything screams from pain and fear, but I know that I must come up with something. I cannot let him destroy everything we have. But how? How to stop someone who enjoys others' suffering?
"Can I somehow prevent this? I will do everything you ask."
"You are already doing it. Looking at your face, I am already getting pleasure from my plan. So no, you will not make me refuse this in any way. He is in for a good beating, and it will happen. And you know the approximate time when it will be."
I understand that I will not be able to do anything and am only embarrassing myself in front of him and his friends.
"I am leaving," turning around, I head to the exit, feeling my legs giving way, and a lump of despair tightening in my chest.
"Where are you going? What about our wishes? We can fulfill yours, too, if you fulfill ours!" I hear from his friends behind my back.
I literally run out into the street, trying to catch my breath, but I fail. But I know that I must be strong. For him. For us. Because if I give up, then Ivan will win. And I cannot let him win.
We are doomed. Those are exactly the thoughts in my head. Neither law enforcement nor Grandpa Vi will ever help us. We are alone against Ivan and his gang. I don't know what to do and how to explain to Max why I went to that jerk. But I don't want to think anymore. I want to cry from the despair in which I find myself.
Calling a taxi, I light a cigarette, trying to find a way out of this dead end. But my thoughts are tangled, as if I am wandering through a maze where all roads invariably lead back to him. I don't even have much time to smoke and think — the car arrives.
I am driving home and crying. Finally, I can let go of the tears — after all, on the street, where Ivan and his gang could have been watching me, I did not want to show my weakness. Tears flow down my cheeks, and I do not try to stop them. Everything I feel is fear, pain, and hopelessness. We are in a trap, and I don't know how to get out. But somewhere deep inside, through all this horror, a faint hope smolders. The hope that I will be able to come up with something. I will be able to protect him. Because if I give up — everything will be over. And I cannot let this happen.
Going up to the apartment, I feel the oppression rolling in stronger and stronger. Every step up the stairs is difficult, as if an invisible burden is hanging on my shoulders, becoming heavier with every step. I know that Max is home and waiting for my return, but I hope he is still asleep, and I will be able to lie that I went nowhere. But who am I kidding? He will figure me out in the first couple of minutes.
I open the door and enter the apartment. My love is standing in the kitchen. Yes, I love him, even though I don't want to admit it even to myself. He is the most precious person to me, and that is precisely why I want to protect him from Ivan and his pack of hyenas.
I think I'm in trouble.
Maxim slowly turns to me with a mug of water in his hands. It looks like he just woke up and came to the kitchen to have a drink.
"Where were you?" in his eyes burns such anger, which I have never seen before. I didn't even think that he was capable of such a thing. I know that this anger is not directed at me, but at the one from whom I have just returned. "You were with him, weren't you?"
I am silent, not finding the words. My heart is beating so loudly that it seems he hears it.
"Answer, Katrin!" he sharply swings and with all his strength throws the mug against the floor. It shatters into small pieces.
This broken mug reminds me of myself. I feel the same — broken after the conversation with Ivan.
I stand, feeling how the tears again approach my eyes, but I cannot allow myself to cry. Not now. I slowly nod, feeling how treacherous tears continue to flow, despite all my attempts to hold them back.
Ivan will not stop. We will have to be ready for anything.