"Silence, please! We are about to announce the results of the Olympiad," the examiner says in a strict voice, rising from her seat.
We all fall silent, waiting for the results to be announced. I feel the tension hanging in the air. The silence in the room is so profound that everything around me becomes blurry and dim, and a heavy, inexplicable sense of foreboding settles in my chest.
The examiner pulls out several test sheets. She holds them with a certain dignity, like a person preparing to deliver a verdict.
"To be honest, I am surprised by the results. Especially by those who scored the highest," she continues, glancing at the paper.
I am not ready for this. In my head, images of success are already forming: classmates patting me on the shoulder, me proudly saying that I have done everything right. But instead, anxiety engulfs me. What if I made a mistake somewhere? What if it was all for nothing? And now I stand there, enduring an inner storm.
"I personally checked all the tests, overseeing the work of other professors, and they all unanimously confirmed that Katrin Kamenskaya is the winner. Congratulations! You somehow managed to solve everything perfectly, which is beyond my understanding. Come forward and collect your award."
The examiner continues to speak, but her words do not reach me. In my head, there is only one thought: I lost. I failed. I lost to a girl who did in half an hour what I couldn't manage in an hour and a half. She really aced the tests without any trickery, as I had suspected.
Resentment washes over me — at myself, my insecurity, my weakness. I could be proud of myself, but instead, I feel only pity. How did she, this girl who seemed to have barely studied the material, beat me? She, with her daring look and carefree behavior — she won! And I... I sit here like a complete idiot.
An intense, burning shame engulfs me. Everything I have done seems empty and foolish. I stand paralyzed, unable to look away. I cannot understand how she manages so easily what has become a total nightmare for me. Why is it so easy for her, while I, despite all my efforts, still fail?
The examiner's words sound like an echo. Katrin stands nearby, light and carefree, as if her victory were inevitable. She doesn't try to hide her joy. I, on the other hand, feel pathetic. I cannot believe I was so foolish to let myself get drawn into her game, into her crazy world where victory is a banality and joy is everything. I feel her victory becoming even more painful for me.
I remain in place like a loser who couldn't handle the most important game of his life. There is something unbridled in her behavior, as if she knows no limits — it is a blow to my self-esteem. I cannot move to congratulate her, feeling completely crushed.
While I try to process my failure, Katrin doesn't hesitate. She is always unpredictable, breaking all conventions of normality with every action. The girl, as always, doesn't hold back her emotions. She runs toward the examiner with wild energy, shouting, skipping happily up the stairs like a child at a party.
"Yes! Yes, I knew it would be like this! Did you see? Did everyone see?! Who's the smartest in the institute?" she shouts like a winner on a podium.
She hugs the examiner and kisses her on the cheek, catching the woman off guard. It seems nothing can stop this girl.
The professor freezes; her eyes widen in shock, her face pales. Her reaction is so delayed that it seems she cannot believe what is happening.
When Katrin finally pulls away from the professor, the woman still cannot figure out how to react. Katrin doesn't notice this; she quickly turns to me, her eyes gleaming, and she smiles even more daringly than before. But Katrin doesn't stop. She doesn't realize how much she has shocked the woman with her behavior. The girl continues to act as if there is nothing strange about hugging people in a fit of joy, kissing them, and behaving like a little girl who has just received her first toy. For her, it is as natural as breathing.
"Thank you," she says, sounding as if she has won not just a test, but an entire battle. The girl is in such a state of ecstasy that she cannot stop, and I stand there, looking at her, unable to even grasp what is happening. It feels like complete absurdity.
She continues to jump and laugh as if the whole world revolves around her. I feel her enjoying this moment, while I stand there, consumed by bitterness and disappointment.
The examiner stands there stunned, not hiding her surprise. It is unexpected, but what can she say? Instead of showing displeasure, she simply freezes with a blank stare, as if she has lost touch with reality. Her face expresses confusion. It is too sudden for her, and she does not expect such unrestrained behavior from a student. It is clear that the woman simply does not expect a student to act so openly and shamelessly. But Katrin is not one to stop just because of someone else's surprise.
Katrin, however, does not intend to stop. She starts rummaging around on the desk as if looking for something important, and everyone around watches her with curiosity. I remain an observer, feeling like an outsider in this spectacle. I don't know when Katrin will finish her antics. She is in no hurry to leave or shut up, and I, naive as I was, thought her performance was over. But no. She always knows how to surprise.
Finally, looking victorious, she finds what she was looking for. She raises the results sheet like a trophy and smiles at me.
"So, you, Nerd, got ninety-three. Study better next time. And I... well, of course, I got a hundred," the girl teases me with her success because she knows I can't do anything about it. "Though they could have added another ten points, it feels a bit low."
I cannot answer. All I feel is disappointment and confusion. My eyes cannot help but notice how the examiner, having taken the sheets, hands her the award with slight regret, hurrying to end this strange moment, and nudges her toward the exit. This results sheet becomes a heavy weight pressing on my chest. I feel another piece of my self-respect slipping away.
And there she is, with the smile of a winner. Completely different, like a bright whirlwind, unbound by reality, capable of laughing, not worrying, not fretting. I hate her for it, but at the same time, I admire her carefree nature, her ability to push through everything without noticing obstacles.
When we step outside, the weight of defeat presses down on my shoulders. Katrin, with the award in her hands, is glowing. Her face is like a bright light bulb, and her joy feels like a knife stabbing into my heart. It is unpleasant for me to watch her radiate such happiness, as if victory for her is something ordinary, just like anything else. For me, however, it is more — it is a defeat that I feel not just in my head, but in my chest, my stomach, in every cell of my body.
I walk beside her, feeling resentment and dissatisfaction, barely noticing what is happening around me.
Suddenly, Katrin stops abruptly, without warning. I bump into her and feel my chest collide with her back. My body recoils, but I don't have time to apologize because she turns around and smiles so brightly. The girl makes a "peace" sign at me. I don't understand what she means and cannot find the strength to grasp her intentions. My thoughts are muddled, and I don't immediately understand her gesture. I think it might be the Roman numeral five, but that is ridiculous.
"That means two," she says with a somewhat arrogant expression, as if I truly don't know what it means, as if I were a complete idiot incapable of understanding even the simplest things. Although, as it turns out, to some extent, that is true.
"Two what?" I don't understand at all what is happening around me.
"Two weeks. That is how long my wish will last."
I don't know what to do with this. My inner irritation and confusion are growing like a snowball. It seems she is constantly playing with me, leading me down a path where I didn't choose the direction but am obliged to follow.
Her words strike me like hammer blows. How is this even possible? She knows I can't refuse, but she keeps pushing, not giving me a single chance to catch my breath. It feels like a trap from which there is no escape. And I can do nothing, and she knows it perfectly well.
"What? How many? Have you lost your mind?" My words sound like a reproach, but they no longer hold any confidence, only confusion and bewilderment.
All I want is to rest quietly, to step away from everything, but Katrin does not allow me to. She has become something of an obsession to me.
"What do you want from me, Katrin?" I am tired of this struggle, feeling how my tolerance for her antics begins to melt away. I am no longer ready to play her games, but I cannot back down either. In her eyes, there is some elusive fire, and I know that once again I will be forced to choose: surrender or step back into her world.
"Nothing special. I just want you to have fun. For us to have fun."
As soon as I hear her words, I understand that she is once again ready to drag me into her world of crazy decisions. A world where the rules change so quickly that I cannot keep up with them, and every one of her decisions can turn into a catastrophe. It is a world that doesn't suit me at all, but her magnetism forces me to stay in it, even despite my attempts to resist.
I look at her with doubt. Have fun? I am almost certain she is about to do something crazy, and it is unlikely to bring me joy. There is not a drop of regret in her eyes, only the cold certainty that I will participate in her game even if I don't want to. What a strange definition of fun she has. I fear that her understanding of fun might turn into a real nightmare that I fall into every time I agree to her terms. Every step she takes feels like playing with fire, and I feel that sooner or later, I will get burned. But I cannot avoid it.
"Don't worry, you can't just study all the time. Sometimes you need to have fun."
"When do we start your fun?" I mentally wish for this to be over faster. I cannot delay the moment when I will have to fall into her web again.
"In a week. You remember, from the 15th to the 29th of October — the autumn break."
The break is supposed to be a time for rest. But no, she is once again imposing conditions that I cannot change.
I cannot hide my displeasure, but she only smiles, as if this is the most natural and understandable plan for her.
"Yes, but you said the fun would be for two weeks. That means I will spend all that time with you."
"Nothing will happen to you. And if you want to study so much, learn to balance."
In any case, I am in her hands. And at this moment, I am no longer sure I will be able to break free.
"But if you are a good boy, listen to me, and we really have fun, I will give you a gift."
I almost choked on her words. A gift? What has she come up with this time? I am already bracing myself for something completely unexpected, but I hold on, trying not to let her see my confusion. Everything she says is wrapped in promises that always turn into some strange game for me in the end.
"What gift? What are you up to this time?"
"I will fulfill your wish. You wanted to make a wish if I lost. Well, I will fulfill any wish of yours, provided, of course, that you don't drag your feet and fulfill mine first. Deal?"
"Fine," I agree, realizing there is no other way. At this moment, I accept her terms, but deep down, I am already preparing for the fact that the fun she has proposed will definitely not be what I imagined.
If she fulfills my wish, it might give me a chance to regain control. Although, most likely, I am just agreeing to her terms. The more I think, the more doubts arise. Katrin never keeps promises without her own conditions. As soon as I agree, she is already preparing for the next step. I know her well — trusting her words is not worth it, but perhaps this time she will truly keep her promise. After all, despite my inner resistance, I decide I will be ready for it.
"Do you really think I need your 'fun'?"
The girl only smiles in response, but in her eyes, I see that unpredictability that I fear so much.
"You don't even know what I've come up with," she says, and I feel everything around me becoming unclear and unsettling again.