When Jaime Lannister walked out of that wedding room filled with red and festivity, he felt like a drowning man.
He took several deep breaths, finally struggling to the surface, greedily inhaling the first mouthful of peaceful air.
Father?
This word, the moment Myrcella spoke it herself, was like a key, unlocking the shackle sealed deep in his soul for years.
Now, he was no longer Cersei's secret lover, no longer Robert's Kingsguard, no longer that "Kingslayer" cursed by the world.
He was Jaime Lannister.
Just a father.
He walked forward along the seemingly endless corridor of the Red Keep.
The carpet under his feet was blindingly red, like an endlessly flowing river of blood.
He had bobbed up and down in this river for half his life.
For a vain oath, for a forbidden love, he personally threw his honor and soul into it.
But what did he get?
The humiliating slap mark on Cersei's face, the innocence fading from Myrcella's eyes.
And far away in Winterfell, that child he personally pushed off the high tower, shattered to pieces.
Bran Stark.
He suddenly wanted to see that child now.
Not to seek forgiveness.
He knew his sin was unforgivable.
He just wanted to see.
See what kind of tragedy he personally created back then to protect that filthy secret.
Jaime stopped his steps.
He didn't return to his room but turned and walked in another direction.
The White Sword Tower.
The sanctuary of the Kingsguard.
The tower was empty, with only cold stone walls and white shields hanging on them.
Jaime walked to the center of the hall, where a table made of weirwood stood, a thick book open on it.
The White Book.
This book of legends recorded the life and deeds of every Kingsguard for three hundred years in golden ink.
Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning.
Barristan Selmy, Barristan the Bold.
Every name had once shone brightly.
Jaime turned to his own page.
There were only a few words on it.
"Ser Jaime Lannister, eldest son of Lord Tywin, knighted at fifteen, joined the Kingsguard the same year."
Then, a large blank space.
Below the blank space was the title that had followed him for half his life.
Kingslayer.
Jaime looked at that glaring blank space and suddenly smiled.
He was going to write new content for this blank space himself.
He didn't pick up a pen, just turned and left this white cage that symbolized supreme honor but also imprisoned him for half his life.
...
Cersei's bedchamber.
When Jaime pushed open the door, Cersei was sitting by the window, holding a goblet of wine.
She was drinking heavily again.
This was her habitual way of venting.
The redness and swelling on Cersei's face had been treated, but that mark was still clearly visible, like an ugly flower.
"You went to see her?"
Cersei didn't turn around; no emotion could be heard in her voice.
"Yes."
Jaime walked opposite her and sat down.
"You told her everything?"
"Yes."
The goblet in Cersei's hand shook slightly; the crimson liquid rippled in the cup.
"Does she hate you?"
"No."
Jaime shook his head.
"She said she doesn't hate anymore."
Cersei fell silent.
She drank the wine in the cup in one gulp, then slammed the empty cup heavily on the table.
"Very good."
A strange smile appeared on Cersei's face.
In that smile was relief, and a trace of loss she hadn't noticed herself.
"My daughter saw through all this earlier than I did."
Cersei stood up, walked to Jaime, and looked at him.
"So, what do you want coming to me now?"
Cersei's eyes became sharp again, like a lioness protecting her food.
"To show off your fatherly love that arrived more than ten years late?"
"Or are you preparing to take your daughter and her husband far away, leaving me here alone to face that madman Robert?"
"I'm going to the North."
Jaime interrupted her, his voice calm and firm.
Cersei was stunned.
"You're going to help him?"
"Yes."
"Why?!"
Cersei's voice rose sharply.
Those green eyes were filled with incomprehensible anger.
"Are you leaving me?"
"Just because he's your daughter's husband?"
"Jaime, are you crazy?"
"Do you know what Robert wants to do?"
"He just wants Lynn dead!"
"Going now, what's the difference from seeking death!"
The three thousand troops Robert gave were just ordinary militia, without even armor or decent weapons.
He just wanted to see a three-way chaotic war and didn't intend to be responsible for it.
Whoever got involved would come to no good end.
The water here was deeper than they thought.
Robert didn't know because he was stupid.
Cersei wasn't that stupid.
Of course, Jaime wasn't stupid; he knew too.
But he just wanted to go; no one could stop him!
"I know."
Jaime looked up, meeting Cersei's gaze.
"I know he wants Lynn dead, and I know he wants the Starks, Arryns, and Tullys to kill each other."
"I also know, when they are all crippled, the next turn will be us Lannisters."
At the end of "Robert's Rebellion," Princess Elia Martell of Dorne, who married Prince Rhaegar Targaryen.
Her children were brutally murdered in King's Landing by Ser Gregor Clegane.
This forged a feud of irreconcilable hatred between Dorne and the victor King Robert as well as House Lannister.
Unlike his brother Oberyn's radicalism, Prince Doran Martell, the ruler of Dorne, was more forbearing and far-sighted.
On the surface, he accepted the rule of the Iron Throne, even once declaring support for Joffrey.
But in reality, he had been accumulating strength in secret, waiting for the opportunity to avenge against the Lannisters and Baratheons.
If the Lannisters suffered, they would definitely be happy to see it.
Moreover, Jaime also heard some internal news.
Robert planned to have his son Joffrey marry a daughter of House Tyrell.
Plus Stannis and Renly of House Baratheon were also not that incompetent.
Although this was an ideal situation, Jaime could only consider things in the worst direction.
Jaime looked levelly at Cersei.
This was the first time he didn't look at her with that gaze full of lust and possession.
His gaze was clear, calm.
Like a mirror, reflecting all the madness and unease on Cersei's face.
"Cersei, we have already lost."
"From the moment I pushed that child off the tower for you, we had already lost."
"Our love is not honey, it's poison."
"It poisoned us, and almost poisoned our children to death."
Jaime reached out, wanting to stroke Cersei's cheek as usual, but stopped abruptly in mid-air.
Jaime withdrew his hand and put it into his pocket.
This subtle movement made Cersei's heart sink abruptly.
Without physical entanglement for a long time, Jaime had sobered up.
"I come today not as your lover."
Jaime's voice was soft.
"I come as your brother to say goodbye."
"Cersei, be my sister."
"Like when we were little at Casterly Rock."
"We are twins; we are lions."
"We should fight side by side, instead of hiding in a dark corner like two mating beasts."
Cersei's body trembled violently.
She looked at Jaime before her, the man she loved all her life, on whom she pinned all her spiritual solace.
He changed.
In his eyes, there was no longer that flame that made her sink.
Only a golden color belonging to Lannisters remained.
"You want to... abandon me?"
Cersei's voice carried a tremor even she hadn't noticed.
"I will never abandon you."
Jaime shook his head.
"I just don't want to love you in that way anymore."
"I'm going to the North to protect our daughter, protect the last hope of our House Lannister."
"And you, Cersei,"
Jaime looked at her.
"You stay in King's Landing, wear your Queen's crown well, stabilize that madman Robert, and buy time for you and Father."
"Haven't you always wanted power?"
"Now, the opportunity has come."
"Prove to me, without me, you are still that proudest and strongest lioness."
Cersei bit her lip hard until she tasted blood.
She wanted to scream, question, tear the Jaime before her apart.
But looking at Jaime's determined eyes, all madness and anger finally turned into a powerless sorrow.
She knew she had completely lost Jaime.
That Jaime who belonged only to her was dead.
Surviving was Myrcella's father, the Lion of Lannister.
"Get out."
After an unknown amount of time, Cersei squeezed a word through her teeth.
"Get out to the North."
"If you dare let my daughter become a widow, Jaime,"
A ruthless look flashed in Cersei's eyes.
"I swear, I will kill you myself."
Jaime smiled.
He knew she agreed.
"Don't worry."
"I won't let him die."
With that, Jaime turned and walked out of the bedchamber without any reluctance.
The door closed.
Cersei's body went limp, collapsing on the floor.
She buried her face in her knees, emitting suppressed whimpers.
She didn't know why her fate was so bitter.
...
Early the next morning.
Small Council Chamber.
Robert Baratheon had a splitting headache from a hangover.
Sitting on the Iron Throne, he listened irritably to Varys reporting some trivial matters.
Just then, Jaime Lannister walked in.
He wasn't wearing that signature gilded armor, nor carrying that gilded longsword famous throughout the Seven Kingdoms.
He wore only a simple white linen outfit, a common knight's sword hanging at his waist.
He walked straight to the foot of the Iron Throne and knelt on one knee.
"Your Grace."
"What is it?"
Robert waved his hand impatiently.
"Can't you see I'm busy?"
"I, Jaime Lannister, hereby,"
Jaime's voice spread clearly throughout the hall.
"Formally resign from the position of Kingsguard."
Words falling, everyone present was shocked.
Robert sat up straight on the Iron Throne abruptly, looking at Jaime kneeling below in disbelief.
"What did you say?!"
"I said, I quit."
Jaime looked up, a frivolous smile on his face.
"I'm tired of wearing this white cloak."
"You..."
Robert trembled with anger.
Pointing at Jaime, he couldn't speak for a long time.
He thought of Cersei, thought of the Lannisters.
He felt this must be Tywin Lannister's conspiracy!
"Where do you want to go?"
Robert asked through gritted teeth.
"To the North."
Jaime's answer was simple and direct.
"Heard there's going to be a war there; I want to join the fun."
"By the way, also do my part for my niece's husband."
Robert's face turned ashen instantly.
He understood.
Jaime was openly demonstrating against him!
He was telling him he stood on Lynn's side!
"Good! Very good!"
Robert laughed in extreme anger.
"Get out! Get the fuck out!"
"I've long found you, Kingslayer, an eyesore!"
"I should have let Ned hang you back then."
"Get out, you ungrateful villain Lannister!"
"As you command, Your Grace."
Jaime stood up, executed an elegant bow.
Then he turned, under everyone's astonished gaze, strode out of the Throne Room.
He was going to the North.
To fight a war truly belonging to him.
He walked on the streets of King's Landing.
Sunlight shone on him, warm.
He felt he had never been so relaxed.
Just as he was about to walk out of the city gate, a figure blocked his way.
It was Lynn.
He seemed to have been waiting here for a long time.
"Ready?"
Lynn looked at him.
"Of course."
Jaime grinned, revealing white teeth.