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Myrcella was bewildered.
The noise of King's Landing outside the window, the friction of guards' armor far down the corridor, seemed to drift away from Myrcella at this moment.
Her world was left with only a constant ringing deep in her eardrums.
Not Robert Baratheon's daughter.
She was Cersei and Jaime's child.
The blood of the lion, not the stupid stag.
Every word ground everything she had known for years into dust.
"Hahaha."
Myrcella laughed.
She looked at Cersei before her.
Cersei's face, twisted by extreme madness, yet possessing a sickly beauty.
In this moment, Cersei was no longer the high and mighty Queen in her eyes, no longer the mother who made her die of shame.
She was an accomplice.
An accomplice who dragged her into the abyss from birth, sharing a secret enough to burn the entire kingdom!
Myrcella suddenly understood.
She understood many details she had never thought deeply about before.
Why Joffrey was so cruel and tyrannical.
There wasn't a trace of Baratheon boldness in his bones, but he was full of Lannister coldness and arrogance.
Why she and her two brothers all inherited their mother's dazzling golden hair.
Yet not one inherited Robert's signature black hair.
Why Jaime always looked at her with kindness.
Whenever she had a problem, he would come to help immediately, whether it was finding a puppy or buying sweets, he would do it personally...
Myrcella suddenly felt so stupid.
She had noticed these anomalies long ago.
She should have known.
So her pathetic life, from the moment of conception, was a lie through and through.
A... filthy secret.
"Now, do you understand?"
Cersei's voice pulled Myrcella back from the brink of collapse.
"Do you understand why I did all this, my dear?"
Cersei looked at Myrcella's green eyes, which had lost all their luster, and saw what she wanted.
That innocence unique to a young girl was completely dead.
After all, innocence didn't work in King's Landing, nor did it live long...
Especially at this critical juncture of life and death.
"I am sorry, Myrcella."
"I was selfish and had you with Jaime. This was my fault; I implicated you."
"But I have been making up for it all these years."
"You are my life."
"I won't allow anyone to hurt you!"
"But I protected you too well."
"So much so that Joffrey became cruel, Tommen became ignorant, and you became pure and kind."
"But now I've figured it out."
"As long as I die, you all have to die with me."
"I can't die."
"And I don't want you to die."
Cersei gently stroked Myrcella's golden hair.
"Do you think I really want to marry you to Lynn?"
"I have many ways to stop him from marrying you smoothly."
Cersei let out a short, desolate sneer.
"A man with a betrothal?"
"Making him my son-in-law is simply the greatest humiliation to House Lannister!"
"But I have no choice, Myrcella."
A bone-deep fear appeared in Cersei's eyes.
That was the fragility she hid under all her pride and madness, never shown to anyone.
"From the day you were born, I have lived in this fear."
"Every night I wake up from nightmares."
"Dreaming that drunkard Robert discovered the truth."
"Dreaming he carried his war hammer, smashing Joffrey's head, cutting off yours..."
"This Red Keep is the most luxurious prison."
"Ned Stark, Jon Arryn, Renly Baratheon..."
"They are all waiting to expose your origins."
"Like a flock of vultures circling over corpses, ready to swoop down and tear us apart at any moment!"
"I need outside power, Myrcella."
"A power that can protect you, let you live."
"And Lynn... he is that power."
Cersei spoke with fanaticism.
"He has a dragon, Myrcella."
"A Targaryen dragon!"
"A weapon capable of melting the Iron Throne into molten iron!"
"He has the support of the North and beyond the Wall; he holds a considerable fortune in his hands!"
"He is the only man in all of Westeros who dares to trample the King's orders underfoot, while that fool Robert can only smile at him!"
"He is the only variable, and your only way out!"
"Even if Lynn becomes an enemy of the whole world, as long as he has the dragon, even if he fails, he can carry you far away, and you will never be in danger of losing your life."
"As for Joffrey and Tommen, I will think of another way for them."
Myrcella listened quietly.
The turbulent waves in her heart gradually calmed amidst Cersei's confession full of despair.
That unbearable image resurfaced in her mind.
Cersei kneeling before Lynn.
Humiliation, baseness, disgust...
These words still hovered in her mind.
But this time, there was an extra layer of meaning.
It wasn't degeneration and loss of backbone.
It was a mother, a Queen.
At a dead end, using her last and most precious dignity to make a gamble for herself.
She used her body and dignity to buy a ticket to the future.
A ticket that would let her survive the turbulent waves.
"So..."
Myrcella's voice was dry and hoarse.
"You knelt to him, pleased him, let him humiliate you... all just to make him believe he completely controlled you?"
"To make him relax his guard and willingly... protect me?"
"What else?"
A smile appeared on Cersei's face, but tears fell again.
"Why would I, the most noble Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, do such unseemly, shameful, filthy things?"
"Lynn's weakness is lust."
"In the North, the day that boy Bran fell from the tower, I met Lynn alone."
"I discovered it then."
"To make Lynn tell more of the truth he knew, I deliberately exposed my chest to him, and he stared straight at it..."
"Do you think your laughable princess identity can make him devoted to you?"
"Men are all cheap bones, Myrcella, especially lustful men like Lynn."
"The more you submit, the more boring he finds it."
"The more you resist, the more interesting he finds it."
"But none of this compares to making him feel he conquered a Queen, a proud Lannister."
"He told me he wanted to marry into the Lannisters, naming you specifically."
"I knew he must have fancied your beauty."
"So you could live, I agreed."
"I let him conquer me, let him think he controlled everything. Because of this arrogance and pride, he will treat you, this trophy obtained from me, as his most precious collection."
"When the storm comes, when everyone wants to kill you, this bastard child, he will fight with everything to protect you to maintain his trophy and honor."
"I turned my dignity, my pride, my everything into a collar around your neck, Myrcella."
"A collar made of gold and gems, enough to make Lynn crazy for you."
Cersei reached out, gently cupping Myrcella's face, pale as paper.
"I'm about to lose, I've already felt it, my daughter."
"But as long as you win, as long as you live... my loss is worth it."
Her mother's tears, hot, scalding.
Falling drop by drop on the back of Myrcella's hand, but seeming to brand her heart.
She looked at this woman before her.
This selfish, vicious, crazy, unscrupulous woman.
This woman who pushed her into hell with a single thought, yet tried to build a bridge to heaven for her.
Did she hate her?
Myrcella didn't know.
All hatred turned into something more complex and heavier the moment she learned this cruel truth.
It was a sadness connected by blood, a fatalism of being pieces in the same game.
They were both involuntary pieces in this game of thrones.
Only, Cersei bet her dignity.
And she, bet her life.
"I understand."
After an unknown amount of time, Myrcella spoke slowly.
In those hollow green eyes, the last bit of confusion vanished.
Looking at the expression on her daughter's face, identical to her own, Cersei finally breathed a sigh of relief.
She knew her Myrcella finally grew sharp thorns. She was no longer that naive, kind little white flower.
"Very good."
Cersei stood up slowly, transforming back into that high and mighty Lannister Queen.
"So now, you know what to do."
"You can't lose your temper at Lynn anymore, nor push him away."
"With men like Lynn, the more you resist, the more interesting he finds it, but his patience is limited."
"Those two Stark vixens are waiting for you to make a mistake."
"As soon as you're not paying attention, they will take advantage and share the favor that belongs to you."
"Go, my daughter."
Cersei walked to the door and opened it.
"Go apologize to him."
"Use your tears, your weakness, your body, your everything to regain his pity."
"Make him believe you are still that naive, kind little princess who needs his protection."
"Make him hold you in his palm, cherish you like a treasure."
"You must learn to use everything you have, Myrcella."
"Especially your beauty and identity."
"Turn them into sharpest weapons, tying Lynn firmly to your war chariot."
"Remember, from now on, you are no longer a Baratheon princess."
"You have nothing to do with Baratheon or Lannister anymore; you are just Lynn's woman, nothing more."
"Please remember this always."
The door closed.
Only Myrcella remained in the room again.
The bronze mirror on the floor reflected her fragmented face.
She looked at herself in the mirror, at those green eyes, exclusive to Lannisters.
Then, Myrcella smiled.
She bent down, picking up the shattered jewelry on the floor.
She gripped the fragments tightly, letting the sharp edges cut her palm.
Blood dripped from between her fingers onto the white carpet, blooming into demonic red lotuses.
The pain made her clearer-headed than ever.
Apologize?
No.
Lannisters never apologize.
And she did nothing wrong.
Lynn was the one in the wrong!
But she would make Lynn think she came to apologize.
Myrcella threw away the fragments, not even looking at the wound on her palm.
She walked to the basin, carefully washing her face.
Then picked the plainest white dress from the wardrobe, the one that best highlighted her fragile temperament.
Having done all this, she took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked toward Lynn's room.
Her steps were steady, without a trace of hesitation.
Standing in front of Lynn's door, Myrcella raised her hand, about to knock.
The door was pulled open from the inside.
Lynn was preparing to go out.
He looked at Myrcella standing at the door, changed into a new dress, face pale but eyes unusually calm, and was slightly stunned.
Especially when he saw her hand still dripping blood, his brow furrowed instantly.
"Myrcella, your hand..."
Lynn instinctively grabbed her wrist.
Myrcella didn't struggle.
Letting Lynn hold her hand.
Myrcella looked up, quietly watching Lynn with those misty green eyes.
In that gaze, there was no longer the previous anger and warning.
Only a grievance and sorrow too thick to dissolve.
"Lord Lynn..."
Her voice was soft, carrying a trembling sob.
Like a chick soaked wings in a storm, helpless to the extreme.
"I'm sorry."
"I... I shouldn't have lost my temper at you."