Jack Sporo's POV:
NO!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!! WHAT… WHAT DID I DO TO HER!!!
I was staring into Elise's eyes. She had discovered the truth about me, that I had been deceiving her the entire time.
And what I saw in them horrified me to my very core. My worst fears had come true.
I had dropped my act, and couldn't remember anything I did afterwards. But I knew beforehand the results wouldn't be pretty.
I expected that she would love me again out of fear. And that I would Iater try to alleviate it and make our love pure again.
But that was not what happened. A far worse emotion shone from her eyes. Or rather, the lack thereof was the true horror.
After a glimpse of sadness, I saw that her eyes were now filled with absolute love for me, and zero fear.
I must have broken her so completely that the only thing she could do was fall in love with even the worst of me. She… she had fallen in love with the monster that is me.
I didn't know what I did. But it must have been so terrifying that the only way she could have coped with the fear was to replace it with love.
And I had seen the exact same look that Elise is giving me now before.
It was the same look that my mother and my father's wife had given him.
And I know where it will lead. I feel it in my very being that if this goes on like this, I'll become exactly like my father.
I… I will bend Elise's very being to my will. And once there is nothing left to bend, I'll abandon her, looking for someone else. I'll destroy her so completely that there will be nothing left.
I… I can't let that happen. I'm sorry, Elise. I… I'll have to break your heart now. I have to mitigate the damage.
I… you'll recover, I know you will. You've overcome your own body, so you'll overcome this too.
You'll… someday, you'll fall in love again with someone who will treat you right, not someone who only lies to you. Someone who can destroy everything about you without you even being aware of it.
I looked away from her, and I was about to think about how to best say what needed to be said. But her voice interrupted me.
"Jack, look me in the eyes."
I froze. My heart started beating in my chest, because something in her voice caught my attention.
For the first time since I knew her, I couldn't identify the emotion behind her words.
I looked into her blue eyes, and I was completely stunned. I saw… I saw something in them that shouldn't be there.
Alongside her love, she stared into my eyes with an absolute will of iron.
"Jack, please promise that you'll never lie to me again, and always tell me the truth. Otherwise, I won't be friends with you anymore."
…What?
My entire being went blank. Only my heart was beating so fast that it almost exploded out of my chest.
I… I couldn't understand. For… for the first time in a long while, I couldn't understand someone.
The woman in front of me had suddenly become incomprehensible to me.
She had fallen in love with the lie, but she would abandon her love if I keep the lie going?
It's completely illogical. I couldn't comprehend. I… I was scared of her, scared of someone I couldn't understand anymore.
But… I had to respond. Only… I couldn't think anymore. My heart was beating so fiercely that no solid thought could form in me. So… so… I spoke from my heart.
"I promise," I said to her, feeling like I had just lied through my teeth.
A tense silence remained between us, until she spoke again.
"Good! And you'd better hold yourself to that! I'm serious, you know!"
I could only say yes and nod repeatedly. She was completely serious, that much I understood.
"…And I'll promise you something myself too," Elise continued softly with a tremble in her voice.
…Oh no. I… I did do something to her!?
Her voice sounded so frightened. I… I felt like I almost had a heart attack listening to what she had to say.
"Even if you end up doing something scary again, I won't leave. I'll properly scold you first, okay!"
My eyes went wide. I didn't understand. I couldn't comprehend.
I… I had to know.
"Sorry, I was too overwhelmed just now. I can't remember what I…"
"You told me you tried to hurt yourself, you insane idiot! I… I was so scared, you know! You… you could just barely stop yourself! Otherwise… otherwise…"
She trailed off. I was only disgusted with myself for what I almost did to her.
"Elise, I'm sorry…"
"YOU BETTER BE SORRY! AND DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO DO THAT AGAIN!"
…I couldn't respond verbally due to the ringing in my ears, so I just meekly nodded.
We remained silent for a while. But I still had to know.
Why did she still love me? Why did she give me more chances? Why didn't she just leave me after all I had done to her?
"Why… why do you…"
"Because I care about you! So… so stop trying to push me away like this!"
…Oh god. It felt like she stabbed me in my heart.
I… she was completely serious. That was all the reason she needed.
Why? My head couldn't comprehend it.
Only my heart told me the truth.
I… I didn't want to lose what I had going on with Elise. I didn't want her to leave me.
"Elise, thank you. And…, I'll try to be better."
…Elise looked at me seriously. And then, she simply nodded, let out a sigh of relief, and her fear with it.
She believed me.
Finally, after all that, the atmosphere between us relaxed again.
Only the tension and lack of belief in myself remained. But…, that I could resolve later. We had something more urgent to do tonight.
My father's shadow would be here at 3 o'clock. My internal clock said I had about half an hour or so left to set up the trap in this room. And… I'll need Elise's help.
After everything that happened between us, I wanted to make sure that she was still willing to put herself in danger for me.
"Elise…I'm…sorry for the way I've acted. But, like I told you, my father's coming soon. I have to get rid of him, otherwise we will all stay in immense danger. And… I need your help to do that now. So, I wanted to make sure you still want to help, after everything that just happened between us?"
She heard my plea, and without hesitation, responded to me.
"Of course I'll help. We promised each other when we walked back to your house, remember?"
…Yes, I remember. But, that was before I knew what kind of danger we were really in. I… I don't know if I would have still involved them if I already knew back then about the real threat.
…However, deep in my heart, right now, I'm glad I did. I'm glad Elise is here with me now.
A sigh of relief left my mouth. Finally, for the first time since I went back to my house, I could relax again somewhat. And with that, a small but genuine smile formed on my face again.
"I remember. I'm glad I asked for your help. I'm glad we're friends."
She smiled back upon hearing me say that. And we continued smiling in peace for a few moments, before Elise started to talk again about our current predicament.
"So… you told me about everything you've been doing and figured out. But, how exactly are you going to do the… deed?"
Ah, yes. I haven't told her about the nature of the trap yet.
And, I wanted to show her that I'm still really me.
Also…, I wonder what cute reaction she would show if I say it that way? The smile on my face turned a bit mischievous.
"Well, killing my father is actually pretty simple…"
I held a dramatic pause. Elise's entire being was focused on my next words. And then, I continued speaking the truth.
"I just need some duct tape and toilet paper."
…? What's that expression she's making? That knowing smile, did she expect something like this already!?
How? Wh… What changed so much about her? Can she see right through me now!?
I… I'm scared. I really can't understand and predict her anymore…
***
I was hanging up sheets of toilet paper from the ceiling with tape. Elise and I had quickly grabbed the materials from around the house.
While I was setting up the trap, I had a few moments to think, and I used that time to think about what I had promised her.
To always tell her the truth, and never lie to her again. I promised her that I would do that, and I intended to keep it.
I valued our… friendship… too much.
So then, why did I feel like I had lied to her? I couldn't understand.
I was capable of telling her the truth, even if it was inconvenient.
I had done it at this very moment with the trap, after all, instead of keeping her in the dark and continuing making excuses that would hurt her further.
I will tell her the truth from now on. So, then… why do I still feel like I'll be lying to her?
This awful contradiction within me. I wanted to know what it is. So I looked deep within myself…
And then, the shock of realisation hit me.
I could always tell her the truth. But, I couldn't tell her something that I did not know.
The truth about myself.
I was too scared to find out.
If I knew… what I really am… I… I wouldn't be able to look Elise in the eyes anymore.
Because I felt it in my very being.
Hurting myself wasn't the worst thing within me.
Not even close.
***
It was a few seconds before 3. The room had changed.
Sheets of toilet paper were hanging from the ceiling, so long that they were touching the ground. They were densely hung across the entire room.
Nobody could move between them without disturbing them, but you could still see the entire room through them.
The room was dark. No light was on and the curtains of the only window were closed. Only one light source served as illumination.
A phone flashlight, which I held in my left hand, as I stood in the corner of the room.
A web of different shadows was cast across the rest of the room, except for the place where I was standing.
To my right, along the wall, was the covered window. Further along stood the bed in the corner.
Elise was standing at the foot in front of it, her eyes closed. She was shaking a bit, but overall she was full of composure.
The desk that once sat beneath the window had been moved to the opposite side of the room. There was no obstacle between her and me. There was no toilet paper in between us.
To my left was the entrance door. Everything else in the room had been pushed against the remaining walls.
My internal clock said there were only a few seconds left. I gripped the knife in my right hand more tightly.
I was tensing all my muscles, like a loaded spring, ready to strike when the moment arrived.
While doing that, I was constantly observing the room.
My eyes were moving so fast that my field of vision effectively expanded in regular time. I would not miss anything.
The last seconds ticked away. And then, the alarm on my phone caused it to vibrate, exactly in sync with my internal clock.
It's 3 o'clock. My father's here. He's a punctual man after all. He's a lawyer.
No toilet paper was displaced.
I threw the knife at Elise!
It barely passed the top of her head, and hit the face of the shadow behind her.
Her shadow, the only humanoid shadow present in the room.
The entire blade was embedded in the shadow cast on the wall. It had been less than 100 milliseconds since my phone started vibrating.
I turned my flashlight off and rushed towards Elise in the dark.
I tackled her onto the bed while putting my right hand across her mouth.
"HHHMMM" Only a muffled gasp of surprise escaped from her covered mouth as we both crashed onto the bed with so much force that we bounced with a loud creak.
When we landed, I was on top, pinning her.
I'd protect her with my body, my life, if I must!
I turned my phone flashlight back on and scanned the entire room.
No toilet paper was displaced. The only movement was caused by air displacement due to my momentum.
There was no shadow present. There was no one else here.
I looked at the knife embedded in the wall. It hadn't moved, no force had acted on it.
Nothing had been here.
…What… No… That…, that can't be…
Cold dread filled me. Because…, because, the trap had failed. My father had not been here at all.
And that… that could only mean one thing.
That he already knew, and avoided it. And that means, he knows I've defied him.
NO NO NO NO THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! HOW COULD HE KNOW!? MY ACTING WAS PERFECT! HE COULD NEVER HAVE SUSPECTED A THING!
Did… did I make a mistake in my logic somewhere!? Im… impossible…
But I… I was not sure anymore.
I panicked and thought back about everything I had deduced about how the shadow functions.
It can teleport and appear anywhere. It was there in my mother's house almost immediately after the Whiteout, after all.
And then, it can turn invisible too. It can still be present without anyone being aware of anything.
"Hhm… hhm," Elise was mumbling into my hand.
And more importantly, it can still communicate with my father when it's invisible. That's why those two officers came at the exact moment when we were done changing the crime scene, but not yet got rid of the evidence.
My father couldn't pin a murder on me anymore, but he could still maintain leverage over me in regards to evidence tampering. That's the reason he had intervened.
And, to maintain communication with my father, an important aspect is needed.
Consciousness.
Since the shadow and my father had both needed to be aware of each other to process information to each other. That means that my father has to control the shadow personally. Which means that the shadow doesn't function on autopilot. Its decisions are the same as my father's decisions.
Then came the question how the invisible shadow processes information to be able to communicate.
Sight? Hearing? Both those processes needed biological processes to turn them into information.
Light gets converted in the eyes, and soundwaves in the ears, to electrical impulses, which the brain processes. That all suggested that the invisible shadow had presence to replicate biological functions, and was thus also 3-dimensional, just like the regular one.
Elise started tapping my arm.
However, the shadow is supernatural. Common logic might not apply, so I needed to test and prove my hypothesis.
And for that I needed the shadow to be near me, to test its limitations. For that, I needed bait. And luckily, I had bait available that my father himself gave to me.
My mother's ashes, a leverage source he had interfered in so that it could be maintained. That meant that it was important to him. And that means, that as long as the vase was around, he would be there.
Why wouldn't he be, if he hadn't realised yet that I knew he was spying on me. He can teleport anywhere at any time, without anyone being aware.
So, every time that vase was around, I could influence his decisions.
By saying that by 3 AM I would get rid of the evidence, he would be forced to appear. To either intervene or make sure that I would really get rid of my mother.
I also left openings during all that. If my father caught on, he would take a hostage and threaten me into obedience for defying him. He hadn't done that, so he was still unaware.
Elise waved her hand in front of my eyes.
With all that, I knew when and where he would appear. But, I still didn't know the limitations of the shadow. And the only way to do that, was to do something that my father couldn't possibly know.
Which is why I sneaked out to the creek at 1 AM. My father has a rigid sleep schedule he needed to maintain for his job. He would be asleep by then.
At the creek, I was in a dark spot, talking into thin air, inviting the shadow that might be there to come closer and listen in.
Then, I threw water behind me. The water had hit the dirt. No shadow, no invisible presence, was present where the water could have caught on in mid-air. The shadow was not there at the moment. It hadn't appeared in complete darkness.
Then, I threw water again, this time with the light on. The water hit the dirt again naturally, also across the shadow cast by me. No shadow had appeared in the light or my own shadow.
Then, I turned the light off and threw water again one last time. Nothing was present either. No shadow had materialised after all light sources were completely removed.
With all that I was sure of one thing. The shadow was truly not something functioning on autopilot, otherwise it would have been there. It was also not something hiding constantly in my shadow or in darkness itself, otherwise it would have appeared through my light trickery.
I was as sure as I could be then, that the shadow was controlled consciously by my father, and that I was almost completely sure its invisible form was 3-dimensional.
There was only a small chance that it was hiding in Elise's shadow, whom I had been dragging around everywhere with me. I took that also into account with the trap I set.
I also left a toilet paper free path to me and Elise, for the knife to travel to her shadow and to also hit the shadow itself should it have materialised somewhere between me and her.
Of course with all that, I could still be mistaken. You can never be sure when the supernatural is involved.
So, I was now panicking not because I might have been wrong. I was scared because every instinct in me screamed that I was completely right.
And that was impossible, because my father had not appeared here. So my instincts also yelled at me that I had been wrong somewhere.
That's what terrifies me most. How can I both be right and wrong at the same time? I… I couldn't understand.
The panic in me was increasing, my thoughts kept churning and churning in my head, until…
Elise removed my hand from her mouth and started talking.
"Jack, are you okay?"
…!? How can she talk!? I'm thinking, time should have stopped!?
Ah, NO NO NO SHIT! I'VE NOT BEEN COMPOSED ENOUGH TO FUEL INTENT! I'VE JUST BEEN ZONING OUT THIS ENTIRE TIME!
I quickly got off Elise and apologised once we were sitting next to each other on the bed.
"Sorry, I was panicking. The… the trap failed. My father's not here. And… I don't know why."
I was looking at her, and she was… calm? Why!? Doesn't she realise that we're still in danger!?
"Wh…why are you calm?" I managed to ask her with the last of my composure.
"O… Oh, uhm…" she became lost in thought contemplating what to say to me, and then she spoke.
"I just thought, maybe your father had something more important on his mind than that vase, and that's why he's not here right now."
"What do you mean?"
"I… I'm not sure. It's just a feeling I have. Can't… can't you think from your father's perspective, and see if you missed something?"
My father's perspective. What could be more important than the leverage he has on me right now?
I thought about everything that happened to me today and what I knew.
And then…, the answer came quickly.
All the fear I was feeling was replaced with another feeling.
Rage.
THAT GODDAMN IDIOT!!! HE ALWAYS ACTS SO HIGH AND MIGHTY, AND THEN YOU FUCK IT UP NOW WHEN IT MATTERS MOST!!!
"Philadelphia, my brother's probably in trouble somehow. I think my father's focusing his attention on him now," I said to her, feigning calm.
Elise's expression changed upon hearing my answer. I… couldn't identify it. Why?
"If that's what you think, I'm sure that's the case."
"Yeah…, yeah we're still safe. He hasn't figured it out yet. …I'll pull out your knife from the wall, wait a second."
I stood on the bed and pulled the knife out.
Ah…, shit. It was really blunted now, and I didn't have a sharpening stone on hand…
Anyway, when I sat back on the bed next to Elise, again with the now blunted but still usable knife in hand, some amount of calm returned to me.
However, I thought that the problem still wasn't resolved. My father's shadow could still appear here any moment.
The toilet paper was still hanging, but if the shadow's invisible form was truly something else than 3-dimensional, it won't do a thing, only make my father realise I'm trying to get rid of him.
I couldn't make Elise stand here all the time to cast her shadow on the wall.
Do I cast my own shadow on the wall?
That might be the best option. I'd have to get rid of him as soon as possible, even if I have to stay up all night.
"Jack…, what are you thinking about?"
…Damn it all. I'm still not composed enough to fuel my thinking intent. I'd better respond to her.
"My father could still appear here any moment. I… I'll need to stay up all night for the chance to get rid of him."
"You… You want to stay up all night!"
I nodded. It was the only option. I couldn't think of anything else.
A small silence grew between us, until Elise spoke again.
"Hey, do you want to sleep together with me?"
!? My entire being went blank. Out of all the insanity I've experienced today, what she just asked me might take the cake.
***
AUTHOR NOTE: Dear reader. Thank you for reading, and welcome to Volume II.
From here on, the world will widen, and so will the stakes.
Jack and Elise's relationship will be tested, not just by the world around them, but by the truths they carry and the choices they must make.
New allies and/or enemies will emerge, each shaped by this new reality.
And as America descends further into chaos, one question remains:
Can Jack break free from the man who raised him…
or will he become exactly what his father intended?
Because one thing is certain.
Their confrontation is no longer a matter of if —
but when.
And as always, with a new Volume, I would like to recommend a new Rammstein song. For this Volume, I recommend their song 'Was ich liebe'. I hope you enjoy listening and reading.