"Smelly cat, come back here."
The moment Hela's voice rang out, Garfield shuddered. Why did those words sound so familiar?
A bad feeling crept up his spine.
At times like this, Garfield decided, the correct response is to pretend to be mentally deficient.
He kept walking.
Didn't turn around. Didn't slow down.
Hela's anger flared instantly.
"Cat!" She roared. "Pretend to be stupid again, and I'll turn you into a dead cat!"
Garfield hesitated.
As the dignified head of the household, a macho husband in spirit, at least, he felt he should have a backbone.
A man could not allow a woman to slap him around whenever she pleased.
That privilege belonged exclusively to the head of the household. Garfield stopped, turned around, and forced himself to look fierce.
"Why are you so unreasonable?" He snapped. "You can't bite people whenever you feel like it!"
Before the situation could explode further, Queen Frigg stepped in, her voice soothing.
"Hela." She said calmly,
"As a woman, sometimes you must give a man some respect. Only then can harmony exist."
Hela curled her lips disdainfully. "It's only an orange cat. Stroke its fur, and it behaves."
"Hela." Frigg said patiently, "You are over a thousand years old. You should act with maturity."
Hela squatted off to the side, lips pursed, refusing to argue further, but her eyes remained hostile.
"Stinky cat." She muttered.
With Frigg supporting him, Garfield's courage instantly doubled.
"That's right," He said confidently. "Hela, you're over a thousand years old. You should be mature."
"Calling people 'stinky cat' all the time, what are we, heartless scumbags who abandon our girlfriends?"
Hela's brow twitched.
She waved her hand. "What do you mean by that?"
"A scumbag," Garfield explained solemnly, "Is someone who abandons their girlfriend."
Frigg's interest was immediately piqued.
"Garfield." She asked thoughtfully,
"What do you think of a man who already has a wife and children, yet still messes around outside?"
Garfield's keen sixth sense screamed danger. This wasn't a casual question.
Is Queen Frigg setting a trap for Odin? Or… for me?
Carefully, Garfield replied, "Is Her Majesty very busy? How does she usually treat her family?"
Frigg hadn't expected the question to be turned back on her.
She paused, then answered honestly. "Being busy… is also for the sake of one's family."
Garfield nodded seriously.
As expected, it's about Odin.
Odin, honestly, if you have nothing better to do, why stir up trouble?
Feigning ignorance, Garfield organized his thoughts and spoke earnestly. "This matter is complicated, but also simple."
"Stop dodging and say it." Hela crossed her arms impatiently.
Garfield glared at her. "Don't interrupt when a man is speaking."
He patted his chest and addressed Frigg confidently.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with a man. Being attracted to beauty is natural."
"Especially for a man who is successful, powerful, wealthy, handsome, wise, mature, steady, and possesses a majestic presence unmatched in the universe."
After taking a breath, he continued unabashedly. "For example, me. Wherever I go, girls like me."
"That's simply male charm."
"Have some shame." Hela sneered.
Then she changed the subject abruptly. "Why did you only come back after seven years?"
Garfield scratched his head awkwardly.
"When I passed through the space-time tunnel, there was interference. It delayed me."
"According to time-space refutation theory, the original world should have remained relatively static at the moment I left."
Frigg shook her head gently.
"Theory and reality often differ." She said softly. "When theories are conceived, many variables cannot be imagined."
She smiled faintly.
"As they say, practice is the sole criterion for testing truth. It is also the most direct and effective method."
Garfield blinked, suddenly curious.
"Queen Frigg." He asked, "are you saying something that should even exist in this era?"
Frigg nodded naturally. "An anthropologist said it. I happened to remember."
Garfield thought for a moment and finally recalled where he'd heard it before.
Comrade Ma…
As for why Frigg knew such a thing?
Well, she was the Queen of Asgard. The Nine Realms were under her watch. For someone standing at the top of cosmic civilization, knowing a few 'inappropriate' quotes across time wasn't strange at all.
Then Garfield remembered why he'd come in the first place.
The Ancient One had thrown him here. And Hela had called him back.
Garfield scratched the fur on his backside and asked bluntly, "Hela. Why were you calling me back?"
"Nothing," Hela replied lazily. "I was wondering where the weird orange-cat ran off to."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Garfield narrowed his eyes. "Why do I feel like something's off in your tone?"
"You're too sensitive." Hela shot him a murderous glare.
Then she folded her arms and spoke as if she were announcing a grand destiny.
"I'll be traveling the universe soon to temper my strength. Oh and before I go, I'll bless you with Asgard's power."
Her lips curved. "It's a rare power. Be grateful."
Garfield stared at her. Aside from the figure… she really looked like a child throwing a tantrum.
He sighed helplessly.
"Hela." He said, "If you're bored, it's better to fight your father at home than go out into the universe and deliver your head to someone for free."
Hela's eyes widened. "I am Hela, the Goddess of Death. A famous war god of the universe."
"Can you beat your father?" Garfield's expression turned into pure disdain.
Hela's face darkened instantly. "…Are you trying to pick a fight?"
Her voice dropped. "Believe it or not, the moment I'm released, I'll castrate you."
Garfield's fur bristled. He glared back, equally offended.
What is it with you people?!
Why does everyone keep threatening to castrate me?!
I'm only a harmless housecat who stays home and minds his business!
He inhaled and spoke slowly, forcing himself to be serious. "Hela. Your father can't even defeat the top powers in the universe."
"If you walk out there and meet the wrong kind of monster, you won't be 'training.' You'll be dying."
He tapped the ground with his paw. "And listen carefully, don't provoke hatred across the Nine Realms, especially Asgard and Earth."
"If you start a war that drags hundreds of millions into death, that karma will sit on your name."
"And one more thing." Then Garfield's tone lowered.
"You call yourself the Goddess of Death."
"But in the universe, there is also a being called Death, the one who governs the Realm of Death itself."
"That existence isn't your level. It's the level of a creator god."
"So stop making trouble."
Hela's face still held stubborn pride, like she refused to admit defeat, but she didn't retort.
Because, despite her madness, Hela wasn't stupid. Some things could not be spoken lightly.
Garfield glanced at Frigga.
Frigg was silent, but there was no surprise in her eyes. So Asgard really does have records about 'Death.'
That made Garfield's stomach sink.
If so… why had Hela always been so obsessed with killing? Garfield's mind began running, fast and dark.
Something felt wrong. Could this all be a scheme?
Did Odin deliberately allow Hela's "rebellion"?
Maybe their hatred wasn't entirely real. Maybe the father-daughter conflict was partly performance.
A bitter trick.
A sacrifice staged to satisfy something behind the curtain.
Or worse…
Maybe Hela already knew about that true 'Death'… and the endless slaughter was an offering, a way to attract attention.
Like the infamous Mad Titan with the romantic delusions.
The more he thought, the colder his back became. This world isn't where a harmless little orange cat should be.
This isn't the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse bus.
This was the kind of bus that didn't stop and if you didn't jump off in time, you wouldn't even know how you died.
Garfield lowered his head, thinking hard.
If his instincts were right…
Then he needed to move quickly.
Remove hidden dangers and cut off the threads he couldn't control.
And take everyone he cared about… far away to another world.
꧁𓊈𒆜༺⚜༻𒆜𓊉꧂
PhantomDream