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Chapter 34 - Chapter 32: The Talk

"That's not true," I interrupted. "She wrote half the control code and found the error in the force sensor calibration."

"It was an obvious error," Alex said, her cheeks pink. "The PID gain was misconfigured. Anyone would have seen it."

"I didn't see it," I said. "And I spent three days trying to fix it."

Susan watched the exchange with a smile she couldn't hide. Her eyes went from Alex to me, from me to Alex, as if she were assembling a puzzle she was only now beginning to understand.

"Alex," she said, her tone warmer than she had used with anyone all night. "Leo told us you also write poetry."

Alex stiffened again. "That's not... it's not something... it's not important."

"I think it is important," Susan said. "My grandmother wrote poetry. About the sea, about the rain, about the things she saw from her window. She never published it. She never showed it to anyone except me. But it was important to her. It was her way of understanding the world."

Alex looked at her for a second, her prodigy child mask cracking.

"I write about things I can't explain with equations," she said quietly. "About silence. About cracks. About how sometimes broken things are more interesting than perfect ones."

Susan smiled. "That's beautiful."

"It's not beautiful. It's... true."

"Truth can be beautiful," Susan said. "Sometimes more than any well-told lie."

Alex didn't respond, but when her eyes met mine, there was something in them I hadn't seen before: gratitude. Not for what I had done, but for what my mother had said.

 

Dinner was over. Phil and Claire stood at the door, thanking my parents with an effusiveness bordering on theatrical. Luke was already asleep in the back seat, mouth open, a stain of sauce on his shirt. Haley was in the passenger seat, phone pressed to her ear, ignoring everyone.

Alex stood on the porch waiting, arms crossed, gaze lost on the empty street.

I approached her. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," she said. "Your mom is... nice."

"She's my mom. She's supposed to be nice."

"My mom is nice too, but in a different way. Your mom..." She paused, searching for words. "Your mom really listens when you tell her something. She's not thinking about what she's going to say next. She just listens."

"That's because she doesn't have three kids competing for her attention."

"Maybe," she said. "Or maybe it's because she's a good person."

She fell silent. I did too. The night wind moved the leaves of the trees, and in the distance, a dog barked.

"Leo," Alex said without looking at me. "Does your mom know? About... us."

"What about us?"

"That I'm your best friend. That we spend so much time together. That..." She paused. "That you like me."

My heart skipped a beat. "You think I like you?"

"I don't think. I know. Haley told me, and you didn't deny it."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. Words stuck in my throat, not because I didn't know what to say, but because anything I said would break the spell.

"It's okay," Alex said, her voice softer than I expected. "I'm not asking you to deny it. I just want to know if your mom knows."

"She doesn't know," I replied. "But I think she's figuring it out."

"And what does she think?"

"I think she thinks I'm an idiot. But an idiot with good taste."

Alex laughed. It was a small laugh, but genuine.

"Your mom is wise," she said. "Even if she still doesn't understand why you spend so much time with us."

"And you? Do you understand?"

She looked at me. In the dim light of the porch, with the streetlights casting shadows on her face, her eyes glowed.

"I'm starting to understand," she said. "I think you understand something I don't. Something I still don't know how to explain. But someday, I'll find the words."

"And me? Will I find the words?"

"Maybe," she said. "Or maybe they won't be necessary. Maybe some things are understood without words."

And then, without saying anything else, she got in the car. Phil started the engine with a smile and a final "Thanks for everything!" that echoed down the empty street.

I stayed on the porch, hands in my pockets, watching the car's taillights disappear around the corner.

 

Night, in the Kitchen

Susan was washing the dishes when I came in. Water ran over the china, and steam lightly fogged her glasses.

"Need help?" I asked.

"No, I'm almost done." She paused. "I liked your friend Alex."

"She's my best friend."

"I know." She stopped washing, dried her hands on her apron, and turned to me. "Leo, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you like her?"

The question was direct. I could deny it, say we were just friends, give an evasive answer. But something in her eyes, the way she looked at me with that mix of tenderness and concern, made me tell the truth.

"Yes," I said. "I like her."

Susan nodded as if she already knew. "And does she know?"

"She knows. But she doesn't want it to be more than friends. Yet."

"Yet?"

"She doesn't know what it means to like someone. It's never happened to her before. She needs time to understand it."

Susan looked at me for a long time. And then, with a smile more sad than happy, she said: "You're very mature for your age, Leo. Sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing."

"Why wouldn't it be good?"

"Because boys your age should be thinking about games and sports. Not about... complicated feelings. About waiting for someone to be ready to love you."

"She does love me," I said. "She just doesn't know how to say it. Doesn't know what to do with it. But she loves me. I know it."

Susan set the apron on the table. She came closer, took my hands in hers.

"When I met your father," she said, her voice softer than I remembered, "I also had trouble understanding what I felt. I came from a family where those things weren't talked about. Where love was something shown with actions, not words. And your father... your father waited. He gave me time. He never pressured me, never asked me to be something I wasn't ready to be."

"And what happened?"

"One day, I realized I couldn't imagine my life without him. And then the words came on their own."

She let go of my hands and kissed my forehead.

"You know how to wait too, Leo. That makes you more of a man than many adults I know."

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