Chapter 180 I am a Professional, I Usually Don't Laugh
"Horikita, what are you holding in your hand?" Hikigaya instinctively leaned sideways to check.
"...You, you come in first before we talk!" Horikita Suzune suddenly looked panicked. She grabbed him with one hand, forcibly pulled him into the room, and immediately shut the door.
*Click~* She quickly engaged the deadbolt!
"Eh? Horikita, what are you doing?"
Hikigaya was completely bewildered. Horikita Suzune bit her lip hard and remained silent.
"What on earth happened?" Hikigaya's expression couldn't help but turn serious.
"..." Horikita Suzune lowered her head, her mouth opening and closing several times as she hesitated. After a good while, she finally spoke slowly: "Statement for the record... this is just a minor accident.
Encountering this sort of thing in daily life... is also quite normal...
You are absolutely not allowed to laugh!"
As Horikita spoke, she used her left hand to brush aside the strands of hair on her forehead. Hikigaya had already faintly sensed that something was wrong, but he still feigned a serious tone: "Rest assured, I am a professional!
No matter how ridiculous the situation is, I won't laugh."
Hearing Hikigaya's guarantee, Horikita Suzune breathed a sigh of relief. Fidgeting nervously, she brought out her right hand, which had been hidden behind her back.
Her right hand was stuck inside a pink vacuum flask.
"!!! Mgh—"
Hikigaya's eyes went wide. He quickly covered his mouth with both hands, his face turning beet red.
"Pfft—" Ultimately, he couldn't hold it in and let out a loud burst of laughter!
"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!"
"You, didn't you say you were a professional?!" Horikita Suzune instantly flared up with embarrassment and rage.
"Sor—sorry! I really can't help myself!" Hikigaya laughed so hard he bent over and started pounding the floor.
"It... it just got stuck by accident while I was washing it... What's so funny?" Horikita Suzune spoke with a straight face, trying to prove this was just a small blunder of daily life.
If it were that group of "abstract" people from Class D, he wouldn't find it strange if their arms or even their heads got stuck in a vacuum flask. But it was specifically Horikita Suzune—this dead-serious expression paired with such a stupid act created a massive visual contrast!
"Okay, I'll stop laughing..." Hikigaya used his iron willpower to suppress the upward curve of his lips.
However, his serious expression made Horikita Suzune feel even more embarrassed!
"Tch! I admit this is indeed stupid. If you want to laugh, just laugh!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Hey! You're actually laughing!" Horikita Suzune was incensed.
She raised the vacuum flask on her right hand as if she were going to club him with it.
"Alright, alright~ I've laughed enough."
Hikigaya adjusted his facial expression and began to manually inspect the part where she was stuck. "
Your wrist is already congested with blood...How long have you been stuck?" Hikigaya asked with surprise.
Horikita Suzune avoided his eyes: "On... only a few hours..."
"You really can endure!" Hikigaya looked speechless: "If you couldn't get free yourself, why didn't you ask for help? If you told Chairman Horikita, he would surely come to rescue you immediately, right?"
Horikita Suzune reacted strongly: "Absolutely not! I'd rather stay stuck forever than let my brother see me in such a pathetic state!!"
"Then you might as well change your name to 'Stubborn-kita'." Hikigaya looked around and began searching the room for tools. "To increase lubrication, have you tried body wash or soap?"
"Do you think I'm stupid? Of course I've tried them!" Horikita Suzune looked frustrated.
"Let's try again. Doing it by yourself makes it hard to apply force properly." Hikigaya brought body wash and soap from her bathroom. Following her wrist, he poured some into the vacuum flask.
"Hiss—" Horikita Suzune knit her brows.
"Does it hurt?"
"It doesn't."
"It does, doesn't it?"
"Don't worry about it, just use force!"
"If I do that, your hand will get injured." Hikigaya rejected the brute-force method.
"Then what do you suggest?" Horikita Suzune was deeply distressed. Being stuck in the flask for so long with her hand all slimy was disgusting.
"Your body wash is too thin." Hikigaya rubbed the body wash with his hands; it barely produced any bubbles.
"I don't like things that are too sticky, and they take longer to rinse off."
'Great! That's very Horikita-style.'
"Unfortuntely, the one I use is also the quick-rinse type; the lubrication isn't enough." Hikigaya suggested an idea: "How about asking another girl to borrow some?"
"No!" Horikita Suzune refused flatly.
"Why?"
"I just can't!"
"At a time like this, stop worrying about your pride, okay?"
"It's not a matter of pride."
"Then what is it?"
Facing Hikigaya's questioning, Horikita Suzune simply turned her head away and stopped speaking.
"You are such a pain..." Next, the two tried several more times, but they still couldn't pull Horikita's hand out of the vacuum flask.
"Forceful demolition!" Horikita Suzune had finally lost her temper.
"Don't be silly, this is 304 stainless steel. Aside from calling the fire department, there's no way to break it." Hikigaya's words shattered her fantasy.
"So, we still have to find a way to increase the lubrication."
A glint flashed in Hikigaya's eyes as if he had thought of a good idea. He picked up his phone, preparing to contact someone.
"Hey! Didn't I say you can't tell anyone?" Horikita Suzune panicked instantly, pressing the vacuum flask against his chest.
"I know, I know. I'm just borrowing a tool, I didn't say it was about you." Hikigaya impatiently nudged her flask aside.
Then he dialed a number.
"For the Fish-Eye Boy to proactively seek me out, how interesting~~"
"Koenji?!" Horikita Suzune's eyes widened; she couldn't understand why he would contact that nonsensical man at a time like this.
"Koenji, I'm looking to borrow something from you. I wonder if it's convenient?" Hikigaya asked.
Unexpectedly, the decadent voice of a girl came through the phone.
"I hate this~ Koenji-kouhai, why are you taking a call at a time like this?"
Hikigaya froze. Horikita Suzune looked blankly confused.
"Get off!" A cold, low shout from Koenji came through the phone.
"Sorry for the intrusion!" Hikigaya was sensible enough to prepare to hang up.
"Wait a moment!
I wasn't talking to you...
Nanase-senpai, you get off first."
"Huh? Right at this time...?"
*Thud!* After some static on the line, Koenji Rokusuke spoke again: "Apologies, I was just handling a minor matter. Continue, Fish-Eye Boy~"
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