This was the time before they met Claire
Poppy is seen live streaming on her desktop. Everything is pink, her mousepad has an image of a sakura tree, her mouse, her keyboard, her monitor has a My Melody wallpaper on it, and her CPU is even adorned with pink-haired anime girls with actual figurines inside.
"Good morning, afternoon, evening everybody! This is Poppychu going live! And today I have my best friend Zephyr!"
"Sup guys" Yes Zephyr is here. He's waving
"So Zeph, just on topic of the stream; how often do you look at NSFW art, or just videos in general?"
Zephyr froze "Um… Err…"
"Be honest Zeph"
"I- I mean I catch glimpses of it when I'm browsing social media. But I don't actively search for it, how about you?"
"I know you're aware that I draw smut comics, so I do look for NSFW artworks…" Zephyr gives her a weird look.
"It's for reference okay?!"
Zephyr nods while looking away "Uh huh, sure buddy"
"Aaaaaaanyway, today we will be doing Rule34dle. In which we compare characters- usually two, and we pick which one has more results in Rule34"
"Hang on Pops, I've always heard that Rule34 thing, but never really knew what that meant."
Poppy spins herself on her gaming chair "Good question, rule 34 of the internet says in the website itself 'it it exists, there is porn of it'"
Zephyr's jaw dropped, he asks "So does this mean if I search Hello Kitty, does that mean I'll see…"
Poppy purses her lips and slowly nods at Zephyr
He gasps "What the actual fuck?"
"Yup, have you played dle games before?"
Zephyr crosses his arms "I think I've played Scrandle 2, and Flagdle. But not this one though, this is new to me."
"Okay Imma have to show you the ropes, in rule34- whenever you search for a character using tags, there's a number in between parentheses next to it, implying the amount of results the character has."
"You're gonna show porn on stream!?"
"No! Oh God no! We're just gonna look at the amount of results- ANYWAYLETSSTART!"
Left 4 Dead vs Bakemonotogari
"Whaddya think Pops?"
"I can't say- this one's pretty hard already. Let's bet on the anime!"
They lost, just short of 400 entries
Love is War vs Sojourn from overwatch
Poppy says "This one's easy!" She clicks Love is War"
Sojourn from overwatch vs Elio from pokemon
Zephyr's face contorted with contempt "That is a fucking child"
"Okay look man, for the sake of the game, because Pokemon is popular, it's gotta be Pokemon"
They click the kid and it shows 1000+ results
"One fucking thousand?!" Shouted Poppy as she leans her hands on the table
"People are jacking off to this?!"
"I know right?"
Lysthea Von Ordelia from Fire Emblem vs Broly from Dragon Ball
"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA"
"HACKHAHAHHACKHAHAAHAHA"
Both of them started laughing
"Dude, I barely watch anime! There is no fucking way, this bitch got more results than Broly!"
"For real Zeph! HAHAHAHAHA!"
It's short a hundred results from Lythea
"Zeph there's no fucking way that's just a thousand nine hundred plus, I literally just saw a hentai comic a few days ago!"
"Oh really? What did Broly do?"
Poppy starts sweating profusely "Err… He was training!"
"With who?"
"W- with Android 18?... Again, it's for reference okay!?"
Sonia the Hedgehog vs The entire videogame Skyrim
Poppy slowly shook her head "I have seen so many 3D porn of Skyrim characters there's no way they would lose to a furry"
Zephyr scratches his head "It's furries tho, do you know how horny those people are?"
"Hmm… You're right, this is pretty hard"
They contemplate for a good minute
Poppy says "Maybe always bet on the furries"
They lost
"Goddammit"
"You're a coward Pops, you knew in your heart Skyrim would win!"
"Excuse you! Weren't you the one who said always bet on the furries?!"
The entire Transformers franchise vd Full Metal Alchemist
"What's Full Metal Alchemist?" Asked Zephyr
"Oh dude, you gotta watch it, it's pretty good! Though, who do you think will win? Mech-heads or Weebs?"
Zephyr rubs his finger against his chin "Hmm… I think bet on the weebs this time"
They lost again
"Dang it! Why can't we get a win this time?"
Chopper from One Piece (Yes the anime is still ongoing 1000 years later) vs Marceline from adventure time
Zephyr smirked "Dude, Marceline is soooooooo hot"
"I know right? I would be so mad if she loses to Chopper"
"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA"
"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA"
Both of them were wheezing after she said that
Zephyr sighed "*hiss* this one's hard"
Poppy clicks "Eh~ I'm betting on Marcy"
They win, as they continued with a fist bump
Marceline from adventure time vs Glamrock Freddy
"Wiat- is Five Nights at Freddy's still relevant? Chat do people still play that game?...
Eh, whatever. Whatcha think Zeph? Do the furries win? Or the hottest woman in Ooo?"
Zephyr clicks his tongue "It's a bit hard- Let's bet on the furries"
"Nah, my gut says it's Marcy"
They click on Marcy… they won
"Phew!"
Suddenly Poppy started cackling at the next versus
Toad from Super Mario Bros. vs Saber from FGO
Zephyr scrambles his hands in front of Poppy "Okay! Okay! I know this is funny, but there is no way she's losing against Toad"
They lost, and by a thousand by the way
Zephyr shouted hysterically "NO! I refuse to believe that, there's no way he's got more!"
Toad vs Velma Dinkley
Poppy shook her head "I'm sorry Toad, you are not beating Velma"
"Yeah, Velma sparked a whole wave of nerd fetish"
She clicks Velma and they win, they hi-five each other.
Velma Dinkley vs
Both of them audibly gasped as their jaws dropped. Eyes sunken at the sight of who was going toe-to-toe against Velma Dinkley.
"Kremidal Swanson?!"
"Kremidal Swanson?!"
They looked at it for a hot minute right before Zephyr said.
"What the fu-"
"There's no way right? There's no way a juggernaut like Velma could possibly outnumber Kre-" She continues to click on Velma.
She lost
"THIRTY-ONE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE?"
Both jaws drop even further while their faces stretch even wider. Sharply gasping, echoing throughout the room.
The chat on the bottom left of the screen was spamming so fast that the stream even started to slightly lag.
"W- what do you mean 30,000+ results?!"
"Hey man! I'm just about to ask the same question!"
Both of them just sat in silence, soaking in the moment.
However, Poppy broke it.
"What does it look like?"
"POPPY!"
"Whaaaaat? Aren't you just a little curious? You'll never know, there must be some obsessed fan making AI porn of Kremidal. Oh! Maybe we can confront them!"
She searches for Kremidal's rule 34 on a separate screen, hidden from the stream. Once she finally arrived, her heart sank with a blood curdling scream.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Her fingers shuddering against her face, with her eyes sinking in her sockets.
"What? What does it look like?!"
She slowly turns her head at Zephyr, pale as a ghost she stammers.
"I- i- i- i- i- it's all hand drawn! ON PAPER!"