The Warehouse Ruins - Gotham Docks
The battle had lasted ten minutes. The district was flattened.
BOOM.
Lobo crashed into a shipping container, denting the steel with his spine. He laughed, spitting out a mouthful of blood that sizzled on the concrete.
"Is that all you got, Butler?" Lobo roared, standing up. "I've wrestled black holes! I've eaten cities! You hit like a girl scout!"
His wounds were already closing. The hole in his chest from my shadow-spear sealed shut with a wet squelch.
I stood on a pile of rubble. My suit was torn, revealing the black, chitinous armor of my true form beneath. My horns scraped the smog-filled sky.
Analysis: Physical damage is ineffective. His cellular regeneration adapts instantly to kinetic force.
"You are durable," I admitted, dusting off my sleeve. "Like a cockroach."
"And you're boring!" Lobo revved his bike. "If you can't kill me, I'm gonna frag the kid!"
He pointed his chain hook at Damian, who was still unconscious near the wreckage.
My eyes narrowed. The red glow intensified.
"I see," I whispered. "You rely on your biology. You believe that because you cannot die, you cannot lose."
I reached into the pocket of my tattered vest.
I pulled out a set of silverware. A simple silver fork and knife.
But they weren't silver. They were black, forged from the iron of the Ninth Circle of Hell.
"Let us test your digestion," I said.
The Debuff
Skill Activated: Gluttony's Rot.
I moved.
Lobo swung his chain. I didn't catch it this time. I dissolved into smoke, reforming directly in front of him.
Slash.
I plunged the black fork into Lobo's shoulder. I drove the black knife into his gut.
"Argh!" Lobo flinched. "Is that it? Cutlery? I've been stabbed with planets!"
He went to rip the utensils out.
He stopped.
His skin around the wounds wasn't healing. It was turning gray. Then purple. Then black.
"What the frag?" Lobo looked at his shoulder. The rot was spreading. It was eating his cells faster than they could regenerate.
"That is Necro-Venom," I explained calmly, stepping back. "It does not attack your body. It attacks the concept of your life force. It is a spiritual rot."
Lobo fell to his knees. He vomited black bile.
"It... burns..." Lobo gasped. "Make it stop!"
"Regenerate," I taunted coldyl. "Go on. Heal yourself, Main Man."
Lobo tried. His veins bulged. But the rot continued to spread. For the first time in centuries, the unkillable bounty hunter felt his mortality.
"You... cheated..." Lobo wheezed.
The Negotiation
I walked over to him. I placed my boot on his chest.
"I am a butler," I said, looking down at him. "I cheat so my Master does not have to."
I leaned in close.
"I can let the rot consume you. It will take a thousand years. You will be conscious for every second of it. You will be a sentient pile of sludge."
Lobo's eyes widened in genuine terror.
"Or," I continued, pulling a small vial of glowing blue liquid from my pocket. "We can renegotiate the contract."
Lobo looked at the vial.
"The antidote?" Lobo rasped.
"And a bonus," I added. "I know you breed Space Dolphins. I happen to know the location of a rare pod of Alpha-Cetaceans in the Vega System. Luthor does not know this. I do."
Lobo's ears perked up. Space Dolphins were the only thing he loved.
"The Alphas?" Lobo asked. "The ones with the gold fins?"
"The very same."
I held the vial over his face.
"The deal is simple. I cure you. I give you the dolphins. In exchange..."
I pointed to the sky.
"You go back to Metropolis. You find Lex Luthor. And you explain to him—physically—why it is a bad idea to hunt the Wayne family."
Lobo grinned. A painful, rotting grin.
"Luthor didn't pay me for the dolphins," Lobo grunted. "Cheap bald bastard."
"Do we have an accord?"
"Deal," Lobo spat. "Give me the juice."
The Departure
I poured the blue liquid into Lobo's mouth.
HISS.
Steam rose from his body. The black rot vanished instantly. His skin returned to its chalk-white pallor.
Lobo stood up. He cracked his neck.
"Woo! That hit the spot!"
He looked at me. He looked at the black silverware I was holding.
"You're a freak, Butler," Lobo said, but there was respect in his voice now. "A real freak. I like that."
He walked to his bike.
"I'm gonna go have a chat with Luthor. Tell him his credit is no good."
Lobo revved the engine. The bike hovered.
"Hey!" Lobo shouted. "Coordinates?"
I tossed him a microchip.
"Vega System. Sector 4. Tell them Sebastian sent you."
"Later, Frag-Face!"
ZOOM.
Lobo blasted off into the stratosphere, leaving a sonic boom that shattered the remaining windows.
The Aftermath
I exhaled. My demon form receded. The horns retracted. My suit repaired itself (mostly).
I walked over to Damian.
He was stirring. He sat up, rubbing his head.
"Titus?" Damian mumbled.
"He is safe," I said, pointing to the dog sleeping nearby. "I healed him."
Damian looked around the flattened warehouse. He saw the craters. He saw the black sludge on the ground.
"Lobo?" Damian asked.
"He... terminated his contract," I said, picking up Titus. "He had a sudden urge to visit Metropolis."
Damian looked at me. He saw the fatigue in my eyes. He saw the black blood on my cheek.
"You fought him," Damian realized. "And you won."
"I negotiated," I corrected. "Come, Young Master. Master Bruce will be worried. And I believe I promised you lasagna."
I carried the dog. Damian walked beside me.
He didn't say anything for a long time.
"Sebastian," Damian whispered.
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
I smiled.
"You are welcome, Young Master."
Metropolis - LexCorp Tower - Top Floor
Lex Luthor was drinking scotch, looking out at the city.
"The bounty should be collected by now," Luthor mused. "Even a demon can't stop the Main Man."
CRASH.
The window exploded.
A space bike flew into the office, crushing the mahogany desk.
Lobo hopped off. He cracked his knuckles.
"Hey, Baldy!" Lobo shouted. "We need to talk about my severance package!"
Luthor dropped his glass.
"Oh, no."
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