I was locked up.
With no food no water no bed no clean clothes. Nothing
Just the four thick brick walls ,and the metal door that has a huge bump in it from when I tried escaping ,by throwing my head at it to break out. It was very foolish of me, to think I could escape. I can't escape. I have no permission to escape. The thing is that I do not know from whom. I am hysterical and losing my mind.
I can't escape.
I can't escape.
I can't escape.
I can't escape.
I can't escape.
I can't escape.
I CAN'T ESCAPE. I HAVE NO PERMISSION TO ESCAPE.
Those words go through my mind every day. Ever since I was put here. And no. I have no food. But yet I am here somehow. I have been for all I remember. Which is nothing. Not eating really affected my mind. I have no idea what happened when I was born. Or is that normal? I have no idea. I have no idea if I even had a loving family or a broken one. Did I have siblings? Did I have parents or just one? how do I know to talk if I do not remember who taught me? why are these word so familiar with my thoughts. Did I go out and experience the world out of these walls?
I do not know who I am.
I do not know my name.
I do not know my family members names.
I do not know if I even have a family.
I might not.
or I might do.
Then my stomach growls from hunger. I am surprised, because after all this time I thought it was impossible for me to be more hungry than I already was.
I simply look at my stomach. Its plat, concerning flat. My rib cages are nowhere to be found. you can see my bones sticking out.
I then look around.To see if the insects in this place have pieces of food, so I can eat it. Even the smallest portion is enough for my hungry stomach. Just as I look a bit more through the dusty air and dirt floor. there are insects ,specifically ants, bringing crumbs of food from who knows where. But I am too desperate for food to care.
I try moving my body to the spot where the ants are coming from. The tiny crack in the brick wall.
My body trembles. I feel fragile. I feel like a bag of bones because technically I am. At this point I am most likely am.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of my body trembling and scaring the ants of. I get a few crumbs and eat them quickly. My body stops hurting so much ,but just a few crumbs are almost nothing.
I then collapse in the floor. I lay in the dirt floor as if it a soft, nice, bed. But even so how do I know how a bed looks or feels? I always ask that to my self to but I do not know. I might never know.
Then as I close my eyes to sleep. I swear I did not hallucinate it, the door opens!
I quickly stay straight sitting in my body butt. but then I collapse again, from the sudden waist of a lot of energy.
I surely hallucinated it.
Whoever left me here,left me here to decay. To become dirt. To die of either hunger or illness.
I was left here to die not to escape. I was left here to suffer not to know what non-dusty air looks and feels like.
left to not feel a bed.
left to not taste real food.
left to not know if I have a family.
left to not know if I can be out.
Left to become one with dirt and dust.