Among the nobles and imperial relatives, only Taikang Bo Zhang Guoji was willing to put forward a serious contribution, offering twenty thousand taels of silver and earning himself a promotion to marquis in return, which, depending on how one chose to interpret it, could either be called loyalty or a rather efficient investment.
As for the civil and military officials, their "contributions" ranged from a few dozen taels to a few hundred at most, amounts so symbolic that they barely qualified as participation, more like tossing a coin into a wishing well and hoping the Emperor would count it as devotion.
Emperor Chongzhen took one look at the total and understood immediately that this path was going nowhere.
So he changed the rules.
If voluntary contributions did not work, then they would no longer be voluntary.
At first, each government office was assigned a quota.
Then the system grew more refined, or perhaps more desperate, as quotas were distributed based on provincial origin, with officials from Jiangnan expected to produce eight thousand taels, those from Jiangbei four thousand, Zhejiang six thousand, Huguang five thousand, Shaanxi four thousand, Shandong four thousand, and so on, as though loyalty could be calculated by geography.
The officials looked at this arrangement and arrived at a simple conclusion.
If being an official meant having to pay the court out of one's own pocket, then perhaps the most logical solution was to stop being an official altogether.
And so they did.
One after another, the gentry submitted resignations, stepping away with remarkable unity, as if they had all suddenly remembered urgent personal matters that required their immediate attention far from the capital.
Among the eunuchs, Eunuch Wang Zhixin was known to be the wealthiest, with rumors claiming he had as much as three hundred thousand taels stored at home, a number so large that it practically glowed with temptation.
Emperor Chongzhen personally called on him to contribute generously.
Wang Zhixin responded with a sigh so sincere it might have convinced someone less informed.
"In recent years, my household has suffered greatly. There is little left to spare."
In the end, he offered ten thousand taels.
Which, for a man of his rumored wealth, was less generosity and more careful accounting.
The other eunuchs followed suit, each performing their own version of poverty with admirable creativity, some hanging signs on their doors declaring their houses for urgent sale, others sending antiques and curios to the market, all of them putting on a convincing display of financial distress, as though ruin had arrived just in time to excuse their reluctance.
And so the wrangling continued.
The capital remained trapped in endless negotiation, endless delay, a machine that consumed time and produced nothing.
Time passed.
A great deal of it.
Two months later, Lu Xiangsheng finally received the imperial order recalling him to defend the capital.
By then, however, the situation outside the city had already changed beyond recognition.
The armies of the Shared Governance faction, with the sole exception of Wu Sangui, who had yet to show his hand, had already arrived.
They did not rush forward in chaos.
They arranged themselves.
From three directions, they formed a tightening ring around the Imperial Capital, not as a mob, but as an organized force with structure and intent.
From the south came troops from Shandong, Anlu, and Sichuan.
From the west came forces from Shaanxi, Shanxi, and Henan.
From the east came armies from Jiangnan and the coastal regions.
Only Wu Sangui lingered unseen, hiding in the hills near the capital, waiting, watching, calculating.
On the city walls, Eunuch Cao Huachun stood with his hands behind his back, his gaze fixed on the formations below, his brow slowly tightening as he took in the sight.
He was not a military expert.
But he was not blind.
These troops were disciplined, their ranks steady, their presence carrying a kind of quiet confidence that spoke of training and purpose.
They were nothing like the decayed imperial forces.
They were nothing like the disorganized rebel bands of the past.
This was something else entirely.
"This will be difficult," Cao Huachun murmured, more to himself than anyone else. "Your Majesty… I fear we may not pass this trial."
Another senior eunuch, Wang Dehua, stepped closer, lowering his voice.
"In the past, the capital has been surrounded by the Jurchens more than once, and yet the city never fell. Perhaps there is no need to be so pessimistic."
Cao Huachun let out a quiet breath.
"In those times, we had relief armies from across the realm rushing to the rescue. This time…" He paused, letting the implication settle. "We have none. With only the troops inside the city, do you truly believe we can hold?"
Wang Dehua hesitated.
That was indeed a problem.
After a moment, he tried another angle, his tone cautious.
"The Shared Governance faction is far from unified. There are figures like Flat Rabbit, clearly little more than bandit stock, alongside former frontier officers like Chen Qianhu, and even princes such as Prince Tang, the Prince Fu heir, and the Qin Prince heir. Surely internal conflict is inevitable. Perhaps we can exploit that."
Cao Huachun nodded slightly.
"That is our only chance."
Then he added, almost under his breath, "If they give it to us."
Before the thought could settle, movement stirred in the enemy lines.
A single rider emerged.
No escort.
No formation.
Just one man on horseback, advancing calmly toward the city gates, stopping well within arrow range as if the distance meant nothing to him at all.
The boldness alone was enough to draw attention.
The man patted the sword at his waist and burst into laughter, his voice carrying clearly across the distance.
"Eunuchs on the walls, take a good look at this sword at my side. This blade exists to kill the wicked. One flash of cold light chills forty provinces, its energy stretching thirty thousand li. I have come to the capital for one reason, to cut down those officials who oppress the people. Do you know how long I have waited for this day?"
The guards on the walls said nothing.
They simply watched.
Flat Rabbit raised his voice further.
"The root of all oppression is that Emperor Chongzhen. Today, on behalf of all soldiers and citizens of the Shared Governance faction, I formally declare that he must abdicate at once and yield the realm to collective rule. Otherwise, do not blame me for what follows."
The words rang out with surprising force.
Even Cao Huachun felt a chill at their weight.
And then, just as the tension reached its peak, another voice cut through from behind.
Zheng Gouzi.
"Hey, Rabbit, since when do you use phrases like 'do not blame me for not warning you'? Where did you even learn that?"
Flat Rabbit turned around, visibly annoyed.
"This lord is a man of great learning and unmatched talent. Why can I not use a proper phrase or two?"
"Oh, there it is," Zheng Gouzi replied with a laugh. "That sounds more like you."
The Sichuan troops behind him burst into laughter.
"Exactly, that is our Rabbit!"
Flat Rabbit blinked, genuinely confused.
"What do you mean? I just used two more refined expressions. Did you not hear them?"
"Because those," Zheng Gouzi said, still grinning, "are exactly your level."
Flat Rabbit stared at him.
"?"
The tension dissolved.
Just like that, the suffocating atmosphere that had hung over both sides loosened, replaced by something almost absurd.
On the city wall, Cao Huachun straightened slightly, seizing the moment.
"Hero," he called out, his tone polite, even respectful, "you are the representative of the Sichuan Shared Governance forces, Flat Rabbit, correct?"
Flat Rabbit nodded.
"Ah, right, introductions. I almost forgot. That is correct. I am the representative chosen by the people of Sichuan. Flat Rabbit. Remember the name."
Cao Huachun continued smoothly.
"And may I ask, how exactly did you leave Sichuan alive? I was under the impression that no rabbit survives there."
Flat Rabbit froze.
The soldiers behind him froze.
For a brief moment, even the wind seemed uncertain.
Cao Huachun coughed lightly.
"My apologies. I was carried away by your… atmosphere and spoke out of turn."
Silence lingered for a heartbeat longer before he returned to business.
"As for your proposal regarding abdication, I am but a humble eunuch and cannot decide such matters. I will convey your request to His Majesty as quickly as possible. This will require time. I ask that you refrain from rash military action in the meantime."
Flat Rabbit nodded.
"Fine. I will give you time. Go and ask your Emperor."
Cao Huachun hesitated, then added with a trace of sincerity that felt almost misplaced.
"I truly do not wish to correct you, but His Majesty is not yet thirty. He is not an old man."
Flat Rabbit went silent again.
Behind him, Zheng Gouzi burst out laughing.
"You see, Rabbit? When you act unserious, even your enemies stop taking things seriously."
Cao Huachun did not respond to that.
Instead, he asked a different question, one that carried far more weight.
"One more thing. Can your words truly represent the entire Shared Governance faction? Or will Prince Tang have one opinion, the Qin Prince heir another, Chen Qianhu yet another? If your positions are not unified, His Majesty cannot possibly give you a single answer."
The moment the words left his mouth, both Flat Rabbit and Zheng Gouzi broke into grins.
"Well now," Zheng Gouzi said, eyes narrowing with amusement, "even at a time like this, you are still trying to sow discord."
Flat Rabbit tilted his head, studying the man on the wall with renewed interest.
"This eunuch…"
He paused, then chuckled.
"…is kind of interesting."