Transcendent Chat Group
Xiangling:
Um… ahem… Mr. Zhongli—Your Excellency, I'm really sorry. I truly didn't mean to scold you.
Xiangling:
It's already an honor for you to eat at Wanmin Restaurant!
Seeing this nervous message, Zhongli felt a hint of helplessness.
This was the downside of having one's identity exposed.
People who once interacted naturally now unconsciously placed distance between themselves and him.
Thinking of this, he found himself cherishing Hu Tao even more.
She might be unreliable at times—
But she was one of the few who could genuinely ignore status and treat him as an equal.
After a brief sigh, Zhongli looked back at the chat.
Zhongli:
No matter. It was an unserious commentary—no need to take it to heart. Besides, the cause wasn't yours…
Xiangling finally exhaled in relief.
Whew—
Thank goodness.
Then—
Lumine:
Exactly! Objectively speaking, this really isn't Xiangling's fault. It's clearly Zhongli's fault for eating without paying!
Paimon:
That's right! Didn't the light screen say it already? Zhongli not paying has literally hindered Liyue's development!
Paimon:
It even affected Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's stock price and the food industry's cash flow. Truly heinous! (🐶)
Alice:
Wuwuwu, poor Xiangling. Zhongli has no money, Hu Tao uses funeral packages to settle debts… (crying.jpg)
Furina:
Ahem… it may be inappropriate, but those lines—
"my entire family tree wouldn't be enough to repay Zhongli,"
and
"I don't even have a partner yet, but my granddaughter's grave is already built"—
they're really something… (trying not to laugh.jpg)
Barbara:
Sounds absurd, but the more you think about it, the more sense it makes! (🐶)
Kamisato Ayaka:
Top-tier eloquence~ (🐶)
Xiangling:
...
Seeing the blame drift toward the Geo Archon, several adepti immediately stepped in.
Cloud Retainer:
How could this be the Geo Archon's fault? He had perfectly valid reasons in the video!
Moon Carver:
Exactly! Rex Lapis founded Liyue—by some logic, he is everyone's ancestor! Calling him Xiangling's father's ancestor isn't wrong!
Mountain Shaper:
Indeed! Then as the light screen said, he was eating his own feast. Do you pay Mora to eat your own feast? Of course not!
Madame Ping:
Ahem… the three old friends are correct. Liyue has no such tradition.
Xiao:
As expected—there really is a reason behind the Geo Archon's actions! (confident.jpg)
Yae Miko:
Oh? Then does that make it Hu Tao's fault? (🐶)
Hu Tao, who had been happily immersed in her brilliant business ideas, instantly panicked.
Why was the blame suddenly thrown at her?
Hu Tao:
What does this have to do with me? I wasn't the one eating!
Hu Tao:
I even kindly paid Zhongli's bills—otherwise Liyue's food industry would've collapsed! (righteous.jpg)
Nilou:
Key point—paying with funeral packages. (🐶)
Hu Tao:
Hey, I had no choice! The consultant bleeds Wangsheng dry—what else do I have but packages? (shrug.jpg)
Hu Tao:
If merchants think "my entire family tree wouldn't be enough," no problem—I've got more tricks!
Hu Tao:
Extra ones can be converted into after-sales service! One-year replacement, three-year repair!
A thousand-year shop—honest business!
The chat fell into strange silence.
After-sales service… for funerals?
One-year replacement?
Three-year repair?
Absolutely cursed.
But… thinking carefully—
She wasn't wrong.
It wasn't her responsibility in the first place. Paying at all was already generous.
Zhongli's logic made sense.
Hu Tao's logic made sense.
Xiangling's logic made even more sense.
So the question became—
Whose fault was it, really?
For the first time, the chat group faced an unserious video that was both ridiculous and logically airtight.
Everyone was confused.
Then—
Lumine:
Furina, dear Hydro Archon, embodiment of justice in Teyvat!
Lumine:
As the God of Justice, how should this case be judged? How many years? (🐶)
The chat instantly perked up.
Oh? Passing the ball to the Hydro Archon?
Interesting.
Fontaine — Palais Mermonia
Furina:
...
She was stunned.
What?
She was just eating popcorn!
Why was the case suddenly thrown at her?!
"That executioner…"
Furina puffed her cheeks in annoyance.
But she had no choice—she had to respond.
Judging Zhongli?
Absolutely not.
Last time he brought in Yanfei and nearly sent her to prison.
Hard pass.
Hu Tao?
Didn't make sense.
Xiangling?
Even worse.
"None of this works! How am I supposed to judge this?!"
She clutched her head in frustration.
At that moment, Neuvillette coughed lightly.
"Ahem. The wallet."
"There's still another wallet."
Furina froze.
Then her eyes lit up.
Oh.
Right.
That.
She gave Neuvillette a thumbs-up.
"Well done, my loyal subordinate~"
And immediately turned back to the chat.
Transcendent Chat Group
Furina:
Ahem! As the great God of Justice, this case is simple!
Furina:
Xiangling, Zhongli, and Hu Tao are all justified. None of them are at fault!
Furina:
The only guilty party is—Fatui Harbinger Tartaglia!
Furina:
If the wallet hadn't gone missing, Zhongli wouldn't lack Mora, Hu Tao wouldn't be dragged in, Xiangling wouldn't scold anyone, and Liyue's food industry wouldn't suffer!
Furina:
This caused massive collateral damage.
Verdict: compensate first—then death sentence, immediate execution! (serious.jpg)
The chat exploded.
This… actually worked?!
Lumine:
Logical and convincing! As expected of the God of Justice! (🐶)
Zhongli:
Ahem—judging by common sense, this is indeed reasonable. (🐶)
Hu Tao:
Exactly! Tartaglia is the true culprit! Wangsheng was dragged into this! (🐶)
Xiangling:
As expected of Teyvat's embodiment of justice! (🐶)
Yanfei:
Support the Hydro Archon. Tartaglia is guilty! (🐶)
Venti:
Ehe—death sentence, immediate execution~ (🐶)
Yae Miko:
Death sentence, immediate execution~ (🐶)
Below Mt. Tianheng
Tartaglia had already escaped Liyue Harbor and shaken the pursuit slightly.
He checked the chat—
And went blank.
Death sentence?
What happened while he wasn't looking?!
He scrolled up.
Then understood.
Zhongli didn't pay for food.
"…And how is that my fault?!"
He was speechless.
Before he could argue—
"Over there!"
"The Yaksha is almost here!"
"Don't let him escape!"
Keqing, Ganyu, and Yelan closed in.
"Damn it…"
Tartaglia bolted again.
What kind of sin was this?!
The Villa
Luo Chen stared at the screen.
"…They even pinned this on Tartaglia?"
As expected of Furina.
A moment of silence for Childe.
But—
This was just the appetizer.
The real nonsense was coming next.
He cleared his throat.
"Ahem. By now, everyone should understand Morax having no Mora."
"Let's continue reviewing his retirement life."
"Second point—dancing."
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor
"Dancing?"
Hu Tao blinked and turned to Zhongli.
"Consultant, you learned this after retirement?"
"Zhongli dancing…"
Venti rubbed his chin, eyes sparkling.
"That sounds interesting."
Zhongli fell silent.
He watched performances.
He never danced.
Yet the light screen had brought it up.
A deep sense of unease crept in.
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine:
Dancing? So far we've only seen it twice, right?
Paimon:
Yep! Barbara's idol dance, and Ayaka's Heron Dance! Totally different—but both amazing!
Alice:
No no no—there's another! Barbatos' seductive dance~ (evil laugh.jpg)
Venti:
Ehe~
Yae Miko:
So the question is—what kind of dance would the Geo Archon do? (popcorn.jpg)
Kamisato Ayaka:
Since he's retired… maybe something like elderly exercise dancing? (guess.jpg)
Charlotte:
Uh… martial god exercise…
Nahida:
Considering this is an unserious review, he'll probably dance the same one as Barbatos.
The chat went quiet.
That dance…
On Zhongli?
Everyone inhaled sharply.
Too terrifying.
Too exciting.
The Villa
Luo Chen smiled.
"This dance is performed together with a foreign friend from Fontaine."
"Let's watch."
He clicked play.
[Dragon Dance — "Toothless"]
Performers: Morax · Neuvillette
Fontaine — Palais Mermonia
Furina froze.
"…Neuvillette too?"
Then—
She burst out laughing.
Neuvillette stiffened.
Bad memories surfaced.
This wasn't another ambush, was it?
With dread, he looked up at the screen.
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