After a while...
Now, I couldn't tell you exactly how long "a while" was.
It was...
A while.
Trust me.
Eventually, Jeremiah's sobs faded into quiet sniffles.
Zen silently reached into his bag and handed him a packet of tissues.
Always the prepared one.
Boy Scout behavior.
"Thanks..."
Jeremiah muttered, his voice rough as he blew his nose.
Feeling marginally more human after crying his eyes out, Jeremiah looked at the three sitting beside him.
He couldn't help laughing at himself.
He'd spent all this time thinking they were these hopelessly innocent little beans.
When, in reality...
They'd all survived things no one their age ever should've had to.
"...Maybe I should stop judging people the second I meet them."
He frowned.
...
"Nah."
"I can still judge."
"I'll just... give them the benefit of the doubt afterward."
"There."
"Compromise."
"I still get to judge people's asses."
Satisfied with this revolutionary character development, Jeremiah nodded to himself.
"Thanks..."
He smiled at the three of them.
"You guys really helped me."
"...Surprisingly."
Jordan grinned.
"Well."
"I'd say our work here is done."
"I'm so happy for you, noona!" August beamed.
Zen gave Jeremiah's hand one last reassuring squeeze.
"Baby steps."
Jeremiah returned the smile.
"...Yeah."
"Baby steps."
A genuine smile.
Not the carefully crafted one that hid behind sarcasm and attitude.
Just...
Jeremiah.
Unfortunately...
The universe apparently heard the words baby steps and immediately decided to test him.
Because the studio doors opened.
"Jeremiah?"
Toma stepped inside.
"...Are you he..."
He froze.
Red eyes.
Puffy cheeks.
Tear-stained face.
Every protective instinct in his body immediately woke up.
Caveman mode activated.
Unga bunga.
Jeremiah crying.
Must protect.
"What happened?"
Toma asked quietly.
"Why were you crying?"
Contrary to what everyone might expect...
He didn't rush over.
He approached slowly.
Carefully.
Like someone trying to earn the trust of a frightened stray cat.
"What are you doing here?"
Jeremiah asked, his voice still rough from crying.
For Toma...
That alone felt like progress.
Jeremiah wasn't avoiding him.
He wasn't running away.
He was actually talking to him.
Then Jeremiah spoke again.
Still in that soft, raspy voice.
Toma's brain promptly short-circuited.
...This is not the time.
He closed his eyes.
Took one slow breath.
Then another.
He forcibly redirected every single intrusive thought into the nearest mental dumpster.
Focus.
Sad Jeremiah first.
Arousal panic later.
"I..."
He finally answered.
"I didn't see you at dinner."
"So I came looking for you."
Three heads whipped toward one another.
"Dinner?"
August's eyes became saucers.
"WAIT!"
"It's dinner already?!"
His soul practically left his body.
"AHHHH!"
"Shibal!"
"Ahn Jae hyung is gonna kill me!"
He sprang to his feet.
"Noona!"
"I gotta go before I become tomorrow's obituary!"
He bolted toward the exit.
As he passed Toma, he suddenly stopped.
Turned.
Raised a determined fist.
"Toma hyung!"
"...Fighting!"
Then he vanished down the hallway like he'd been launched out of a cannon.
Jeremiah blinked.
"...Did..."
"...Did August just say shibal?"
Jordan nodded as though this happened every Tuesday.
"...Yes."
"Yes, he did."
Jeremiah stared into the middle distance.
"...The fuck?"
His entire worldview had just shifted.
How could someone that precious casually drop a swear word like that?
Reality was broken.
While Jeremiah continued processing this crisis, Jordan and Zen quietly stood.
"We should go."
Jordan smiled.
"We should probably make sure August doesn't accidentally run into a wall."
Zen nodded.
"See you later."
He said it himself.
Not through the phone.
Toma's eyes widened.
First Mikko.
Now Jeremiah.
Zen was speaking to more and more people.
As Zen walked past Toma, he suddenly stopped.
Pulled out his phone.
Typed something.
Then silently held up the screen.
It read:
Please don't fuck this up.
Toma stared.
Zen calmly pointed two fingers at his own eyes...
Then pointed them at Toma.
I'm watching you.
Only then did he leave to catch up with Jordan.
Toma remained rooted to the spot.
"...Did..."
He blinked.
"...Did Zen just threaten me?"
For a kid who barely spoke...
He somehow had one of the loudest warnings Toma had ever received.
****
Watching Zen silently threaten Toma was...
Oddly satisfying.
Jeremiah couldn't help letting out a small chuckle.
Toma looked between the studio doors and Jeremiah.
"...What exactly happened in here?"
Jeremiah smiled faintly.
"...A lot."
"A whole lot."
Silence settled between them.
Neither moved.
Toma didn't dare step any closer.
He was terrified that one wrong move would make Jeremiah bolt again.
Then...
Jeremiah took the first step.
One.
Then another.
Until they stood only a couple of feet apart.
Close enough to reach out.
Far enough that either of them could still run.
"I'm sorry."
Jeremiah finally said.
"For acting like a bitch."
"And..."
"For the way I treated you."
"You didn't deserve any of it."
Baby steps.
...
Actually...
Scratch that.
This wasn't baby steps.
This was adulting on nightmare difficulty.
Owning up to your mistakes?
Half the grown adults in the world still hadn't unlocked that achievement.
So honestly...
Good for him.
Toma smiled sadly.
"I'm not gonna lie."
"It hurt."
"I know."
Jeremiah lowered his head.
"I know it did."
More silence.
Then Toma quietly asked,
"...Can you tell me why?"
His voice was careful.
Gentle.
Like he was asking permission to step inside someone else's wounds.
Jeremiah hesitated.
Then...
He made the biggest leap of faith he'd taken in years.
He told Toma everything.
Not the shortened version.
Not the sanitized version.
Everything.
The parts he'd left out earlier.
The humiliation.
The fear.
The shame.
The nights he'd convinced himself nobody could ever genuinely want him.
The entire time...
He couldn't bring himself to look Toma in the eye.
Because deep down...
He knew.
None of what had happened justified how he'd treated Toma.
Toma had only ever been kind to him.
And Jeremiah carried that guilt with him.
Yet...
As the words left him...
They didn't feel quite as heavy anymore.
Somehow...
Sharing the burden made it easier to carry.
When he finally finished...
Silence returned.
Then...
Warm arms wrapped around him.
Jeremiah stiffened in surprise.
Toma held him gently.
Not tightly.
Not possessively.
Just...
Safely.
"I'm so..."
Toma's voice shook.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through something that horrible."
Jeremiah slowly melted into the embrace.
"...So..."
He laughed weakly.
"I guess..."
"This is the real me."
"The whole bad bitch persona?"
"...Mostly a defense mechanism."
He swallowed.
"So..."
"If what you're feeling is just curiosity..."
"Please stop now."
His voice cracked.
"Before it gets worse."
"Because..."
He squeezed his eyes shut.
"I really like you."
"No..."
"I think I've loved you for a while now."
"I don't even know when it happened."
"I just..."
"I fell."
"Really hard."
"And it terrifies me."
"I'm scared that one day..."
"You'll realize I'm not worth it."
"And throw me away..."
"...like everyone else did."
Toma gently pulled back just enough to look at him.
Their foreheads rested together.
"So..."
"I'm gonna be honest too."
He smiled.
"When we first met?"
"...Yeah."
"I was curious."
"I won't lie about that."
"But somewhere along the way..."
"You stopped being a curiosity."
"You became..."
"...you."
"I started looking for you without realizing it."
"You became my first thought every morning."
"My last thought before I went to sleep."
"You even invaded my dreams."
Jeremiah laughed through his tears.
"I couldn't get rid of you."
"No matter how hard I tried."
Toma chuckled.
"So don't flatter yourself too much."
"I absolutely blame you for that."
Another laugh escaped Jeremiah.
Then Toma's smile softened.
"I don't know what this makes me."
"I don't know if I'm still straight."
"If I'm bi."
"If I'm something else entirely."
"I honestly don't know."
"And right now..."
"I don't think I care."
"Because the only thing I'm absolutely certain of..."
He gently cupped Jeremiah's face.
"...is you."
"I know how I feel when I'm with you."
"I know I miss you when you're gone."
"I know seeing you cry hurts."
"And seeing you smile..."
"...feels like I won the lottery."
His thumbs gently brushed away the remaining tears.
"So..."
"I'm asking you."
"Don't push me away because you're trying to protect yourself."
"Let me decide."
"If I leave one day..."
"Let it be my decision."
"Not yours."
A fresh wave of tears welled in Jeremiah's eyes.
"So..."
Toma smiled.
"You made me fall for you."
"I'd say you owe me at least one date."
Jeremiah laughed.
A genuine, messy laugh.
"...You're unbelievable."
"I've been told."
Toma grinned.
"So..."
"What do you say?"
Jeremiah looked into his eyes.
Really looked.
There was no pity.
No curiosity.
No mockery.
Just sincerity.
He was still terrified.
The fear hadn't magically disappeared.
Maybe...
It never completely would.
But...
For the first time in years...
He decided to trust his heart.
"...Okay."
A tiny word.
A huge leap.
"...Let's try."
And somehow...
Those two words felt far braver than "I love you."
****
Then Toma hesitated.
"...Can I kiss you?"
He asked it so softly.
Not because he lacked confidence.
But because, after everything Jeremiah had shared...
The last thing he wanted was to assume.
Jeremiah looked at him.
His cheeks slowly turned pink.
"...Yeah."
Almost a whisper.
"I'd love that."
Toma let out the biggest sigh of relief.
"Thank God."
He leaned in.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Giving Jeremiah every chance to pull away.
He never did.
Their lips met.
Tentative at first.
Two people learning each other's rhythm.
Then, little by little...
The hesitation melted away.
Jeremiah smiled into the kiss.
Toma laughed softly.
That tiny laugh was all it took.
The kiss deepened naturally, unhurried and full of everything neither of them had been brave enough to say out loud until now.
Apparently...
They were both rather fond of kissing each other.
Who knew?
One minute slipped into another.
At some point, Toma instinctively wrapped an arm around Jeremiah's waist.
Jeremiah leaned into him without thinking.
Somewhere along the way, Toma gently lifted him just enough to keep him close.
Neither of them could've said exactly when that happened.
It just...
Did.
Eventually, Toma backed them toward the nearest wall, making sure Jeremiah had something solid behind him as they continued sharing quiet, breathless kisses.
Then...
A voice echoed through the studio.
"BIIIIIIIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHH!"
The studio door swung open.
Pink.
Aqua.
Kitty.
Javi.
"Hennie, we came to get you because you aren't at the cafeteria for dinn..."
Pink stopped.
"...Oop."
The four Kweens froze.
Time froze.
Jeremiah and Toma froze.
They looked like two deer caught in headlights.
Except...
Toma was still effortlessly holding Jeremiah.
And Jeremiah was still very much pressed against the wall.
For the second time that day...
The Kweens were absolutely gagged.
Only...
This time...
In the best possible way.
Without missing a beat, Pink casually pulled out his phone.
"Aunt Vicky!"
His voice suddenly became absurdly cheerful.
"Hi! How are you?"
He looked over his shoulder.
"Y'all."
"Say hi to Aunt Vicky."
The other three instantly understood the assignment.
"Oh my God!"
Kitty nodded dramatically.
"Hi, Aunt Vicky!"
"We were just about to have dinner!"
Aqua enthusiastically joined in.
"Tell Uncle Vicky we said hello!"
"There isn't an Uncle Vicky..."
Javi whispered.
"Shut up and commit to the bit."
The four of them turned around in perfect synchronization and calmly walked back out of the studio.
As though they hadn't just interrupted the most romantic moment of the week.
The door clicked shut.
Silence.
Then...
Jeremiah and Toma burst into laughter.
Still chuckling, Toma gently set Jeremiah back on his feet.
"So..."
He smiled.
"When are you taking me on our first date?"
Jeremiah folded his arms with a playful smirk.
"We've got auditions on Friday."
"My focus is on getting that lead vocalist spot."
"The date can wait."
Toma raised an eyebrow.
"So..."
"We're rivals now?"
Jeremiah's signature bad bitch confidence finally returned in full force.
"Oh, absolutely."
"So you'd better bring your A-game."
"Because that lead vocalist position?"
He pointed at himself.
"Mine."
Toma grinned.
"I guess..."
"May the best singer win."
Jeremiah shot back without missing a beat.
"Then start preparing your acceptance speech for second place."
"Ooooh."
Toma laughed.
"I also like this version of you."
He leaned in and stole one quick peck from Jeremiah's lips.
Immediately...
A voice drifted in from outside the door.
"...Are y'all done?"
Kitty sounded dramatically inconvenienced.
"I need my bubble bath by nine."
Pink peeked around the doorframe.
"Seriously."
"We're all very happy for you."
"But some of us would also like dinner."
One by one...
Four heads stacked on top of each other in the doorway.
Pink.
Aqua.
Kitty.
Javi.
Like the world's nosiest totem pole.
"I ain't gonna lie..."
Javi grinned.
"The making up?"
"Very cute."
"The kissing?"
"Also cute."
"But..."
"We're hungry."
Aqua nodded enthusiastically.
"And if we get there late..."
"They're gonna finish the fried chicken."
Jeremiah immediately grabbed Toma's hand.
"C'mon."
He smiled.
"We shouldn't keep these bitches waiting."
As they walked toward the group...
Kitty dramatically recoiled.
"Bleeeurgh!"
"The sweetness!"
"It's giving diabetes!"
"Stay six feet away from me."
Jeremiah laughed.
Toma laughed.
The Kweens laughed.
And together...
The six of them headed toward the cafeteria.
For now...
The angst had finally loosened its grip.
Not because every wound had magically healed.
But because healing had finally begun.
And for tonight...
That was more than enough.