"Fat sheep? Are we... are we going to rob them?"
The fatty asked, a little nervous.
"Rob them? That's what barbarians do. A true Treasure Hoarder gets rich using his brain. A lackey who doesn't use his brain stays a lackey for life. You understand?"
the skinny man said.
"I still don't get it."
The fatty shook his head.
"Are you even a Liyue native? How can you not understand plain Liyue speech?"
The skinny man smacked the back of the fatty's head as he spoke.
"But when we used our brains to make money before—reselling books—didn't we lose ten or twenty thousand Mora?"
The fatty said hesitantly.
"You don't know shit."
The skinny man smacked the back of the fatty's head again. "That time, we bought the books before lining up a buyer. This time, we lock in the buyer first, then go buy the books."
"So... Boss, what do you mean?"
the fatty asked.
"Don't they love reading Fang Qiu's books?"
The corners of the skinny man's mouth curled up slightly. "We'll talk to them about Fang Qiu's future books—offer to queue up for them. With their kind of money, they ought to name us a pretty good price."
"Big bro, you mean every release day from now on we get up early to make money?"
The fatty's eyes lit up. "Sounds pretty good."
"Are you stupid or what?"
The skinny man smacked the back of the fatty's head again. "We're Treasure Hoarders. Do Treasure Hoarders do honest work?"
"So... Boss, what do you mean?"
the fatty asked hesitantly.
Afraid of getting hit, he didn't dare venture a reckless guess.
"Obviously, we swindle the deposit and bolt."
The skinny man's lips curled as he sneered. "We're Sister Bao'er's people. No matter how rich they are, they can't buy anyone in the underworld to touch us. As for the Millelith—so long as we leave no evidence, they can't do a thing to us either. I made a point of watching them just now: they don't have Visions. Which means when the time comes, we give them a little threat, and they'll just have to grit their teeth and swallow the loss."
"Boss, you're a genius."
the fatty said. "So how much should we ask for?"
"Don't you worry about how much. Later, you just keep your mouth shut like a good boy."
The skinny man waved a hand.
"Got it, Boss."
The fatty nodded.
After tidying up their gear, they walked into the teahouse and made their way up to Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper.
"Gentlemen, just now we saw you entrusting someone to queue up and buy books on your behalf. My brother here and I specialize in lining up to buy Fang Qiu's books. Might I ask—next time, would you like someone dedicated to queue for you? Whether it's film tickets, books, or opera tickets, we'll have them ready in advance, and you need only pay the original price."
the skinny man said politely.
"And how do you charge?"
Mountain Shaper raised an eyebrow, glanced at the skinny man, and asked.
"After all, whether it's Fang Qiu's books or the tickets, they're all hard to get your hands on the moment they drop. So we're offering monthly and yearly plans—five thousand Mora a month, twenty thousand Mora a year."
The skinny man grinned. "No cheating the young or the old. If there's any deceit, a full refund."
"A full refund alone isn't enough. If there's any deceit, not only must you give a full refund, but every service due must still be delivered without exception—and whatever you prepare must not cost us a single Mora. If you agree, I don't mind paying ten years' fees for three people."
Mountain Shaper said flatly.
Ten years!
A fat sheep indeed!
Twenty thousand a year, ten years is two hundred thousand!
Three people makes six hundred thousand!
Though he'd known these two were rich, he'd never imagined this rich.
He'd originally figured he'd make a few tens of thousands of Mora off them—never dreaming he'd earn six hundred thousand Mora in one go.
These two were way too rich and dumb, weren't they?
Didn't they know to try a cheaper plan first?
And here he'd had his whole spiel ready.
A real fat sheep.
Only, for some reason, feeling the other man's calm gaze, the skinny man felt an inexplicable unease, as if something were off.
But the arrow was already on the string; there was no holding back now. So he gritted his teeth and said, "No problem."
"Here's six hundred thousand."
As he spoke, Mountain Shaper tossed out a large pouch of Mora.
Thud.
The heavy pouch of Mora slammed onto the wooden table—as though it had slammed onto their very hearts.
Both Treasure Hoarders felt their hearts lurch violently, and couldn't help swallowing hard.
"Deal."
The corners of the skinny man's mouth lifted involuntarily as he reached for the heavy pouch of Mora.
Only, the moment his hand touched the pouch, it suddenly froze stiff.
"Hm?"
The skinny man started, then discovered to his horror that he couldn't move.
It was as if he'd been ghost pressed in the dead of night—his whole body, save for his lucid mind, seemed to have lost all control.
Yet he was clearly still wide awake.
Just as terror gripped him, Mountain Shaper picked up the teacup at his side, took a light sip, and spoke flatly.
"This matter you just spoke of—was there any deceit in it?"
The skinny man froze, about to deny any deceit, but the moment he opened his mouth, his very soul nearly fled his body in fright.
"There was. I planned to take the six hundred thousand Mora and run."
Mountain Shaper wasn't the least bit surprised by the skinny man's answer. He said mildly:
"The contract has just been sealed. Since what you said was a lie, you must now fulfill it. I have already placed a curse upon you. Starting today, regarding Fang Qiu's books—whether we need them or not—along with film tickets and opera tickets, you shall prepare three free copies of each, then wait for us here. Should there be a shortfall on any single day, the curse upon your bodies will activate. As for what the consequences are—you won't want to know."
As his voice fell, the two Treasure Hoarders finally regained control of their bodies and dropped down onto the ground with a thud. Though it was the dead of winter and light snow still drifted outside, cold sweat crawled all over them.
Looking at the two young men before them, their eyes brimmed with terror.
What had just happened lay completely beyond the scope of their understanding.
"Understood?"
Mountain Shaper asked.
"Understood, understood."
The skinny man, face crumpled as if he were about to cry, nodded frantically like a pestle pounding garlic.
"Good. Now off with you."
Mountain Shaper said.
Hearing this, the two scrambled and stumbled their way out of the teahouse.
"Boss, what do we do now?"
the fatty asked, face crumpled.
"What else can we do? Just remember to get up early next release day..."
The skinny man wiped the cold sweat from his face and said with a tremble.
That feeling—of his life resting entirely on the other man's passing whim—was simply too terrifying.
"Boss... how about next time we just go back to robbing... It feels like every time we use our brains to make money, we end up losing it... How many times has this been now...?"
the fatty said miserably. "If we keep losing like this, we won't even be able to afford food."
"Damn it, where exactly did it all go wrong?"
The skinny man's face filled with resentment. "By all rights, this shouldn't have happened..."
"Boss, what about those two over there? One look and you can tell they're not locals—clearly soft persimmons we can squeeze however we like."
The fatty pointed at Lumine and Paimon, who had just collected their sample books and letters from the Liyue Publishing House not far off and were now making their way toward a teleport waypoint.
"I've figured out the reason. It's because I've got an idiot like you at my side that I'm so cursed with bad luck. Open your dog eyes and look closely—that's the famous Traveler. She's the sort who punches out Stormterror and kicks the Sea God. Robbing her would be a death wish, wouldn't it?"
The skinny man smacked the back of the fatty's head and cursed.
"Oh..."
the fatty said obediently.
"'Oh' my ass. Those two placed a curse on us. If we go robbing and get caught by the Millelith, and it holds us up from buying books next release day, we're finished—don't you get it?!"
the skinny man cursed.
"Then, Boss, what should we do?"
the fatty said.
"I hear... they're hiring temporary workers down at the Liyue docks right now..."
Little did the Traveler and Paimon know they'd nearly been marked as targets by the Treasure Hoarders. Having collected Fang Qiu's new books from the Liyue Publishing House, they were now preparing to head to Mondstadt and Inazuma.
"Fang Qiu, honestly. She could've just handed the letters straight to us—why make the editor forward them along? Doesn't she find that a hassle?"
Paimon said, holding three envelopes as she flew.
"Maybe she didn't want to trouble us—worried we'd deliver them ahead of time for her?"
Lumine said.
"Hmm... now that you put it that way, it really is possible. That's very much her style."
Paimon nodded. "Right, so where do we go first?"
"Let's go to Mondstadt first, then Inazuma."
Lumine said. "If we go to Inazuma first, we'll have to spend time delivering letters, and it's easy to fall behind schedule."
"True enough."
Paimon nodded.
So the two of them went together to the teleport waypoint, and Lumine laid her hand over it.
The instant her hand touched the teleport waypoint, a faint light shimmered up from it, and the next moment their vision blurred and they vanished from the spot.
When their sight returned, the scene of Liyue Harbor—its thousand sails at anchor, light snow drifting—had disappeared, replaced by Mondstadt City, where the north wind whistled and the great windmills spun round and round.
They didn't run into any acquaintances, and soon finished delivering the books, then took the teleport waypoint all the way to the Grand Narukami Shrine in Inazuma.
They had only just regained their sight, before they could even take in their surroundings, when a teasing voice rang out.
"These books seem to have come a bit later than usual. Don't tell me you two have been slacking off?"
Hearing the voice, they hurriedly turned to look, and saw a stunningly beautiful woman in luxurious shrine maiden robes standing behind them, regarding them with a suspicious eye.
It was none other than Yae Miko.
"O-of course not."
Under Yae Miko's stare, Paimon felt a twinge of guilt and stammered out.
"Is that so?"
Yae Miko stepped up before Paimon and Lumine, gave a light sniff, and then said, "This scent... it's the scent of lying."
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