Inside the empty, eerie church.
Ian felt his landing had been exceptionally cool.
However.
A heavy, suppressed breathing sound—reminiscent of the time Batman discovered Robin had secretly taken the Batmobile for a joyride—muffled its way up from beneath his feet. To be precise, it came from exactly where his knee was currently pressing down.
"You know, even if you really like acting like a hoodlum, you're currently squeezing my knee joint, right?"
The cool female voice shattered the dead silence of the church. The voice sounded quenched in ice, yet wrapped in a layer of volcanic magma ready to erupt.
Despite the calm tone, every word dripped with the scent of "fuming rage." Only then did Ian realize his hand was still firmly gripping the other person's knee.
He yanked his hand back as if he'd touched a live wire, leaning back so hard he nearly sat on the floor.
"What! Killing intent!"
Ian looked down sharply.
He saw his feet were firmly planted on a teenage girl.
She wore a deep purple hooded robe, with silver-white hair spilling from the edges of the hood. Her facial features were as cold as an ice sculpture—to put it less poetically, she had a total poker face.
The girl's purple eyes gazed quietly at Ian.
There was no ripple of emotion within them.
It was as if the person being stepped on wasn't a being of flesh and blood, but a roadside stone tablet.
This was Raven—one of the most mysterious and dangerous demigods in the DC Universe, a member of the House of Charity, daughter of Trigon, an empathic emotional suppressor, and the potential host of the Soul-Self—a list of titles that was already one-tenth as long as Ian's various aliases.
Air froze for a second.
The only reason Raven hadn't struck yet was because her temper was exceptionally good. Of course, it also helped that she knew exactly how bizarre this guy was—he was someone who treated Hell Lords like snacks.
"How is it you? Raven-chan!"
Ian's eyes widened as he recognized the poker-faced girl. She was the mysterious girl from the Trigon's minions incident who could summon shadows and tear through space at will.
The confusion on Ian's face was instantly replaced by the joy of meeting an old friend in a far-off land.
However, the joys and sorrows of men are not shared.
Raven's lips visibly twitched. A crack finally appeared in those emotionless eyes—a precursor to an erupting volcano of fury. She took a deep breath, trying her best to keep her voice steady.
"Please... get off me. Right. Now." Before she even finished, pale purple energy began to congregate in her raised hands.
Like two flickering ghostly fires, they emitted an eerie luster in the dim light of the church.
This was her usual intimidation tactic. In the past, whenever she showed this hand, even demons from the Hell dimensions would back off. She was certain this bizarre middle schooler would have the sense to move.
However.
Ian's reaction completely exceeded her expectations.
*Slurp~* Under Raven's dumbfounded gaze, Ian suddenly leaned forward and bit toward the purple energy in her palm. The movement was as fast as a pouncing predator; his teeth didn't even touch her skin before he swallowed the condensed energy whole.
*Gulp.*
A soft sound.
The violent stream of purple energy turned into a gentle brook, sucked down Ian's throat until not a drop remained!
[Ding! High-level energy intake detected. Entropy Overlord EXP +1399.]
The cold system notification rang in Ian's mind. He smacked his lips with a satisfied expression, muttering:
"Truly, a sweet-talking boy gets the candy."
"Burp~"
Ian let out a satisfied belch. A certain power within his body seemed to grow a notch with delight.
Raven felt a sudden urge to hit someone. Fortunately, Ian wasn't the type to enjoy sitting on people; he had his own mounts, and more than one at that.
Because of this.
After a short delay, Ian seemed to remember something. He took a light hop backward, coming to a stop, and watched Raven lying on the ground looking as though she was questioning the meaning of life.
"????"
Raven was indeed questioning her life. She lay on the floor, and for a second or two, her mind was a total blank.
Her magic... was eaten? Eaten by a human middle schooler like he was sucking on a jelly packet? This completely transcended her understanding of reality. That power was something even she had to channel with extreme caution!
And yet, it was just... digested by him? Even from their first meeting, Raven knew Ian had a pica for strange things, but this level of it flipped her worldview upside down.
"Why aren't you moving? Do you need CPR?"
Ian pulled out a massive hammer.
"!!!!"
Raven jolted. She scrambled up from the floor, frantically dusting off her clothes.
"What exactly is in your stomach?" Raven stared as Ian put away the hammer, her face carrying a hint of lingering fear.
Of course, there was also confusion. In all her years, she had never met someone who treated her shadow energy like "sugar." This was beyond bizarre. It was absurd.
If her temper hadn't been honed through years of fighting her inner demons and self-suppression, one of them would have likely been blown into fireworks by now.
"I have a stomach in my stomach," Ian replied with a medical fact. Then, his eyes fixed intently on Raven's forehead.
"Your complexion doesn't look good. Are you sick? Have you had any dizziness, fatigue, or loss of emotional control lately?" Ian acted as if he hadn't sensed Raven's irritation at all. He showed his "warm-hearted guy" side.
Of course, it was the type of warmth that came with an ulterior motive.
In the center of Raven's forehead—there was a faint purple mark, like a closed eye, containing an abundance of energy Ian couldn't even fathom.
"Let me take a look. Maybe I can cure it." He reached out toward the "third eye" on Raven's forehead, his internal calculator already running:
'That one bite gave me nearly 1,400 EXP. The energy hidden in this forehead must be even more pure. If I can 'shear' a few more bites, that would be wonderful.'
Maybe he could level up directly. To achieve his goal, playing dumb was no disgrace.
"Don't come over here!"
Raven's eyes sharpened. Her body slid back half a meter instantly, narrowly avoiding Ian's wandering hand. She really hadn't expected this middle schooler to be not only bold but so incredibly pushy.
"I am not sick," Raven emphasized.
"Then it's even more dangerous!" Ian shook his head solemnly. "Failing to notice your own changes means your internal balance mechanism has failed."
"I suggest immediate Entropy Therapy." Ian's other hand reached directly for the third "eye" on Raven's forehead—the core seal that held back her demonic father, Trigon. It was also the source of all her power.
"I said, don't come over here!"
Raven's figure blurred as she retreated to a corner. Deep, ominous purple energy began to gather rapidly between her raised hands, like two miniature dark stars, emitting heart-stopping energy fluctuations.
The intimidation factor was high.
But thinking about the fate of her energy just moments ago, Raven deflated the next second, merely making a serious request.
However, Ian was relentless, like a persistent salesman.
"Really, don't be polite! I'm a legally certified doctor! I found a master who specializes in professional fakes and spent exactly three thousand dollars! It's as professional as it gets—Medical License, Psychology License, even an Interstellar Medical Permit! All of them!"
Ian had no intention of giving up, sticking to her like a piece of gum. One chased, one dodged. Ian was like a shadow, his movements comical yet precise—sometimes rolling, sometimes teleporting—while Raven shifted constantly, creating barriers with purple light, warping space, and even briefly opening rifts to the Underworld to try and lose him.
"Just once! Let me touch it! One suck is fine too!" Anyone listening without context might think Ian was saying something scandalous, but in reality, he just had a pure desire for leveling up.
"You..."
Raven was nearly fuming at Ian's nonsense as she dodged again. Ian was desperately trying to touch Raven's third eye; the scene looked like a battle between immortals, and no one would have guessed it was a "doctor" caring for a "patient."
Just then.
A muffled cough echoed through the church, breaking the bizarre chase. Jonathan, Jordan, and Damian were tied up tightly, but it didn't stop them from communicating. They had been hanging there for a while and hadn't dared to speak until they could no longer help themselves.
"Seriously, can't they slow down a bit?" Damian was dizzy from watching them, his gaze switching back and forth between Ian and Raven. Finally, he leaned into Jonathan's ear and whispered: "Idol... does he know this crazy woman?"
Damian furrowed his brow—a trait inherited from his father. In his eyes, anyone who could effortlessly capture the three of them and hang them up was definitely not a normal person.
"This..." Jonathan shook his head, his face full of confusion. He had known Ian for fifteen years and had never heard him mention a girl in purple.
Keep in mind, whenever Ian made someone's blood pressure spike outside, he would always come home and tell his big brother about it.
"I don't know... Ian never mentioned her... but they do seem to know each other?" He tried to think back, having a faint, blurry impression, but he couldn't recall clearly.
"Ask me, ask me," Jordan was the only one with a "revelation" expression. A light of understanding flashed in his eyes as he spoke with an air of having seen through everything.
"Ah... it all fits now."
He constructed a complete plot in his mind and shared it out loud.
"This woman! She captured us for no reason, scared us, and interrogated us with weird questions! It turns out her ultimate goal wasn't us at all!"
Jordan possessed a bit of Homelander's traits—confidence being one of them. He looked intently at Ian, who had resumed the chase, his voice ringing with conviction.
"This woman is here to draw Ian out! It has to be!" His voice echoed in the church, completely ignoring Raven's darkening face and Ian's interested expression.
Jordan continued his drama-style speculation: "There is only one truth! Ian must have been playing around outside and left some debts of passion! Now she's come knocking on the door! Look at how panicked he is to 'examine' her; maybe... maybe there's even a child! She's here to demand answers from the heartbreaker!"
"Oh! My super vision should have seen through this relationship sooner!" Jordan tried to focus his eyes to see, only to feel his eyes being struck by an invisible fist.
Everything went blurry instantly; his eyelids swelled until they covered his eyeballs. Ian had struck him.
"Evil Jordan! You're definitely going to go tell Mom that I got someone pregnant before marriage!" What Ian was talking about was clearly not the same thing Jordan was talking about.
But it was better to be safe than sorry. Between brothers, one must take such precautions.
"Fine, fine! I knew it!" Jordan clearly misunderstood Ian's reason for "striking."
"Shut up!"
Raven's anger finally reached its boiling point. She suddenly stopped her dodging, the purple light in her eyes flaring like burning violet flames. She instantly locked onto Jordan, who was still rambling and letting his imagination run wild.
In the next second, Jordan discovered in horror that it felt as if an invisible hand was choking him—no, more accurately, the space where his mouth was warped slightly, and then... his upper and lower lips seemed to vanish completely, as smooth as if no organ had ever grown there!
"Mmph?! Mmph mmph mmph!!!" Jordan could only let out terrified groans, his eyes bugging out as he frantically tried to push with his tongue, only to hit smooth skin.
He had been forcibly silenced.
And almost at the same time.
"Dammit! Jordan, you made me get distracted checking on my baby!"
Ian, who had jumped again to avoid Raven's sudden burst of energy, found that a swirling purple miniature portal had appeared where he was going to land.
With an "Oops!" he fell into it. A second later, his head popped out from a stone carving decoration high on the church ceiling. His body from the neck down, however, was stuck on the other side.
Thus, a strange sight appeared in the church: Jordan had lost his mouth and was making terrified groaning sounds; Ian's head was hanging upside down from the ceiling while his body was stuck in the floor.
"But in all honesty, this feeling is pretty amazing."
Ian's head swung like a decoration. He swayed back and forth, and instead of panicking, he first looked at Raven with genuine admiration and offered a compliment.
"Wow! Space manipulation? Forced reality modification? Miss, your methods are quite fancy. I knew our DC Universe could produce its own Scarlet Witch... Violet Witch!"
This was sincere appreciation and praise. Of course, Ian's attitude didn't last long. Soon, he added a defensive turn to his tone.
"Oh, by the way, to prevent you from getting any wild ideas because of what I just said and thinking you need to take responsibility for me, let me explain."
"I've already evolved to the point where I can go out and find embryos myself. I can nurture whatever kind of baby I want—I'm incredibly independent and self-sufficient."
"So, don't get any funny ideas." Ian gave Raven a preemptive warning. Then, his upside-down head turned with difficulty toward Jordan, who was panicking below because he'd lost his mouth.
"See, Jordan? I told you to stop reading those novels. You're in the final stages of the illness—hallucinations and rambling. Now you have to choose between this Gold Mouth and Silver Mouth."
Ian spoke in an earnest, "older brotherly" voice.
Under the gaze of Jordan—who was groaning in muffled grievance and unable to say that he had been reading the novels Ian wrote, his whole body jumping in anxiety—Ian's body on the ground continued to move. He pulled a genuine Gold Mouth and Silver Mouth out of his pocket.
Plug and play.
Brotherly affection led Ian to generously help Jordan choose the Gold Mouth.
"Dammit! My mouth is full of static!" Jordan could finally talk.
"Nonsense! That is clearly pure gold!" Ian felt a bit guilty, so his voice automatically jumped an octave.
The scene was truly hard to evaluate.
"?????"
Raven was completely dumbfounded. She didn't understand.
It had only been two weeks since she'd seen him; how had Ian suddenly developed so many new tricks?
***
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