I woke up much later and felt much better for it, too.
By force of habit, I found myself back in the shower. By the time I remembered that I had already taken a shower this morning, it was too late. I was soaked, so I took another fruity cleansing shower and thought about things.
Mostly, I was thinking about how to be a more stable wolf. I was thinking about how my dad managed to give stability and confidence to his pack even though he had dropped his kid off the back of his pickup truck.
There was a knock on my bedroom door.
"Princess, we are due for Alpha Duty in 30 minutes," Harvey informed me politely from outside my room.
Harvey was really stable too. Calm and on track.
"Princess?" Harvey prompted.
"Yeah. Be out in a bit," I called back. I heard him move away from the door.
What to wear, what to wear? What's Sam wearing today?
The Alpha Duty—what would it be? I spied my favorite blue hoodie vest jacket hanging behind the bedroom door. Bingo! My lucky vest jacket! As in, I just decided to call it that from now on.
Okay! I pulled on a dark blue pair of jeans, re-wore the ribboned halter, and added a black round-neck T-shirt and my leather jacket. Can't wear white pants or sneakers, no matter how cool they looked. Blue suede boots wouldn't work either. I found a pair of black waterproof hiking boots. Yeah, those would do. I wondered who picked these for me. So practical! This would do for either indoors or outdoors.
In the living room, all three Betas were in their beta circle, their phones glowing in their hands like prayers. Dad, Mum, and Savy were not around.
I saw lunch on the coffee table and sat down in front of it. They joined me immediately. Poor starving betas.
We ate silently at the beginning, and then Harvey reported, "Alpha Henry requested us to forward the leaked documents back to him. He sends his thanks and extends his assistance to you in the future."
Harvey smiled. "That call was well placed, Princess."
Was my good beta praising me? I felt a little embarrassed by that.
"Yeah, except that Henry said it was like talking to a five-year-old," I burst out.
Ben choked on his Coke at that.
"Whatever you did, just do it more," Killion smiled blandly.
I patted Ben on the back as he recovered. "I need to up my game here."
I supposed I was talking more to myself than them.
"How do you mean, Princess?" Harvey asked.
I honestly had no idea.
"Sam, think out loud so we can figure it out together," Ben suggested.
But if I did that, they would know I was weak.
"Or you could give us a clue and we would guess," Killion offered.
I laughed at that.
I had to be the luckiest Alpha in the world to have these three.
How should I put it? Okay. Here goes:
"Henry said I was like a five-year-old on the phone, but that was only because I was sleep-deprived. We all know that I'm usually at least nine!"
The guys wore matching smirks.
"Sometimes you're almost 12," Ben allowed magnanimously.
Hahaha. Very funny.
"And Alpha James thinks I'm some kind of spoiled princess who doesn't even know how to cut my own meat, no thanks to you two!" I accused Killion and Ben.
This was when I noticed that while we were all eating grilled chicken, mine was the only one that had been cut into cubes and served with ketchup on the side—just the way I liked it.
"Ah! See! I even eat like a kid!"
Killion smiled. "In the Lorent Pack, a very pampered daughter is a sign of status and wealth. There is a story about a beautiful Luna who was spoon-fed all her life."
I stopped to stare at Killion. That was about the dumbest thing I had ever heard.
"You can't possibly believe she had never snuck anything into her mouth on her own!" I said.
"Dog, don't distract her. Okay, Sam, so what's the big deal?" Ben asked.
"The big deal is that every Alpha I've ever met thinks I'm a brat. It's not that I care, but it isn't going to do our pack any favors," I continued. "I won't always have my dad to back me up. Even though my wolf looks like my dad's, my human form looks like…"
"Like the goddess herself," Killion offered.
"I was going to say a bratty princess, but yeah, okay, let's go with that," I joked.
"The point is you don't like your image, then," Ben tried to clarify the issue.
"No, it's not what I like or don't like about my image. It's more of… in the long run, I need to… I don't know, we need a way to deal with outsiders without me having to chew off their heads in order to work anything out together."
Killion was beaming.
"What?" I asked.
"I thought you'd never ask, goddess," Killion smiled.
"What? What?" I asked.
Killion was smiling so beautifully, I was sure it was going to be something fun, or at least not boring.
"What you need is a public image," Killion said. "It's quite common in other packs for Alphas to employ such consultations. And I happen to know one of the best image consultants around."
"You do? Who?" I asked.
"Yours truly." Killion bowed his head mildly but boasted in the next breath, "I didn't become top fight dog just because of my good looks and mad physical skills."
"I was the one who advised Rebel on how to establish his career in the dog cage too," Killion continued.
"Sam isn't a fight dog, dog," Ben told him.
Harvey was very quiet. I knew he was listening… processing…
"No, she's not, but we work with what we've got," Killion said. "The point is to emphasize a consistent image to help people recognize and remember you."
"Let me put it this way: the Alpha princess, three hot betas, the power surges and the wild hair… who turns out to be a crazy powerful fighter. It's very marketable."
"She's an Alpha. Not a fight dog," Ben growled.
"Wait, Killion does have a point," I said.
"You liked the crazy powerful fighter part, didn't you?" Ben said.
"Yes, but no," I said. "I get it. We need some kind of public image. It'll help people know what to expect when they work with us. And more importantly, it has to safeguard our pack's well-being."
"An alternative could also be to hide your gender," Harvey spoke now. "So far, in email correspondence, most people have assumed the future Alpha Sam of Night Leaf Pack is male."
I remembered how Henry's mum had thought I was a guy the moment she heard Henry call me Sam.
I also remembered how everyone at Henry's had assumed that Killion was Alpha Sam.
"This would only work if Sam took an elusive position…" Killion caught on to that idea quickly. "Something mysterious like the Shadow of the Moon Goddess."
"We can't exactly lie outright. And she'll have to attend the Alpha conferences," Ben pointed out.
"Yeah, but if I walk next to Killion, we won't have to say a thing. People see what they want to see. Like when we were at Henry's, they all thought Killion was Alpha Sam at first," I said.
"At first," Ben repeated. "There is no way we can keep up the pretense. No way."
"She won't be able to speak directly, except through us via mind-link in that mode. But it would keep her safer, since all her interactions would be through either one of us," Harvey was thinking it through aloud.
"By the time they realize she isn't a man, the Green Packland will be united, and her reign will be established," Killion said. "She could be the Shadow of the Goddess… with her three hot betas fronting her every decision."
Okay… I had a feeling either way, Killion was determined that there would be three hot betas. Hahaha.
"That could work," Ben agreed.
So I have two options:
OPTION A: The Princess Alpha — but this would push me into the forefront of attention. I would be the Keys or Rebel of the Fight Cages. I wasn't sure I wanted that kind of attention.
OPTION B: The Shadow of the Goddess — this way I let my betas step forward as my representatives. I stand back and pretty much pose in the background silently. But it'll give me space to think.
Usually, I would have made up OPTION C: DO SOMETHING CRAZY, but OPTION A and OPTION B were crazy even for me.
I'm not sure what other kind of crazy there was left.
How about an OPTION D: ALL OF THE ABOVE?
"We have to leave, Princess," Harvey said, consulting his watch.
I nodded. "Let's think about this some more and see if there are other options or combinations."
I was starting to talk like my dad.
I stood up, and everyone stood up with me.
"Let's go."
And as I walked down the corridors with the three betas behind me, the realization dawned upon me… I am the Alpha. I am Sam. When did that become not good enough?
This may sound crazy. Heck, it might be the OPTION C: DO SOMETHING CRAZY and just be myself.
Actually, that's what Dad did.
Which left me with my current favorite OPTION D: ALL OF THE ABOVE.
Because OPTION A and B sounded pretty fun too. If only this were a dream without consequences.
I'd pick OPTION B just to see their faces when they realize Alpha Sam was just a girl, and then OPTION A because Ben was right—I did like the idea of being a crazy powerful fighter.
And then, when I got tired of messing around, I could fall back to OPTION C and be just Sam.
Because at the end of the day, I liked being just Sam… It's what I've been all my life.