The day he was born, it felt as if the word started plotting against him.
Being just another man on this Earth would have been enough for him, but fate tasked him with something more.
In a family where love was more present than food, he would have grown up to be the one who pulls them out of poverty.
In a world that didn't care about him, he would have grown to live a fulfilling life regardless.
Yet such a life was not what he was given, and barely out of his teenage years, Giovanni was forced to join the army. That was the beginning of his tragedy, but it wasn't the moment he had lost his smile.
In the army, life was hard for the man. Ever since his first day, he had gotten bullied by everyone around for looking so weak.
"Look! Giovanni is on the floor again!" a younger boy shouted towards the rest, pointing at the man he had pushed with ill intent.
Even so, he tried to look on the bright side. As a part of the Reman army, his income had more than doubled, and as he counted the coins in his pouch he put some aside to send home, so that he could finally give back to his loving family.
It was during those moments—when he found reason to keep going—that Giovanni tensed up, expecting someone to kick him back down. That kick came in the form of a promotion.
Now, with responsibility weighing down on him, Giovanni had to go through even more hurdles. The ones he commanded cared not for what the man ordered, and the ones still higher up than Giovanni took advantage of the man with every chance they got.
"What's with that sleepy face? Didn't I tell you you'll have to take my shift?" said a lieutenant to the man who had taken another two shifts before.
"But hey, a promotion means even more money to send back home!"
Giovanni fiddled with his fingers as he waited for his term to end. He wanted to see the ones he cared for and tell them all about his life across the sea. He was growing contempt with what life was throwing at him, so naturally, it had to hit him once again.
This time, it hit him with a losing battle.
All alone after losing his squad, Giovanni found himself face-to-face with death. Only that death took the form of a blue bird. Or was that bird the blessing he was waiting for?
After the beast saved his life—willingly or not—Giovanni happened to stumble across the one thing his general was looking for.
That's when the man's life took a turn for the better. Or at least it should have, for he now had power, status, and everyone around sucking up to him. All except for that one general, and that man called Aurelio was enough to make Giovanni's mind twist and turn, for the general abused the unfortunate man with every chance he got.
One day, Giovanni naturally snapped. Realizing he had long forgotten to show emotion, the man found himself with a twisted face and rage welling up inside him.
Nothing could make the man feel good anymore, yet his expression didn't listen to him. His face smiled when it shouldn't and cried when he wanted to scream.
But there was a silver lining to his growing rage.
"I'll take down everyone who has wronged me in this life!" the man proclaimed to himself.
His thoughts felt foreign, as if his mind wasn't completely his anymore. Giovanni lost everything else from sight, including the dear family he wanted to return to.
The one thing he was left with was the burning desire to cut everyone down. He wanted not revenge but freedom, for it was freedom he would gain if there was nobody left in his way.
That thought alone was what carried the man to his last battle. That thought alone was what the man held with him in his final face-off, and that thought alone was what brought the last smile—a genuine smile—to the man's eyes during his last fight.
And that smile stayed until it could no more.
What surrounded the man from all sides was lightning, and that lightning only got stronger, yet even then he could dodge. Whatever he couldn't dodge, he would block. That was the way he, Giovanni, wanted to win the fight. He would give his everything to stay alive, for he only needed one blow once the boy who was now calling himself Leo grew tired.
He thought he could win. It is at these moments when you believe you can do something that life takes a turn, yet could he really blame it on life? Maybe this Leo was never a boy Giovanni could beat in the first place.
Everything lit up around the man. It was a bright purple, a warm purple, a painful purple, but Giovanni didn't mind.
There was no escaping it. As if being trapped within a star, the man's body started melting. No, it had no time to melt, so it vaporized, leaving no trace behind.
There was no pain anymore. Of course, a body that doesn't exist can't physically hurt anymore, but that wasn't the only pain Giovanni felt fading.
"Kill him! Take his head! Cut him down and you'll be free! Cut him down and 'I' will be free!"
In a corner of his mind, a voice kept screaming, as if Giovanni remembered something he had no business remembering, but it was too late. Whatever that voice was, it was not the first time he'd heard it, but it was the first time it alone resounded.
Haha… The others must have drowned it out… a thought ran through his mind.
"Maybe next time, little one…" he answered the lone, struggling voice that begged him to keep going, drowning it out in the process.
It's really quiet now…
It's been a while since Giovanni had taken a break—a moment to be alone with his thoughts. The last time he did, there was too much noise for him to enjoy it, so he had given up. With time, the noise only got louder, and the more he ignored it, the harder it became to quiet it down.
Whether the silence began as he was fighting or only now, he did not know. All Giovanni knew is that the silence felt good.
There, within the star-like ball of electricity that was eating at his body, he felt good. As if time had slowed down, he got to enjoy not having to do things.
Aware there was no getting out, the thought that nobody else would wrong him settled in. With no way forth, there was nobody who could block him. With nothing left to do, he was finally free.
There was no regret to leave behind from his miserable existence, for there was no joy that he had been given to lose in the first place.
Yet, if there was one thing that bothered Giovanni, it was how he would never get to see his loving family again.
With almost nothing left of his body, Giovanni had but a thought to guide him, and that thought was of the last people he remembered caring for.
It's okay… I've saved lots of money…
As if that had always been what drove him, Giovanni comforted himself, envisioning his loved ones moving to a new home and living the life they deserved. Next to them, there was a man Giovanni didn't recognize at first.
Ah… So that's how it should have been…
That man standing next to his parents was "what should have been." Compared to the tired lieutenant, that man seemed human, unrecognizable from what Giovanni had become as he proudly wore a beautiful sword at his hip—a sword which was all he needed to protect his loved ones.
That thought alone made the Reman feel a slight pain in his now vanished chest. But pain was fine. Without pain, he wouldn't have known the sweet embrace of relief.
Now that everything was gone, the last one to vaporize was the man's smile. A smile he never thought he would wear again.
And so, feeling as light as a feather, the last bit of what used to be a body turned to nothing, and the man called Giovanni lost his life to war and revenge he didn't ask for.
And he was fine with it.
*****
For one moment it seemed as if the world had exploded. All he could see around him was pure white, and in that pure white, Nayavu and Leo glanced at one another.
"Thank you…" the young Reman said.
"What's there to thank ME for?" Nayavu asked in return. "You are me, and I am you."
"But thanking myself would be weird, wouldn't it?"
"Haha! I didn't know that small Reman boy had a sense of humor. I guess I should also pat myself on the back."
"Then pat yourself twice. Once for being funny and again for being strong."
"So, did I finally bite the curb for good? How come I'm talking to myself right now?" Nayavu continued to speak to the boy in front of him. No, 'he' continued to speak to 'himself.'
"Aren't you/we just going insane or something? Since when has death been our/your end?"
As far as 'he' remembered, this was the first time 'he' got to speak to one of his past lives. Whether it was something going on in 'his' mind or something that really happened—no, it was surely because of the fatigue.
"Now, turn off this bright globe. You have another fight to take care of."
"Do I? Or do you?"
"What are you even saying? Does it matter who is who?"
"No, I guess it doesn't. It has always been 'me'" 'he' acknowledged with a confident smile.
Reaching an agreement, the two boys faded within the white-purple light.
The light had been really loud until then, but after it faded, the world around was silent. So silent, in fact, that Nayavu felt a bit uncomfortable.
The boy looked at the last spot where he'd seen Giovanni. As expected, the lieutenant wasn't there. In fact, the lieutenant wasn't anywhere anymore.
Leo's revenge mission had been fulfilled, but there were no trumpets to sound the victory. The fight that lit up the sky ended abruptly, and the aftermath only consisted of wide eyes staring at the boy high up in the sky.
It didn't feel refreshing. It didn't feel liberating. It didn't feel depressing. It didn't feel tiring. If anything, it felt like it hadn't even happened.
Giovanni Giorgio was gone, yet the lieutenant had no idea what he had done wrong. Leo had taken him out, yet the man had no idea who Leo was.
Nayavu wanted to think that Leo could now rest well, but 'he' was also Leo, and his search for answers was far from over. Even the battle he was part of right now wasn't finished.
In the end, Giovanni was only another tragic victim of 'his' curse. What pushed him to the brink of insanity remained a mystery. Did Nayavu play a role in it? Was the man doomed to lose himself regardless?
"But if he's no more, then there is nobody to capture you…" Nayavu spoke to the sky, thinking about the girl he had lost to Giovanni. For the first time, the boy felt like he might have changed the future, and he might have saved someone.
Giovanni's death was a tragedy for now, but this tragedy prevented the next one. Whether the lieutenant himself knew this or not, Nayavu could not check.
With no future left for that man, nobody would come to know the horrors that this cursed one remembers so vividly. Nobody would come to know the lieutenant with stained honor becoming a mercenary and doing unspeakable things to two powerless kids. All they would know was that an Inyankaran boy killed a skilled Reman, taking away a bright future, and making a mother cry at home. Nobody would know the truth but 'him'.
Now, once again, all 'he' could do was keep looking forward—
"I needed that man, you know?"
—towards a forward that was taking the shape of another fight.