The air still carried the scorching scent of clashing energy.
Goku slowly descended onto the ring, his body trembling slightly from the immense strain of the Kaio-ken. Sweat soaked his martial arts uniform, clinging tightly to his frame.
Yet on his face was a pure, satisfied smile.
He had won.
A truly exhilarating battle.
"Vegeta… that guy is really getting stronger and stronger."
Just then, the host's voice—cracking with excitement—blared once more through the loudspeakers.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Please remain calm! The match is not entirely over yet!"
"Next, what's about to take place is the true final battle of this World Martial Arts Tournament!"
"Featuring our great world martial arts champion—Mr. Satan!"
"Versus—Son Goku!"
The host's voice brimmed with reverence and passion.
The entire venue, after a brief moment of silence, erupted into cheers ten times louder than before!
"Satan! Satan! Satan!"
"Champion! Champion! Champion!"
"Oh? There's still another match?"
Goku scratched his head in surprise and looked toward the opposite end of the ring.
Amid the thunderous cheers, a man with explosive hair, a muscular build, and a flowing red cape leapt onto the ring in an extremely flamboyant pose.
Mr. Satan.
He raised both hands, waving to the crowd, wearing a confident who-else-but-me smile as he basked in the mountain-and-sea-like adoration.
"My people! Did you see that?!"
Mr. Satan grabbed the microphone, his voice booming.
"The previous match was very exciting! This Son Goku clearly has some tricks! His illusions were quite well done!"
"But!"
His tone suddenly shifted as he pointed at Goku.
"Magic is still just magic!"
"Before absolute power, everything is an illusion!"
"Now, allow me—the world champion, Satan—to expose these flashy but impractical tricks for you!"
"Ohhhhh—!!!"
The audience went completely wild.
They were fully convinced that the earth-shattering battle between Goku and Vegeta had been nothing more than advanced illusions or special effects.
Now, the real fight was finally beginning!
Piccolo's mouth twitched as he silently turned his head away.
Another second of watching this would be an insult to his eyes.
"These people… how are their brains even wired?"
Krillin covered his face, unable to bear watching any further.
Loren, however, watched with great interest, a playful smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Here it comes. Here it comes.
The classic, never-ending Dragon Ball tradition.
"Mr. Satan, please enlighten me."
Goku politely bowed and assumed a fighting stance.
"Hmph! Take this!"
Mr. Satan roared, striking what he believed to be an incredibly cool pose.
"Satan Miracle Special Super Megaton Punch!"
With a shout, he stomped the ground and charged toward Goku like an out-of-control truck.
To ordinary people, the punch whistled through the air, leaving behind a trail of afterimages.
But in the eyes of Goku—or Loren and the others—
This punch was slower than a snail crawling uphill.
Soft.
Completely powerless.
Bang.
A dull, almost comedic sound echoed.
Mr. Satan's all-out punch—powerful enough to shatter a dozen bricks—landed squarely on Goku's face.
Goku didn't move.
Not even an inch.
He didn't blink either.
He just tilted his head slightly, puzzled.
"Hmm? Are you done hitting me?"
Mr. Satan froze in place.
His fist felt like it had struck solid steel.
No—
Something infinitely harder.
A piercing pain shot from his knuckles and spread instantly through his entire body.
"Ah… ah…"
Cold sweat beaded on Mr. Satan's forehead.
It hurt.
It hurt too much.
His bones… felt like they were cracking.
But as the world champion, he had professional ethics.
Suppressing the pain, Mr. Satan sharply withdrew his fist, shaking it frantically behind his back while maintaining a deep, mysterious smile.
"Heh heh heh… not bad, kid."
"To endure one-tenth of my strength—looks like your body really has undergone special training."
"But the warm-up is over!"
"Now I'm getting serious!"
Mr. Satan roared again and launched a storm of attacks.
"Champion Chain Punch!"
"Champion Cyclone Kick!"
"Champion Headbutt!"
Bang bang bang bang bang—
A series of dull, ridiculous thuds echoed across the ring.
Punching. Kicking. Headbutting. Even biting.
Mr. Satan used every trick he had.
And Goku?
He stood there the entire time, unmoving.
Not even swaying.
"This guy… what kind of monster is he?!"
Mr. Satan's heart sank straight to the abyss.
"Hoo… hoo… hoo…"
Finally, he stopped, hands on his knees, gasping for breath as sweat poured down like a waterfall.
"How about that, kid?!"
Even while panting, he didn't forget to keep up the performance.
"You've seen the power of Champion Satan, haven't you?! I've already hit all your vital points!"
"With just one command from me, you'll explode instantly!"
The audience believed every word, gasping in amazement.
Goku blinked and innocently patted his own body.
"Is that so?"
"But… I don't feel anything."
Seeing that physical attacks were completely useless, Mr. Satan's mind raced.
His eyes darted around before a plan finally formed.
He leaned closer to Goku, lowering his voice so only the two of them could hear.
"Hey, kid… let's talk."
"Hm?"
Goku tilted his head curiously.
"How about this—just lie down and pretend I defeated you."
"I'll give you… one million! No—two million! Two million Zeni!"
Mr. Satan raised two fingers, his face twisted in pain.
"As long as you lose to me, the money's yours! You can live in luxury—how about it?"
Goku looked even more confused.
"Money?"
"Why would you give me money?"
"And why should I pretend to lose? I haven't even had a proper fight with you yet."
Mr. Satan felt like his sanity was slipping.
Is this guy an alien? He doesn't even want money?!
"No, listen to me! This concerns the honor of the world champion!"
"It concerns the peace of Earth!"
Mr. Satan began spouting nonsense.
"I am the hero of Earth! If I lose, people will lose hope! Evil will rise again!"
Goku thought about it seriously for a moment.
"But if I defeat you, I get a ten-million Zeni prize."
"That's way more than what you're offering."
"Pfft—!"
Mr. Satan nearly spat out a mouthful of blood.
This kid was impossible.
Soft tactics didn't work.
Hard tactics didn't work.
He was completely out of options.
And Goku was getting bored.
After fighting Vegeta, he was exhausted and just wanted to go home and eat Chi-Chi's cooking.
Messing around with someone this weak was pointless.
"Sigh… I'm done playing."
Goku sighed.
He raised one finger and gently tapped Mr. Satan on the forehead.
"Huh?"
Mr. Satan didn't even have time to react.
The next instant—
A terrifying force he couldn't comprehend or resist erupted from Goku's fingertip.
Whoosh—!
Mr. Satan was sent flying.
A moment later—
Bang!
He smashed into a distant wall, leaving behind a perfectly clear human-shaped hole.
The entire venue fell into a deathly silence.
Everyone stared, dumbfounded.
Goku retracted his finger and scratched his head awkwardly.
"Ah… sorry. Did I use just a tiny bit too much force?"
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Ten full seconds passed.
Then—
"Ohhhhh—!!!"
"I understand! I finally understand!"
"Mr. Satan! Truly our Mr. Satan!"
"Did you all see that?! This is the true spirit of martial arts!"
"He was guiding the younger generation! Teaching Son Goku that the meaning of combat isn't victory or defeat—but inheritance!"
"He deliberately lost! He used his defeat to crown a new king!"
"What a broad mind! What a magnificent spirit!"
"Mr. Satan—you are the uncrowned king!!!"
"He went easy on that Son Goku! That last attack was just a test!"
"Mr. Satan dodged it himself!"
"Satan! Satan! Satan!"
Thunderous cheers erupted once more.
This time, all of them were for the loser who had been flicked away with a single finger.
And the actual champion, Son Goku, stood there on the ring like a confused child.
"…"
Krillin didn't even want to speak anymore. He felt his intelligence had been deeply insulted.
Piccolo snorted coldly and turned away.
There was nothing left to say to these foolish Earthlings.
Loren shook his head helplessly and stood up.
"A bunch of hopeless idiots."
He glanced at the bewildered Goku, then at the human-shaped hole in the distant wall.
"Whatever. I'm going to eat."
Yawning, Loren turned and left this noisy, ridiculous place behind.
...
Author's Note:
The fanfic Dragon Ball: I Became Invincible by Being a Lazy Salted Fish! is now fully completed.
The entire story has been uploaded on Patreon as a dedicated collection:
📚 Dragon Ball (Chapters 1–404)
Organized into 47 posts, with multiple chapters per post for easy binge reading.
🔥 I also have an Additional 18+ fanfics now available for readers who enjoy exclusive mature stories. 😉
1.Dragon Ball: Oolong's Sex Adventure
2. Elements of Lust – ATLA & Korra Mixed Smut
3. Doraemon: Filtering with Nobi Tamako
4. The Naive Me Who Became Someone's Everyday Secret
5. High School DxD: Rias Gremory, the Phenex Bride
🔗 patreon.com/Shadow_demon_007
Thank you all for your continuous support and love for this story 💙