Chapter 468: The Movie
Yagura liked Mei Terumi. Masahiko had already noticed it years ago when the Akatsuki organization gathered. Judging by Mei's behavior, it might not strictly be called romantic love toward this legal shota, but it certainly counted as 'deep affection'.
With Yagura disappearing last night, Mei had a terrible premonition. That was why, as the Fifth Mizukage, she had hurriedly traveled alone to the Land of Whirlpools early this morning to seek Masahiko's aid.
Unfortunately, Masahiko truly couldn't help. Unless he gathered the remaining Jinchuriki and kept them right under his nose, there was simply no way to protect them all—he couldn't be in multiple places at once. Besides, Masahiko wasn't willing to babysit them every single day anyway...
"Killer B won't be that easy to capture, Gaara still has the Great Ancestor's spore clone on him, and trying to capture Naruto is an absolute pipe dream... That bastard will inevitably have to clash head-on with the Great Ancestor, and when the time comes, I'll make sure he feels pain!"
Since Yagura had disappeared last night, it was too late to do anything now. Given a whole night's head start, heaven only knew which corner of the shinobi world Tenji had taken him to.
Nevertheless, since Mei had personally come to his doorstep, Masahiko still did what he could. He made a trip to the Land of Water and activated his sensory abilities to search around Yagura's home. Unsurprisingly, he found absolutely nothing.
Mei's emerald eyes were filled with sorrow: "Senior... little handsome guy, thank you for the trouble."
Masahiko nodded: "Looking at your demeanor, you haven't spread the news of Yagura's disappearance yet?"
Mei nodded.
"Phew..." Masahiko let out a long breath. "I'm sure you know how to handle things from here, so I won't interfere. The Akatsuki's next target should be the Five-Tails, Han, or the Eight-Tails, Killer B... remember to send word to them."
"I understand, Senior."
Masahiko waved his hand and vanished via teleportation, silently cursing Tenji in his heart for constantly stirring up trouble during the New Year. It was a real mood-killer.
"The legal shota Yagura, huh. I'll reserve a spot for you in the Spiritual Space. Next time I see the old Sage of Six Paths, I'll demand your soul back!"
Time flowed by, and the thick accumulation of snow in the Land of Whirlpools gradually melted. Aside from Kushina and Minato completing the 'Treading Snow Without Leaving Traces' training, everyone else—including Konan—ended in utter failure.
On January 10, Konoha Year 61, inside Konoha Village.
Jiraiya lay flat on his bed in the shape of a large "T," slowly opening his eyes as a splitting headache washed over him.
"What's going on... last night..." A sudden cool sensation across his skin made him freeze. Lifting his head, he discovered to his utter horror that he was wearing nothing but a pair of small underwear.
"Last night... right! Tsunade suddenly asked me out for a drink. Could my current state mean we..." A classic, perverted grin crept onto Jiraiya's face.
"See, I told you Jiraiya would start imagining beautiful things the moment he woke up," Masahiko's voice drifted over.
"That absolute bastard..." Tsunade's voice followed, thick with suppressed rage.
Jiraiya jolted, fiercely arching his old waist in an attempt to sit up, only to end in complete failure.
"Hemp rope?" Only now did he realize his hands and feet were securely bound by thick hemp ropes. "What is the meaning of this! Senior! Tsunade!"
"After reading your copy of Violence Paradise, I wanted to stage a live-action version for you. Excited?" Masahiko spoke with a broad grin.
Jiraiya's perverted grin flashed again, but he quickly reined it in. He wasn't stupid: "You think a mere hemp rope can hold—Chakra Seal?!"
Tsunade's thoroughly disgusted voice rang out: "Great-granduncle, why are you still reading that kind of trash?"
Masahiko scratched his head: "It's all speculation. The Great Ancestor has a vivid imagination; I can guess the general plot just from the title..."
"Senior, didn't you originally—"
Smack! Masahiko slapped Jiraiya's stomach. "Too much flab. Jiraiya, you need to lose weight."
Jiraiya shuddered, finally remembering he was only in his underwear: "Senior, Tsunade, whatever this is, let me put my clothes on before we talk..."
"If you put your clothes on, we won't be able to talk." Masahiko chuckled and shook his head, his hands blurring into seals: "Seal: Body-Freezing Technique!"
Jiraiya's body went completely rigid, slumping back down as his small eyes filled with absolute terror.
"Tsunade, watch closely. The human body has a total of 268 aging genes. The head has relatively few, only 27. Watch my movements—the modifications must be perfectly precise..."
"The upper torso has quite a lot, 145..."
"The lower extremities come next, with 92..."
Anti-aging surgery was a grueling, physical task, and because Masahiko wasn't fully proficient yet, it took a whole day to complete. Jiraiya's expression shifted from sheer terror to complete serenity as he gradually deduced what Masahiko was doing.
"Senior, is this the secret to your longevity?" Jiraiya asked tentatively.
Masahiko shook his head: "Only a part of it. Even after this surgery, don't dream of outliving me. Tsunade, did you learn it?"
Tsunade nodded solemnly: "More or less. It's not actually deleting them, it's modifying them, turning the aging genes into other variants. But... why does it seem like we're short by four?"
Masahiko nodded with a smile: "Yes, if you simply delete them, the genetic chain breaks and causes severe anomalies, which is why this surgery is so tedious. As for the missing four, there is one last place that contains aging genes."
"Hey! Senior, you wouldn't..." Jiraiya caught on instantly, his old face flushing a violent crimson.
Tsunade's face similarly flashed a deep red.
"Just kidding! Hahahahaha—cough..." Masahiko burst into wild laughter. "You can leave now. Tomorrow we'll practice on Naruto. Let's skip the rest for Jiraiya!"
Tsunade froze, fiercely glaring at Masahiko: "Great-granduncle!"
Masahiko was full of smiles: "An adult's body is structurally different from a child's, so there's nothing wrong with using Jiraiya first. Little Tsunade, you called your Great-granduncle pure-hearted, but aren't you exactly the same? You don't possess a shred of the spirit of sacrificing oneself for medical science!"
Tsunade's expression shifted rapidly, but she ultimately lacked the courage to say she would stay. Her eyes rolled: "Then boys and girls must be structurally different too..."
Masahiko let out a heavy sigh: "Consequentially, I have to teach you three distinct surgeries. Jiraiya, Naruto... and Tsukika!"
Tsunade let out a sneaky laugh: "Then Great-granduncle, please continue performing the surgery on that idiot Jiraiya. I'm leaving!"
Jiraiya was still utterly bewildered. Seeing Tsunade depart, he couldn't quite map out the situation: "Senior... Hey, hey, hey! Senior! Somebody save me..."
"Stop shouting! You think I want to do this? This is all for your future happiness!"
After teaching Tsunade for three days, she lived up to Masahiko's expectations and successfully mastered the anti-aging surgery. Afterward, the two split up to perform the surgery on those closest to them.
There were quite a few candidates. On Masahiko's side, there were: Obito, Nawaki, Michiyama, Sasuke, Minato, Nagato, Toneri, Itachi, Kimimaro... and Haku.
A month flew by, and nearly forty 'long-lived humans' were added to Konoha and the Land of Whirlpools, finally bringing this surgical operation to a temporary close.
Masahiko had been frantically busy for a solid month, and now that he suddenly had free time, he felt rather unaccustomed to the leisure. Right on cue, Kushina and Minato brought Tsukika to find him.
"Great-grandfather, Great-grandfather, come watch a movie with us!"
"Watch a movie?" Masahiko picked up Tsukika, letting her ride piggyback on his shoulders. "What made you guys think of watching a movie?"
"A massive superstar has arrived in the village! She's an incredibly beautiful older sister named Yukie Fujikaze!"
"Oh?" Masahiko paused, That name... feels vaguely familiar...
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