Aveer didn't look at Aarav anymore.
He moved like he wasn't there, making tea, packing his notes, stepping out for coaching with that same blank calm that used to drive me crazy.
It hurt more than anger ever could.
Aarav tried to act fine, to focus on college, to laugh with friends, but every time he saw a boy with the same messy hair or a voice that sounded like Aveer's, his stomach twisted.
Maybe distance was the cure.
Maybe forgetting was easier than feeling unwanted.
So Aarav started leaving early, staying out longer, letting Arsh drag him into football games or canteen gossip.
For a while, it worked, until he missed a pass, slipped, and scraped his palm on the turf.
Nothing major, just a sting and a line of red.
"Bro, careful!" Arsh called, jogging up. "You're bleeding?"
Aarav brushed it off. "It's fine."
But the ache in his hand wasn't half as bad as the one in his chest.
Later, in the corridor, Arsh noticed that Aarav's mind wasn't really there. "You look like your brain's buffering again," he said, nudging his shoulder.
Aarav forced a laugh. "Actually, I wanted your advice about… something."
"Oh?" Arsh grinned. "This sounds fun already."
"Let's say," Aarav began, "there's this guy - A. He have a friend, B. They were really close once. But now B acts cold… ignores him. Sometimes B's sweet, sometimes distant. And, maybe, B's seeing someone else."
Arsh and Aman exchanged a look.
"Go on, A," Arsh said, dragging the letter like he knew exactly what Aarav was doing.
Aarav sighed. "So… what should A do? Keep quiet? Or just...."
"Confront?" Aman cut in, smirking. "Let me guess, A's totally losing his mind."
Aarav didn't reply.
Arsh crossed his arms. "Dude, you really think we're that dumb? This isn't about A and B. It's about you and…" he trailed off with a knowing grin.
Aarav forced a scoff. "You wish."
They laughed, but Aman's tone softened. "Look, if this friend of yours can't stop thinking about someone, then hiding it won't help. Either say it or let it go. Because silence just eats you alive."
Aarav looked down at his bruised hand, feeling the sting again.
"Confront?"
"Then confess", Aman teased him.
I couldn't even name what I felt, how am I supposed to confess it?
Aarav's mind drizzled with thoughts.
"Maybe," Aarav said quietly, "A just needs time."
"Or courage," Arsh muttered.
They joked again, switching the topic, but Aarav barely heard them.
Because somewhere in his chest, between the guilt and the ache, he knew exactly what A needed.
And he still couldn't do it.
Later in the evening -
The silence had started to feel too loud these days.
Even when Aarav was around, it felt like there was a wall between them, something invisible, heavy, and impossible to break.
Maybe this was how it was supposed to be, Aveer told himself.
No expectations, no heartbreak. Just distance.
Still, his chest felt heavier every time he tried to believe that lie.
He sat by the window with a cup of tea, pretending to read a book he wasn't really looking at.
The sound of rain outside was the only thing that felt real.
Somewhere below, a bunch of boys were playing football in the muddy ground near the PG.
And in between them, of course, it had to be him.
Aarav.
He wasn't playing the way he usually did.
There was something raw, desperate in the way he moved, as if he was trying to outrun something inside him.
He looked angry. But the kind of anger that comes from hurt.
Aveer didn't want to stare, but he couldn't look away either.
Then, suddenly, Aarav slipped.
The cup slipped from Aveer's hand too, fell, shattered, spilled tea all over the floor. Aveer didn't even think. He just ran.
Aarav was sitting on the wet ground, clutching his hand, pretending like the pain didn't matter. Rain drenched his hair, his shirt, his face - but the stubbornness in his eyes stayed the same.
"Can't you play like a normal human being without hurting yourself?" Aveer snapped, kneeling beside him before he could stop himself. "Let me see."
Aarav tried to hide his hand. "It's nothing, really...."
"Yeah, clearly," Aveer muttered, holding it anyway. The scratch wasn't deep but it stung just looking at it.
Aveer sighed, shaking his head. "You're impossible."
He helped him up, almost dragging him through the rain. Aarav didn't resist.
Maybe he was too tired to.
Back in the room, Aveer cleaned the wound carefully. The antiseptic burned against Aarav's skin as he flinched a little.
"You just recovered from fever and still decided to play in the rain," Aveer said quietly. "Why are you like this, Aarav?"
Aarav looked up at him, his eyes searching for something Aveer didn't have an answer for.
"One time you care so much about me, and the next you pretend I don't even exist," he said. "You ignored me for two days straight just because of a stupid argument. Why are you like this, Aveer?"
His words hit harder than they should have. Aveer turned away, putting the cotton aside.
"I don't have anything to say," he said finally. "You're good to go now."
Aarav laughed bitterly. "You never have anything to say, do you? You just run away. You always do."
That stung. Maybe because it was true.
But Aveer wasn't going to admit it, not when Aarav's voice sounded like that.
"Didn't you do the same back then?" Aveer muttered. "Why expect me to behave differently now?"
The air between them went still, the only sound was rain hitting the glass.
Aveer pressed a hand to his temple. "Don't argue with me anymore, Aarav. I've got a headache. Let me sleep."
"Fine," he said after a pause, his voice quieter. "You sleep. I'm going outside."
The door shut behind him, and the sound made Aveer's chest twist.
He sat there for a long moment, staring at the half-used bandage roll.
The rain outside had softened, but inside, it still felt like a storm.
He wanted to stop him.
But all he did was close my eyes and pretend that distance didn't hurt.
---
By the time Aarav returned to the room, the rain had slowed to a drizzle, thin streaks of water trailing down the glass, whispering softly like a fading memory.
He pushed the door open quietly, expecting to see Aveer reading or pretending to sleep the way he did whenever he left after an argument, but the sight that met his eyes made his chest tighten in an instant.
Aveer was lying on his side, face buried half in the pillow, breathing unevenly, his fingers clutching the sheet as if holding on to something , or someone. His lips moved restlessly, voice trembling with words that shouldn't have belonged to a dream.
"Aarav... please don't go," he murmured, his tone breaking somewhere between a whisper and a plea. "I didn't do it... believe me... I didn't do it."
The sound hit Aarav like a punch to the gut.
For a second, he just stood there frozen, unsure if he was supposed to hear that, unsure if he deserved to.
The boy who always stood like a wall before anyone, who never showed weakness, was trembling like a child haunted by the past.
Aarav hurried toward him, kneeling beside the bed. His face was pale, damp with sweat, his brows furrowed deep like he was trapped in a memory he couldn't escape.
"Aveer," he said softly, shaking his shoulder gently, "wake up. It's just a dream."
Aveer didn't stir. His breath hitched again, a broken sound that made his own throat ache.
"I didn't do it," Aveer whispered once more, voice cracking this time, and something inside Aarav just shattered.
He didn't know that the incident, whatever happened that day, whatever truth was buried there, still followed Aveer into his sleep. He didn't know it hurt this much.
Without thinking much, Aarav pulled him close. His arms went around him instinctively, holding him the way he would've if it were four years ago, before everything went wrong.
His body was warm against Aarav's, trembling slightly. He pressed Aveer's cheek against his damp hair and whispered, "I'm not going anywhere, Aveer. I'm here with you. You don't have to be afraid. Not anymore."
For a moment, he thought Aveer heard him. His breath steadied, the trembling softened, and he kept holding him, maybe because he didn't want him to wake up, or maybe because he didn't want to let go either.
Then, suddenly, Aveer's body stiffened. His eyes flew open, confused at first, then sharp, then burning.
He pushed Aarav away so fast that he almost lost his balance. "Don't you touch me," he said, his voice cold and low, but his hands were still shaking.
Aarav blinked, caught between guilt and confusion. "I was trying to help you. You were having a nightmare."
"I didn't ask for your help," he shot back. His tone was harsh, but his voice cracked halfway through the sentence, like it didn't believe its own anger. "You don't need to pretend you care, Aarav. You didn't care then, and you don't care now."
The words hung there in the room, heavy and suffocating, louder than the rain outside.
His words echoed in Aarav's ears long after he turned his back.
"You don't care now."
If only Aveer knew how wrong that was, how every heartbeat inside Aarav screamed his name even when lips stayed shut.
Something inside him snapped, that fragile string he had been holding for days, maybe years, finally broke.
The silence in the room felt heavier than his chest could bear.
Aarav took a step forward. His voice came out low at first, trembling, but it carried everything he had buried for too long.
"You think I don't care, Aveer?"
Aveer didn't turn around, but he continued anyway, the words spilling faster than he could stop them.
"I can't do this anymore… this distance, this silence. It's killing me."
Aveer tensed but still didn't speak. The rain outside started again, tapping softly against the window, the only sound brave enough to fill the space between them.
"I don't even know what's happening to me," Aarav said, exhaling shakily. "You ignore me for two days straight, you walk past me like I don't exist, you talk to Shivi like she means something and...."
He paused, his throat tightening. "...and it burns, Aveer. It burns in a way I can't explain."
Aveer turned slightly, his profile visible in the dim light. "Aarav, don't say anything you'll regret later," he murmured, his voice soft but strained, as if warning Aarav or maybe himself.
But Aarav couldn't stop. Not now.
"I won't regret it," he said firmly, stepping closer. "Even if it breaks everything, I won't."
He took a deep breath, my chest heavy but free for the first time.
"I don't know when it started, maybe the day you smiled after our first stupid fight, or maybe years ago when we shared the same blanket in your village under that stupid starry sky but every time I look at you, I feel something I can't hide anymore."
Aveer turned to face him now, eyes wide, but Aarav didn't care how he looked at him. The truth was finally out of its cage.
"When you're near, I feel alive," Aarav continued, voice trembling. "And when you pull away, it feels like something inside me is being ripped apart. I tried to ignore it, tried to tell myself it's just guilt or habit but it's not. It's more than that. It's… you."
His breath hitched, the next words almost choking me.
"I know I irritate you. I know I've hurt you before, maybe in ways I didn't even realize. But you… you're the only person who makes this chaos inside me feel like it's worth something. I can't keep pretending that it doesn't matter. Because it does. You do."
He ran a hand through his hair, tears burning at the corner of his eyes.
"You want to know the truth, Aveer? The truth is.... I love you. I don't know when it happened or how, but I do. I can't breathe properly when you're mad at me. I can't sleep when you're sad. I can't bear the thought of you walking out that door again."
The room fell into silence. The sound of rain faded somewhere into the background.
Aveer was just staring at him, still, unreadable.
Aarav's voice cracked. "If you love Shivi, then fine, go ahead. I won't stop you. But don't expect me to stand here and lie to myself anymore. I can't."
For a moment, he thought that was it, that he had said too much, that he had ruined everything.
Aarav turned to leave, his chest aching like it was being carved open.
But before he could take a step, he felt Aveer's hand around him. Firm. Warm. Shaking.
Aveer stopped Aarav by holding his hand.
"Where are you going again?"
The words left his mouth before he even realized he had said them.
His voice sounded foreign, broken, fragile, trembling like it carried years of things he had buried alive.
Aarav stopped. He turned slightly, his shoulders stiff, his breath uneven.
For a second, Aveer thought he wouldn't look back at all. That he would leave, just like last time.
But he froze.
And in that small pause, the world around me fell quiet.
Aveer took a step forward, his fingers tightening around his wrist , the same wrist he had bandaged a few hours ago.
"You're not leaving me again, Aarav," Aveer whispered, his throat closing up. "Not this time."
Aarav turned to face him, his eyes red, glistening under the faint light that slipped through the curtains.
It hit Aveer then, the same eyes he used to see years ago, when they were kids lying under the stars, making promises they were too young to understand.
"You think you're the only one feeling this?" Aveer said, voice cracking mid-sentence. "You're not. You're not the only one who's been suffocating in this mess of feelings, Aarav. I've been feeling the same maybe even worse but I just didn't know what to call it."
He tried to look away, but the truth had already escaped, and there was no taking it back.
"Every time I see you, I feel something I shouldn't," Aveer continued, his words stumbling out like confessions.
"Something I don't even understand. My heart.." he let out a dry laugh "...it forgets how to stay calm when you're around. It's like you've become a part of my pulse."
Aarav just stared, silent and breathless. Aveer could see it in his eyes, the same confusion, the same pain, the same pull.
"I tried running away from it," Aveer said quietly. "I tried to distract myself with Shivi, with anyone who wasn't you, but it never worked. Because when I laughed with her, it felt empty. When I talked to her, it felt wrong. Everything I've been doing these days… it's been a lie, Aarav. A lie I told myself because I was terrified of you. Of what I felt for you."
Aarav opened his mouth to speak, but Aveer stopped him with a glance.
"I don't love her," he said firmly. "I never did. I thought maybe if I tried, I could forget you. But the truth is - I can't. I couldn't then, I can't now, and I don't think I ever will."
The rain outside grew louder, like the world itself was listening to their confessions.
Aveer stepped closer, until he could see the faint tremble in his lips, the guilt still hiding behind his eyes.
Aarav whispered, barely audible, "But are you sure, Aveer? Are you sure you like me? I'm not good for you.
I just keep breaking things."
Aveer gave a small, trembling smile. "Then let me be the one thing you don't break."
"You think I don't know your flaws? You think I haven't seen your worst sides already? I have. And I still…" ... my voice faltered "I still can't make myself hate you."
"The only thing i could do is - I love you Aarav. I really do."
"Aveer… are you sure....."
Before Aarav could finish, Aveer's hand moved, firm, deliberate - curling around the back of his neck, their eyes locked . In one breath, the space between them disappeared .
Then Aveer pulled him closer to his lips....
To be continued...