The students came back, utterly spent and exhausted, falling onto the couches in various positions. Even on other students in Yaoyorozu's case. "Get the fuck off me Shitty Hair." Or Kirishima's case. "I knew you were all wimps, but I expected something that was….less pathetic than this."
"Oh screw you, mister remedial class." Toru flipped Bakugo off…they thought so at least, she didn't have the gloves on. "You probably have it super easy compared to everyone else."
"No … it's a nightmare." Todoroki spoke, looking out the window. "Social skills fail us in that environment, none of the books I read save us from the nightmare we experience every day. We can only hope for someone to slit our throats in our sleep to save us from the horrors we face." He looked as tormented as Iida did on some days.
"I thought that the vampire school girl would show up, but it was just the extra she replaced during the test. She's somehow more annoying." Bakugo paused. "Even if she can pull off a few decent jokes, Glamoroki."
"The horror…." Todoroki shivered on instinct. "I wish I was fighting a blood sucking villain. Hell, I'd rather fight Stain and Endeavor at the same time than this. At least there, the hero killer would target him first."
"But you only look mentally drained. This feels even more exhausting than the quirk training we did at summer camp." Sato groaned. "I'm gonna throw up …"
"Tell me about it. I don't know who's more exhausting to deal with, Ruyuku or Nejire." Ochako runned her bruised arms.
"Nejire. It's like an Iruma with the ability to fly. That's never a good thing. Why did God curse us so?" Tsu asked the air.
"God doesn't exist." Iruma said gloomy. "There's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and there's no Queen of England. Everything is Misery. There's no hope for anyone." …A miserable Iruma was a terrible thing to witness in action.
"Honestly I'm doing pretty fine." Everyone glared at Tokoyami. "I learned how to fly." Middle fingers were shot. "What about you Koda?"
"DO AS I SAY!" The boy shouted at his phone, before stomping it to dust. "Sorry, I have a few rats I'm going to need to exterminate later. Their debts are long overdue, and someone needs to pay."
"I don't know if it's more worrying if you mean people or actual rats." Mina said in a state of shock. "Suddenly I feel like I dodged a bullet."
"Such a big bullet." Ochako said. "You see …"
==
"Wait, we ALL have to learn how to fly!?" Ochako shouted with wide eyes.
"Of course, we're a response agency, we fly at high speeds without worrying about things like traffic or distance." Ryukyu said that as if the objective was easy!
"I'm a frog." Tsu bluntly responded.
"Some frogs have these weird webbed feet that allow them to glide!" Nejire shouted. "Oooh! Maybe if we push you off big buildings or throw you really fast, you'll get a quirk awakening and fly like the rest of us!"
"Um, I can't fly either." Ochako admitted. "I can float at best, and after a few minutes I spew because getting rid of my own gravity is harder than other objects." Like that somehow made SENSE!
"Looks like you all have a few personal hurdles to overcome." Yeah, don't make it sound like it's a bad habit! "Looks like you all just need a little motivation, which is why you two are going to fight me until you've improved." The pro began to transform. "We need to increase your speed and reaction time, so just pretend like you're about to die at every moment, and you should last until lunch time."
"Should we be running?" Tsu asked Nejire, hoping for an easy out.
"Why would you run from something big and cuddly like tha-" The girl was smacked into a stone column. "Playtime gets a little rough around here. Think of the bruises as little touches of love."
"This isn't any form of love I want to take part of." Tsu groaned. "I wanted to get away from class. This is what I was asking for." Looks like class never left.
==
"I have bruises that make me look more like a lizard than a frog." Tsu muttered angrily. "Damn you Nejire." At least when Iruma did something dumb, it was HIM that was in danger most of the time. "I've been squashed, squeezed, and my tongue was almost ripped off from being dragged around like a ragdoll. I've spent one hour each day using my camouflage to hide from everyone."
"I had to be pumped out of a dragon's stomach …" Ochako looked down at her hands. "I can never look at food the same way again."
"I was the same way when I got eaten by a whale." Iruma of course was able to relate to the horrible situation. "After two days, you realize it's either you or it."
"Then I'll have to eat some lizard …" The girl turned to Bakugo. "You'll be fine if I eat your girlfriend?"
"Fuck off, you couldn't touch her if you tried." Bakugo didn't deny the girlfriend part. "You signed up with a top ten. Did you expect to be coddle and spoon fed every step of the way? Just because Miriko developed some weird mommy complex doesn't mean all of them are that easy."
"Yeah, but didn't Best Jeanist develop a daddy complex?" Kirishima asked him. "He's in the top ten, right?"
"Shut it, Shitty Hair, I don't need another old man in my life." The boy defended. "You're not even working with a top ten, you shouldn't be this tired."
"He's a very tough driver." Yaoyorozu spoke up, resting her head on Kaminari's stomach. "He's very encouraging, but that eagerness is very…VERY draining."
"You say that." Mina started. "But I can see some stomach pudge on you."
"....Are you calling me fat?" It looked like Momo was ready to create a gun.
"I thought it was just guys that couldn't comment on girls' weight?" Mineta whispered to Sero.
"It's a touchy subject in general for them."
"Hey, calm down now." Denki tried to calm her down with some petting. "I mean … it looks good on you?" Even he looked like he regretted saying that the moment it came out of his lips.
"Jamming-whey, run while you still can." Jiro warned.
"How am I supposed to run from the girl using me as a lap pillow?" He pleaded. Yeah, he was going to die pretty soon.
"How about I tell you guys what happened?" Sato started. "It all began with …"
==
Kirishima used to complain a lot as a kid about the 'plainness' of his quirk. Simple defense. He cut himself the first time he used it, and thought it was the worst power to have. Over the years, he's learned to appreciate and even love it, even if there was only so much he could do to improve it.
He's never been more happy than now after seeing Momo and Sato being forced to stuff their faces while fighting Tamaki, who was sprouting some tentacles from his arms. "You see, we have to expand our stomachs. Healthy foods only for now, and make sure to break down the muscles and fill them up. Sato, we need to get your cognition maxed out, so eat your vegetables!"
"I'm not freakin Popeye!" Sato scarfed down a whole can of spinach as he was pinned down on the ground with a large bird foot.
"I'm sorry I'm beating you too badly." Tamaki apologized while DEMOLISHING them as easily as Mirio did. "I have to push you in order for you to improve, so I'll only attack you at half strength."
"Th..this is HALF!?" Yaoyoruzo shouted in shock as she was slammed into a wall with an oyster shell to the stomach. "He's barely looking where he's aiming…this is just ridiculous!"
"Suneater has a strong spirit, but his self confidence is a bit lacking. He just doesn't know how great he really is!" FatGum commented. "You're the best sidekick I have, Tamaki!"
"Please stop speaking lies sir!"
"... This is probably the manliest man I've met in a while …" Kirishima muttered. "Alright sir, what should I do!?"
"I'm going to beat you back senseless over and over again. All you have to do is keep charging at me. Whatever you do, don't lose that high spirit within you!"
"Understood Fatgum Sir! I'll do my best!" Time to put in some manly effort.
==
"The place is awesome … but I can't feel anything. That's not a metaphor, I hardened so much my sense of touch has literally vanished." Mina felt for her horn buddy. She recalled during the training camp when she overused her acid, burning her nerve endings for a whole day. Not even fifty pounds of moisturizer could help her recover fully.
"I'm going to lose my sense of taste … so many greens." Sato shivered in horror, looking like he'd seen a ghost.
"I'm never going to get my figure back." Yayorozu cried over Kaminari's corpse. "You're still here for me, aren't you?" She treated her boyfriend like he was a stuffed toy, after she beat the stuffing out of him. Aw, young love in action.
"So you get to eat all day while fighting?" Iruma grumbled. "I chose the wrong work study. All I have is spite and suffering."
"Wow, your work study hates you that much?"
"Mutual hate. He hates me for being Bunny-sensei's student, and I hate him because he thinks he can control me." It was so weird hearing this kid say hate so many times…it was weird seeing him hate something in general.
"Calm down, Iruma-kun, all the jerks are gone now." Toru cooed at him as she leaned on his shoulder. "You don't have to let out all that spite until tomorrow."
He just hummed. "Um … who's turn is it now? Tokoyami?"
"I suppose I can regale you all with my story so far." Tokoyami nodded. "Truth be told, I was starting to resent him. I've grown tired of his aloof nature, and I've begun to believe there wasn't anything I could gain from following him around, but one night…"
==
Dark Shadow watched the boy pant in exhaustion. "So many … flights of stairs …" The many advantages of being sentient darkness, he didn't feel Fumi's exhaustion, at least not fully. "I…hate stairs…I want to find whoever invented stairs, and push them down these stairs."
"Finally embracing the dark side. Just steal some cookies and we can have some fun murdering others left and right!" The embodiment of evil laughed. "But seriously Hawk is gonna murder us if we don't catch up, so hurry up."
"Easy for you to say … you can fly."
"It's more like hovering since I'm attached to you. If I could fly, I would've hit Vegas by this point."
"So you're both pretty blind to the obvious." Hawks commented as he waited for them for once on the top of the roof. "I gotta admit, with that new move you came up with, I thought you would've figured it out by now."
"Figured out?" Tokoyami rolled his eyes. He could feel the boy's frustration fill him up to the brim.
"You know I don't really care about teaching the next generation of heroes or any of that." Hawks acted as if they weren't there. "It's never been something on my mind. Although seeing you at the Sports Festival, I figured, 'what's the harm in nudging the little guy a little'."
"Nudging me, you haven't taught me anything other than the fastest way to scale a fire escape."
"Who said you had to run up the stairs?" Hawks retorted. "I gotta admit, you're pretty fast for someone who insists on being grounded, but you can take it further." He pointed to the cityscape. "I just think someone with feathers should allow themselves to fly." Hawks grabbed him by the arms and threw him into the air.
"Buddy!" He shouted, flying up and grabbing him. "There there, I got ya. Let's float you back down now."
"Right let's-" The boy cut himself off for some reason. Were heights really that bad? "... We're flying."
"Like I said, it was pretty obvious." Hawks sent a smirk. "When you two are able to work together, fight together, survive together,, you can do some amazing things."
"I'm more ashamed I didn't realize Dark Shadow could carry mass and fly at the same time." Tokoyami deadpanned. "Come on now, let's change into something more fitting of a dark hero."
"The sky's our domain now! We own the night! We are the night!"
==
"And now Dark Shadow is my wings."
"Soon I'll upgrade to wing man, for when you get a hot chick on your side." The quirk grinned. "So the rest of ya better watch out! I'm the master of darkness and air! I've evolved beyond your feeble minds! The world will be mine, then the Netherworld, then the Universe!"
Bakugo responded with some crackling sparks near the shadow, as it hissed like an angry cat. "Wimp." It was better than him constantly saying extra, but not by much. "With Number two backing you up, you'd better have made the most of it."
"I keep forgetting just how many top ten the class knows personally now, and that's excluding Iruma." Ojiro pointed out. "Even Koda's getting in on the action."
"Yes, and let me tell you … it was a mistake!" Koda shouted. "I'm worse than useless in the city! All the rats argue and all the birds want to talk about politics!" Everyone looked at him the moment he said it. "I'm completely neutral when it comes to the political spectrum. Everytime I try to peep into the veil, I get hit with a resounding wave of regret and despair as I cry for humanity's lack of humanity."
"Sounds about right." Tokoyami nodded sympathetically. "Revelry in the Dark."
"What about Wash himself?" Ochako asked. "He always seems so friendly and cheerful, and a part of me was always curious how he managed to be top ten. No offense, but he doesn't really…"
"Don't be fooled by that happy facade…he's a mastermind that could rival the likes of Nedzu." Everyone shivered at the very notion…everyone except Iruma.
"Have you tried using instinct to make any plans he comes up with useless."
"That's just it … he's overcome the animal kingdom in its entirety."
==
"You see, it all starts with the tree. It grows as a commodity, a home, a corpse, a food, and many other resources for all of nature." Wash explained. "So we tear them down without mercy."
"But … nature …"
"Nature is like your quirk. It's a tool that you should take every advantage of to use at your leisure whenever you see fit." It was a harsh but painful lesson to drill in the kid's head."Now then, a major problem is animals. So I planted micro evidence that's been scented with other animal fur, making them break out into civil wars and resort to tribalism."
"But the ecosystem! The balance…!"
"Can be easily destroyed when you know who to give a few good nuts and berries to." He shrugged. "Plus animal attacks and violence makes it so hard for hippies to actually put up a fair argument, you know?"
"Why do you hate nature so much!?"
"I don't. I've just learned to appreciate it in every useful aspect." Wash explained. "Animals are basically smaller versions of people. They can go crazy at any moment and you can't anticipate when it happens. You must strike first and tear them down by the roots so they lose the will to even think about fighting."
==
"So now … it's my mission to bring back nature, and destroy the corrupt empire known as the Wash Agency … and bring the man to his knees." Some might call it insane, ludicrous, and moronic, but he was the king of the forest, damn it! "I'll protect my subjects no matter the cost. I already have Kinoko working on the sidelines, gathering intel from other companies in espionage."
"Why is she working in espionage?" Jiro asked.
"Her quirk is a very slow build, she needs to work on making herself unseen until it's unstoppable." Koda explained. "We haven't perfected gasos attacks, so we can't just spread spores throughout the agency. It's going to be a long journey, but I can play the long game. In chess, it's the king that makes the least amount of moves."
"So we've increased the levels of mental instability that no therapist or counselor will be able to fix without going insane." Iida rubbed his forehead.
"I actually went to talk with Hound Dog." Iruma spoke. "Aizawa-sensei said it was a good idea for me and Bakugo to talk about our lives with him."
"The man jumped out of the room in five minutes." Bakugo stated plainly. "The extra couldn't handle it."
"Are you that surprised?" Hagakure presumably rolled her eyes. "I don't know whether to toss you out a window myself or constantly ask if you're okay. Boy, your backstory is messed up. Whatever you guys do, don't mention D-E-K-U. It's on the list of banned words like P-l-E-A-S-E and 'H-E-L-P.'"
"... I will stab you bitch. I don't care if I can't see you bleed." The boy growled out.
"Hey now, let's all calm down." Kirishima tried to calm the situation. "How about you Iruma, what was your internship like for the past week?"
"Great, I love every part of it…except for Nighteye, he sucks and I hate him. We're both fuled on nothing but spite to make the other say they're wrong."
"You know, you're actually a lot more interesting like this." Bakugo said what everyone knew he was gonna say. "Just doing this out of anger and principal alone. Is this how it feels to be a proud brother?" Now THAT was a nightmare come to life.
"I know what Rabbit-Sama meant by Spite being the greatest motivator now. It's addicting, but I can't stop using it, or else he wins!"
==
"It seems we're at a stalemate." Awata watched with Mirio as their boss began the new kid's training. Both of them were pretty uneasy about it, but they recorded it nonetheless. Centipeder deserved to see the madness for himself.
"Any time I use my quirk I win flawlessly, and any time I don't you slowly overwhelm me." Sir once again moved out of the way. "Unfortunately for you, your actions have become more predictable than my own. You're not analyzing what I do and just trusting your body to do it. The problem is your body is reacting to danger, not simple contact."
"Well that's hard to do with your creepy face making everything you do look uncomfortable."
"Actually I'm quite comfortable." Nighteye moved out of the way once more, landing a chop. "Because I know the only hit you'll land on me this entire fight is a right hook in my stomach. All other attacks will fail regardless of what you try … that's the future I've seen."
"You know, Bunny-sensei at least talked about David once or twice before I met him, yet he never talked about you!" Suzuki got on all fours and began running around the man.
"Did he ever tell you about everyone he met? Has he told you about Gran Torino, about Nana, about Truth Man? Before you actually met the latter."
"Yes actually, he talks about Gran-Grandpa alot even though he scares him to the point where he gets leg spasms. Talks alot about Nana-mama too." Bubble girl let out some more laughs. God that felt weird. Was this what it was like to have fun in the workplace? "Yet he never mentioned you once!"
"And even with that support and those sacrifices, you treat yourself as something worth it." Nighteye stood still, letting himself get hit with a right hook. "... Only to fail in the end." As a trap, the boy hit with four high density stamps on the back, sending him into the newly made crater. "When you can get up in two minutes, take a shower."
"...It must be really hard to not know how to smile. I can do that even after all that happened to me. You are a sad, sad person." Nighteye walked out of the room, not even pretending to listen to the kid.
"..Hey Iruma, you alright?" Mirio leaned over the trap.
"Yeah … When I get up I'm gonna take a shower, and eat really angrily!" She giggled once more.
==
"So that's my life now." Iruma spoke. "Trying to prove myself against a man that can't smile." He gripped his hands. "He's lucky I didn't call him a bad touch man, because that's the feeling I get out of him. If it wasn't for his quirk, he wouldn't be able to touch me at all."
"That's probably the case." Shoto stated. "But he might be trying to tell you something." Everyone looked confused. "You do need to expand your mind a bit. Running on instinct alone doesn't help anyone. Even Bakugo uses strategy."
"The fuck do you mean even me!?"
"You'll get just as feral as Iruma whenever a fight gets serious." Ochako explained. "The only difference is that you're able to think clearly and change strategy while Iruma fights randomly to the point where almost no one can keep up."
"But he can …" Iruma looked up. "Maybe I should try an attack that can't be dodged …" He looked at his hands and legs. "Finger Gatling and Claw Pistol are pretty fast with leftovers making it stronger. Oh, if I can use a right hook punch at thirty spoonfuls with leftovers, he won't be able to get out of the way! You can't avoid a tornado! Believe me, I've tried."
"... Midnight hasn't been helping much in the name department." Toru deadpanned. "Just now you can call me if you need help taking pedo-eye down a peg. Maybe his quirk won't work on someone he can't see." It was an offer he was very tempted to take … but first, came beating Night Eye himself.