When Kyle and Hermione returned to the castle, the Great Hall had been completely transformed into its Halloween decor.
Hundreds of jack-o'-lanterns hung from the surrounding walls and the ceiling.
A swarm of fluttering bats and numerous fire-breathing orange streamers drifted lazily beneath the ceiling like brilliant water snakes.
The space in the Great Hall had clearly been magically expanded; the four long house tables, originally spaced equidistantly, had been split into two on each side, leaving a massive open clearing in the middle.
A magnificent stage had been erected right in the center of the clearing, clearly intended as the performance venue for the upcoming show.
Years ago, Kyle had teamed up with three other "Father-Troublers" to blast the Coffin Dance meme song for Dumbledore on the erhu and suona during the Start-of-Term Feast.
Last year, Harli, Luocong, and Rolf had performed a dance routine to Gokuraku Jodo at the Halloween Feast.
Ever since then, Dumbledore had decided that a grand song-and-dance performance would be a staple of every major feast.
This year's Halloween Feast was no exception.
Dumbledore hadn't consulted the Father-Troublers about the performance this time, which meant he had made arrangements of his own.
Once all the students, who had spent the entire day having fun in Hogsmeade, returned to the Great Hall, the Halloween Feast finally began.
Ever since Kyle had enrolled at Hogwarts, the selection of dishes provided by the Hogwarts kitchens had grown increasingly diverse.
With the help of the Butler-Man, Kyle had gathered recipes for almost every delicacy imaginable from around the world, compiling them into a cookbook for the house-elves in the kitchens.
Of course, these delicacies did not include India's more "hardcore" street food options known for testing one's stomach bacteria.
Kyle had personally vetted the contents of the cookbook, ensuring every dish catered perfectly to a palate native to the Great Foodie Empire.
As for whether these delicacies suited the palates of the "foreigners" around him, that was none of his business.
Ultimately, Kyle only cared about satisfying his own cravings; anyone who couldn't stomach the food could go right back to eating their eternal, unchanging fish and chips.
Driven by the Little Dark Lord's selfish desires and backed by the Butler-Man's assistance, it would be a miracle if the Hogwarts kitchens didn't produce an absolute feast.
Steamed lamb, steamed bear paw, steamed deer tail, roasted duck, roasted spring chicken...
(10,000 words omitted here)
Instead of staying at his own house table, Kyle sneaked over to the Gryffindor table.
The surrounding little lions all stared curiously at this scion of the Dumbledore family.
They had seen Kyle crash their table for a free meal plenty of times before, but doing it during an event like the Halloween Feast was a first.
But the moment Kyle took Hermione's hand, their curiosity instantly vanished.
In an instant, the Gryffindor table was thick with the sour, envious aroma of young love.
Staring at the incredibly lavish spread before them, the single little lions suddenly found that the delicious food had lost all its appeal.
"I'm full, I'm full! Stuffed to the brim on 'dog food.'"
"Ah! Countless single dogs have suffered tons of critical damage! Single dogs have no human rights!"
Flashing their affection in front of so many people made Hermione feel quite self-conscious, so she gently pulled her hand out of Kyle's grip.
Up at the staff table, the motherly Dumbledore looked down at his son and prospective daughter-in-law at the Gryffindor table, a gratified smile spreading across his face.
Looking at how things were going, the day he would finally cradle a grandson or granddaughter was just around the corner.
He only hoped that Kyle's descendants wouldn't be as infuriatingly troublesome as their scoundrel of a father.
Wait a minute!
Dumbledore's gratified expression suddenly twisted.
The Third Generation Dark Lord had already come into his own. If they ended up with a Yondaime...
Dumbledore suddenly lost all anticipation for having grandchildren.
If it was the sensible and well-mannered Miss Granger, she should... be able to help Kyle raise the next generation properly... right?
No, wait!
At the realization that Hermione was also a Gryffindor, Dumbledore—who knew the true nature of Gryffindors all too well—suddenly felt a sharp pang of cardiac arrest.
He suddenly had a strong urge to tell his son: Maybe you should find a different girlfriend.
Shaking his head to clear out the chaotic thoughts, Dumbledore rose from his seat.
"And now, let the feast begin!"
As Dumbledore's voice fell, a collection of musical instruments—a piano, guitars, a bass, a drum kit, and more—materialized out of thin air onto the stage.
A group of wizards dressed in extravagant, multi-colored Shamate punk fashion swarmed into the Great Hall, heading straight for the stage in the center.
When Kyle saw the riot of colors on their heads—vibrant reds, blues, and greens—he nearly spat out his mouthful of Butterbeer.
The most ridiculous of them all was the guy who looked like the lead singer; his hair was dyed in seven distinct colors from left to right, cascading all the way down to his waist like a walking rainbow.
Was this the band Dumbledore had hired from outside the school?
Don't tell me the name of this band is the "Love Burial Family"?
Once the performers of the Love Burial Band finished tuning their equipment, highly rhythmic music began to echo throughout the castle.
"African agriculture is underdeveloped~"
"Fertilizer needs Jinkela mixed in~"
"Mix in Jinkela, and prosperity will begin! Wheat yields eight thousand eight hundred catties per mu!~"
(Please mentally insert the backing track of the epic anime song "aLIEz" here)
By the time the performance concluded, the atmosphere in the Great Hall was completely electric, and the students were fully immersed in an ocean of joy.
Amidst the laughter and cheer, the Love Burial Band played one song after another.
BOOM!
Just as another song was drawing to a close, a sudden, thunderous blast from outside the castle shattered the wonderful moment.
Everyone turned their heads toward the source of the noise, but they could see nothing but the walls of the Great Hall.
Both Dumbledore and Kyle knit their brows; the sound had come from the direction of the tower where Sirius Black was currently residing.
"Silence! Everyone, calm down!" Dumbledore's voice boomed across the entire Great Hall.
Before panic could spread among the students, his words, filled with a soothing and reassuring power, brought everyone back to a hush.
"Until the professors ascertain the situation, everyone is to remain in the Great Hall. Prefects, maintain order."
Dumbledore then turned to Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick beside him. "Minerva, Filius, I must trouble the two of you to go and see what has happened."
Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick nodded, hurried out of the Great Hall, and headed straight for the tower where Sirius was.
Kyle wanted to slip out to investigate, but to his surprise, Hermione caught him by the arm.
Locking her eyes onto his, Hermione spoke with absolute determination. "I'm coming with you. You can't always face danger all by yourself. I want to fight by your side."
"Alright," Kyle nodded. "But you mustn't stray too far from my side."
The moment the two of them stepped out of the castle doors, they saw several cloaked Dementors, radiating a bone-chilling aura, gliding over their heads and rushing straight toward the distant tower.
Dozens of Dementors had already swarmed the perimeter of the tower, and even more were continuously converging on it in an endless stream.
It looked like something had genuinely happened to Sirius.
Professor Flitwick drew his wand and gave it a gentle flick. His short frame instantly levitated into the air, and he spearheaded the charge toward the tower.
Earth Release: Light-Weight Rock Technique!
The way Professor Flitwick flew almost made Kyle think he was looking at the Third Tsuchikage—Ōnoki of the Both Scales.
[Translator's Note: This chapter heavily features Chinese internet memes. "Dog food" and "single dogs" refer to observing romantic displays of affection as a single person. "Yondaime" is a Naruto reference to the Fourth Hokage, used here as a pun for a Fourth Generation Dark Lord. Shamate and the Love Burial Family refer to a famous mid-2000s Chinese counterculture movement known for exaggerated, multi-colored, spiky hair. Jinkela is a legendary Chinese parody meme based on an absurdly exaggerated local fertilizer commercial.]
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