Buggy The Clown prided himself on many things.
His genius.
His charisma.
His magnificent nose that he was in no way self-conscious of.
And above all else…
His flair.
Which was why he was currently standing atop a raised platform in the center of Orange Town's occupied square, one boot planted dramatically on the railing of a stolen cannon while his striped cape billowed behind him in the sea breeze. The big top tent they'd raised as a sign of ownership cast a striking silhouette over the square.
"SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT!" Buggy roared.
The gathered pirates flinched as his shrill voice echoed through the square.
Moji pointed frantically, arms flailing with increasing desperation as he recounted the story for what had to be the fifth time.
"I'm telling you Captain Buggy, it was insane!" the beast tamer shouted. "The brat grabbed Ritchie's mouth with BOTH HANDS!"
Cabaji lounged nearby atop a crate, one brow raised skeptically. "And then?"
Moji's face twisted dramatically.
"AND THEN HE SPUN HIM!"
Silence.
Cabaji blinked once.
"…Spun him?"
"LIKE A TOP!"
Buggy's eye twitched.
"Captain," one of the grunts muttered carefully, "I think Moji may have hit his head when he landed."
"I DID NOT!" Moji screamed.
Buggy grabbed the sides of his own head.
"STOP YELLING!"
"YOU'RE YELLING TOO!"
"THAT'S DIFFERENT!"
Buggy stomped forward, shoes squeaking slightly against the wooden platform as his face twisted into theatrical outrage.
"First some idiots knock out a patrol squad," he snarled. "Then they beat up MY lion tamer-"
"Beast tamer!" Moji corrected instinctively.
"-AND NOW," Buggy continued louder, "they're wandering around MY town?!"
He pointed dramatically toward the sky.
"UNACCEPTABLE!"
The gathered pirates erupted into nervous cheers.
"YEAH!"
"Captain Buggy's gonna get 'em!"
"They're dead!"
Buggy spun toward the nearby cannon with a manic grin stretching across his face, his bright face painting seeming to stretch the grin even wider.
"Maybe," he said, "our mysterious little troublemakers need a reminder."
His gloved hand slammed against the side of the oversized cannon resting behind him.
The Buggy Ball cannon.
Even nearby pirates instinctively took a cautious step back.
Buggy cackled.
"We'll just erase the block they're standing on!"
A pirate near the back raised a hand nervously.
"Uh… Captain? What if they aren't there anymore?"
Buggy froze.
Slowly…
He turned.
His grin twitched.
"Then they'll learn a valuable lesson about standing near places I decide to explode."
"…That doesn't really-"
"LOAD THE CANNON!"
"YES CAPTAIN!"
Pirates scrambled instantly.
A massive Buggy Ball was rolled into place with exaggerated effort, chains rattling as the modified cannon adjusted its angle toward the district containing the pet food store.
Moji puffed himself up slightly, eager for revenge now that he was standing behind several tons of explosive firepower.
"Yeah!" he shouted. "Blow 'em away, Captain Buggy!"
Buggy planted both hands on the cannon dramatically.
His eyes gleamed.
"FIRE!"
BOOOOM!
The cannon exploded with a deafening roar.
The Buggy Ball screamed across the sky, trailing smoke and sparks as it hurtled toward the district.
Buggy threw his arms wide.
"BEHOLD THE MIGHT OF CAPTAIN BUGG-"
He paused.
The pirates paused.
Everyone stared into the distance.
Waiting.
…
…
…
No explosion came.
Buggy blinked.
A pirate scratched his head.
Cabaji tilted slightly sideways.
"…Huh."
Buggy's grin slowly twitched apart.
"…What."
Seconds passed as they stared, and yet no matter how long passed, there was still nothing.
No fireballs, shockwaves, or even collapsing buildings.
Just silence.
A vein bulged in Buggy's forehead.
"…WHAT."
One pirate coughed awkwardly.
"Maybe it was a dud?"
Buggy whirled around so violently his cape smacked one of the nearby grunts in the face.
"A DUD?!"
He pointed furiously at the cannon.
"MY BALLS DO NOT MISFIRE!"
"…You should maybe phrase that diff-"
"SHUT UP!"
Buggy stomped in furious circles, arms flailing wildly.
"Where's the explosion?! Where's the screaming?! WHERE'S THE PROPERTY DAMAGE?! THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE AN EARTH-SHATTERING KABOOM!"
Cabaji peered thoughtfully into the distance.
"…Maybe somebody stopped it?"
Buggy froze.
Silence fell, and for almost a minute nobody dared speak.
"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!"
Buggy's entire body split apart in sheer rage, detached hands flying wildly through the air as his feet stomped independently across the platform.
"WHO STOPS A BUGGY BALL?!"
Moji pointed dramatically toward the ruined district.
"THEM!"
Buggy's detached head spun toward him.
"…You know what?"
His grin returned. Wide, exaggerated, and dangerous.
"Ohhhhhh, now I'm excited."
The pirates around him straightened nervously.
Buggy cracked his neck loudly.
"If they wanna play games with Captain Buggy…"
His hand snapped outward theatrically.
"THEN WE'LL GO SEE THEM PERSONALLY!"
The pirates erupted into cheers again.
"YEAH!"
"GET THEM, CAPTAIN!"
"SHOW 'EM WHO RUNS ORANGE TOWN!"
Buggy leapt from the platform dramatically, landing atop the railing with arms spread wide.
"MOVE OUT! LETS SHOW THEM THAT NOBODY TOUCHES MY BALLS AND LIVES TO TELL THE TALE!"
"Captain you really gotta rephra-"
Buggy's baggy pant leg snagged a rock laying on the ground, immediately causing him to stumble slightly and cutting off Cabaji's critique.
"WHOA-"
He windmilled violently before regaining balance.
"…I MEANT TO DO THAT!"
"AMAZING, CAPTAIN BUGGY!"
Cabaji sighed.
Moji pointed dramatically again.
And together, the Buggy Pirates surged toward the district…
Completely unaware of the storm they were marching towards.
Several streets away…
Silence hung over the ruined district. Just moments before, a cannonball had been hurtling towards them at breakneck speed, but the expected explosion never came. No collapsing buildings or ruined streets. Just the continued soft creaking of damaged wood in the breeze.
Zoro stared.
Then slowly lowered his arms.
"…The hell?"
He had expected a lot of things. Explosions. Fire.His eyes had been fixed on Luffy, expecting him to intercept the attack somehow. Maybe performing a heroic feat of strength and catching the projectile mid air?
Instead, nothing happened. The so-called buggy Ball was just… not there.
Luffy grinned so hard his cheeks hurt.
"SHISHISHISHI!"
He pointed dramatically at the direction the ball was fired from.
"That was awesome!"
Nami stood nearby with her arms crossed, hair fluttering lightly in the breeze.
Trying, and failing, to suppress the smug satisfaction on her face.
"…Well," she said casually, "I did say I'd figure it out quickly."
Zoro looked between her and the unscathed buildings.
Then back again.
"…You stopped that thing?"
Nami's grin widened just a fraction.
"Maybe."
Luffy laughed harder.
Behind them, ChouChou stood proudly atop the still-dazed Ritchie like a conquering warlord claiming a throne.
The small dog barked once.
Sharp.
Victorious.
Proud.
Ritchie whimpered quietly.
The lion's enormous body trembled beneath the tiny dog perched on his head.
At first, the lion had only feared the rubber monster that spun him through the air.
But now…
Now even the terrifying exploding ball had somehow failed in front of them.
Ritchie looked toward Luffy.
Then toward Zoro.
Then toward the orange-haired girl standing smugly with her hands on her hips…
…and began sweating profusely.
Some deep animal instinct had already reached a conclusion. These people weren't just stronger. They were something else entirely. An entire tier above what he was used to.
Alpha predators.
And Ritchie, for perhaps the first time in his life, decided very firmly that he would rather survive than challenge that hierarchy.
Luffy wiped a tear from his eye from laughing too hard.
"See?" he said proudly. "I told you it'd suit you perfectly!"
Nami glanced down at her hand thoughtfully, flexing her fingers once.
"…It's weird," she admitted. "I can feel it working."
She looked toward the small canvas bag at her hip.
"It took a little more stamina than the tables and chairs at the tavern… but honestly?"
Her expression shifted into something dangerously pleased.
"…That was surprisingly easy."
Zoro snorted.
"Terrifying."
"Efficient," Nami corrected immediately.
Luffy nodded enthusiastically.
"Efficiently terrifying!"
Nami chose to take that as a compliment, as she basked in the rare sense of power and accomplishment, she noticed Luffy's head tilting slightly.
The grin on his face sharpened.
"…Oh."
Zoro noticed instantly. "What?"
Luffy pointed vaguely toward the far end of the street.
"Footsteps."
And sure enough, the growing chorus of shouting and boots echoed faintly through the ruined town.
Buggy's crew was coming fast.
Nami straightened slightly.
"…Guess they noticed their cannonball didn't explode."
"Probably," Luffy agreed cheerfully.
Then he looked at her.
"Nami."
She blinked.
"…Yeah?"
Luffy pointed deeper into town, toward the ridiculous tents and ships of the invading pirates.
"Go take everything valuable."
Silence.
Then Nami's eyes widened with almost spiritual understanding.
"…Excuse me?"
"The treasure," Luffy clarified. "Buggy's probably been stealing from this town for weeks."
Zoro smirked immediately as realization hit.
Luffy stretched his arms behind his head casually.
"We'll leave most of it with Smoker and the Marines so the town can rebuild," he said. "But actual pirate treasure?"
His grin widened.
"That part's ours."
Nami stared at him.
Then slowly, very slowly, a radiant smile spread across her face. A smile so genuinely delighted it almost looked dangerous.
"…Captain," she said solemnly.
"Yeah?"
"I take back at least thirty percent of the bad things I've thought about you."
Luffy beamed. "Nice!"
Zoro barked out a laugh.
Then Nami was gone.
She darted down a side street with startling speed, already mentally calculating storage locations, hidden stashes, escape routes, and estimated berry values.
"TREASURE MAP TIME," she whispered to herself with frightening intensity.
Zoro watched her disappear.
"…She moves faster when money's involved."
"Way faster," Luffy agreed.
Behind them, Ritchie whimpered again.
As Nami slowly began to fade from sight, a group of thugs appeared from a different street, a man in clown makeup that could only be Buggy at the head.
Cape billowing dramatically. Face twisted in dramatic outrage, dozens of pirates flooded in behind him.
And there, in the middle of the street, was the perfectly intact store he had fired at. Guarded by a small white dog, sat atop a very familiar, profusely sweating lion.
His gaze lifted toward the two idiots standing beside the animal duo.
Luffy waved cheerfully.
"Hi!"
The nonchalant greeting immediately took some of the wind out of Buggy's sails.
He hesitated for just a second before puffing himself back up with bravado.
His shrill voice cracked with indignation as he fired back.
"DON'T 'hi' ME, YOU FLASHY BASTARD!"
Luffy simply laughed.
His mind drifted back to Foosha Village. To Shanks visiting the docks with a grin on his face and a drink in his hand. To the straw hat now tucked safely aboard their little ship. And to the endless exaggerated stories about an old crewmate who apparently loved face paint, theatrics, and causing problems for everyone around him.
…He knew exactly how to get under this guy's skin.
"Shishishi!" Luffy pointed playfully at Buggy's nose.
"So you're that 'Big-Nose' Buggsy guy Shanks mentioned!"
Buggy's face immediately turned red.
"IT'S BUGGY-SAMA TO YOU, YOU BRA-"
He stopped.
The words finally caught up with him.
Silence fell over the street.
Buggy froze so hard even his detached hands stopped moving.
"…What."
Luffy blinked innocently.
Buggy slowly leaned forward, eyes twitching.
"…What did you just say?"
Zoro glanced sideways at Luffy.
"…Oh, this oughta be good."
Luffy grinned wider.
"The red-haired pirate guy?" he said casually. "Shanks talked about you all the time."
Buggy's pupils shrank.
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT RED-HAIRED BASTARD?!?!"
"Eh…" Luffy picked at his ear like he couldn't be bothered with responding.
"Don't worry about it, Buggsy, we've got more important things to worry about."
Buggy turned red, puffing up, once again about to correct the annoying bastard in front of him about his name.
But before he could, the playfulness dropped from Luffy's eyes.
"Like you leaving this town in cuffs. The only question is, how beat up you'll be on the way out."
Buggy's eye twitched violently.
"…Cuffs?"
Luffy nodded casually.
"Yeah," he said. "Arrest, prison, the whole thing."
The silence that followed lasted exactly three seconds before Buggy exploded.
"CUFFS?! CUFFS?!"
His detached hands flew wildly through the air as his feet stomped independently across the ground.
"I AM CAPTAIN BUGGY! THE CLOWN KING OF THE SEAS! PEOPLE FEAR ME!"
One hand pointed furiously at Luffy.
"YOU DON'T PUT BUGGY-SAMA IN CUFFS!"
Luffy scratched his cheek.
"Pretty sure they do, actually."
A vein bulged in Buggy's forehead.
Cabaji sighed.
"…Captain."
"WHAT?!"
"You're getting distracted again."
Buggy froze.
Then slowly turned back toward Luffy with a dangerous grin.
"…Right."
His fingers cracked loudly.
"Well then," he hissed theatrically, "let's see if you're still smiling after my crew tears you apart!"
The pirates behind him roared immediately.
"YEAH!"
"GET 'EM!"
"SHOW 'EM BUGGY PIRATE POWER!"
Luffy blinked once, looking around genuinely confused.
"…Wait."
The pirates hesitated as Luffy pointed at them.
"You guys are actually charging first?"
Buggy threw both arms wide dramatically.
"OF COURSE THEY ARE!"
"…Huh."
Luffy looked mildly disappointed.
"I thought the clown guy would fight first."
"IT'S BUGGY YOU BASTARD!"
The pirates surged forward. Swords raised, clubs swinging, pistols firing wildly.
In the eyes of the fodder pirates, Luffy simply vanished.
The street cracked beneath his foot.
BOOM.
A shockwave ripped through the road as he shot forward in a blur of motion.
The first pirate barely had time to widen his eyes before Luffy appeared in front of him.
THUD.
One punch folded him instantly.
Luffy twisted, a backhand sending another pirate sideways into a wall.
A third swung desperately, missing as Luffy leaned back casually, the blade passing by his nose by centimeters before he flicked the man directly in the forehead.
The pirate spun twice before collapsing unconscious.
Silence hit the battlefield for exactly half a second.
Then panic erupted.
"HE'S TOO FAST!"
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"
"CAPTAIN?!"
Luffy bounced lightly on the balls of his feet, grinning.
"Oh, this is way easier than fighting Gramps."
Buggy's jaw dropped.
"…WHAT."
Another pirate lunged.
Luffy grabbed him by the face and casually spun, using the man like a flail to knock over three others before tossing him into a nearby fruit stand.
Cabaji's expression slowly lost its amusement.
His gaze shifted past Luffy and the mass of grunts charging him towards the other figure.
Toward Zoro, the green-haired swordsman who still. hadn't moved yet. One hand rested lightly on Wado Ichimonji. Watching. Waiting for his chance to have some fun. He had no interest in the parade of trash assaulting Luffy, and honestly, Luffy himself looked like he was having fun thrashing them himself.
Cabaji's eyes narrowed slightly.
"…Now there's a real swordsman. Pirate hunter Zoro."
Zoro smirked.
"…Took you long enough."
Cabaji hopped lightly down from the crate, balancing effortlessly atop the wheel of his unicycle.
Steel flashed as he drew his blades.
"Well then," he said smoothly, spinning one sword lazily through his fingers.
"Why don't we entertain each other while the crew deals with your leader?"
Behind him-
"STOP THROWING MY CREW AT EACH OTHER!" Buggy screamed.
Zoro's grin widened as he stepped forward, hand settling fully onto his swords.
"…Heh."
The air shifted.
Finally
A fight worth taking seriously.