But for now, he'd only stopped her physically. If he couldn't uproot this extreme way of thinking, sooner or later she'd do it again.
Sure enough, Tashiro Benika started struggling, shouting in self-destructive desperation.
"Let go…! Let go of me! Stop sticking your nose in…!"
Looks like he'd have to talk her down, so Kuroba Akira tightened his grip around her legs to keep her from thrashing, and tried to persuade her at the same time.
"Benika-san, listen to me first! Even if you kill yourself right now, there's no guarantee you'll merge with your other self!"
"Y-you… what gives you the right to say that?!"
"Because neither Mr. Hijikata nor I are split personalities! And I don't even have my other self's memories at all!"
That shook Tashiro Benika. She stared at him like she couldn't believe what she'd heard.
"Y-you don't have the memories?"
"Yeah! The three of us all have different cases—there has to be a reason! Even if you copy Mr. Hijikata, it doesn't mean your other self will inherit your memories!"
"Ghk…!"
"And Mr. Hijikata didn't even want to die! At least, the Mr. Hijikata we have now has never once thought about dying, right? Even with a massive debt on his back, he's still trying to pay it off! He's trying to live, too!"
"Mm…"
"If it really is the gods who brought us to this world, then I think this is exactly the outcome they want to see. If you throw your life away on a whim, do you really think the gods would 'give you another chance'?"
"…!"
Akira called out just how reckless her thinking was, then even dragged the "gods" into it, forcing Tashiro Benika to face reality.
He'd clearly talked her down. Once she calmed a little, a wave of fear hit her after the fact.
Just like Akira said—if the gods didn't "look after her" this time… would she die together with her other self?
That wasn't what she wanted!
"So please, come down first, Benika-san. I don't know how much longer I can hold you—my knees are already shaking…"
He could actually hold on a bit longer, but to get her out of danger for good, he deliberately acted like he was running out of strength and complained a little.
"…"
Under that pressure, Tashiro Benika finally gave up on using death to fuse her personalities. Tilting her head back, she loosened the loop from her neck.
A noose made from bath towels wasn't nearly as sturdy as hemp rope, and she wasn't some seasoned suicide—her knot wasn't a true slipknot. Undoing it wasn't that hard.
But the moment she freed herself, the towel above came completely apart. With her upper body suddenly losing support, she yelped and toppled off-balance.
Everyone knows that when you lose your balance, you reflexively grab for something—and right now the only thing supporting Tashiro Benika was Kuroba Akira, who was holding her legs. So as she fell, she instinctively clung to him.
And because they were stacked one above the other, as Benika-san dropped, Akira ended up as the cushion. She landed right on his face—his nose jammed straight into the cleft between her thighs.
Last time was a faceful of boobs. This time it was a faceful of butt… Is this some kind of "reward" for saving someone?
It even made Akira think of that time Class Rep had covered his head with her skirt.
Back then, he'd only dared to sneak a whiff—he hadn't dared touch anything. But today, he'd unexpectedly ended up touching Benika-san's… uh. And there was kind of a sharp, musky smell.
Come to think of it, people who hang themselves can lose control of their bladder… Even though he'd grabbed her legs in time, she might still have leaked a little in the panic.
Benika-san felt the discomfort too. A blush crept up her cheeks, and she immediately spread her legs and scrambled away, freeing Akira from under her.
Akira sat up and wiped his nose with his forearm. The scent still lingered faintly in his nostrils…
But he couldn't exactly complain to someone who'd just been at death's door. He simply went to pick up the high heels he'd thrown aside in the scramble and set them down in front of her.
"Let's go back first, Benika-san. I brought your shoes too."
But Benika-san, cheeks still red, bit down on her lower lip and scooted backward.
"Benika-san?"
"D-don't come any closer!"
"…"
What is this now…? She's acting like I'm about to do something to her… How is that even possible?
Akira thought to himself: it was right here, in this very place, that he'd run into Shiginomiya alone—and even then, he hadn't had any dirty thoughts. Let alone with another woman.
Akira knew the word "gentle" didn't exactly apply to him, but he would never do something criminal.
If it was a willing exchange on both sides, that was one thing. But forcing yourself on someone? That was the behavior of a bottom-feeding piece of trash—worse than a scumbag. He was all for chemically castrating those worthless men who couldn't keep their lower half under control.
But he had no idea what was going on with Tashiro Benika. Not only did she show no gratitude to the person who'd saved her—she was terrified of him and trying to get away.
And it wasn't an act. She was genuinely scared. Even though her legs were so weak she couldn't stand, she still clawed her way away with all her strength. Her stockings and knees scraped raw, leaving blotches of blood on the ground.
She crawled all the way to the altar in front of the shrine's main sanctuary, bowed down, and begged.
"God… please… please… let me disappear…"
Her voice was packed with pain and despair, then broke into on-and-off sobs.
"W-why… why do you still make me exist… If you already let the better me come to this world… why did you leave me behind…"
"Why won't you just make me disappear…! Make me disappear!"
"I don't want to… exist anymore…"
Akira scratched his head. He still didn't understand what had driven her to think like this, so he walked over—but kept about five meters of distance, afraid she'd bolt again.
"Benika-san… why are you thinking something this extreme? Is it because I asked you to be Shion's manager?"
"…"
She didn't answer, so Akira kept going.
"If that really puts you in such a tough spot, then forget I ever said it. I'm asking you—please don't do something this extreme again."
Honestly, that was only the fuse. The thought itself had been there for a long time—she'd already been carrying too much.
Tashiro Benika knew she'd caused Akira a huge amount of trouble. And even though he'd saved her, she'd still treated him like this. The guilt was crushing.
Akira was a good person… she knew that. She'd seen it all with her own eyes.
She should've been able to get along with him properly…
But she couldn't.
Because she was too timid…
Afraid of being hurt…
She hated men. She hated people. But right now… she hated herself even more.
That was why she wanted to disappear.
If she was gone, everything would get better.
---
T/N: heres ur updates :3 meeting the 4 chaps a week quota :3 posting earlier so bonus chaps will be a longer waitttt >:)
bonus chaps
100 stones -> 1 chapter
200 stones -> 2 chapters
300 stones -> 3 chapters
and so on
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