My eyes went wide and I got in shock as the thing that my eyes just saw is none other than a shock to me. I turned around towards Yuan and asked him, "Yuan, what's this? Why did you bring me here?" I asked him this very shockingly.
He didn't say anything to me, in fact, in that place he just smiled and went down from the car. Then he came towards my side and opened the door of the car at my side. I immediately went out from the car the moment he opened it.
"Yuan, why did you bring me to your place?" I asked him.
"Because it's your new home from now onwards," he said it very straight to me without thinking anything, which seems like saying this is very easy for him.
I exhaled sharply and said, "Yuan, are you really out of your mind? Do you even realize what you said to me?" I asked him.
"Yes, I do. That's why I brought you here, because I know this is the best and safest place ever for my girl to stay," he said.
"How do you know or how are you able to decide which is the safest place for me to stay or not? I'll figure it out somehow, but I won't stay here, Yuan. Staying here for one night or just to meet you is a different thing, and staying here for such a long period of time is really a different thing. I hope you can understand it now," I said it.
He exhaled sharply after listening to whatever I had just said to him, and he said, "I know everything. Then tell me, what am I supposed to do when I get to know that my girlfriend is going to roam around the streets of Shanghai day and night? Hmm? Is it a good thing to do? Tell me," he asked me.
"Should I leave you like this only when I know this very well that you don't have a single person here for you? What should I do — leave you like this on the trust of strangers or anyone?" he asked me this a little angrily.
Seeing him even a little angry at me, I couldn't resist his tone of rage. Yes, he is not fully in rage, but the heat of that anger I can sense through his words and his facial expression. And knowing all that, my eyes get filled up with tears, and even after trying so hard, my tears start falling down from my eyes. I tried to control it, but I couldn't, as controlling my emotions was never in my hands, because if it ever was, then the very first thing that I would control is my love for him, and our lives would become much easier for both of us and for everyone, and he also wouldn't need to feel fussed or messed around me. These were the thoughts that were going around inside my mind continuously.
Then Yuan came three steps closer to me, and now he is standing in front of me while erasing the distance between us, and he cupped my face with both of his hands and made me look at him. But I couldn't, because my eyes were filled with so many tears that I was barely able to see his face.
Then he said to me, "Let it fall, let it be. I am here to hold you. No matter how much you break, your Yuan's arms are always here to wrap you around and protect you, even from yourself," he said it.
"I know you are crying because of my tone, but it doesn't mean that I am angry with you. My tone just came in the flow of making you understand that it's the right thing for you to stay here at my place. And trust me, I never meant to make you cry like this. You know that very well," he said it.
"So then why did your tone hold a bit of anger in it?" I asked him.
He looked straight into my eyes and said, "Did you really feel that it was anger?"
I nodded my head.
"It wasn't anger, it's care. It's a fear of myself for you," he said.
"What fear?" I asked him.
"A fear that your silliness will make you land in any kind of problem," he said.
"Yuan, do I really look that silly to you?" I asked him.
"Yes, of course. If it isn't that, then why did you come out of your dormitory without preparing any proper place to stay?" he asked me.
"That's different. It's because I was too lost in the memories of my Shanghai university days there, that Wang Ruoxi and I spent there, that I didn't want to do anything other than that. So I was just reliving those memories and moments of us there, nothing more than that," I said.
"So for the sake of reliving those moments, you thought that you'll think about the place where you need to stay later?" he asked me.
I nodded my head.
Then he slightly tapped on my forehead with his fingertips and said, "This is why I call you a silly girl, because I know your silliness will land you in a problem and make things worse for you," he said.
"It didn't like that, Yuan," I said.
"Now get inside, no more arguments," he said it.
"But Yuan—" I was trying to say something, but he stopped me in the middle of my sentence.
"Do you come inside the house by yourself in a normal way on your legs, or should I make you enter the house in my way of making you enter here?" he said to me.
I know his way of making me enter inside the house is the same way that he did on the road today, and thinking about that again made me blush, and my cheeks turned bright red, which surely couldn't be left unnoticed by him.
He gave a mischievous smile to me and said, "I think my silly girl really wants to enter inside the house in my way." And after saying that, he didn't give me a chance to say anything and lifted me up in his arms — the place where I feel most protected in this whole world.
And he said, "I think my silly girl is getting very used to my ways. I think I should do it regularly."
"Yuan, please don't say these things, it makes me feel so much embarrassed," I said it.
"Why are you feeling embarrassed? I am the one who is saying all these things. I am the shameless one. You don't need to feel embarrassed, you just need to feel only one thing," he said.
"What?" I asked him.
"Feel my love," he said it.
And this really made my Mr. Heart skip a beat, and I felt so shy that I hid my face in him again, and this happened for the second time today. I don't know why he is making me blush so much today.
Then he smiled seeing me like that, seems like he is really enjoying these things, and while walking inside his house he said to me, "I really didn't know that you are so easy to blush. Look at you, I am the one who made you blush this much just now, and you are hiding yourself in me only. What is this supposed to be called?" he asked me.
But I didn't reply to his question, in fact I hid my face more so that he couldn't see my blushed face.
Then after entering inside the house, he put me down on his couch in the living area, and when he put me down there, my eyes were still closed. Then he kneeled down in front of me on the floor and held both of my shoulders with his hands and said in his deep voice — the voice which holds a control over Zhao Shiza — he said,
"Silly girl, you can open your eyes. We have come inside the home. From now onwards, this is our home, and you can stay here till you want to stay here. And honestly, if you ask me about this, then I would never ever let you leave this house in my life till I breathe. But your decision and feelings matter too for me, and I can't make you feel caged here just because I want you to stay here. So you are free to move and fly in the sky, but I really hope that after a hectic day of yours, when you come back to your home to rest, that home must be this one. I really hope that," he said it while holding my hand in his and still kneeling down in front of me.
After hearing these things from him, I slowly opened my eyes and looked at his face, which was already looking at mine.
"Yuan," I said.
He smiled and said, "Yes, my silly girl, say what you want to say. And leave this conversation, my silly girl must be hungry all day long. I should bring her something," he said, and he was about to leave to bring something to eat for me.
But I stopped him and held his hand to stop him. He turned around at me and didn't say anything, just looked at me.
And I said, "Yuan, please stop, don't go. Just stay here. I don't want to be left alone anymore. I need you, please stay here. I don't want to eat anything, I am not feeling like eating anything," I said.
He smiled and said, "I am not going anywhere, my silly girl. I am just here only. But you need to eat something, otherwise it will affect your health. You didn't eat anything all day long, you need to eat something," he said it.
"Yuan, I don't want to eat anything. You just stay here in front of me a little longer, it is enough for me to get back my energy," I said it.
Then Yuan kneeled down again in front of me while I am still sitting on that couch, and we didn't talk about anything. We just looked at each other's face like memorizing it for a lifetime.
The living room lights were already off when we entered here. The only light which is reflecting on our faces is the light of the Shanghai night through that window which is entering inside the living room.
And this is how I find my light in my darkness… and it's sitting right in front of me — my Yuan. Yuan, always and always forever n ever mine...