I spun around, tears blurring my vision, to find Neel standing there in a crisp, formal uniform. The moment I saw him, tears started falling uncontrollably.
"Grandpa... Grandpa..." I choked out, the word catching in my throat over and over again, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"I know, I know," Neel said softly, his hands stabilizing me. "Anin called me. I was on my way to the office, but I got off my bus as soon as I heard."Without another word, Neel took charge and guided me all the way back home. But the moment we turned the corner near my uncle's house, the heavy, devastating sound of collective weeping drifted through the air, hitting me like a physical blow.My feet glued themselves to the pavement. I couldn't take another step toward the room where my grandpa lay. My entire body froze, the harrowing sounds of my family's grief dropping into my chest like a heavy anchor. I couldn't move.
Sensing my paralysis, Neel firmly wrapped his hand around mine. He walked me through the gate and right into the room.
There, lying in the center, was my grandpa. He looked so incredibly peaceful, as if he had simply drifted off into a deep, uninterrupted sleep.
The sight shattered the last of my restraint. I screamed through my tears, my voice cracking with desperation. "Grandpa is just sleeping! Why are you guys crying? Don't cry! Mom, please don't cry!"
I pulled my hand out of Neel's grip, stepping closer to the bed. "Grandpa, wake up. Wake up!"
I reached out and held him, looking down into his face, desperately waiting for his eyes to flutter open. But he didn't look back at me. I begged him. I pleaded with him over and over, but he remained perfectly still. When my skin brushed against his, a cold shock ran through me—his body was as cold as a stone. How could his usually soft, warm body feel so completely frozen?
I took his hand—that beautiful, familiar hand. His favorite watch was still strapped to his wrist, its ticking completely indifferent to the tragedy in the room.
"Grandpa, it's almost ten o'clock," I whispered frantically, trying to pull him back to reality. "Won't you have your breakfast? They're saying such weird things..."
Hearing my erratic rambling, my aunts rushed over, gently but firmly trying to pull me away from him. I fought against their grip, forcing myself to stay by his side, but my legs suddenly lost all their strength. I couldn't keep my body upright.My heart was beating so fast that I could hear it in my ears. Slowly, all the crying and shouting around me faded away until everything became silent.
The last thing I heard before the darkness swallowed me entirely was a distant voice shouting, "Anin, hold her!"
When my eyes finally open, the familiar ceiling of Anin's room came into focus.The room was empty. I couldn't remember what had happened, but my chest hurt so much that it felt hard to breathe. Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks.Driven by a sudden panic, I hurried off the bed. It was only as I approached the door that I noticed Anin. He was sitting right in front of the room, slumped over and staring blankly at the floor. I walked over and sank down onto the floor right in front of him. His eyes were bloodshot, swollen, and thoroughly tear-stained. Seeing him look so utterly pathetic and broken shattered the dam inside me. I started to sob, my voice trembling and creaking with fear.
"What happened, Anin? Why are you crying?"
He raised his heavy head and looked at me, but no words came out. More tears just spilled silently from his eyes.
"I... I can't remember anything," I whimpered, clutching my chest. "But my heart aches so much."
Without a word, Anin pulled me forward into a tight, desperate embrace. I sat on the floor between his legs as he buried his face into the crook of my neck, his shoulders shaking violently as he began to sob. I weakly tapped his back, my voice reduced to a broken whisper. "Please... just let me know what happened."
"Grandpa is dead," he sobbed harder, the words muffled against my skin.
Hearing those words, everything came back to me. The bus ride, the phone call, Grandpa, everything."No!" I panicked, pushing him away with a sudden burst of frantic energy.
I scrambled to my feet, desperate to run back to that room, but Anin's grip snapped around my wrist, pulling me back. "Benny, listen to me," he said, his voice thick with grief. "You've been unconscious for eight hours. You collapsed... Grandpa is already buried."
It felt like something physically slammed into my heart. The air left my lungs in a sharp gasp, and I suddenly couldn't inhale. My breath got completely stuck in my throat. Hyperventilating, a blinding panic seized my entire body.Seeing me struggle to breathe, Anin's eyes widened in panic. He grabbed my shoulders tightly.
"Benny! Benny!" he shouted, his voice shaking. "Relax, relax. Try to breathe."
But I couldn't.Hearing Anin's desperate screams, my mom came running into the room. The moment she saw me gasping for air, she burst into fresh tears, frantically calling out to the rest of the house for help.
In a last-ditch effort to ground myself, I reached out and grabbed Anin's hand. I pulled his palm firmly against my mouth, using the barrier to force myself to mimic a slow, steady breathing pattern.
My wide, panicked eyes locked onto his.I could barely see anything through my tears. My chest hurt so much that I could hardly breathe. Only one thought kept repeating in my mind.
I couldn't see grandpa one last time.
I couldn't say goodbye.
Within seconds, the heavy thud of running footsteps echoed down the hall. Every single member of the family rushed into the small room, crowding around us in a sea of shared grief and panic. They were all there. Everyone was accounted for.
Everyone except my grandpa.