Sam's POV
I hate goodbyes. Not only do I suck at them but they make me feel so bad. Perhaps it is one of the reasons I tend not to build strong relationships. Because I know that I'd have to get away from those whom I cared about eventually. I sat in the kitchen, waiting for everybody to wake up. I had already packed everything up. So all I had to do was make breakfast. I decided to get to it so that I could get my mind off it. I made pancakes and also whipped up some cookie dough and baked it into golden brown round cookies. I figured Emily would need the extra dose of sugar today.
As the sweet smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air, Emily made her way to the kitchen with Damon in her hands and Jason in tow.
"Mmm what smells so good?" Emily asked me as she sat at the table.
"Cookies and pancakes!" I told her as I put on the oven mittens and got out the cookies.
"I could really get used to this." Jason said as I placed the cookies on a tray for them to eat.
"Well… That's what I needed to talk to you about. It's time for me to leave." I said going straight to the point.
"What?" Emily asked, diverting her attention from cooling the cookie on her plate to looking bewildered at me.
"I said I-"
"Don't say it again. I heard you the first time! Why?" She interrupted me.
"You know me. I never stick around long enough. It's time for me to take off."
"Come on Sam, we're a family now! You can't leave!"
"Don't worry. I'm going to leave you the house and the car." I interjected, trying to calm her down.
"Do you really think this is about money or stuff? Sam you're my best friend. I don't know what I would do without you!"
"Em, do you remember what I told you when you moved in? I'm not the one to form bonds. It's time for me to go. Period. I'm really sorry if it upsets you and I realise that this is my fault for letting you get attached to me. Plus, I'm sure that Jason and you would like some private time."
"Yeah, but not at the expense of kicking you out of your own house! Is this the reason why you're moving? Please don't, I need you."
"No, you don't. Emily' you're a strong, independent and smart woman. You can do everything you want to if you set your mind to it. And now you have two guys make you happier." I said glancing at Jason who had Damon in his hands. He smiled kindly at me.
"I'll miss you so much, Sam." She said and hugged me tightly.
"Yeah, me too." I said and hugged her back. My eyes felt moist and my heart hurt as if it was shrinking.
Though l admit that I felt like crying, leaving Emily was probably the smartest choice I could make. Had I stayed any longer with her it would have been much more difficult to leave. I would really miss Emily and Damon. Emily had become my best friend.
Why did it always end like this? Every single relationship I get involved in always ended up with me saying goodbye. Chelsea, Heidi, Emily and Damon. All those whom I cared about it seemed that I would have to leave them.
And...Alec.
The more I love him and the more I need him, the more I have to stay away from him. Saying goodbye to him had not only wrecked my entire existence but also unbalanced my control on the visions. It seemed that he was my only barrier protecting me from insanity and loneliness. Now that he was gone... far away from me, I was constantly struggling against them. Always fighting a battle that I would always lose.
I continued to stare out of the plane's window, but all there was to see were clouds. I was going to one of the most sunless places in Alaska, where the Cullens would be moving too. When I first talked to them about it, I had been excited, but now I couldn't seem to get myself to care. As beautiful as Alaska might be, or any other place in the world, without him it might as well be hell.
Suddenly alarm popped in my head like a bubble. Judging from what I had heard, the Volturi weren't exactly BFFs with the Cullens. They had told me all about their encounter with the Volturi because of Nessie's birth. I had managed to not think romantically about Alec for the whole hour because of Edward. But doing it for many years would be so damn difficult. At least I knew I had complete privacy in my visions unless I touch their forehead like when I had dragged Alec in my vision.
I sighed in exasperation. I wondered if I was doing the right thing. If what I wanted was being with the Cullens then why did I feel so depressed? Even if technically the Cullens were like me, vegetarians we would never be the same. Amongst them I'll be an outcast once more.
Because that's what I am. An outcast. I won't fit anywhere because I'm just a restless ghost looking for a place to hide in.
I sighed once more. Since when had I become so emo? The plane had finally landed and so I followed everybody out. I got my luggage and headed out through the arrival's sliding door. I looked around me and the first thing I saw was Nessie with Jacob waving like crazy. I went next to them and Nessie engulfed me in an awkward hug. She looked up at me and must have realized that I wasn't in one of my best moods.
"Is something wrong?" She asked me, her eyebrows furrowing.
"No… well, it's just that I really miss Emily and Damon." I told her truthfully, excluding the part about Alec.
"But you know that you'd have to part ways with her eventually. I know it may hurt but eventually things will get better." She said to me. I nodded.
"And we are all the proof you need of that." Jacob said and put his arm around her waist as we walked to their car.
"Huh?" I asked them, not really sure what they meant. Nessie looked at Jacob as if they were having some unspoken conversation. He nodded at her and she put her hand to my cheek. I knew she was going to show me something with her power. I just didn't expect what she was going to show me.
I saw a young Nessie, maybe two or three years younger than what she looked now. She was fighting with Jake over some thing I did not quite understand. Then she slapped him and ran out of the house. The next thing I saw she was wearing a very pretty party dress and she was dancing with some friends and some dude tried to sexually harass her. She didn't want to show her strength or appear nerdish in front of the others so she let him touch her, that is until Jacob came in the picture and beat the shit out of the guy. I was pulled out of the vision and back to reality.
"Okay! What was that?" I asked her.
"My power." She answered casually.
"That part I understood. I mean what did you show me?"
"Tell me, Sam. How much do you know about werewolves?"
"Um, that real werewolves turn in a full moon, shifters turn at their own will and coincidently took the shape of wolves. Oh and that Marcus had all the werewolves wiped out of Europe." I said, rethinking about what Alec had said.
"She's informed." Jacob commented
"Well, one thing you don't know is that werewolves imprint. An imprint is a bond that forms between a werewolf and a mate. It's very strong and something that's impossible to break as it actually caused physical pain to the couple if they're apart for too long. Jake and I have been imprinted since I was born and according to my mother even before that, when she was still carrying me in her womb. What I showed you was the worst period of our bond. I had tried to deny it by all means. I had made some friends and amongst them there were many males who treated me very friendly. Jake had gotten very jealous and well… at that time I thought of him as just a close family friend. But when he told me that the bond enhanced his feeling for me and made him possessive over me, I took it as a challenge, with ended up really badly, as you have seen. But the point in all of this is that even if you feel really bad eventually things will get better." She said and Jake hugged her tightly to him. "Perhaps even better than you would have ever hoped for." Jake concluded and twirled her around and kissed her shortly put the burning passion between them was obvious. I looked away and felt my eyes moist and a pang of jealousy banging inside my heart. How I wished what they had just said was true.
They broke away and I seen both their eyebrows furrow. "Are you really okay?" She asked me once more.
I rubbed my eyes as if to wipe my unshed tears and forced myself to smile at them.
"As you said, things will get better." I told her. She smiled kindly at me and helped me to load my suitcases on their car. We all got in and left. I sighed internally. I needed to woman up accept a new phase in my life.