Basel, April 1941.
Several days had passed since the intervention of the grocer and the German soldier. Since then, I ask Heinrich to close the door every time he leaves for work. I even ask him to knock twice before opening the door. I know I seem crazy asking him that, but I thought I was finally safe here in Switzerland, but apparently even in another country people want to harm us.
There is also something that has changed in Heinrich. He has become quite distant. Usually, when he comes home from work, he always talks to me enthusiastically, explaining his day. Now I practically have to pull the words out of his mouth to get any information. I don't know at all what happened with the two men and how he managed to make them leave. I'm afraid of what he might have done. Would he have been capable of killing those two men?
I still have many questions about what Heinrich is hiding from me about his past as a soldier. I am very afraid of what I might discover, but I fear that despite what he may have done, I remain in love with him.
Despite my fear of going outside, I ask Heinrich every day to bring me newspapers so I can continue my little investigations about my family. I know there is a high chance that I won't find anything at all, but deep down I am sure that my family is still alive.
For days and days, I have been cutting things out of these newspapers, and I try to connect the important points, but nothing very interesting comes out of it. Only the same names keep appearing, like that dictator whom I despise deep in my gut. Suddenly, I remember all the other newspapers and photos I had put in my room. I head toward it.
My hand cannot turn the door handle.
-Why is it locked? I wondered.
It's strange. I have always left my room open. The only time it was closed was when Suzanne moved the bodies of the two men. Heinrich must have closed it. But why? And how am I going to continue my research without all the necessary information?
Despite all my efforts to try to open that door, I am still stuck at the starting point. I will wait for Heinrich to come back to ask him to open it for me.
Hours later.
I hear the door open, Heinrich has arrived.
-Hello, are you okay?
-Hello, yes very well, he answered coldly.
-Could I ask you to open the door to my room? I need to get some things but it was locked.
-Uh what? Why do you want to go into your room? he asks.
-Well I just told you, I have things to get?
His reaction is really strange. Why is he so shocked that I want to go into my room? Is he hiding something serious from me? A silence quickly takes place. He doesn't even dare to look me in the eyes anymore.
-Can I have the key then?
-Listen, I will go get your things myself and bring them to you.
I nod and decide to let him do it to avoid an unnecessary confrontation, even if I still don't understand his reaction. And I start to ask myself even more questions about what he might have done yesterday to those two men.
1 hour later.
I hear Heinrich's light snoring filling the room more and more, and my desire to discover what is hidden in my room becomes stronger and stronger, and my curiosity is too powerful to keep me sitting in the armchair.
I take the key from his pocket and manage not to wake him up. I head toward my room and insert the key. I open the door and a strong nauseating smell reaches my nose. Despite the smell, I still go inside, my hand against my nose. I see my bags at the back of the room, and then I notice.
I notice huge bloodstains.
-Oh what horror, I whispered.
That's what he didn't want me to see. But what did he do to them? I am really starting to be afraid of him.
What if that is what he was hiding from me about his past? What if he took pleasure in killing my people? What if I am next?
All these questions invade my mind, and I must find the answers or I risk the worst. I don't want to die at the hands of a German. I didn't go through all of this to end up like my people. I deserve better. And I want first to find my family, who I am sure managed to survive all of this.
1 week later.
-Ruth, if tonight I'm not here, my boss is inviting me for a drink, Heinrich says.
-Oh okay, no problem. I'll take the opportunity to read a book.
He kisses me and disappears after closing the door. It has already been a week since I have had suspicions about what Heinrich is hiding from me. I keep searching and asking him questions, but he always changes the subject and I have no clues that would allow me to know more.
However, after getting newspapers from another grocery store, I discovered new information about the Jews. The Germans announced that many Jews managed to escape from the trucks heading to the camps, which is great news. And there is a chance that a member of my family managed to get out.
Suzanne has started to feel much better since the incident. She feels more comfortable talking to me about her past. She still struggles to process the death of her son, but she is gradually managing to accept his absence.
I didn't talk to Suzanne about what I saw. I was afraid of her reaction. I know she would tell me that he is still a German soldier, but I love him and I can't bring myself to think that he could have killed someone.
And after all, it is thanks to him that we are here, safe. Suddenly, someone knocks on the door. I open it and see Suzanne.
-Oh Suzanne, what are you doing here?
-Ruth, I know you won't want to hear me, but I absolutely had to tell you.
-What's going on? You're scaring me.
-It's something I should have told you a while ago, but I didn't dare to imagine him doing that.
-Who are you talking about?
-Heinrich. The day of the incident, when he came back after his confrontation with the two men, I don't know why but I had a doubt about what he did to them. And when I asked him how he got rid of them, he gave me a dark look and refused to answer.
Everything she is telling me is starting to make me face reality. I'm afraid of where she is going with this.
-So I kept this feeling to myself, but I was worried about you. I asked around about Heinrich, talking with Paul. He revealed to me that he had killed several Jews, and not because he was forced to. He did it on his own. I wanted to tell you, Ruth, because you are my friend and you deserve to know the truth.
The news shocks me so much that I can't say anything at all. I can't believe that Heinrich would have been capable of killing someone. I knew he was hiding something, but I still hoped it wasn't true.
-Thank you Suzanne for telling me, but you know I suspected that he had done something to them, but I just didn't want to believe it.
I see her sit down next to me.
-But Suzanne?
-Yes? she asks.
-I love him.
-I know Ruth, I know.