The sandalwood is rich and overwhelming.
Without opening the window, the aroma persists in the shrine.
Aside from the sound of the Buddha beads being turned, nothing else can be heard.
Kneeling before the Buddha, the elderly woman with gray hair opens and closes her mouth, silently chanting.
From sunrise to sunset.
She had grown accustomed to it, just like she had grown used to the sandalwood scent.
A lifetime under the green lamp and the old Buddha, it should be peaceful, even resigned, all thoughts should be extinguished, burned into the green ash before the Buddha.
But in these past six months, she had been unable to quiet her mind, her heartbeat louder with each beat.
Like the ashes long left uncleaned in the incense burner, suddenly falling into embers.
Wanting to blaze up, yet powerless.
Slowly lifting her clouded eyes, gazing at the willow branch in Guanyin's hand, in a daze, she felt as though the verdant branch had bloomed purple flowers.
With each breath, besides the familiar sandalwood scent, there was also a faint sweet fragrance.
The scent of the Yunluo flowers.
Her heavy eyelids trembled slightly, a thousand-pound stone weighed on her chest, yet not a tear could fall.
"Madam, the Third Master has come, please have your meal."
A voice, aged like a withered tree, broke the silence.
The floral scent dissipated instantly, the willow branch remained just a willow branch.
A soft sigh escaped her slightly chapped lips, she was now the old Madam, those who called her "Yunluo" were no longer here.
That person is no longer here.
Yunluo slowly responded, slowly set down the Buddha beads, slowly stood up, slowly rubbed her sore, swollen legs, and slowly walked outside.
Outside the shrine, a pair of strong hands supported the trembling elder, the young man smiled and said: "Grandmother, I've come to dine with you."
The radiant smile, even in this winter, dyed it with warmth, five parts resembling the face not seen for half a lifetime, Yunluo gazed deeply for a long time, instinctively raising her hand to the boy, but when her eyes touched those slightly yellowed nails, full of wrinkles, her action suddenly stopped. She slowly lowered her hand and said faintly, "Let's go."
A trace of reluctance flashed in the young man's eyes, he knew Grandmother had mistaken someone again, she constantly saw someone else's shadow in him over the past six months.
In truth, the person Grandmother wants to see is Father, right…
Yet Father, considering Mother, would not come to see Grandmother, not even allowing them brothers to come.
In her old age, after years of vegetarianism, the diet was exceptionally simple.
Even so, she barely touched the dishes on the table, the young man hesitated repeatedly, tentatively spoke: "Grandmother, don't blame Father, he…"
Yunluo set down her chopsticks, stared straight at the young man, her gaze stopped his words, heavily saying: "I want to go see the Arch."
In the sunset, the cold, oppressive stone Arch stood like a great mountain, pressing before her.
Yunluo raised her head, silently gazing for a long time.
This was a Chastity Arch.
Her entire life was a Chastity Arch.
That year in March's spring, the Du Family's Fifth Sister Yunluo married, three months into the marriage, her husband received the emperor's command to don armor and go to war, thereafter, meeting seldom parting often.
Five years into the marriage, her husband died on the battlefield, wrapped in horsehide.
She cried till no tears were left, adopted a clan child, under the green lamp and old Buddha, exchanged for this imperial bestowed Chastity Arch.
This was her life's honor, yet also her life's shackle.
After a while, Yunluo sighed: "I know, just knowing it too late, raising someone else's child, and raising one's own, is always different."
The young man was first stunned, then realizing, his face flushed with embarrassment, instinctively shook his head, but any words to defend Father were stuck in his throat.
Over the years, he had heard many rumors.
People said Grandmother's feelings for Father were abnormal, against ethics, Grandmother had made Father into Grandfather's substitute, any mother-son affection had long soured.
Father dared not approach Grandmother, even though now Grandmother was already elderly, even though Father himself was already past fifty.
Mother, mentioning Grandmother, gritted her teeth in hatred, as though her most cherished possession was being spied upon.
Only he, defying Mother's opposition, again and again came to visit Grandmother.
He had always felt, the love and care in Grandmother's eyes were not as those people said.
"Grandmother…"
Yunluo shook her head with a bitter smile.
She remembered, it was her tenth year of widowhood, the clan brought a five-year-old boy before her.
Yunluo initially intended to refuse, but upon seeing the child's eyes, she inexplicably nodded.
That nurturing lasted a lifetime, she gave all the warmth left in her heart to the adopted son, staying sleepless during his smallpox, taking meticulous care when injured during practice, thinking she did well enough, but only until the daughter-in-law entered the house did she realize, it was but the mirror's Shui Yue.
To them, the motherly love and filial piety were tainted by her improper thoughts, became her blemish.
The rumors came crashing in, Yunluo chose to let go, her heart had died.
If it were her own son, would she have borne such a reputation?
She stubbornly believed that as long as she had a Buddha hall and a string of Buddha beads, it would be enough.
It wasn't until half a year ago that Yunluo discovered her husband's death was a conspiracy. She knelt before the Buddha for three days and three nights, pondering for the same duration.
Was she wrong?
In the past, her sisters said that marrying a soldier was a gamble; unwilling to gamble, she quarreled with her elders until her mother threatened with death to force her into the wedding sedan.
In the past, her sister-in-law said he might never return, and she cried and pleaded. Eventually, he left for the frontier, filled with concern.
Her sister-in-law's words came true. She lost completely, breaking ties with her parents, accepting the family arrangements, living life like a puppet step by step for decades.
In the past six months, Yunluo often dreamed of a courtyard full of flowers, the fragrance dispelling the sandalwood that confined her.
Those past events, the long-suppressed yearning, love, reluctance, and guilt surged like a tidal wave.
She slowly remembered that day when he lifted her veil—it was also a courtyard full of flowers, guests congratulating with "a bright future" and "a beautiful couple." She heard his hearty laughter, just like those years he was by her side.
Had she ever thought that the youth with a bright future would die young, becoming bones in the frontier? Had she ever thought that the beautiful wife would wither early, becoming a heartless chanting person?
Yunluo slowly stepped forward, resting on the cold stone pillar.
She knew she didn't have long to live. She kept dreaming of the past, of him, of his smile like the warm winter sun.
He planted a courtyard of Yunluo Flowers for her, picking a bunch to place by the window each time they bloomed;
He adorned her with the gentle East Pearl, refusing to let go of her jade-like wrist;
He shielded her from elders' censure and difficulties, protecting her behind him;
He did all he could for her,
except returning safely...
Gazing back forlornly, those once blurred images slowly became clear, then faded into vagueness again...
She truly was wrong!
Such a wonderful youth, why did she believe those idle rumors? Why was she forced into the sedan? Why let him go to war with worries? Why hurt her parents' hearts? Why did she only realize her heart had been given away while sobbing with his memorial tablet in hand?
Why!
Why!
Yunluo felt the Chastity Arch was hateful and loathsome, her fingers pressing hard, leaving five bloody marks.
She wanted revenge, but there was no one left to take revenge upon. Her enemies were all tablets in the shrine behind this arch.
Visible, but untouchable.
Night deepened, the elderly find it hard to sleep.
In a daze, she heard the maid opening the door, whispering lowly, followed by an exclamation.
"The arch, the arch has fallen?"
Yunluo suddenly awoke, struggling to sit up, but her limbs lacked strength.
She lay in bed, breathing deeply, slowly lifting the corners of her mouth, her gaze intense.
It had fallen, and so it was good.
The Chastity Arch, what use is it!
She had been trapped her whole life; would she still let the arch suffocate her after she was dead?
Breathing grew heavier, and maids came and went, the courtyard bright as day, unlike the deep night.
"Old madam, hold on, Third Master, Third Master will be here soon to see you."
Yunluo widened her cloudy eyes, vaguely seeing someone sitting by the bedside, brows handsome, no different from her memory.
Reaching out, yet unable to touch, like countless midnight dreams over fifty years.
Yunluo's face was wet with tears.
She was already an old woman with white hair, while that person was forever in his prime.
She wanted to go with him, back to the time engraved in her memory, when the Yunluo Flowers blossomed...
With cracked lips, she whispered, her hand gently falling by the bedside, Yunluo smiled, leaving behind the last two words.
Princely Heir...
The cries faded, and before her eyes was the collapsed arch, the shrine half-destroyed.
Yunluo's heart ached dully, the pain suffocating.
She didn't want that man enshrined in the shrine early; she wanted him to accompany her into old age. She didn't want to raise others' children; she wanted their own son!
If she could return to the past, she would never let her husband die in vain, never let her enemies have a good end!
Before consciousness faded, she glanced deeply at the shrine, finding the person who was always in her thoughts.
The late Heir of Duke Dingyuan, Mu Lianxiao.