The teachers sitting across from Lockhart all had stone-cold expressions on their faces.
From where he was sitting, Sean could see a muscle twitching in Professor McGonagall's cheek. Professor Snape looked like someone had just forced a huge mug of Skele-Gro down his throat.
Dumbledore was the only one who seemed totally oblivious, still smiling away like nothing was wrong.
"How's the plan coming along?" Justin whispered, keeping his voice low enough that only Sean and Hermione could hear.
"Just a few more days," Hermione replied. She looked way more exhausted than usual—these past few days, she'd barely gotten any rest.
"Hermione, I mean, you could take a break every now and then," Justin said, glancing at her and then at Sean. He realized he'd given this same advice to more than one friend before.
Hermione didn't respond, just let out an uncontrollable yawn.
Right then, Lockhart clapped his hands up on the stage, grabbing everyone's attention.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Happy Valentine's Day!" Lockhart boomed. "So far, thirty-six people have sent me cards, and I'd like to thank them all! Yep, I took the liberty of setting up this little surprise for everyone—and that's not all!"
Lockhart glanced toward the doors of the hall, and in marched twelve grumpy-looking dwarfs from the entrance hall doors.
These weren't your average dwarfs, either—Lockhart had decked them out with golden wings and harps slung over their backs.
"My friendly, card-delivering cupids!" Lockhart announced cheerfully. "They'll be wandering the school all day, handing out your Valentine's cards! And the fun doesn't stop there! I'm sure my colleagues will jump right in! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion?"
That got a big laugh from the crowd.
The Slytherins were smirking at Lockhart, giving him this superior, pitying look.
As for Snape's expression? It screamed that if anyone dared ask him about Love Potions, they'd end up chugging poison instead.
If Ron and Harry saw Professor Snape looking like that, they'd bolt as far away as possible.
But Lockhart? Nah, he just kept yapping away, tossing occasional glances at Dumbledore.
Sean wasn't really interested in Lockhart's ridiculous antics, but he was super curious about the guy's skills with Memory Charms.
That's why he was teaming up with Justin and Hermione for this.
With Veritaserum in play, Sean wouldn't have to sort out which parts of the Memory Charm master's stories were over-the-top exaggerations and which were the real deal.
"Um, speaking of which," Hermione said tiredly, with a hint of caution in her voice, "last month, when the Polyjuice Potion wasn't even close to being ready, I needed some Jobberknoll feathers. And those are only available in Professor Snape's private storeroom..."
That caught a bit of Sean's attention.
"So, at the end of the last Potions class before Christmas, I accidentally spotted a Jobberknoll feather in the front cabinet down in the dungeons... That's some seriously rare magical stuff. Sean, you're down there a lot—did you help out with that?"
Hermione asked quietly.
"Nope," Sean denied.
But it did remind him of something: Before Christmas, Professor Snape had asked him to use magic to organize all the bird feather ingredients in that front cabinet.
Looks like... Snape knows a thing or two about Lockhart...
"Later, when we tried to replace it..." Justin picked up the thread.
"We found the feathers had already been restocked."
Hermione was clearly lost in thought.
"Don't sweat it," Sean said softly. He had a pretty good idea what was going on.
The professors seemed to have some... serious beef with Lockhart.
While the three of them were chatting, Lockhart's voice cut through like a gust of wind: "If you're interested, Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard I've ever met, the sly old fox!"
Professor Flitwick immediately buried his face in his hands.
That made the whole Ravenclaw table scrunch up their brows in annoyance.
And just like that, this "special" Valentine's Day kicked off.
All day long, those dwarfs kept barging into classes to deliver Valentine's cards, driving the teachers up the wall.
That afternoon, as the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws headed upstairs together for Charms, one of the dwarfs suddenly chased after Sean.
"Oh, Mr. Sean Green! Hold up!" a dwarf called out, its face lighting up as it elbowed through the crowd toward him.
Sean flicked his wand and vanished into thin air.
The dwarf blinked in confusion, then spun around and headed for Harry, who was cracking up and scanning the crowd for the now-invisible Sean.
"Hey, you! Yeah, you! Harry Potter!" the dwarf shouted, its face darkening again as it reached Harry's side.
"This is..." Harry froze.
Getting a Valentine's card right in front of a bunch of first-years? Talk about embarrassing.
That's when Harry thought to make a run for it.
But before he could get two steps away, the dwarf was kicking shins left and right, shoving through the crowd to catch up.
"I've got a musical message to deliver to Harry Potter in person," the dwarf said, strumming the harp with an aggressive twang.
"Not here," Harry hissed, trying to bolt again.
"Stay put!" the dwarf grumbled, grabbing Harry's bag and yanking him back.
"Let go!" Harry yelled, tugging hard on the bag.
With a loud rip, the bag split in two.
Books, wand, parchment, and quill went flying onto the floor, the ink bottle shattering on top of it all.
Harry scrambled to grab everything, desperate to scoop it up before the dwarf started singing, which just caused a total jam in the hallway.
"Harry doesn't look so hot," Justin said to the empty air as he walked by.
"Yeah, should we jump in and help?" the air replied.
"Did he forget he's a wizard? Picking stuff up by hand? No way that's gonna work in time," Hermione said, smacking her forehead.
Harry was totally freaking out, just wanting to get out of there, but the dwarf latched onto his knees and sent him crashing to the ground.
"Alright," the dwarf said, plopping down on Harry's knees. "Here's your musical Valentine's Day greeting:
His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard.
I wish he was mine,
He's really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord—"
The dwarf's voice was basically a mix of nails on a chalkboard and a howling banshee.
Hermione covered her mouth to hide her grin, while Justin next to her was laughing so hard he could barely catch his breath.