And with the Chaos Gacha in my corner, maybe this time… just maybe… I could change the script.
[Ding]!
[Congratulations for surviving you first day]
[Bronze Random Roll Activated]
The slot machine flickered into view, spinning sluggishly compared to the earlier rolls. I leaned back, praying for something useful. Maybe a weapon, a skill, a passive buff—
The reel stopped.
[Digestive Expulsion Independence]
|Trash Trait|
You never piss or shit. Don't ask where all the waste in your body goes.
I blinked.
"…What the actual hell?"
So instead of fire magic or sword skills, I got… eternal constipation powers? My face twitched.
No bathroom trips ever again. Ever.
Was that a win or a curse? I didn't know, and I wasn't about to question it.
I rubbed my temples, trying not to groan aloud.
---
The walk to school felt both nostalgic and surreal.
Kuoh Academy — a place I knew from the anime and manga. Seeing it with my own eyes made it real in a way that was hard to process. The clean white buildings, the immaculate gates, and most of all… the sea of girls in Kuoh uniforms walking past me — and most of them avoiding me.
I know that being that open labeled me as a pervert spouting "oppai." Well, considering the past me, I don't blame them.
If I didn't know better, I'd think I'd landed in some slice-of-life anime instead of a supernatural deathtrap waiting for me.
Since this is the start of the school year, there's probably about two weeks before canon starts. I should probably be ready by then — ready to take on Raynare, the fallen angel sent to kill me.
A vial of holy water is useless against a fallen angel, and only the Anti-Material Rifle or the Riot Shotgun could kill or injure one. But that's only if I'm far enough away — or close enough — which isn't viable, considering I'm still a squishy human being.
Being a sniper requires knowing where the target is, and considering the abandoned church is their HQ — filled with stray exorcists and three other fallen angels — I should wait and see if I'm ready by then. There are summons that could be useful to me.
I adjusted my bag and tried not to stare. Focus, Issei. Focus.
I started walking toward my classroom — Class 3-B. When I opened the classroom door, I saw countless desks neatly arranged. I walked toward my assigned seat in the right corner of the room.
I surveyed the space and felt a bit weird. I had already graduated high school once… but now I was back again.
Matsuda and Motohama were there, waiting for me.
Marcus's memories mixed with Issei's made it even weirder. Half of me was a guy in his twenties — jaded and a little burned out. The other half was a teenage boy whose hormones spiked like a rollercoaster the moment a skirt swished by.
The migraine from earlier still pulsed faintly at the back of my skull — Archive Magic waiting like an unopened book. With this, I could breeze through Merlin's Magic System, considering it's based on math. But it required an actual spell as a foundation, which gave me a conundrum on how to contact the supernaturals.
I could go to the devils, but I didn't have any significant items to trade. Considering they're Satan's sisters, they have countless riches — heirs of noble descent. I could probably use a Stimpak, since healing items that affect devils seem rare, but I only had ten of them.
I could sell or exchange the Stimpaks for magic of dxd.
There are two heiresses in this school: the Student Council President, Sona Shitori (Sitri), and the great Onee-sama, Rias Gremory of the Ars Goetia.
Sona was likely more approachable — logical, pragmatic, and possibly interested in the right kind of trade.
I snapped out of my thoughts.
"Yo, Ise!" Matsuda waved from across the room, already grinning like an idiot. Motohama wasn't far behind, adjusting his glasses in that creepy way that made girls edge away from him.
They were my friends — and together, we were the so-called Perverted Trio.
"Morning, you two degenerates," I said, dropping my bag on the desk.
"Degenerates?" Matsuda clutched his chest like I'd shot him. "Ise, you wound me! We're researchers of the female form!"
"Yeah," Motohama added seriously, lenses glinting. "You have to appreciate the art, not just the lust. It's about balance."
I gave him a blank stare. "That's literally the definition of coping."
They both groaned in unison, and I had to bite back a chuckle. For all their stupidity, it was almost comforting — something normal in a world I knew was anything but.
I exhaled slowly and prayed to the Lord that everything would be alright.
---
The day dragged on — filled with lectures I already knew and hormones I didn't need. By the time the final bell rang, I already had a plan forming.
This was probably stupid, but I needed to be introduced to the supernatural fast.
If I was going to survive in this world, I needed a foothold in the supernatural — and that meant magic.
I could only go so far using my Wastelander's Survival Kit. The armor could stop bullets, but not magic — especially if I had to face the fallen angel that would kill me in two weeks (or three, if I agreed to the date).
Archive Magic gave me the framework, but not the foundation. To use it properly, I needed to understand how this world's magic system worked — formulas, circles, incantations, energy flow. And who better to ask than Sona Sitri, one of the smartest devils in Kuoh?
And conveniently, she was just a few floors down.
[Ding]
[Dealing with a Devil]
[Silver Ability Roll Activated]
"Hahaha!" I couldn't help but laugh. "So, this Gacha rewards effort, huh? Let's see what I got."
[Intermediate Persuasion]
|Uncommon Skill|
You are skilled in convincing people, with your words or actions, like a used car salesman or a lawyer. You have a decent feel for what words would resonate with the type of person you're speaking with.
This was perfect — just what I needed for what came next.
I stood in front of the Student Council Room door and knocked lightly.
A few seconds later, a calm, even voice replied, "Come in."
Right now, I was about to face one of the biggest challenges in my life. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
---
The room was exactly how I imagined it — neat, efficient, and serious. Stacks of papers, neatly organized books, and Sona Sitri behind her desk, adjusting her glasses and writing some kind of reports and Student Council stuff.
Tsubaki Shinra stood nearby, quiet and watchful.
"Hyoudou Issei," Sona said, setting her pen down. "To what do I owe the visit?
I wasn't quite aware you were interested in student government, now are you here to repent Hyoudou issei."
"Sorry for dropping in," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "Not that but I wanted to make a trade."
Her brow arched slightly. "A trade?"
I placed a Stimpak on her desk — the metallic injector gleaming under the fluorescent lights.
"This is a Stimpak," I said. "A medicine that can heal wounds instantly."
Her eyes narrowed, skeptical. "Instant healing? That's quite the claim."
"Test it," I said simply. "You'll see."
She looked at me, then glanced toward Tsubaki.
"Well, even if so, do you have evidence and proof that this work?" she said slowly and perplexed why this person intrude her day.
"why come to me instead of some large pharmaceutical company?"
I shrugged slightly. "Because no company would believe me. And even if they did, they'd just try to destroy me for it. You, on the other hand, might actually understand what this means."
That made her pause. Her gaze sharpened
Her Queen, Tsubaki Shinra, moved forward, positioning herself between Sona and me. Her voice carried a steel edge — calm but ready to strike.
"Who are you, and what do you want?"
I raised my hands in surrender.
" well I'm Hyoudou Issei as you know but im also a someone that want from you a trade — that's what I said earlier, isn't it? Sona Sitri"
The way her name is said have given her a pause.
"I don't know how you came across that information but this situation but if you're here to take advantage of this and threaten us you will not leave here alive"
The situation is palpable and magical energy start rising through the room.
The Student Council Members who have been focusing on their work stopped and came to their president side and ready for a fight.
I sighed, letting a small smirk slip. "Well, this is about what I expected. Guess I'll have to show my hand."
With a flick of thought, a bowie knife materialized in my grasp. The sudden gleam of steel made Tsubaki's eyes narrow and Sona's fingers twitch, faint demonic energy rippling around her.
Before either could react further, I drew the blade across my palm — deep enough for blood to spill freely.
Both of them tensed instantly, mana flaring.
"You— what are you doing?!" Sona's voice held a sharp edge of alarm.
Instead of answering, I let the Stimpak appear in my other hand. The injector hissed softly as I pressed it against the wound.
In seconds, the skin knit itself back together — smooth, unscarred, not even a trace of blood left.
Tsubaki's eyes widened a fraction, her guard still up but tinged with disbelief.
Sona leaned forward slightly, the gears in her mind already turning.
"…It really works," she murmured under her breath.