After resolving all the issues with Octavia and Loona, who, to my relief, accepted my explanations and even apologized for their behavior (unexpected, but pleasant), we moved back to the living room. There, a familiar scene awaited us: Vaggie, arms crossed, was lecturing Angel Dust, who was practically fighting to get closer to the "meeting room" and eavesdrop on what interesting things we were discussing. Husk watched this scene grimly from behind the bar, and Pentious was still trying to restore order among his eggs, who had started a real paint war (and Alastor would have to clean it up...).
Lately, Angel has been very nervous for some reason unknown to me. Maybe work at Valentino's is overwhelming? I mean, I wasn't particularly interested in digging through his dirty laundry, but by Hell's standards, the guy wasn't the worst. Annoying—yes, but not evil at his core.
"So, you're not talking to Stolas now?" I ask Octavia, setting aside the still-unfinished cup of tea Charlie brought. I just can't stand Hell's tea, kill me! I can't! Now in Heaven... herbal infusions, strong coffee... I'm starting to grumble like an old man. Oh well.
"Yeah... he... For now, yes..." the girl answered somewhat sadly, lowering her gaze.
"I suspect the scriptwriter had serious daddy issues..." I exhale involuntarily, voicing the thought aloud. Seriously! Charlie—daddy issues, Octavia—daddy issues, Moxxie—daddy issues, Blitzo—daddy issues, Abel (in canon)—daddy issues, Angel—daddy issues, Stolas himself—daddy issues... Have I fucking missed anyone?! Who here did have a good relationship with their dad? Millie? Exactly... One in all of Hell. Some statistics.
"What?" the owlet immediately asks with curiosity, clearly not having heard my quiet comment.
"Hm?" Loona raises her head from her phone, ears perking up with interest. She clearly heard everything.
"Oh, nothing," I wave it off. "I was just thinking... do you even know your grandfather? You know, Stolas's father?" The younger owl could certainly be accused of being a shitty father (and husband, for that matter), and I didn't really argue with that, but one had to understand that his own father, Paimon, was also far from the honorary title of "Father of the Year." The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
"Grandpa Paimon?" the young demoness raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Well, yeah, of course. We were at his reception when... And we saw each other on other days sometimes, talked. Not very much, true, but I know Grandpa."
"I see..." Well, since they talked "not very much," one could assume with a high degree of probability that Paimon might not even remember his own granddaughter's name. And in this way, one could easily and simply show Octavia why her father, Stolas, has such a shitty understanding of what a real father should be...
Fuck, am I shouldering other people's problems again?
I'd noticed this little sin of mine a long time ago. And in my past life, I definitely wasn't such an altruist. I mean, what difference does it make to me, really, what problems Octavia has with her family? I'm not part of her family, just... an acquaintance. Yes, a powerful one, yes, the one who saved her father, but still. So why the hell am I getting involved in all this again? Why can't I just empathize and fuck off to my own, much more important, business?
This could be explained in many different ways, from the proverbial "hypercompensation" due to past losses, to some crap like the "influence of Light" on my dark (now) soul. However, in fact—it was all bullshit. The real reason lay elsewhere—Adam. More precisely, his original character, as he was in the past.
The first man was the exact same busybody, sticking his nose into everything that didn't concern him. Problems in some unfamiliar family? Adam rushes to the rescue! A demon invasion of Earth? Adam is already sharpening his big two-handed sword to stick it up someone's ass... In short, due to the peculiarities of the human system at the beginning of time, Adam became just this type of guy—the savior of all Eden. And he only lost his irrepressible desire to meddle everywhere and solve all of everyone else's problems a couple of thousand years ago, when he was betrayed and crucified... Well, those memories of Judas's betrayal had a rather weak effect on me, because old Adam's memory began to awaken in me from his very first days, and the closer it got to the moment of my "possession," the slower the memory recovered. Roughly speaking, my current behavior was much closer to that Adam from the distant past than to the cynical, weary-of-life Adam from the animated series canon.
Was it useful to be that "busybody"? Hell no, of course not. It was complete bullshit, taking up a ton of time and energy, but... since I could help, and I wasn't sick of this universal altruism yet, then why not?
"Why did you ask about Grandpa?" Octavia's question pulled me out of my deep thoughts.
"Well, I was thinking it would be best for you to discuss your father's behavior with him. I understand that Stolas is far from ideal..." I began to carefully explain my point of view.
"To put it mildly," Loona immediately threw in her two cents, without even looking up from her phone. "What?" she asked innocently when we all stared at her. "Little Via has already chewed my ear off about what an asshole he is. Where am I wrong?"
"Ahem, well, actually, yes. Let's agree that he's an 'asshole,'" I nodded, deciding not to argue with the obvious. "But he didn't just become like that for no reason, right?" I continued my thought. "I'm not asking you to forgive him right now for what he did. I just want you to try to understand why your father, who seems to sincerely love you and tries to be a good parent, constantly ends up in some kind of shit. Maybe talking with Paimon will help you see the whole picture."
"I... I think that's not a bad idea," Octavia thoughtfully bit her lip. "And I don't want to go back to my uncle's castle anyway. I'm already sick of constantly listening to all this talk about Father... And maybe Grandpa will let me live with him for a while."
"Why don't you stay with us for now?" Charlie immediately perked up; she had been carefully listening in until now. She seized the moment to jump into our conversation, which made me smile a little. This girl clearly had no friends in her circle, and now, having met a "good" demon of similar status, her desire to become friends with Octavia was visible to the naked eye. And because of the, albeit small, but still noticeable age difference, Vaggie wasn't jealous of her at all, unlike in the canon, where at the sight of Emily, the fallen angel immediately pouted and started hissing.
"An excellent idea, by the way! The Hazbin Hotel is a great place for a temporary stay, I can personally confirm!" I nodded with an important air, catching Charlie's enthusiastic gaze and a very suspicious one from Vaggie, who had just walked up to her girlfriend. Right, and Angel could wipe that sly smirk, in the style of "I know everything, darling," off his face.
"But... it's located in Pentagram City, isn't it? And we're not sinners..." Octavia began to tactfully back out, but the princess of Hell had already seen her prey... I mean, seen a possible new guest and potential friend, and now she definitely wouldn't let her go until the owlet sorted out all her problems with her father... Still sounds kind of shitty, but oh well.
"Alright, you guys chat here for now, I have to fly off on my own business," I slap my palms on my knees and resolutely get up from the sofa. "Oh, what did I come here for? Get ready to go to Heaven after the Extermination. Exactly one week after the Extermination, all hotel guests will go on a tour of Heaven."
"TO HEAVEN?!" The surprise on the faces of everyone who heard that (and it seemed everyone in the lobby heard) was written in such large letters that it's no wonder the esteemed sinners shouted it almost all at once.
"Yep. The Carmine family will be going with us too, if that means anything to you..." I continued to plunge the local sinners into a state of deep shock.
"Carmilla Carmine? One of the most powerful Overlords of Pentagram City? The one who deals in weapons, including angelic ones?" Vaggie clarified, looking at me with distrust. "Although, lately there have been rumors that she completely stopped doing that and is doing something else..."
"Ah, right! Our slippery friend used to buy from her all the time, I remember!" the spider nodded, pointing with a smirk at Sir Pentious, who was still unsuccessfully trying to rein in his eggs...
"That's the one," I confirmed. "Anyway, prepare yourselves mentally and physically. And try to show your best side. You don't want to let me and Charlie down, do you?" I headed for the exit, noticing surprisingly serious, thoughtful nods from Angel and even from Husk... O-ka-a-ay. It seems the prospect of getting into Heaven was something significant even for such hardened cynics.
"Oh, Adam, you're leaving already?" Charlie bounced up to me. "What should we bring? What's your weather like? What should we wear? Does it rain in Heaven?" the princess of Hell immediately began to assault my poor brain with a whole bunch of questions... Oh, who does she take after, being so restless? Her father, for sure...
"You've got your own personal angel right there," I nodded towards Vaggie, who immediately blushed a little when I called her "Charlie's personal angel." "Go ask her all these questions, kiddo. Uncle Baal Adam has more important things to do." I paternally ruffled the surprised demoness's hair and continued on my way to the exit. "Good luck, everyone! And don't fight too much, or I'll punish you," I threw the last words over my shoulder as I walked out the hotel doors.
Whe-e-ew, well, it seems all matters with the Hotel are settled. Finally, I could get down to something really serious! Bringing the Deadly Sins over to the side of Light!
...
Why are you looking at me like that? Yes, it sounds stupid, almost absurd, but what the hell difference does it make if the local Deadly Sins (not counting Lucy himself) are just ancient critters infected with Darkness who gained sentience? Finding an approach to each of them will be difficult. No, not just difficult, VERY, fucking, difficult. Although I, as the great and beautiful Archangel, already had some ideas about that. But for all its complexity, it was also very important. The relationship between Heaven and Hell could hardly be called friendly, but we coexisted, and coexisted, on the whole, successfully (for the last few thousand years), and Eve's appearance was a problem for all of us.
First off, it would be logical to go to the strongest of the Sins—to Satan and Beelzebub. Both of these demons could twist all the others into knots without any particular problems. Satan could probably take them all on together if necessary. That dragon was strong as... well, as a dragon, what else is there to say? Leviathan and Mammon were also strong demons, but they clearly didn't measure up to the Hell's Judge and the False God. And I... simply didn't know what would guarantee bringing them to my side. Again, I had ideas, but I was more or less confident about Beelzebub—she seemed like a decent girl, and even relatively honest (which in itself sounded funny for a False God), so if I ask her to fulfill that request she promised me, as Baal, she'll do it... I hope... But with Satan, it was even easier—Eve was planning something VERY shitty, most likely—the conquest of everything, and Satan himself wanted to be the ruler of Hell, and he definitely didn't need extra competitors—one Lucy was more than enough for him. So, a couple of the right words—and that dragon will be on our side, completely and entirely.
Like I said, these two were the best option. But what about Mammon and Leviathan? We-e-ell... in theory, one could offer the sin of Greed money... or some unique artifact, for example, one that creates real gold... Hm, I'm a genius! Any demon at the overlord level and even some lower could create items from Darkness, but their creations would eventually crumble to dust from the creator's long absence. The stronger the demon—the longer its item existed, and the closer the demon—the slower the decay. Mammon could create as much gold as he wanted, but it would simply disintegrate after a few hundred, or even thousand, years. Yes, the period is still huge, but... he himself understood that all his trinkets were worth absolutely nothing. Otherwise, why would he create his bank and fill all of Hell with his Hell Dollars? Exactly. So, an automatic artifact creating real gold, made of Light and Darkness—that was already a decent bargaining chip.
With Leviathan, things were even more shaky—her character in the canon was shown... barely, if at all. So, my only idea was to offer her something "cooler" than a gold generator... A diamond generator? Ancient debris?... Ahem, my thoughts are straying... In short, the "gift" for her had to be cooler than the "gift" for Mammon, if only because she is the Sin of Envy, and, in theory, such a move might look pretty good... Alright, what's next?
Asmodeus was practically useless in combat—his power wasn't designed for serious fights, and that incredible strength he showed in our fight was just a "gift" from Eve, which she could take back at any moment. So, we'll go to him last. That left Belphegor.
Belphegor—in terms of strength, she was about equal to Asmodeus. She never trained and was extremely lazy by nature. I remember when I infiltrated her tower, that sheep just asked me to close the door behind me, or something like that. In short, also not the most useful character, from a combat perspective... And what could I even offer her? A body pillow in the shape of me? Hm... that might actually work...
Alright, to hell with it for now. The minimum plan is Beelzebub and Satan; the rest—as time permits. We'll see...
As for hiding from Eve, I wasn't going to bother anymore. That bitch has probably planted her damn eyes in every part of Hell over thousands of years. And even if the main number of her equivalents to my drones were in the Pride ring, they were in the other rings too. Let the bitch know that preparations are being made for her arrival, and that, if it comes to it, her ass will be torn into a thousand little asses... Okay, it sounded much cooler in my head... although, I'm saying all this in my head anyway... I'm really going crazy, it seems.
Transporting to the Gluttony ring was easy. In general, I never ceased to be amazed by portals—teleportation was just OP! Just had to wish for it—and boom, I'm in a completely different dimension! Of course, this was only possible because old Adam himself had once walked through all the circles of Hell with fire (holy) and sword (or rather, guitar-axe), but still—it was pure cheating! Just like the screens showing what's happening anywhere in any world at my whim.
After arriving at the habitat of the Sin of Gluttony, I had to find her... residence, let's call it that. Queen Bee was constantly throwing some kind of party, literally every day, even if she didn't always personally attend them. But it was worth starting the search right in the place where she and I first met... The problem was, I didn't remember at all where that was, because I drove there in some loser imp's car. So, it looks like I'll have to fly around... a lot...
At that very moment, I heard the gobsmacked screams of demons from below—hellhounds had simply incredible instincts and reflexes. Unlike the short-sighted (and dim-witted) imps or sinners (just as dim-witted), they seemed to have spotted me almost immediately. And even though I wasn't invisible, I had to give them their due... And also ask them directly where their queen is now. Why didn't I think of that right away?
"Hey, doggy, can you tell me where I can find your main vixen right now?" I descended right in front of a group of demons and asked the biggest one. This male (I'm not even going to try to guess how to decline that crap) hound looked like a huge, anthropomorphic wolf with dark gray fur, with a scar crossing his right eye. He was wearing gray shorts, a black T-shirt, and a gray denim vest with short sleeves. I had a clear feeling I'd seen him somewhere before, but... I just couldn't remember where. And what difference did it really make?
"A-Adam? You need Bee?" he asked, surprisingly calmly.
"I prefer 'straight,' if that's what you mean. But yes, I need Beelzebub," I confirmed, noting with some surprise how calmly this hound... or hellhound... whatever... reacted. Fucking hell, I said I wouldn't even try to say it right... Anyway, calling Beelzebub just "Bee"? Could it be Vortex? I think Beelzebub was dating this Vortex guy. And he looked very similar... well, wonderful. If it was him, it means that even if Queen Bee isn't at her latest party right now, finding her will be quite easy.
"What do you need her for?" instead of answering, this demon just continued to question me. To which I just raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Look, get me right. I understand it's better not to cross figures of your scale, but she's, like, my girlfriend, and if you have some claims against her..." Vortex continued, apparently understanding my silent question correctly.
"No, I have no claims against her. Rather, a small request. Can you help me contact her?" Generally, his behavior commanded my real respect. This dog... okay, wolf, clearly felt my power, understood it, and realized that he stood no chance if it came to it, unlike his "girlfriend" (in his own opinion). But he still told me this directly, hiding nothing, and trying to resolve the situation in advance, without any support from one of the strongest Deadly Sins. I was sure, if I had flown here to kill Beelzebub, I wouldn't have learned a damn thing from him.
"Oh, well, then, of course," the demon exhaled with undisguised relief, after which he turned to his companions. "Guys, let's reschedule for tomorrow? Some important business came up,"—his hound friends just sighed understandingly, said their goodbyes, and immediately dispersed, while the wolf-demon himself began to rummage through his phone, and, after ten seconds, finally found the contact he needed. "I'll warn her," he warned me in advance, it turns out.
"No problem," I nodded, looking at the yellow sky with feigned indifference, pretending not to notice the dozens of demons of all shapes and sizes who were now actively taking pictures of me from all sides.
"Ahem, hey, honey bee," meanwhile, this hound (male, I remind you) finally got through. "No, everything's fine... Yeah, I'll be there soon. But I've got some news... uh, well, Archangel Adam just flew up to me and asked to meet with you..." the wolf said, then glanced at me a little anxiously, as if silently asking: "am I saying this right?". I nodded silently. "No... okay, we'll be there soon..."
"I take it everything went well?" I inquired, casting my displeased gaze at an overly loud group of local angel-photographing enthusiasts, which made them immediately quiet down and hasten to retreat.
"Well, yeah. Bee said she's not against meeting. So... should I call a cab?"
"What for? I'm an angel..." I nodded at my wings, which I simultaneously flexed, immediately hearing another strange, ecstatic cry from those demon-voyeurs... What the hell is wrong with them?
"Well, I don't have any. And flying in your arms... sorry, man, but my psyche is definitely not ready for that..." the wolf explained.
"..." In response, I silently lifted him into the air with my telekinesis.
"Ah-h-h, well, okay then," he immediately agreed.
And so, in this somewhat strange manner, we flew off to meet the Deadly Sin of Gluttony...