Hours passed, and I was sitting at the steps of the porch. I felt… as great as can be aside from the exhaustion that I can't heal. The night sky was utterly pretty here too. It's as pretty as we left it.
The moon was shining down upon me; in addition the once starry night was gone, just a pitch black sky with a beautiful yellow moon. Everyone was asleep inside the home, just I was awake.
I'm sure my in-laws were scolding Melinda… or catching up, as far as I can remember, Melinda only sent letters. They have not spoken for thirteen or so years.
Boredly, I sat here whilst tapping my foot. Maybe I have gotten used to having a crazy life. Sitting here felt like a waste of time in my heart; I could be training my spells just in case… but I need a break in my mind.
In fact, I don't need to be so on guard here. Well… maybe after that village. Thank the gods for Shen's warning… Turns out one of her students did an investigation on it.
She had found multiple homes with blood stains covering everything; loose floorboards that led to a series of underground pathways. And approximately sixty or so individuals lived there; they were too well off for suspicions.
The underground pathways were not investigated according to Shen; but it was evident… that the village was not meant to welcome new visitors. I did not want to bring that threat to my daughters.
Allisa… too naive and kind to witness that. I do not want to taint that innocence with that. Yukina I've noticed issues she's been having. She's more quiet, much more… of a busybody on purpose; it was as if she's running from something invisible.
They don't need to experience the absolute horrors of this world…. Further I mean… In my heart I felt a sting watching, listening helplessly when I wanted to protect them.
I should've been there with Allisa. I should've been there with Melinda, and Yukina. In Untergrant I tried to play a hero for the people and save them.
Everyone I tried to help there passed away. Like usual… I was too late to everything; I couldn't heal my wife's back, so I had to rely on Shen.
I held my head in my hands. I felt my mouth tighten, I couldn't unhinge it… I'm slipping, I'm starting to become useless. I need to protect everyone I love; but my hands are too weak.
"Honey?" A sweet… gentle voice broke me out; it was Melinda's… When I raised my head she was looming over me— her beautiful green eyes were looking at me worriedly.
She looked as beautiful as ever, even her appearance was clean— cleaner than everyone in our group. "What's wrong?" She asked me, I wanted to wrap her in my arms.
"I'm… a failure, aren't I?" I replied, I couldn't help but hold a pity filled voice. "I couldn't protect Allisa, I couldn't protect you, Yukina… Even when I tried my best… you all got hurt."
"..."
"Nevermind…" I muttered as I rubbed my eyes. Melinda was left gawking at me; she was thinking: what the heck am I talking about? She doesn't need to hear my-
"What kind of crap are you saying?" She grabbed the collar of my shirt and yanked me down. "You're doing what you can, you idiot! You can't protect everyone from everything!"
".."
"James, did you even see what was happening?"
"I did… I-"
"Get your head thinking straight you idiot! I'm alive, Allisa and Yukina are alive!" I felt her hand smack the top of my head; she was gritting her teeth whilst glaring into my eyes. "That's already a MIRACLE in itself! It's a blessing I can walk, you do realize that, right?"
"..."
"We can't protect Allisa and Yukina from everything."
"I want to…"
"That'll be coddling them… Allisa's far too naive for her age." Melinda brought me down further. She was pinching my cheeks now. "Yukina… She's experienced a lot you know that right?"
"Yes…"
"You only saw the scars on her stomach; only a small bit." Her words stung, but the hands on my face softened. "They're… as bad as what Shen and I talked about."
"I really should've killed those two." I said without thinking. I should've. When my party went into that forest… We heard Yukina's screaming and we ran to it.
When we killed the goblin that had Yukina in its grasp, there were two other men just behind us. They called her a thing. They knew who she was. They were the ones who were abusing her.
They were disgusting, their hair and clothes shabby. Their gear shobby at best, even I could overpower them. But with a threat they scurried off like rats.
Why didn't-
"James…"
This time I felt my mind clear up, Melinda's voice caused my entire body to jolt. "James Gabri."
"Y-Yes?"
"Stop mulling it over. We need to give everyone the best life we can."
"Y--ow! Ow! Wh-"
"Now stop being an idiot!"
Thus… for so long I got a scolding from my own wife. I felt inadequate, too inadequate. But… I can become adequate. She really is amazing, she can be so soft yet can be so strict.
It'll… come with effort. But… I know what to do now. Even if I can't protect them fully I need to stop crying about it.
With a deep breath I got up whilst holding her hands. With a smile, I said, "Don't worry. I'm feeling better… after that. Let's get inside, everyone else is asleep."
"Mhm, my bed sounds so good…" Melinda replied with a smile; which grew wider when I set my hand around her side.