"You... why are you here...?"
The Skrull wearing Tony Stark's face stumbled backward, fear bleeding into his voice despite his efforts to control it.
Of all the people he could have encountered today, Luke was the last one he wanted to see.
"Dunno," Luke replied. "Maybe because you built something so massive that half of New York could see it. Did you honestly think nobody would notice?"
The Skrull kept retreating.
Luke noticed immediately. "And aren't you a little too scared of me? It's not like I've gone out of my way to bother the Skrulls."
That much was true. Up until now Luke had mostly ignored them. Every conflict between them had started with the Skrulls making a bad decision.
"You... are... a monster..."
Luke's expression darkened. "Well, by my standards you're scum." He pointed directly at him. "Do I announce that every time I see you? No."
The smile on his face disappeared.
"So stop calling me a monster before I decide to prove why that's a terrible idea."
Tony wisely kept his mouth shut. The Skrull did the same.
"Let me guess," Luke continued, stepping forward.
"The plan was to throw me into another dimension, a black hole, or something equally stupid. Sound about right?"
No answer came. The panic written across the Skrull's face said everything.
His eyes darted around the laboratory. No exits. He couldn't outrun Luke, couldn't fight him, couldn't hide. For the first time since arriving on Earth, he understood what genuine hopelessness felt like.
Then something shifted in his expression.
In one swift movement he pulled out a weapon and aimed it at himself. If escape was impossible, death was preferable.
Tony understood immediately. "Looks like a dead end," he muttered.
Luke glanced at him. "Even a dead end isn't actually dead."
Before the Skrull could pull the trigger, Luke raised a finger casually. The weapon stopped. The Skrull stopped.
His entire body lifted from the ground as brilliant white light engulfed him, the room growing so bright Tony had to shield his eyes.
Gradually the light shifted. White into gray. Gray into black. Then both the darkness and the Skrull were gone.
Silence settled over the laboratory.
Tony stared at the empty space before turning toward Luke. "Did you just do something horrible?"
Luke considered the question. "Yes."
Tony sighed. At least it was honest. "What exactly did you do?"
"Removed him from Earth and dropped him onto a deserted planet."
Tony nodded slowly. That sounded relatively reasonable.
"No cities," Luke continued.
Tony stopped nodding.
"No food. No animals. No plants." Luke paused. "And I modified him so he can't die."
The room went very quiet.
"So he'll spend eternity dealing with hunger, loneliness, and despair without ever getting the relief of death," Luke said, completely casual about it.
Several long seconds passed before Tony opened his eyes. "Remind me never to make you genuinely angry."
Luke shrugged. "That's a solid life choice."
***
After dealing with the Skrull, Tony and Luke headed toward the containment area where the captured variants were being held.
Tony moved to the control console while Luke waited nearby with his hands in his pockets.
A few moments later, the first containment pod opened.
The variant Tony stumbled forward slightly as the fluid drained away.
Before he could fully process what was happening, Luke casually slapped him across the face.
Smack.
Without missing a beat, he walked over to Steve's pod and repeated the process.
Smack.
"Wake up," Luke said. "Or would you rather I dissolve you?"
The threat proved remarkably effective.
Both men opened their eyes immediately.
Variant Tony looked at Luke.
Variant Steve looked at Luke.
Apparently satisfied, Luke turned toward the remaining pods.
His attitude changed noticeably when he reached Natasha and Wanda.
Instead of slapping them awake, he lightly tapped on the glass.
The pods opened moments later.
"Hey," Luke said. "Wake up."
Natasha blinked as consciousness returned.
Wanda wasn't far behind.
The difference in treatment was impossible to miss.
Variant Tony slowly turned toward the other Tony.
Tony immediately raised both hands.
"Don't look at me," he said. "I've already accepted that his standards make no sense."
Luke ignored the comment entirely.
As far as he was concerned, everything had been handled appropriately.
Several minutes later, all four variants had recovered enough to hold a conversation.
Tony quickly explained the situation, covering the Skrull infiltration, the impersonation scheme, the dimensional experiments, and the black-hole incident that had nearly become a catastrophe.
The variants listened carefully.
None of them seemed particularly pleased by what they heard, especially after learning how close they had come to being stranded permanently.
"Well," the variant Tony said after absorbing everything, "that explains a lot."
"It also explains why the portal never activated," Steve added.
Luke nodded.
"The Skrull never planned on sending you home."
That earned several annoyed looks.
At least the problem had already been dealt with.
After a brief silence, the variant Tony looked toward Luke.
"So... how exactly are we getting back?"
Luke responded by extending a hand.
Space folded inward.
Reality warped.
A circular tear opened in front of the group, revealing an entirely different Earth on the other side.
Their Earth.
Variant Tony recognized it immediately.
"So the ride home is ready," Luke said.
The four variants stared at the gateway.
Before stepping through, the variant Tony glanced back at his counterpart.
"Try not to get replaced by aliens again."
Tony snorted.
"Try not to get kidnapped by them."
The variant Tony considered that for a moment.
"Fair enough."
The four stepped through the portal and disappeared into their own universe.
With Superior Iron Man already dead, the man responsible for their world's invasion was gone. The greatest threat facing their reality had been removed, and their universe was no longer in immediate danger.
The portal closed behind them.
Silence settled over the containment chamber.
Tony turned toward Luke.
"Please tell me today is finally over."
Luke actually thought about it.
"Honestly, I wouldn't bet on it."
*****
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