"There's no way the Boss would miss out on a spectacle that hilarious," someone added.
"So, where was he?"
"Right here," Bara said, pointing at the screen. Everyone leaned in to get a closer look.
"The Boss is in the video?"
"No."
"Then where—"
Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in Shino's head. "Wait... don't tell me the one who filmed this and uploaded it was... the Boss?"
"Bingo, Shino."
"Wha—!? No way!"
"So that was him..."
"But what does that have to do with being 'self-staged'?"
"Allow me to explain," Bara said, before recounting the events that took place in Argo's room.
"Well, here it is. Your new room."
"Dammit... what is this, some kind of public humiliation play? Whatever. It looks comfortable enough. I guess I wouldn't mind living here, y'know-zo?"
"You say that now to make me feel better, but you'll probably stop coming here the moment I look away, won't you?"
"No, no! Hahaha! As if I'd do something like that, ro!"
"Take a look at this," Hachiman said, showing Argo the video on his phone.
"Huh? Geck! Is that from earlier...?"
"There were a few people filming, so I figured it would be uploaded somewhere. I took a look, and sure enough, there it was."
"Are you serious? No matter how you look at this, that's clearly me-chi, yo..."
Argo muttered in despair. However, he was falling for the exact logic Bara had just explained. To an outsider, the situation was incomprehensible. The upload didn't actually hurt Argo's reputation at all, but in his post-humiliation state, he wasn't thinking clearly.
"So, that's the situation," Hachiman continued. "This video is going to draw a crowd. I bet there will be even more spectators tomorrow."
Argo froze. "T-Tomorrow...?"
"You were thinking you just had to survive today, right? Well, if the security cameras catch you leaving the building between clock-out and clock-in, I'm going to do the exact same thing to you tomorrow."
Argo's cheek twitched. "Like I'd let you catch me! With my skills..."
"Do you really think you can easily break through the 'Iron Wall' defense that you, Dal, and Eve built together?"
"Argh! Damn it! I forgot about that-ta!"
"And that's why I'll be coming back every single day until you give up. Let's go, Bara."
"Yes, sir."
"Ah, hey! Hachi-bou! Bara-chan...! Dammit... I won't lose! I'll endure this, zo!"
"And that's what happened," Bara concluded. "But the real kicker was what happened in the CEO's office after we got back to Soleil..."
"Welcome back, you two."
"Boss? You were here?"
"Oh, Bara, you didn't notice? While Hachiman-kun was carrying Argo-chan, I was in disguise, blending into the crowd and filming the whole thing."
"Wait, what? You were? Ah... then, don't tell me that upload earlier was..."
"Yep. Me."
"Now," Hachiman added, "Argo will spend all day tomorrow assuming every employee he doesn't recognize is just a member of the general public."
"How long do you think he'll last?"
"Three days, if we're lucky."
(Ugh, these two... they're playing him like a fiddle...) Bara thought.
"Well, when you're dealing with a guy like him, you can't really overdo it," Hachiman remarked.
"So, that's the gist of it," Bara finished.
"I see..."
"So, Shino. Have you figured out what 'B.O.S.S.' stands for yet?"
"Um... 'The Boss is Overworking Staff Society'?"
"Wow... that was a reach, even for you."
"Well, I didn't know!"
Minami turned to Bara. "Chief, even if you told us to guess, honestly, I don't think any of us would ever have gotten it."
"Fair enough. Shino, the Sha-Otsu-Kai—or the B.O.S.S.—actually stands for: The Society of Maidens Who Are Fed Up With the Fact That the Boss Is Too Popular."
The moment the words left Bara's mouth, Shino started packing her bags to leave.
"I—I am not feeling some kind of petty jealousy like that!"
As Shino turned to walk away, the others began to chime in one by one.
"I plan on staying by Hachiman's side for the rest of my life," Bara said casually.
"My faith in God is unchanging; the same applies to my feelings for him," Cruz added.
"I—I can't go that far," Minami stammered, "but when I think about working alone with him as his secretary, my heart starts racing..."
"I get that," Mai said. "Every time Hikigaya passes by the reception desk, my heart skips a beat."
"I'm not quite there yet," Kaori murmured, "but lately, whenever I call him 'Hachiman-sama,' my pulse starts to quicken..."
Hearing all this, Shino spun around on her heel, sat back down in her seat, and muttered under her breath:
"Now I'm actually starting to get annoyed..."
Bara slapped Shino on the back with a hearty laugh. "Hahaha! See? I told you! Makes you want to get a little jealous, doesn't it?"
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